Western (American) women have totally unrealistic standards

[Emerald]

Just now, MrBON said:

@Emerald What do you think of the video?

I didn't watch it. It's just not relevant to me. 

I am not a woman with a long laundry list of expectations... nor am I looking to marry a woman with a long laundry list of expectations. 

I was just reading through the thread and saw that you missed Leo's point about confirmations biases. And I was pointing out that this was a VERY common but fallacy-ridden rhetorical strategy. 

[MrBON]

Life is hard as fuck for guys, deal with it. Become strong and own the world. That is basically what the replies people get on these kind of posts.

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, MrBON said:

Life is hard as fuck for guys, deal with it. Become strong and own the world. That is basically what the replies people get on these kind of posts.

I understand why that would be difficult. Men are social beings and need support too. 

I think there tends to be a kind of cut-throat view of life and dating thrust upon men... which often makes things unnecessarily more difficult and not less.

Now, of course, dating/relationship is highly contingent upon conditions. So, there is that. There is no such thing as unconditional relationship. And everyone has their standards.

But it's important not to fall into victim mode.

And I ultimately think the reason why you seek out examples of women being harsh and overtly picky is because you fear that no woman will care for you for who you are. But that is not the case. 

 

[MrBON]

@Emerald I want to get what i offer, not less. If i offer a lot i want to get a lot in return. If i offer little then of course i will get little. I do not want girls that do not offer a lot require a lot and me to get forced to take it because a little is better than nothing. 

This is my emotional language talking aka ego language.

 

Edited February 2, 2021 by MrBON

[Emerald]

27 minutes ago, MrBON said:

@Emerald I want to get what i offer, not less. If i offer a lot i want to get a lot in return. If i offer little then of course i will get little. I do not want girls that do not offer a lot require a lot and me to get forced to take it because a little is better than nothing. 

This is my emotional language talking aka ego language.

 

I think there needs to be more experience. Right now, I think you're going off some hypotheticals and worst case scenarios. 

Now, there can be women out there who have a huge laundry list of qualities that they're looking for in a partner. This happens sometimes. But they're not better off for it.

This often just leads to analysis paralysis and a disconnect from genuine emotional resonance with someone. So, that is their cross to bear to get back in touch with feeling and to remove that intimacy block. I have worked with a good handful of women who are trying to open up but struggle with it. And there are often a litany of personal reasons why someone might micro-manage their love-life in that way... often dealing with fear and self-esteem issues... and even a desire to avoid repeat traumas from their childhood or from past relationships.

So, the reasons why someone becomes this way often has nothing to do with simply what's par for the course in dating. 

Now, when it comes to what you have to offer and finding someone analogous, I tend to find that like attracts like in that way. We tend to attract partners with analogous virtues and analogous vices. This is why it is good to develop ourselves as we are more likely to attract and be attracted to someone who is how we are. 

Now, it can happen that someone with lots to give ends up in a relationship with someone who only takes, but that can be chalked up to self-esteem issues and issues with boundaries and codependency. So, as long as you've hammered those out, it will be okay.

So, I would look a bit deeper at why you would expect that you'd attract a woman who would undervalue you and not treat you fairly. There can be many reasons. 

One common reason is just lack of experience talking to women in both platonic and romantic situations. When we don't interact much with a certain group, we can project our fears into the uncertainty.

Or it could be a feeling that you're inferior or inadequate in some way that was picked up along the way... and then fearing/assuming that no woman will ever value you as much as you value her.

I would really look deeply and honestly at (beyond the surface) what makes you feel like your contributions in a relationship would be undervalued or taken advantage of. And I would look first at your past in general... not just with regard to relationships.

Edited February 2, 2021 by Emerald

[Raze]

Women desire a man who is more 'masculine' then them so that they can feel feminine. This means they usually want him to earn as much or more than them, be more outgoing, etc. But in the west women are more masculine in general, in fact single women even earn more than single men, so no matter how 'masculine' they get they want a man who is even more masculine than them, which becomes a smaller and smaller minority.

[Axiomatic]

yall can say what you want, but western women in general do not make good partners. 

[Origins]

@MrBON I can't be bothered with mainstream stuff like this at all as I don't have the time but on that front (mainstream), miss 21st century momma barbie doll of Hector the Reverend of the local town can go lick my balls:

Mainly only 3 questions are relevant here.

(1) Is she brainwashed?

(2) Is she damaged?

(3) Can she change?

For the first, you can mediate that in as much as she has critical thinking.

For the second, you can mediate that depending on the kind of (a) damage (b) consequences that have so far manifested from that. Everyone has some level of damage, so its important that you get as nuanced as possible in understanding A and B.

Women for example comparatively, tend to be more emotional players and men physical players, women with more damage are more likely to be players = https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/60768-twitter-comments/?do=findComment&comment=830123

This goes for both male and females.

In general, don't date the mentally average unless you're mentally average. Otherwise you'll all things being equal be dealing with both brainwashing and damage, and the more average they are the more the brainwashing will be simultaneously damage because its proportionally cognitively difficult to sort through.

Choose to be a good friend instead unless they really prove themselves overtime in both change and genuine emotional investment (which goes to number three). Always remember your boundaries which is why you should always be checking where you can grow on those three questions.

A "good" woman will think progressively, challenge your stances with insightful questions, be honest about their difficulties in interactions and forward in areas where they think an interaction is going well. The same with a male, this is in line with a (positive) feedback loop interpretation of relationships, to support the growth of consciousness a "good" male and female interaction will not only be something that supports the biological biases of the sex and personality of the character but also one that moves the narratives of consciousness forward to the next stage.

