The internet messed my mind up

[sleep]

To give some background information, I'm 20 years old. I've been using the internet since I was like 6. I've seen some ugly stuff, and I guess I just got used to it.

I think I'm really desentitized from stuff other people find very disturbing. It's not as if I enjoy the suffering of others, but I feel like I don't have the responses I should due to some of the content I've been exposed to. Think of anything fucked up, like seeing people being tortured or raped, and although I'll probably feel bad for the person and have a desire to stop their suffering, but I won't have a "repulsion" response, I can just keep looking at it no problem. 

I don't know if this is something that should be addressed or how to even go about it. I even have trouble putting it into words, not because it's emotionally difficult, but it's hard to be precise with it. I don't think I lack empathy, on the contrary, but I do feel as though my responses to the suffering of other people have been shaped in a negative way by the internet, and I guess I would like to be better in this regard.

[Preety_India]

Practice loving Metta meditation. 

 

[sleep]

21 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Practice loving Metta meditation. 

 

Thanks for the recommendation. I've actually been doing that lately. Any author or source you recommend?

[Preety_India]

@sleep really good one this one.. 

 

[Nahm]

@sleep

It might not have anything to do with the internet or the content focused on, but the relationship between you & You so to speak, and the dream in you that you want to focus on & create together. Give this a quick read, and listen to this. Then this, then this. Love to hear what you think.  

This is a meditation specific to what you described. 

Go for walks, spend time in nature. Get away for a while if you can, away from your norms. Get something cathartic on the calendar. A retreat, float tank, or something like reiki, or a massage. Something newish can be a fun & easy way to change focus, wake up a bit and change a pattern effortlessly, inspired. 

Watch for the trap of believing you need something so you can change the viewership. By spending time without screens, being, good feeling, floats automatically. It’s not per se something you can even do. You’re intrinsically good. Just focusing that goodness in a direction that is leaving you uninspired.

Also consider your power as a creator & as a contributor, which is so inherent, effortless and consistent in all of us it’s actually super easy to miss. If the creators of those videos had no viewership, they’d have no means to continue. You hold more power than you might realize. 

Truly, you’re loved in all cases, no matter what you do. You literally can’t get it wrong. That love can feel weighty when we’re not giving our best though. You’re the present brother, the gift. Open it up. It’s good. Super good. You’ll be amazed by what you got in you.

[sleep]

@Nahm Thank you for your great answer. It'll take me some time to get through the stuff you posted to look into, and to try the meditation. I'm kind of busy right now. I'll get back to you once I'm done, if you're still interested.

[Nahm]

@sleep

Godspeed. Yes, love to hear back from ya. ?

[Lyubov]

I can actually relate to this somewhat. I was allowed the internet when I started high school many many years ago and around that time one is edgy, not wise and curious. It wasn't a pleasurable feeling of enjoyment seeing disturbing content of people being killed, but a sort of fear/shock, mixed with curiosity/confusion wanting to be explored which often times lead to a feeling of shame and worry about if I felt bad/repulsed enough or why it made me feel curious. I've unravelled a lot of this over the years and feel much better about it. It still bothers/disgusts me a little sometimes to think about how awful some people have treated others before. 

Edited February 1, 2021 by Lyubov

[sleep]

@Nahm Hey, I took a look at the videos you posted and the link. I liked the article, I tried the sentence-completion thing and got some stuff out of it that left me thinking. I got some useful stuff out of the videos too, although most of it seemed like fluff to me (no offense). Maybe I'm too empiric for an old lady talking about the inner source and the law of attraction to do anything for me, although I still found some points I consider worthwhile to consider and apply. Also I found it curious that the audience is all women, is there something about their gender that makes them attracted to that kind of stuff? Not to sound sexist or anything but it's hard not to notice. 

Anyways thanks for the info and sorry for taking too long to look at it, I was busy with some school work. Have a good day or afternoon or whatever.

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, sleep said:

Also I found it curious that the audience is all women, is there something about their gender that makes them attracted to that kind of stuff?

Glad to hear some of it was useful. I added an explanation below that emotional scale today that might be more clarifying & approachable. Appreciate any feedback on how it could be even more helpful, thanks! 

Why women, I guess men are too empiric.  Have a great one as well! 

[sleep]

@Nahm It's a cool article, I'll try the acknowledging and accepting of emotions it mentioned. I feel like I'm not really the intended audience though, don't really know what all the vibration stuff means. I also don't really agree with the emotional scale, I don't think people's current mood move in a linear path like that, imo it's a lot more messy, although I haven't really tried applying it.

I don't consider myself a really "spitirual person", and so a lot of the article doesn't resonate with me. Perhaps this is a shortcoming. Maybe as I advance more in this form of thought, or whatever it is, stuff like your article will make more sense to me. Until then I'm not sure how to offer any valuable feedback though, sorry. 

[Nahm]

@sleep

That’s valuable feedback, much appreciated thanks!

Any thoughts come to mind on what could’ve been there that would’ve been most helpful? 

[sleep]

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

Any thoughts come to mind on what could’ve been there that would’ve been most helpful? 

Not sure if you included it and I didn't see it, but maybe what to do if you're feeling stuck in a certain level of the scale

[Nahm]

@sleep

Appreciating the feedback, thank you. To help me with what to tweak to make it better... do you mean, what to do when ‘stuck’ as in how to reach for a thought to express the next higher emotion on the scale...or do you mean ‘stuck’ more like just not ready to express the next higher emotion? 

Do you think it would be a good idea for me to put a very bare bones, stripped down version too? No ‘vibration’ verbiage, no humor, etc...? 

If so, what should I name that version? Any ideas? 

Thanks!

 

[sleep]

@Nahm I mean like how to deal with the feelings of being stuck and how not to let it affect your practice. The problem with working with delimited paths like those is that a lot of times people feel that they are not advancing as quickly as they'd like or not advancing at all, which creates feelings of frustration and a loop of diminished progress as a result. I've seen this happen with a friend and meditation, he was following a ten-stage progress path, and since he felt like he was not advancing at all he was frustrated, which in turn resulted in an even more slow progress. Not to say that having a system like that isn't helpful (it is), but it can also be counterproductive in certain cases. As much as it is helpful to know where you are in terms of progress, that awareness can also come with many problems. 

And as to whether to create another version or not, I don't really know. I mean, stuff like vibrations and whatnot can be off-putting for people who don't have a background in spiritual stuff like me, but if it serves a function and is true then I don't think it should be omitted. Maybe just the clarification that even if you're ambivalent about the mechanisms which make the scale work, it can still improve your life if applied. As for the humor I don't really have a problem with it. Maybe rather than a stripped down version, you could create something like a cheat sheet? Like some kind of infograph that you can use throughout the practice to remind yourself of key points for progress without having to read the entire article again.