What was that insight that changed it all?

[The Buddha]

I would like to know that insight that you consider the climax, at least for now. Also, was there any insight that took you much time to grasp? or even after some awakenings, time had to pass till you fully start to even understand it's real implications?

So:

1 The juiciest of all your insights

2 The hardest of all for you

[Kyle Gjerseth]

For me I had an insight after an LSD trip about how everyone has empathy and natural desires for things like money and love and pleasure. I’ve had a lot of childhood trauma and thought of the world as an evil place and I thought people were just mean, which ofc they can be, but it’s all just psychology and their up bringing...so nobody is truly evil. That’s my take, I’d love to hear opinions

[Vibroverse]

OMG EVERYTHING IS ME. 

I felt like that. 

[Tim R]

The insight that really blew my mind was "I'm the universe, I am consciousness". That was my first big insight and it hit me like a freight train, since that day, nothing is the same anymore. 

I think the deepest insight I ever had was "Existence = Love" That one just blew my away. I never thought it could actually be true, but it is. 

[The Buddha]

20 minutes ago, Kyle Gjerseth said:

For me I had an insight after an LSD trip about how everyone has empathy and natural desires for things like money and love and pleasure. I’ve had a lot of childhood trauma and thought of the world as an evil place and I thought people were just mean, which ofc they can be, but it’s all just psychology and their up bringing...so nobody is truly evil. That’s my take, I’d love to hear opinions

Yes, I had also one similar, where I realized that literally everyone is doing it's best at all time. Also all people consider that they are doing the good and right thing, that really blew my mind.

19 minutes ago, Vibroverse said:

OMG EVERYTHING IS ME. 

I felt like that. 

That one is amazing, but everytime it hits me it's so fucking hard that later on It's hard to integrate it. The insight is always to intense to boil it down to my everyday, but definetely one of a kind experience.

7 minutes ago, Tim R said:

The insight that really blew my mind was "I'm the universe, I am consciousness". That was my first big insight and it hit me like a freight train, since that day, nothing is the same anymore. 

I think the deepest insight I ever had was "Existence = Love" That one just blew my away. I never thought it could actually be true, but it is. 

Nice, tbh my favourite insight was also love. Even after all profound metaphisical realization, the insight of there is just love; it's ecstasy and joy of beingness. Nothing ever compares to that universal Love of embracement and unity hug, so beautiful.

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Thank you so much for taking time to reply

@Kyle Gjerseth @Vibroverse @Tim R

[Valwyndir]

I wouldn't call this the climax, but this could be considered the deepest and most powerful experience I've had.

I started to realize that reality was a thought. I understood that reality was my imagination, but I hadn't fully understood what that meant. 

I began to realize that "consciousness" in the way I conceptualized it was not the "base" of reality. 

Instead, I had this incredible insight that just as smaller and smaller particles make up the physical world, 

Smaller and smaller thoughts make up consciousness. I now see consciousness as a stream of harmonious thought rather than some kind of substrate. 

Essentially your reality is a giant thought comprised of smaller and smaller thoughts.

You can become directly aware of a part of your subconscious that you previously had no access to.

You can become aware about how you are thinking that you are on planet earth right now. 

That thought never actually goes away in day to day life like you might believe, it just moves into the background. 

As I dove deeper and deeper into this insight I began to have the most dangerous thought you could possibly have.

I began to have the one thought that can't ever be fully thought of. 

The thought that ends all thoughts. Even thoughts beyond the human mind. The thought of the cessation of all mortal and divine thought.

I began to think that I didn't exist. And not I as the ego, but I as the true self.  

This wasn't any sort of ego death experience. I've had many of those to varying degrees. This was far deeper and more dangerous. 

If I were to think this thought, I wouldn't just die, but I would cease to exist. 

God would kill itself. 

Now of course, this thought could never actually be completely thought. That's the beauty of it. It's only possible to experience the onset.  

I experienced the beginning of a death so unfathomably ineffable that I would never attempt to explain it.

But imagine being sucked into a blackhole the size of an electron. Then multiply that by infinity.  

This wasn't the death of the ego, but beginning of the death of God.

This wasn't some experience to accept and practice non-resistance. 

This was an experience where resistance was mandatory.

I did everything I could to ground myself. I thought of the most human thing I could do to snap back into illusion.

I searched for the most unconscious porn I could find and started masturbating like an animal.  

After a few minutes, the thought subsided and I was back in the material world. 

