Another date, another fail

[kras]

Ok, i am already pissed of, another first date with a new girl which went nowhere. 

I am so sick of trying to escalate and its doesn't fucking work.

Girl had high interest because she invited me on a date as soon as we matched on tinder, we went on a car date, driving couple of locations and then i parked on a private place. We talked for like 20 minutes i tried to kiss her, and she gave me her cheek ad giggled. 

I took her to her home and before she left the car she said i would want to hang out again and sorry for rejecting your kiss, i am not doing kiss on a first date.

I am really frustrated now because this is maybe the fifth time this month with five different girls on a five different first dates. 

I don't know, i don't have any fucking motivation to go on a dates anymore, i am really pissed of.

 

PS: I know all the theory.

 

 

Edited January 30, 2021 by kras

[Preety_India]

You will need tons of patience in this. 

 

[hyruga]

Forget about most of the theory. What worked in the past may not work now.

Women know about most of the PUA techniques. 

You should focus more on relationships than sex.

Edited January 31, 2021 by hyruga

[WonderSeeker]

Reframe this thread as "Another date, another step closer to success." 

Get some paper and write about a few things. Inquire about what's holding you back. How's your energy in your interactions? Is it giving? Are the dates too planned? Are you putting pressure on yourself just for that one moment when you want to kiss her? 

Good luck.

[Chew211]

Not pushy far enough and/or your escalation game needs work. 

One thing that works for me is that I am doing low key touching as we're hanging out, and as we talk I'm caressing her legs and stuff, and sexualizing the touching more and more. All this while talking or watching a movie. Then I start kissing the neck and fondling. And then the actual kiss, then clothes come off, and didily ensues. 

 

However I only escalation when in isolation where didily can happen. 

[Origins]

@kras I find it humorous you use Tinder for dating. It's pure play in most cases. Analyse the environment and attack rather than just being attacked by the environment, which in your case is on your attention and selection parameters. If you use Tinder for dating that's like going to Mc Donald's and being disappointed, you get what you pay for or in your case, you get in return to the level of your prior thought and future thinking thereon out.

[Sempiternity]

General guide I've seen people go by, is for every 100 girls you ask out 50 will say yes. Out of the 50 only 10 will lead to a connection. Out of that 10, only one will be a keeper. So take 100 asks to get to a keeper. Get used to asking. 

[Roy]

Be patient. When things are meant to happen, things will click and you will feel it.

Stop expecting to be successful with every encounter, you're just gonna disappoint yourself. No guy or girl is good enough to game every other person from the opposite sex. Sometimes people just aren't that compatible. You can know all the theory and do everything "right", that doesn't guarantee shit. If that spark isn't there, it isn't there.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop overthinking and dwelling on any mistakes. Use that time and energy to be working on the next girl, make sense?

Edited January 30, 2021 by Roy

[kras]

I have blind spots which i cant see...

I am in a stage in my life which i want to improve this aspect of it. 

[Leo Gura]

No kiss? So the fuck what? Carry on business as usual.

P.S. Driving around on a first date is terrible.

[kras]

39 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

 

P.S. Driving around on a first date is terrible.

What would be the best scenario for a first date, if we assume that there is no lockdown(i already know that restoraunt is a bad idea)

[mmKay]

@kras Find a cool place in 5 min walk time from your house. Have fun with her there and SEED the idea of an excuse to go to your house, like mention you have  cute dog, you feel like having a smoothie, you have something to show herx, etc. 

Later refer back to that idea and go actually do it. ( hence " Seeding" ) 

Then you are home with her . Vibe , have fun and you can take it as far as you feel plausible in the moment. 

[MrBON]

@Leo Gura Well if all the bars and restaurants are closed and you cannot be outside because it is cold and raining then what ideas would you propose? Doubt girls come at someone"s place on first date that easily.

[Pudgey]

@kras That proves you don't know ALL the theory or applying bad theory. Unless you have terrible logistical issues (which I do have), the first date should be back to your place, which is the MOST ideal and is preferred, even without a lockdown.

@MrBON You obviously don't know women- there are many guys in a private group taking girls back to their place. Even with my bad logistics, I get invited to their house. 

[Bando]

@Kras It sounds like your relatively new to dating if your concerned about getting a kiss lol, sometimes it could be something your doin wrong, other times it may be completely out of your control. If you've only been on a dozen or so dates you have such little reference experiences you won't know which is which.

Also not every woman needs to kiss you on the first date, thats what you want, most women dont want to sexuality commit to a man if its the first time their hanging out together unless you screen them out properly. You should work on building a sexual connection with your girl, making it more man to woman, being relaxed, seductive, ect. The very fact she said you she wants to see again even after you kissed her obviously shows she's still interested. Think of a date as "slowly boiling the pot" 

I dont know if your using Tinder or online dating but if you want more dtf girls you need a more polarizing profile, cast your net to a smaller audience with a bigger payoff.

Join a pickup forum or reddit community and post your date reports on there and get feed back from actual people who go on dates, This would be your best bet on moving forward.