By this standard, there aren't too many "good" men or females and everything is rather pre-intellectualism, pre-intuitive and post sexual selection so just keep that in mind when making your discriminations. Realising that the social market is a complex geometry of pre and post selections depending on the genetic development and life growth of the individuals. Comparing demographics makes this self-evident, the same too in comparing evolutionary eras, which makes for comparing where social selection will be in the future rather simple and straight forward, eventually we will have a post intellectual and post creative stage across the human population which dramatically changes the inferences that can be drawn from those three questions relative to this present era in human history.

[Dumuzzi]

it's not a Western thing, more of a rich country thing. The situation is even worse in rich Asian countries, such as Singapore, Japan or Hong Kong. 

In Singapore, women demand the 5 Cs (Cash, Credit Card, Car, Country Club membership, Condo), or they won't even talk to you. China is the same, pretty much. A lot of it has to do with a global gender imbalance and unfavourable demographics. There simply aren't enough young women in rich countries and there are far too many older guys chasing them around, who are usually wealthier too. Look at any rich country age tree and you can immediately see where the problem lies. 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Dumuzzi said:

Look at any rich country age tree yourself and you can immediately see where the problem lies.

 

[Username]

@MrBON If some asked you to write a list of you requirements it would be also long and hard to fulfil. Your issue is that you believe that those expectations really matter.

[Nahm]

On 2/2/2021 at 5:45 PM, MrBON said:

Life is hard as fuck for guys, deal with it. Become strong and own the world. That is basically what the replies people get on these kind of posts.

You sir are more right than the wright brothers. All that’s missing is a single success story. 

The perspectives you’re experiencing don’t feel good to you. Folks are simple, and like you, they want to feel amazing. They’re attracted to people who have what they want - they want to feel amazing - woman are mindlessly attracted to men who feel amazing. You don’t need to do the first thing about pick up etc, woman literally approach you. Mindless. Feeling driven, right under the nose. Busy, thinking. Like you, like you used to I believe. 

Let go of perspectives that don’t feel good to you. 

Put love into your life by creating the life you actually want to create, instead of looking for love in experience, or looking for love to come to you in any fashion or form.  Love don’t work that way. 

Incredibly paradoxical, you are seeing through it. Nice. 

20 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

Just giving my honest opinion since I dated a western guy. 

For a western man, nothing is ever enough. No woman on planet earth can truly satisfy them. Maybe for a night, but not more. 

That's why the high divorce rate. The women get fed up after a while with such pressure

It's not within the divine feminine to take so much from a man

Men ya, calm yar tits! 

Confucius say “seek guy to fill whole, attract guy to fill hole.”   

(Jk. Happily married 20 yrs Midwest guy say that)

[Preety_India]

@Nahm ok. Do one thing. Put yourself into a clone machine. Produce 4 billion clones of you and send them all over your country and the rest of the globe. 

Now that's the greatest compliment a woman can pay to a man. 

 

[Dumuzzi]

51 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

 

Touché.

 

But I was talking in generic terms, not specifically about myself. I have no interest in participating the dating meat grinder myself, but it is a market and it thus responds to supply and demand pressures. If you visit a country like the Philippines or the Ukraine, there is an oversupply of young, eligible women and a shortage of eligible bachelors. In rich countries it is the other way round. Most of it is due to migration patterns and demographics.

[MrBON]

@Preety_India 75 percent of divorces are filed by women in the USA so you are factually wrong about western guys being more difficult to please. A person that is pleased will not file for divorce. 

@Leo Gura You are basically telling to a guy from Nigeria that is complaining about Nigeria being poor to stop crying and try to make yourself wealthy. Good advice but Nigeria is still poor. You are saying Nigeria is not poor. He never claimed that he will not try to become wealthy, he just said that he finds Nigeria poor. 

Edited February 11, 2021 by MrBON

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@Nahm ok. Do one thing. Put yourself into a clone machine. Produce 4 billion clones of you and send them all over your country and the rest of the globe. 

Now that's the greatest compliment a woman can pay to a man. 

Well that’s just beautiful ? thank you. That’d be really boring for Me though. As in, ‘the way’ is through Me. Not Nahm. Not some married dude in the Midwest. The Me. The only Me. The real Me. The Me directly experiencing now. Can’t get that sweet Me from a you. That’s just a belief. That’s seeking, essentially. It works out perfectly every single time without fail, in it’s sending Me back to, Me. 

Questionable video btw. My wife is my best friend. We are sensitive, and that is Me. That is not “girly”. Can’t find Me in anyone. Can only be Me. We, Me, and it is ineffable. 

[Lyubov]

14 hours ago, Dumuzzi said:

it's not a Western thing, more of a rich country thing. The situation is even worse in rich Asian countries, such as Singapore, Japan or Hong Kong. 

In Singapore, women demand the 5 Cs (Cash, Credit Card, Car, Country Club membership, Condo), or they won't even talk to you. China is the same, pretty much. A lot of it has to do with a global gender imbalance and unfavourable demographics. There simply aren't enough young women in rich countries and there are far too many older guys chasing them around, who are usually wealthier too. Look at any rich country age tree and you can immediately see where the problem lies. 

I think he is over blowing this problem a bit but he does make a somewhat true vague point. It will be more difficult to date if there is a gender imbalance depending on which side you are on. Men in Europe and Russia post WWII basically were treated like princess and baby boys by women and had it super easy then due to there being way less of them after the war. In some countries today it is reversed now. It's just life these days for some men. My heart goes out to men in India and China. Guys in the US really have very little to complain about compared to how those guys have it. You're going to have to work and grow from this disadvantage or become a twitch viewer / gamer. The choice is yours. 

Edited February 12, 2021 by Lyubov