I woke up, but at the expense of my "self". How do I get it back?

[ir8221cu]

Hi. I'm out of the Matrix. I'm not a maxed out enlightened Buddha (I don't think I want to be that either) but I'm awake enough to no longer feel human; in fact, I feel holographic, non-tangible, and no longer bound by my body. When Leo talks of recognizing there's "nothing" there (literately) I'm living that: similar to how Frank Yang described it being a permanent out of body experience. All the parts of "me" that "made" me "me", fade in and out. Rarely (or if I drink) it seems my personality will come back in full-color - I'll be back home. Most of the time, however, there's just nothing there's - it's completely gone. It's just non-tangible awareness peering into what feels like a hologram. I'm only twenty one - I'm not ready to completely dissolve my personality & ego. I still have to build a career, date, experience life - all of this is really hard when there's nothing there anymore. How do I get myself back? 

[How to be wise]

@ir8221cu You’ll get it back, don’t worry. Later, you’ll wish you hadn’t. 

As said in the Bhagavad Gita: “Where there is other, there is suffering.”

[Surfingthewave]

@ir8221cu This will pass. 

Keep up your practice but maybe have a break for a while. 

Reconnect with others.

We're in a global pandemic so many people are experiencing intensity of feelings whatever that may be. 

Don't worry you won't ever completely dissolve your personality or ego ?. 

Just do things that bring you joy for a while and let go of the fear. 

[Rilles]

Lol, if you think theres someone to "get back" you havent woken up. 

There is no self, how do I get it back.

There is no such thing as the Tooth Fairy, how can I meet her.

Edited January 31, 2021 by Rilles

[Javfly33]

Nahm moderator can probably help you. Shoot him and message and maybe schedule and call with him

I can only say, you STILL can build a career, dating ...etc in no self.

It will be just be more authentic to what you want, you will definitely experience life more freely and deeply.

You probably are just acclimating to the new state of consciousness. The state will change accordingly to what you want to do in life each day. No matter how enlightened you are, you are intelligent enough to change your state when you are driving, for example.

In the same way, you can pilotate life how you want to achieve stage orange level stuff as they say. Just give it some time!

[BipolarGrowth]

3 hours ago, How to be wise said:

@ir8221cu You’ll get it back, don’t worry. Later, you’ll wish you hadn’t. 

As said in the Bhagavad Gita: “Where there is other, there is suffering.”

@How to be wise Where is this in the Gita? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard that in the audiobook form I’m used to. 

[ir8221cu]

@Rilles

The someone I'm referring to is just my old "personality" - my sense of humor, my charisma, my ability to small talk, connect, and engage with people and life: which used to be my biggest asset. That "thing" is very real; right now, I'm just a "blank canvass" devoid of personality - there's nothing there. When someone talks to me, I don't even know how to reply because there's "nothing" there to formulate a response to. This isn't a matter of "not being woke" it's being stuck in the no-self, devoid of no personality. When I drink, it seems it turns back on instantly, but sober me is stuck here. 

 

 

 

 

[vladorion]

You can inquire into who is the one who wants to get himself back.

[Inliytened1]

@ir8221cu you must come full circle to embrace ego again.  God is all states.  There is no special state.  You can be directly conscious that this is a hologram yet still fully immerse yourself in it.   There can now be a lack of attachment and suffering should you so choose, because you are conscious of your true nature.   The key is a seamless shifting between duality and non-duality.  Remember and forget.  It is the endless game God plays with Itself.

[VeganAwake]

8 hours ago, Rilles said:

Lol, if you think theres someone to "get back" you havent woken up. 

There is no self, how do I get it back.

There is no such thing as the Tooth Fairy, how can I meet her.

? ❤

[How to be wise]

7 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

@How to be wise Where is this in the Gita? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard that in the audiobook form I’m used to. 

Maybe it was the Buddha. In ‘The Religion of Tomorrow’, Wilber quoted that from someone.

[BlackMaze]

Be careful.. I know that it feels amazing but at the same time weird. Be careful how you paint your blank canvas. In my case i just formed a 50 times worse ego than before, had to suffer alot and now after 10 years i'm close to embracing my ego again. Of course our circumstances are completely different so maybe your experience will be very different. Your personality is still there btw. It's something like the bios. It still lives on a deep level. 

All i have to say is find a life purpose to work on look at yourself as a game character that you can build however you like and don't abuse any substance.