Frustration with other points of view that seem crazy and retarded.

[mandyjw]

3 hours ago, lmfao said:

@mandyjw The simple truth of it is, unless someone thinks the same as me (within whatever bounds I've unconsciously created), I hate it! Like unless people agree with me, I'll feel lacking or alone or not accepted. So I have just need to let go and be at ease with other people thinking and being what they are.

But there's also another thread here. I hate "being the villain" , hate disagreement and hate conflict with people. And that's intertwined with disliking people having other opinions, because I dislike conflict. 

I know how that feels. Leo's Spiral Dynamics series was really key to helping me let go of the feeling of anger and isolation. I was raised in a stage blue culture, inundated with stage blue religion and I really couldn't stand it and felt alone most of my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. After I felt like I could understand them better, and understand the bigger picture process better, I started looking at commonalities and things to appreciate rather than differences, and there were so many. Turns out I had built walls of isolation and differences in a lot of ways other than that. 

3 hours ago, lmfao said:

But the universe keeps guiding me to taking the role of being abnormally honest in real life, where I have to be the one to say and do difficult things for the sake of lifting up myself and those around me. Sometimes I get pissed at God "Oh why oh why do I have to be the one to do it, why can't someone else".

But it's all good I guess. Gets me excited and nervous at the same time. If I want things to change or improve, I have to be the one to take responsibility and take those first steps, can't expect others to do it for me. 

Completely relate to this too. Again, as you start to look for things to love in others and yourself it feels less like "why me God?" and more like sheer inspiration. Feeling good and focus are the same here. Sometimes you gotta stand up and say something, and it feels a whole lot better to do that then stand silent. Even if you upset some people, you're less likely to feel it as if it were personal. 

[Yali]

7 hours ago, lmfao said:

It's about you giving non-answers like "It's self-evident."

@lmfao That's my best answer given what I know to be true. Sounds like you’re not satisfied.

Edited February 3, 2021 by Yali

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Yali said:

@lmfao That's my best answer given what I know to be true. Sounds like you’re not satisfied.

So you're saying that the symbolic generalization of "gender", which is a result of a specific mammalian lineage of thousands of years of culture-specific linguistic development, is a self-evident property of the universe that exists anywhere at any time?

Edited February 4, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[Carl-Richard]

7 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

THAT IS A FORM OF GASLIGHTING AND MINIMIZATION. 

I feel violated

Edited February 4, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[mandyjw]

@Keyhole I honestly don't know what you're referring to, fill me in please?

Ok, I checked out your journal. I promise I hadn't listened to your vlog and the video had nothing to do with it, it's just my own recent insights and experience. If you want to talk more I'm happy to talk it over in PM since you don't want responses in your journal. 

[Keyhole]

@mandyjw I'll PM you, one moment.  I'm glad to know this.

[Porphyry Fedotov]

17 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

What? Ken Wilber actually actively bashes on modern notions of equality which he is  very rightin doing so imo

He also said this: "I have one major rule: Everybody is right. More specifically, everybody — including me — has some important pieces of truth, and all of those pieces need to be honored, cherished, and included in a more gracious, spacious, and compassionate embrace". 

 

[Abdelghafar]

Why do I feel that this thread is going to be locked for spiraling outta control?

Oh well, I guess we'll know from @Leo Gura eventually.

Edited February 4, 2021 by Abdelghafar
.

[lmfao]

3 hours ago, mandyjw said:

I know how that feels. Leo's Spiral Dynamics series was really key to helping me let go of the feeling of anger and isolation. I was raised in a stage blue culture, inundated with stage blue religion and I really couldn't stand it and felt alone most of my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. After I felt like I could understand them better, and understand the bigger picture process better, I started looking at commonalities and things to appreciate rather than differences, and there were so many. Turns out I had built walls of isolation and differences in a lot of ways other than that. 

I think this is getting off topic now but I'll comment anyway. 
Some of my anger and isolation arises from interacting with stage blue culture as well. I was raised muslim and went to Islamic Sunday school. Being irreligious made me feel disconnected to my family, so the only thing left is school. Sunday school aside, my regular high school during the week was very authoritarian and toxic with rich white kids trying to outcompete each other in grades and studying.

But even the authoritarianism and people's obsession with studying aside, I couldn't relate to many people my own age. Small talk and gossip I couldn't give less a shit about. I always preferred hanging out with older kids whenever I could. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings, and I think that made me mature in some ways for my age. But right now I'm very immature in other ways, e.g. being an independent functioning adult

3 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Completely relate to this too. Again, as you start to look for things to love in others and yourself it feels less like "why me God?" and more like sheer inspiration. Feeling good and focus are the same here. Sometimes you gotta stand up and say something, and it feels a whole lot better to do that then stand silent. Even if you upset some people, you're less likely to feel it as if it were personal. 

Getting back on topic now
The work to do can feel endless. But truthfully, the "why me God?" is more like a superficial lamenting because I love it "deep down". Doing any sort of shadow work is some mixture of "anxiety-excitement" for me. 

You're right it doesn't feel personal when I do it. I'm basically at the point now where I can't be silent even if I wanted to. Because I'm acting out "what's meant to unfold" , and I learn more and more about how emotions work as I do it. 

[Sempiternity]

On 2/3/2021 at 0:48 AM, Leo Gura said:

Hehehe....

You are not appreciating the depth of the situation and what I said.

Gayness has been a survival obstacle for men for thousands of years, which is why it is still so stigmatized around the world in nearly all cultures. The fact that some progressive pockets have advanced to a stage of society in the last 20 years where being gay is not a serious liability, that doesn't disprove my point, that proves my point.

Today, in a highly advanced society you can be gay without much problem. But this was not true for most of humam history, and it still is not true in most parts of the world. Hence stage Red and Blue gay stigmas remain.

None of this should be surprising to you. That you cannot see this shows how fucking pampered, entitled, and oblvious you are to the way most humans survive in the world.

If you live in San Francisco, NYC, or LA and act gay, no problem. If you live in Russia or the Middle East and act gay, they might cut your dick off just for fun.

Better yet, try acting gay in prison. See what happens to your survival odds.

Being gay is a luxury only recently made available thanks to rising incomes and advancements in civilization. Which is why in countries like Iran the idea of being gay does not even exist. They think gays only live in America. Because to be gay in Iran is suicidal.

All good points, thanks for the clarifications.