Can't have sex unless I'm in love

[ivankiss]

@Shin ❤

 

[vedame]

I can’t either. It has its advantages  But the one disadvantage that I would like to change that this strengthens my tendency for emotional dependence.

[Shin]

@ivankissImagine how hard you'll fuck that next gf.

She isn't prepared lol

[ivankiss]

16 hours ago, vedame said:

I can’t either. It has its advantages  But the one disadvantage that I would like to change that this strengthens my tendency for emotional dependence.

Interesting. Your comment got me thinking... a lot ?

Did not notice that in me. What I did notice though, is that many women rush into sex not because they enjoy it that much, but rather because they use sex as a tool - almost like a shortcut - to satisfy their emotional needs. 

Attention, validation and a sense of security is far more important to these women. And they know they will get all that if they take their panties off quickly and have crazy, out-of-this-world sex with a guy. 

Been there, done that. The sex gets less and less crazy, less and less frequent and they become more and more emotionally dependent.

In my case; I never used sex for emotional comfort. But I did have a tendency of becoming emotionally dependent in relationships. It's when I let someone 'too close' that I tend to grip too tightly. I was extremely attached in my last relationship. And the break-up literally killed a part of me. The emotionally dependent part. It was incredibly painful. But it was worth it.

I'm kinda against the 'don't get attached in a relationship' idea. To me that seems like it's coming from a place of fear. Fear of loss and pain. No. Do get attached. Love that person blindly and with your whole being. And if it doesn't work out... God be with you. You will burn. And you will rise from the ashes as a completely new beast. 

7 hours ago, Shin said:

@ivankissImagine how hard you'll fuck that next gf.

She isn't prepared lol

We will rip holes in the space-time continuum ? 

 

[Inva]

@ivankiss Start creating a vision for what you're looking for, don't deviate from it because there's too many women that do and there's too many women that we're so easily affected by because we're programmed to be when they're below what we really want. So many women are simply not ready to either properly connect or heal enough to connect. Them titties making us think them all pretties and kind, it an't true, some just plain looking for a lay for the monkey stimulation.

[ivankiss]

@Inva You speak the true-true. Thanks.

 

[vedame]

6 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Interesting. Your comment got me thinking... a lot ?

Did not notice that in me. What I did notice though, is that many women rush into sex not because they enjoy it that much, but rather because they use sex as a tool - almost like a shortcut - to satisfy their emotional needs. 

Attention, validation and a sense of security is far more important to these women. And they know they will get all that if they take their panties off quickly and have crazy, out-of-this-world sex with a guy. 

Been there, done that. The sex gets less and less crazy, less and less frequent and they become more and more emotionally dependent.

In my case; I never used sex for emotional comfort. But I did have a tendency of becoming emotionally dependent in relationships. It's when I let someone 'too close' that I tend to grip too tightly. I was extremely attached in my last relationship. And the break-up literally killed a part of me. The emotionally dependent part. It was incredibly painful. But it was worth it.

I'm kinda against the 'don't get attached in a relationship' idea. To me that seems like it's coming from a place of fear. Fear of loss and pain. No. Do get attached. Love that person blindly and with your whole being. And if it doesn't work out... God be with you. You will burn. And you will rise from the ashes as a completely new beast. 

We will rip holes in the space-time continuum ? 

 

That’s true, dear, for a lot of people. At least from what I see around me. They use sex to fill the emptiness, the void inside, to build fake self-esteem, and seek validation.

If i wasn’t demisexual, knowing myself I would probably do this too ? 

I am just after a breakup painful AF. I honestly can’t judge how dependent I was emotionally, what I know is that I loved that person wholeheartedly (before her - my transgender partner - I didn’t have anyone for many-many years, not even one night stands or anything).

So you say it’s possible to resurrect ? That’s good news. It feels nice to know someone gets what I’m going through. 
 

About the attachment thing you write about: yes, I feel the same way. I either love entirely and blindly, or... or not ?‍♀️

[vedame]

6 hours ago, Inva said:

@ivankiss Start creating a vision for what you're looking for, don't deviate from it because there's too many women that do and there's too many women that we're so easily affected by because we're programmed to be when they're below what we really want. So many women are simply not ready to either properly connect or heal enough to connect. Them titties making us think them all pretties and kind, it an't true, some just plain looking for a lay for the monkey stimulation.

I think really really really small amount of people (men or women) are ready to connect with another soul in a truly loving, selfless, kind and giving way. 
 

[ivankiss]

25 minutes ago, vedame said:

They use sex to fill the emptiness, the void inside

Yup. Feeling the void these days, hard ? But also; filling it with new, epic goodness.

I never used sex as a tool to stroke my ego. I used it as an escape from my ego. I got addicted to losing myself in the act. The feeling. It's like ecstasy.

37 minutes ago, vedame said:

So you say it’s possible to resurrect ? That’s good news.

Oh yeah. For sure, dear. 

It's a blessing in disguise.

38 minutes ago, vedame said:

I either love entirely and blindly, or... or not (at all) ?‍♀️

If I got a penny everytime I said that; I'd be a millionaire ? 

There is no in-between when it comes to love.

[WaveInTheOcean]

53 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I'm kinda against the 'don't get attached in a relationship' idea. To me that seems like it's coming from a place of fear. Fear of loss and pain. No. Do get attached. Love that person blindly and with your whole being. And if it doesn't work out... God be with you. You will burn. And you will rise from the ashes as a completely new beast. 

<3 <3 <3