This made me feel more alive than I ever had before. 

I was reborn. But I wasn't a new person.

I was a new God. 

 

 

Edited January 31, 2021 by Valwyndir

[undeather]

2 hours ago, The Buddha said:

1 The juiciest of all your insights

Nobody knows exactly whats going on 
 

Quote

2 The hardest of all for you

Nobody knows exactly whats going on!!!!!

[BipolarGrowth]

1. God Consciousness realization is probably the juiciest for me. My God Consciousness realization has always focused mainly on the fact that I (not the ego I) created everything and everyone I’ve ever experienced.

A runner up to this would be my experience of Infinite Freedom. I’m not sure if many people have had this insight to the extent I have. I’ve never seen it discussed anywhere. This is also described in the LSD video below. 

Here are a couple videos that describe two of my three experiences of God Consciousness. Manic Stories Ep.  #1 - Becoming God (Awakening to God Consciousness)

13 Tabs of LSD - Mapping Consciousness #2

2. The most difficult insight to make sense of came at the end of my first God Consciousness experience which happened on 6 grams of mushrooms. I had an insight come to me in plain English that undoubtedly felt to be coming directly from God which told me “you are better than Jesus Christ.” This came a couple months after I did a really deep guided visualization/meditation that was focused on visualizing yourself becoming the greatest version of yourself. In the exercise, I pictured Jesus and how he might live and act and held that as my highest vision and goal for myself - to live like him. I still don’t know what to make of this insight. I have good reasons to support both sides of this. 
 

As a runner up, making sense of some solipsistic insights I had have led me to question the foundation of my spirituality and view things with a much more skeptical approach when it comes to spiritual information. I’ve been dealing with that for the past two months. 

 

 

Edited January 31, 2021 by BipolarGrowth

[Vibroverse]

2 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

1. God Consciousness realization is probably the juiciest for me. My God Consciousness realization has always focused mainly on the fact that I (not the ego I) created everything and everyone I’ve ever experienced. Here are a couple videos that describe two of my three experiences of God Consciousness. Manic Stories Ep.  #1 - Becoming God (Awakening to God Consciousness)

13 Tabs of LSD - Mapping Consciousness #2

2. The most difficult insight to make sense of came at the end of my first God Consciousness experience which happened on 6 grams of mushrooms. I had an insight come to me in plain English that undoubtedly felt to be coming directly from God which told me “you are better than Jesus Christ.” This came a couple months after I did a really deep guided visualization/meditation that was focused on visualizing yourself becoming the greatest version of yourself. In the exercise, I pictured Jesus and how he might live and act and held that as my highest vision and goal for myself - to live like him. I still don’t know what to make of this insight. I have good reasons to support both sides of this. 
 

As a runner up, making sense of some solipsistic insights I had have led me to question the foundation of my spirituality and view things with a much more skeptical approach when it comes to spiritual information. I’ve been dealing with that for the past two months. 

 

 

Most of us in this forum are bipolar, because we know we are God and when we are in that mode it SUCKS. I watched your video on you taking 13 tabs and I know what you're talking about, it was amazing running naked ? And if you didn't feel doubt while talking to the man in Porsche, he could have invited you home to preach to his kids. No kidding. You're God. 

[BipolarGrowth]

@Vibroverse I think you might be right about the doubt thing, but if I had doubt in that moment, it was only subconscious which is of course still important. I’ve noticed some other occurrences where doubt might have stopped some crazy good things from fully manifesting for me due to my own disbelief. As many times as I’ve thought or been shown in some way that I could be some type of messiah or prophet, it’s damn hard to actually trust that insight enough to actually make it come to be true in anyone else’s eyes but your own. Once you take a step like that, you will, for many years, have the whole world against you, including your most supportive family members and friends. 
 

Also, be careful throwing around statements like “most of us in this forum are bipolar.” I will literally bet my freedom for the rest of my life that not over 50% of the users of this forum have an accurate clinical diagnosis of bipolar disorder (although for this bet to take place you also have to agree to become my slave for life if you’re wrong ), however, I’m fairly certain there is a higher percentage of bipolar people on here than what is found in the general population. This is likely due to the strong link between bipolar disorder and mystical experiences. I don’t know you or your story, but I do seriously question if you are actually bipolar making a statement like that. If you are bipolar, I’d guess it is bipolar type 2 or a mild version of type 1. Anyway, if you do have an accurate diagnosis, I’m glad that you have not had the type of experiences that would lead you to never talk of such a disorder in such an irreverent light. 

