Does doing something this crazy actually work to attract women?

[Gesundheit]

51 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I perceive this is as socially unacceptable and as a legal offense.

Showing your dick without consent is NOT ok.

Too much ego going on there.

51 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

It's a pity you are yet again challenging this boundary.

Huh? I didn't show you my or that guy's thing. You literally just saw some people reacting positively to something you judge negatively. The rest is your ego.

Edited January 30, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Gesundheit]

@Etherial Cat People are different is the point. I'm definitely not telling you to change.

[WonderSeeker]

13 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Brutal! lol

Btw guys, why is both public nudity okay in certain places and why is okay for any woman to flash her private parts in a party or out in the streets, but it's not okay when a guy flashes his dick to other people?

Idk man, I've never seen a woman flash. Have you? If flashing your dick is out of integrity with who you are, then don't even entertain it. But if it's your cup of tea, then do it. Otherwise, deprogram these beliefs, they're not helpful. 

[TheAlchemist]

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

6 months ago some dude got his dick out in front of me in a park

You must be a special lady.

[Preety_India]

That is so gross. 

Who does that other than a perv? 

If someone did that to me, I'm gonna close my eyes and run to them thar hills. 

Or faint on the ground. 

 

[Preety_India]

I remember Bruce Almighty being my favorite movie. 

 

[Superfluo]

@Etherial Cat Remember, it's all Love...

[Emerald]

14 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

I perceive this is as socially unacceptable and as a legal offense.

For record, 6 months ago some dude got his dick out in front of me in a park and my reaction was far from being pretty.

Showing your dick without consent is NOT ok. 

I rest my case.

It's a pity you are yet again challenging this boundary.

That was when you were on the phone with me! I remember that. 

[Gesundheit]

Look up the naked man episode in himym.

[Hardkill]

21 minutes ago, modmyth said:

I totally empathize with you, but for some reason, I can't imagine this scenario without me laughing at him. (And then hoping that he's not a crazy ax-murdering type. Public creep types usually don't give off that vibe TBH, but sometimes the aggressive can come out of seemingly nowhere.)

What if the guy who was polishing his dick was doing that as part of his nude performance art exhibition?

besides, we know of women who again have flashed their breasts or who have been able to get away with being nude in public.

[Gesundheit]

@Etherial Cat I used to be slightly homophobic in the past due to childhood trauma and religious upbringing. I did shadow work and now I'm neutral about homosexual people.

I'm not saying that is necessarily the case for you, but it could be. You may have had certain bad experiences and memories regarding male sexual behaviors or offence related to sex. If that is the case, then you might find some benefits in doing shadow work.

[Gesundheit]

37 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Please, stop your gaslighting.

I share my experience and expose my vulnerable side in the hopes of offering you something potentially useful, and then you accuse me of gaslighting.

Maturity levels sky-rocketing.

[How to be wise]

55 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

As far as I understand it, that's a bit the original philosophy which led to middle eastern women wearing the veil, initially. 

The reason why Muslims (not just Middle Easterners) wear a veil is to hide their beauty. That’s because sex before marriage is illegal in Islam, so men don’t want to be tempted to ‘fall into sin’. Hence they hide her body. Of course it varies in strictness. Afghan women (under Taliban) hide themselves head to toe, including the face, whilst in Turkey most women don’t even wear the headscarf.

[How to be wise]

2 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

Actually, I was watching this documentary few years ago about Muhammed, and he came out with the idea because a woman's attractiveness was a terrible source of trouble for them (the women) back then.

As a solution for the problem, he suggested them to hide themselves so they could avoid some of the related issues.

Muhammed was a great feminist and progressive guy. He didn't blame women for tempting men with their beauty. He was just pragmatic on the current situation and understood that in this society this was at least a quick fix.

 

Maybe. But the reason why Muslims today force women to cover up, is without doubt the reason I mentioned above.

If the country has lenient laws about sex before marriage, you’ll find women dressed as they want. But if the country punishes it harshly, eg Saudi, Iran, Afghanistan, etc (whipping if you were a virgin, and death if you were ever married), then you will find the women covered completely. The men are doing it to save themselves from punishment, rather than to avoid pleasure.

[How to be wise]

@Etherial Cat Well, you need to remember that the Islamic world is mostly located in the desert, where women would normally wear very little due to the heat. Of course that would make the ‘no sex before marriage’ rule very hard to implement by men! I think that’s why Muslims are more strict about this than other stage Blue societies.

[Gesundheit]

5 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

Of course, if you perceive things that way...

Look. As a solution for a recurring source of trauma which occur to women, you are offering me to do shadow work. I'm not certain that you are realizing that shadow work isn't going to solve the problem. Because the issue doesn't come from me, it comes from a well documented collective pattern where some troubled men pester and harass us sexually. If I am annoyed or even traumatized, it is because I am on recurring basis subject to this form of objectification.

The issue here is not on me. The issue is a problem of education, poor relationship skills and lack of self-awareness.

I know you probably won't like reading this, but I think you're actually gaslighting yourself into a victim's position by not taking the responsibility to acknowledge the power of your own role (your mind) in this dynamic. This happens to many people who identify with the whole trauma & healing narrative that is popular these days. The truth is that most traumas are not external. The internal process of interpretation is often times the actual source. This is a very basic self-help concept, 100% responsibility for everything. Leo says in his videos about responsibility that they're one of the most foundational ones, and he's absolutely right.

You may not like that particular form of behavior, and therefore find it offensive, but that doesn't mean that it is inherently bad or objectifying to women. That means that there's probably a deeper reason why you're interpreting it this way, because it is evident that other women interpret it differently. And you have to accept this fact, because it is a fact that not everyone finds such behaviors offensive or objectifying. It is very likely that your mind is trying to deny the perspectives of others and demonize how they react to the same thing.

