What's Wrong With Suicide?

[Preety_India]

Just now, BornToBoil said:

@Preety_India you just don't know me, I am really quite pathetic

You are the one to decide your own value. 

Careful with judging yourself. Your mind is constantly shaping itself around your own judgment. 

Don't let your shadow become your reflection. 

 

[Blackhawk]

1 minute ago, BornToBoil said:

@Preety_India you just don't know me, I am really quite pathetic

Nice. Me too. High five. People often don't understand how pathetic some people can be.

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India I know that you are right, but still, it just feels wrong to me to accept myself as I am now. I don't want to be that person anymore, I want to be someone that I actually admire. But it feels impossible to change.

[Preety_India]

Change will come only when you start thinking positive. 

That's the first step. 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India thank you. You are kind. Talking to you really helped me )

Can I ask why do you have 3 personalities in the description? Do you identify as all three of them?

Also why do you have a wind map there?

 

[BornToBoil]

Thank you all, guys

[Thought Art]

It is selfish and I mean, you already spent some time here. Better off just doing some qigong. 

https://www.holdenqigong.com/

[BornToBoil]

@Etherial Cat Yes, I guess I am ok. Just sad and kind of hopeless, lol.

The thing is that it feels like I am going in circles. I try to change, improve myself, but it's all futile, I am not getting anywhere. 

I try to set goals, create a vision for my life etc., only to have a backlash after a week or two, give up, throw it all away and ultimately achieve or change nothing. And it has been like that for as long as I can remember. 

[Ensho]

I'm terrified because I'm 26 and have constant severe depression. I'm crying as I type this because I just can't see a way out, to continue living, but I'm too scared to kill myself either.  It's a curse to be so hopeless at this age, imagining an entire life of suffering. I'm hanging on each moment until I can  finally see a therapist on Wednesday.

Edited February 1, 2021 by Ensho

[Blackbeat]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Umm. Life is sacred. I've always believed in the divine sacredness of life. 

A beautiful soul created into existence. 

Imagine the pain a mother would feel when she realizes her beautiful creation has come to an end. 

Imagine the pain God would feel when he realizes his beautiful creation gave up hope. 

In every soul, there is a hope,a promise, a beauty, a spirit and a breath. 

Snuffing out this breath feels unfair. 

 

 

True...

[BornToBoil]

@Ensho yeah, it really sucks. I constantly beat myself up for wasting the most important time of my life. I still hope that it will somehow change with time and I won't have to live like that for life.

[BornToBoil]

@Etherial Cat thank you

@Ensho also, music really helps me in the meantime

[Ensho]

@BornToBoil  thanks, I haven't listened to music in so long.

@Etherial Cat I just feel no emotions 24/7, except occasionally panic.

[mandyjw]

2 hours ago, BornToBoil said:

@mandyjw if what you are saying is true then why not just try again with a new life? Maybe I willl get lucky being born into a better person.

Will never happen. No one is better than another. 

[BornToBoil]

@mandyjw you are right )

[Nahm]

Nothing’s ”wrong” with beliefs, they’re beliefs. 

[Matt23]

I don't think there is anything right or wrong with it, and I don't think that saying it's wrong as a way to coherce someone to not commit suicide is the best or most loving way to do so.  

I'd say to a person who wants to do it "Ok, I love such that you're free to do it and I can't necessarily stop you if you wanted to do it."  But also that I think it's true that if the person did commit suicide, they'd feel deep regret since they might realize the love they've broken by losing life, reality, others, etc..  

So it's almost like those saying to not commit suicide can only simply suggest it, perhaps from empathic knowledge that the person will regret it.  And that if a person doesn't want the other to commit suicide from hurt about missing that person, that that could be selfishness on their part, but perhaps also love as well, but that perhaps the most loving way to interact and respect a person who wants to commit suicide is to try to not impose your own desires on them since they may then feel trapped and not free, but that the best way may be to simply suggest in a way indicating you're not trying to manipulate them, but simply trying to help them see if they really want to or not and that they may really regret the decision.

I don't know at all about this as I've not really thought about it.  But I think for me I see truth in these values of showing love to others by not imposing your will on them, even in these types of situations, and that that may be the better way of helping them in the end since you're showing them unconditional love, which may be a more powerful force in helping them change their decision then trying to manipulate and force them to not commit suicide since you're selfishly not wanting them to die so you can avoid your own suffering from that (which I'm also not condemning, since I think that is also 100% understandable).  

Seems to be something there with truth.

[Ensho]

@Matt23 @Matt23 @BornToBoil Hey I found this channel and thought it might help you. Gave me some peace of mind at least for a few moments. 

 

[Kundalini Cataclysm]

17 hours ago, BornToBoil said:

Why shouldn't a person kill themselves if they feel like it? They probably are not going to go to hell or something like that, so what reason there is for staying alive?

Oh man, I've been there. I can relate to suicidal ideation. I can't claim to have fully overcome it, but I did dive into it quite a bit. Here are some things that might help you:

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-biggest-mistake-you-have-ever-seen-caused-by-ego/answer/Artem-Boytsov

The source of this answer comes from this page: https://www.true-freedom.net/#Part_Ⅰ._Enlightenment. Much of the content of this page has been quite helpful to me already.

This was actually created by fellow forum member @BipolarGrowth I believe. If not, sorry for misquoting.

https://www.andrewholecek.com/suicide-from-a-buddhist-perspective/

https://www.andrewholecek.com/karmic-implications-of-suicide/

Also, assuming you haven't experienced death through spiritual practice and/or psychdelics etc., I suggest you try to admit to yourself that you actually have NO IDEA what really happens through and after death. Thus, you'd be changing a situation in which you at least theoretically have ways to get out of the deep hole you're currently in for total and utter uncertainty. That means ANYTHING could happen. Death could deliver you into a situation that is equally shitty as your current one, a better one or even a worse one. This unknowingness can be quite painful and terrifying in my experience, but admitting it has helped me quite a few times already.

I hope any of the things I've posted can help you. You're not alone in this mate.

 

[Nahm]

@Kundalini Cataclysm Nice. 

 

One can also contemplate, what is a death which is not a suicide? 

What is separate and comes to end, such that it’s end was not within it’s beginning all along? 

The seed was of the apple, the apple of the tree, the tree of the seed.

”What” dies, ”Who” dies, “I” dies, “you” dies. 

Awareness simply remains. Aware of these thoughts now, too.

”Seeds” and “trees” and “apples”, two. 

The eternal One, aware of “you”.