If the majority of people in this forum had bipolar disorder to the extent I do and practice spirituality to the degree Leo advocates, there might very well already be dozens of deaths attributed to Actualized.org. I know I came dangerously close to ending my own life after experiencing the damage high doses of psychedelics can cause to someone with severe bipolar disorder (typically type 1). There were also times where my reckless driving due to manic episodes triggered by psychedelics could have killed myself or others. Meditation can do similar levels of damage, as can practically any other practice or substance that raises your level of consciousness. 

[Moksha]

For me, the catalytic insight was that my conditioned mind has always been the source of my suffering. I saw my ego for what it truly was. I knew, beyond doubt, that my ego could never be trusted. When I directly realized this, I pried my fingers from the ledge that I had been clinging to all of my life, and fell into the void. It was a freefall away from "myself", and the Love that is my true Self caught me, and has kept me safe ever since.

[Vibroverse]

51 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

@Vibroverse I think you might be right about the doubt thing, but if I had doubt in that moment, it was only subconscious which is of course still important. I’ve noticed some other occurrences where doubt might have stopped some crazy good things from fully manifesting for me due to my own disbelief. As many times as I’ve thought or been shown in some way that I could be some type of messiah or prophet, it’s damn hard to actually trust that insight enough to actually make it come to be true in anyone else’s eyes but your own. Once you take a step like that, you will, for many years, have the whole world against you, including your most supportive family members and friends. 
 

Also, be careful throwing around statements like “most of us in this forum are bipolar.” I will literally bet my freedom for the rest of my life that not over 50% of the users of this forum have an accurate clinical diagnosis of bipolar disorder (although for this bet to take place you also have to agree to become my slave for life if you’re wrong ), however, I’m fairly certain there is a higher percentage of bipolar people on here than what is found in the general population. This is likely due to the strong link between bipolar disorder and mystical experiences. I don’t know you or your story, but I do seriously question if you are actually bipolar making a statement like that. If you are bipolar, I’d guess it is bipolar type 2 or a mild version of type 1. Anyway, if you do have an accurate diagnosis, I’m glad that you have not had the type of experiences that would lead you to never talk of such a disorder in such an irreverent light. 

If the majority of people in this forum had bipolar disorder to the extent I do and practice spirituality to the degree Leo advocates, there might very well already be dozens of deaths attributed to Actualized.org. I know I came dangerously close to ending my own life after experiencing the damage high doses of psychedelics can cause to someone with severe bipolar disorder (typically type 1). There were also times where my reckless driving due to manic episodes triggered by psychedelics could have killed myself or others. Meditation can do similar levels of damage, as can practically any other practice or substance that raises your level of consciousness. 

Interesting. 

[Breakingthewall]

Today I understood that I am in the same way that a stone is. And in both is the whole of universe. And anything else out of that "is" is illusion, nothing

[traveler]

I guess a climactic happening in my life was when I crossed the point of no return. I didn't do it consciously, I wasn't in control. I just smoked a joint and died into infinity, my whole life was seen to be a dream of the infinite singularity/god, my human name and life was infinitely significant, it reverberated through eternity and I realized that everything in "my" life was perfectly designed and synchronized for me to have that realization then and there, and that my human life was Gods life. The point of no return is that you from this awakening no longer can believe the dream fully, you can get lost in what is happening but you can never believe in the commonly accepted human story anymore; that there is a real separate me with consciousness and matter outside of me.

The juiciest insight that stuck with me is that this, what is happening right at this moment, is the infinite singularity/god/nothing appearing. These words are Gods words, there is no hierarchy, all is equally GOD.

[Carl-Richard]

1. I'm creating everything.

2. I have to accept death.

Edited February 1, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[Surfingthewave]

Interesting how we struggle to articulate this. The insight that shifted things for me:

1. It's about the balance between striving and surrendering. 

2. As above. 

[The Buddha]

3 hours ago, Surfingthewave said:

Interesting how we struggle to articulate this. The insight that shifted things for me:

1. It's about the balance between striving and surrendering. 

2. As above. 

Nice ones

[Nahm]

The insight of what insight actually is. (Not zen)

[The Buddha]

34 minutes ago, Nahm said:

The insight of what insight actually is. (Not zen)

wow

[Gesundheit]

That I don't know anything.