It's even more likely that you have had sexual-related abuse/traumatic experiences in the past. What I was suggesting is that you do Shadow Work into that, even though it is absolutely not your fault. The whole point of shadow work is to switch narratives from hurt to empowered. The mind is extremely powerful and deceptive that it will likely spin this against me once again as if I'm trying to hurt you, when in fact I'm trying to help you and empower you. You just don't know how empowered you can be. And I am trying to give you power over your mind and life. Why? Because it's unlikely that those behaviors that you don't like will stop in this lifetime, if ever. So you gotta deal with reality as it is instead of just being resentful about it, because resentment is an inferior emotion that won't get you anywhere except stuck in a victim's position. I understand if this may be a hard pill to swallow, and I'm not saying that you have to do what I'm saying. I'm just showing you what's possible (from experience) and the rest is up to you.

 

6 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

Quick recap for context:  this "story" between you and I, starts with how you're giving as an advice cold sending dick picks to numerous women on the internet. Which, you get plenty of negative feedback from. Yet, you stick to your position that it is ok and you'll stop the day when you'll get into trouble for that.

Then you tag both elevated and I on this thread, trying to prove the point that we are prude and showing your dick works fine and doesn't cause any harm.

In your first reply, you're accusing me twice of having ego issues in an epic holier than thou vibe like you're a saint.

In your second post, you offer me to do shadow work, insisting that there is a problem with me.

In your third post, you are reproaching me to not comply with your narrative and not to respect your sensitivity.

Maybe... just try to follow your own advices regarding shadow work and stop insisting that you've got stuff to teach me. I'm just not feeling encline to follow your leadership.

Don't try to spin narratives on me here. I did not advise anyone to send their pics. The context was different and I was offering an experiment to prove a point. I have no obligation to explain why I said what I said because it's not illegal or against forum guidelines, so that's just on you.

Prude? Again, your mind creating narratives. And yes, absolutely, it doesn't cause any harm unless you want it to (unconsciously).

And I still do think that it's an ego problem. I don't judge the ego, so there's no holier than thou or anything like that on my side. It's just the cold truth that you have an ego around these issues, which is why it's manifesting in negative judgements, resentment, and possibly even fear. If you overcome the ego, you will overcome all of that.

Finally, I absolutely don't care whether you apply my advice or not, nor do I actually care whether you actually benefit from it. But we're on a personal development forum, and I'm gonna keep offering personal development advice as long as I'm here. If you don't want to develop yourself in certain areas, that's fine, but don't come at me again and say that I am gaslighting you because I will not take that lightly and I will expose the unconscious ego behind this spinning narrative behavior. Instead, just say that you are not interested in developing yourself in this particular area, or don't say anything at all. This is my ego speaking here, and I acknowledge and embrace it. I could easily play the same game you're playing and appeal to a certain trauma & healing narrative, that you're being verbally abusive by calling me a gaslighter, but that would not do me any good, and it would probably make you even more defensive, which would defeat the whole point of my advice.

Before you reply, if you're going to, remember the context here is personal development. This is not a victim's space for airing complaints, nor is it a show off competition for who knows more, nor is it a hierarchy of leadership and followership. Get your expectations right before you go around spreading narratives.

[Leo Gura]

[Gesundheit]

@Etherial Cat I will say this frankly, and for the last time, because sugar-coating won't make any difference, as you distort everything I say and interpret it wrong.

I did not blame you. You blamed me for trying to help you, which is what victims do. You are stuck in a victim's mindset. And on top of that, you project blame onto me because of your ego, to point your finger at me, instead of turning inwards and reflecting on what I'm saying, so that you can avoid responsibility and stay stuck, which is completely fine by me, as long as you don't throw your BS at me. It makes zero difference to me whether or not you realize what I'm saying here. It's your life, and you're free to lead it however you want. I wanted to help you, and now I've given up. There hadn't been any fruitful conversation between the two of us from the moment I've joined this forum. There's probably a gap or a mismatch between us, and I'm not interested in fixing it anymore. Deceive yourself however you want, do whatever you want to do, and be whoever you want to be. But don't throw your BS at me because I will not tolerate it.

You are a victim, and you blame others for your own problems. That's the harsh truth, like it or not. I've said everything that I had to say, and provided all the essential information for you to break out of that mindset. If you don't find my advice helpful, have the dignity to just move on without casting your fears/blame onto me. This is a personal development forum, and I am giving personal development advice. Others have been doing the same thing in less direct ways but you're refusing to listen.

Now I'm outta here.

[Preety_India]

@Etherial Cat  it's something that a lot of people do here, they will call you a victim mindset immediately at the very mention of what you see wrong with the society, it's a dirty tactic of deflection.. Rationalization of bad and hurtful things. Lack of responsibility for bad behavior. 

It's similar to how the right wing projects that the left is doing but does it the themselves. They will blame the left for the violation of free speech when they themselves do it. 

Such people exhibit victim player behaviors themselves to escape being called out on BS, by projecting victim hood on real victims of abuse, violence, it's so easy to blame a victim than bring a systemic change. 

It's pure gaslighting and demonizing someone's real victimhood and then they turn around and act like they're trying to help, basically it's similar to concern trolling and manipulation. 

Btw, I'm watching you being gaslighted throughout this thread. I'm sorry about it. 

You deserve better treatment from people on here. 

And you're one brave and strong lady. I admire how you take on this blatant  gaslighting with so much courage. 

My respect. 

 

Edited February 2, 2021 by Preety_India