Girl Suggested Friendship With Benefits!

[Canadian]

Hi everyone

 

Today I had a conversation with a girl who I like and she suggested me a friendship with benefits. Well, I really don't love her , I just like her and that's exactly what I think I want. I mean, I don't need her as a girlfriend as soon as I kiss and fuck her. But I amn't experienced enough in this content. Does it mean she will have sex with many other guys ? Is it like open relationship? Can someone explain what kind of relationship is it?

 

I was talking to her and I told to her that she would be my girlfriend or we wouldn't talk anymore because I hate friendzone.  That's when she told me  to be friends with benefits...

 

[Tancrede Pouyat]

Friends With Benefits (abbreviated fwb) means you're friends and you have sex. You both can have sex with other people, even have girlfriend/boyfriend relationships with other people.

Things can go in many directions with this type of relationships. I encourage you to learn more about this, do some research, then you'll be able to decide if you want to be fwb with her.

[Jhonny]

To be Honest. I felt a little jealous when I first read that. Wow. Means no Restrictions of relationship. Man. 

[Canadian]

@Tancrede Pouyat Now I get it,  I said yes because I honestly don't love her. So she can have even a boyfriend but who cares right?

 

@Jhonny it seems good but I've never had such experience before. I'm gonna try. 

 

I have a weird feeling when I imagine others can fuck her to...  

[aurum]

You're friends that also fuck each other.

I've been in this situation before and don't recommend it. A lot of times either someone starts getting feelings or the friendship becomes awkward. I have pulled it off, but it's really just not worth the hassle.

Much better is just to draw the line in the sand. Either you're platonic friends, fuck buddies having sex purely for fun, or you're moving towards a relationship. It's a tough boundary to draw, but you're better off in the end for making the hard call.

[Canadian]

@blazed Of course I'm gonna use condom.

What did you mean in this sentence? ''let any future girls you might date know about your situation.'' can you be more specific?  Tell future girls who I might date that I've a fwb?

 

@aurum Draw the line? I still don't get it. it's just a friendship and I fuck her for fun,that's it. I'm gonna use condom if it's a discussion. Do we need anymore line?

[reez]

@Canadian We humans don't work that way

When you have sex with somebody (physical contact overall). Your brain releases substances that will make you like a person you're interacting with even more. Which means purely biological that it's hard to be FWB or anything as that without developing feelings for the other partner, or that partner for you.

So what @aurum  meant was that you draw the line damn early and make it clear. Either you stay friends (no benefits), become FWB or you might eventually get in a relationship if it feels right for both of you

[ajasatya]

my recommendation is to use your sexual energy for something else instead. meditation, body work, consciousness expansion etc.

if you have sex just for satisfaction, you will miss the main point of it, which is connection. deep connection.

[Canadian]

@iago iriarte arhatha    I wanna know about more about sex because my sexual life isn't successsfull enough so far, that's why I'm taking this opportunity.

[aurum]

On 10/4/2016 at 6:10 PM, Canadian said:

@aurum Draw the line? I still don't get it. it's just a friendship and I fuck her for fun,that's it. I'm gonna use condom if it's a discussion. Do we need anymore line?

I'd recommend further boundaries, i.e being either ONLY friends or ONLY someone you consistently have sex with. It's just not worth mixing the two in my opinion.

[Canadian]

1 hour ago, aurum said:

 

On 10/4/2016 at 6:10 PM, Canadian said:

@aurum Draw the line? I still don't get it. it's just a friendship and I fuck her for fun,that's it. I'm gonna use condom if it's a discussion. Do we need anymore line?

I'd recommend further

@reez

 

So basically, you guys both think that friendship with benefits is very dangerous cuz one of us may fall in love?

[ajasatya]

10 hours ago, Canadian said:

So basically, you guys both think that friendship with benefits is very dangerous cuz one of us may fall in love?

what's "falling in love"?

going into more details, the problem appears when your happiness starts to depend on that external factor, that external satisfaction. you can diagnose this situation by paying attention to your thoughts. if you start demanding things from her (even just mentally) it means that you're starting to create your own suffering.

[aurum]

19 hours ago, Canadian said:

@reez

 

So basically, you guys both think that friendship with benefits is very dangerous cuz one of us may fall in love?

Love is a deceptive word. Let's just say "emotional attachment".

[Canadian]

@iago iriarte arhatha @aurum Alright let's call love emotional attachment. Do you think one of us can become emotionally attached? just by friendship with benefit...

[ajasatya]

1 hour ago, Canadian said:

@iago iriarte arhatha @aurum Alright let's call love emotional attachment. Do you think one of us can become emotionally attached? just by friendship with benefit...

of course it's possible. whatever happens, you have to experience it for yourself. my words are worth nothing. do it

[Canadian]

@iago iriarte arhatha Is it possible even for males? Usually girls are the ones who get emotionally attached...

[ajasatya]

@Canadian i observe 6 situations

• the guy totally objectifies the girl and the experience is quite superficial. he does not become attached to her
• the guy respects the girl and the experience is a little bit deeper. because he's pretty mature, he does not become attached
• the guy respects the girl and the experience is a little bit deeper. he does become attached but he is not aware of it yet
• the guy respects the girl and has a true admiration for her. he does become attached and it's easy to see it
• the guy respects the girl and has a true admiration for her. because he's VERY mature, he does not become attached to her
• the guy idolizes the girl. he will be attached for sure

basically, the more we (men) actually admire the girl and the less mature we are, the more attached we will be.

[Canadian]

10 minutes ago, iago iriarte arhatha said:

@Canadian i observe 6 situations

• the guy totally objectifies the girl and the experience is quite superficial. he does not become attached to her
• the guy respects the girl and the experience is a little bit deeper. because he's pretty mature, he does not become attached
• the guy respects the girl and the experience is a little bit deeper. he does become attached but he is not aware of it yet
• the guy respects the girl and has a true admiration for her. he does become attached and it's easy to see it
• the guy respects the girl and has a true admiration for her. because he's VERY mature, he does not become attached to her
• the guy idolizes the girl. he will be attached for sure

basically, the more we (men) actually admire the girl and the less mature we are, the more attached we will be.

 

As I said, I'm unexperienced in this field so far. So tell me, what are the chances to stay on the first situation?

the guy totally objectifies the girl and the experience is quite superficial. he does not become attached to her-on this one, because I just wanna stay here, that's it...

[ajasatya]

@Canadian i cannot tell you. it cannot be told. you have to experience it and learn from your direct experience.

you are your own knower.

if someone comes by with a broken heart, it's possible to get help in this forum.

but if you're asking us how to live your life, we're going to tell you to live it fully.

[Canadian]

@iago iriarte arhatha I know, I was just curious how often it happens when a guy is successful in this kind of relationship.

anyway, thank you