Authentic Vs Egoic Desires

[Andraz]

How does one tell authentic and egoic desires apart when it comes to finding their life purpose?
Let's take this very simple example. An athlete enjoys a certain sport. They do it because they feel in the moment doing it. Is that an egoic desire and therefore not the appropriate life purpose for them?
Does Leo's life purpose course answer questions like this one?
How did the course help you personally? 

[aurum]

Key distinction for me is "does the reward come in the present  or in the future"? In other words, are you doing because it's like play or because it's some sort of means to an end?

You have to be careful though, because every career or life purpose is going to have some of both. For instance, you might like playing music but also are interested in monetary rewards. Or you might like playing music, but hate setting up your band equipment for a show. The point is just to get it generally right, not perfect.

Really just look for things you're interested in. It sounds cheesy, but if you were a kid with 0 obligations, what would you do right now? I'd be doing this.

[FindingPeace]

I see authentic desires as those which don't have 'conditions' to them. They are unconditional. It's difficult to explain what I mean by this, but consider how many desires we have in life that come with conditions attached. 'I only want it if..or  because'.

Egoic desires usually come with some conditions attached. They are usually influenced by some external factor, often something very subtle and sunconscious. Like social norms or expectations, perceptions of what other's think etc or some way of projecting an image or status so as to get a reward of self-validation.

Authentic desires will come from within. Independently of any external influence or circumstance. They are completely personal. They ultimately have nothing to do with anyone or anything else. Even though they may involve others. The desire is independent and unconditional. There is no if or because attached to them. They just are.

 

[Pav]

One thing which may be helpful when determining whether your desire is authentic or egoic is to observe the way in which the desire is motivated. Egoic desires will be much more motivated by what Maslow called 'deficiency motivation', while authentic desires are motivated by 'Being motivation'.

Deficiency motivation is driven primarily by lack; it is only concerned with the end goal, the process or journey are not valued in their own right and will likely not be enjoyed at all. If you're motivation resembles a carrot and stick model it is probably egoically driven.

Being motivation is driven much more from love, enjoyment, and fascination which arises simply because the activity is inherently valued for no other reason greater than itself. The activity is enjoyed intrinsically for its own sake, as an end in itself, not merely as a means to some other end. Being motivation is different from deficiency motivation in that there are no climaxes or stray moments of triumph, rather the desire cannot be satiated and is a steady upward growth; "the more one gets, the more one wants". 

An example of Being motivation is the desire learn more about the universe, of people, or of yourself, not for the purpose of obtaining a degree or being better able to influence people for money or sex, but rather simple because you find those topics intrinsically fascinating. Another is the development of a creative skill in whichever field, simply because of the joy and beauty inherent in developing that creativity.

Edited October 5, 2016 by Mat Pav

[Deep]

On 10/4/2016 at 0:12 PM, Andraz said:

How does one tell authentic and egoic desires apart when it comes to finding their life purpose?
 

I think one way to tell is if the desire is naturally coming up. You don't have to seek approval externally. You also don't want anything in return but you do it anyway. 

[FindingPeace]

Most inauthentic desires are motivated by a sense of fear. This applies to most of the things people do with their lives, not just the big things but the mundane every-day things too. This is fairly easy to prove to yourself. You can pick any thing that you do in life and imagine how you would feel if you didn't do that thing. You'll be surprised at how many things you have fear or anxiety about if you didn't do certain things. Motives that result in validation, approval, security are ultimate fear based. And if it isn't fear then its the pursuit of stimulation - the avoidance of boredom, negative emotions and even just 'neutral' emotions. Searching for a fix. But that is really just a fear of emptiness, ultimately.

Authentic desires will not be motivated by any of these things. Not by fear, not by a feeling of emptyness. They will be spontaneous and natural. But that's not an easy thing to explain. From my own experience all I can say is that you can feel the difference between an inauthentic, ego-driven, desire and an authentic one. There is a certain clarity when you have an authentic motivation.

 

[Tancrede Pouyat]

I've been learning a lot about life purpose, I've been learning a lot about learning and teaching themselves. I really geeked out on this in 2016. I've also learned a lot about business and Internet marketing. I can bring insights from all this and tell you : there is no surefire way to know this (hence the diversity of responses).

The most fundamental insight I've had is simple : Vision. 

Do you have a clear picture of this world being different in at least one specific way ? Especially how have people changed their behavior ? And what kind of awareness do they have ?

I could go on asking questions about your vision for hours. My point is : unless your vision is about this kind of stuff, there's a strong likelihood this is an egoic desire.

In Internet marketing, I learned that there are 3 things that make money : Teaching about 1) Business/Money, 2) Relationships, and 3) Health/Fitness. Those are egoic desires unless you see this kind of self-improvement as necessary for you to accomplish your vision that's bigger than yourself.

Having this kind of vision really helps you change your life around. If you have a great vision and can see how what you strive for fits into the big picture, then you're probably not looking at an egoic desire. It took me like 6-9 months to come up with my vision, but very well worth it. 

[Flare]

 @Andraz As "FindingPeace" already mentioned, it comes within. In my opinion thats right, even though I'd say it simple is. I don't know if Jesus or Buddha ever really appeared on this planet, but they're a great example on finding your authentic life purpose -> they simple are. Buddha and Jesus simply were themselves in such a complete way, that they were viewed as gods etc. (See Mooji on this topic, actually i stole that idea from him). In addition the life purpose should be about contribution. Getting, even wanting to find you life purpose will always be your ego. Always. There is no way to "find" your life purpose - the ego want's to find it (even the "authentic" purpose). Which in fact is alright, we as humans need a thing called ego. 

As Franz of Assisi said: 

"What you are looking for, is already what you are looking from."

@Tancrede Pouyat I don't know if you're right by saying that these 3 things are in general are really egoistic. As an example you could take RSD, obviously some instructors and most of the people watching are driven by a heavy ego. But if you look at Tyler I completely disagree. It's a nice cluster that he's able to earn  his living or even more with this, but seeing his history, there would be ways his ego could have driven him to do even more money based stuff in addition to that, he does take place in the theory from Maslow which makes self-actualization possible in the first place. Even though it might be my ego wanting to argument on this topic.

Edited October 31, 2016 by Flare

[Tancrede Pouyat]

@Flare You and I are in complete agreement here.