Hate,Anger,Resentment towards a girl

[kras]

I have very strong negative feeling towards a girl who was jerking me around and playing with my feelings. I am over her right now, but i hate her, when i think about her i am becoming very angry.

I tried forgiveness but it just work for a while, and then those negative feelings come back. 

I cant and i dont want to forgive, but i dont want to hold on to those negative feelings either.

 

 

[Recursoinominado]

2 minutes ago, kras said:

I cant and i dont want to forgive, but i dont want to hold on to those negative feelings either.

If you think you can't and don't want to, there is nothing we can say to change that.

Take responsibility for your feelings. 

[SamC]

17 minutes ago, kras said:

I have very strong negative feeling towards a girl who was jerking me around and playing with my feelings. I am over her right now, but i hate her, when i think about her i am becoming very angry.

I tried forgiveness but it just work for a while, and then those negative feelings come back. 

I cant and i dont want to forgive, but i dont want to hold on to those negative feelings either.

 

 

Let yourself feel your emotions. Feel that you don't want to forgive + the resistance towards feeling it.

Emotions are not dangerous - only thinking make it so.

 

Edited January 24, 2021 by SamC

[Preety_India]

Feel those emotions. Don't reject them. 

Show a lot of anger against her. Imagine you're yelling at her. 

Show her in your mind how much it hurt. 

I have a lot of anger against this ex dude bf who played with my emotions. 

So I throw my  anger at him in my mind everyday, it sounds absurd but it heals me and helps me forget all the hurt and pain.. 

I threw a glass at a wall after I broke up with him. My emotions were intense and I let him know that. 

Bottling the emotions is of no use. 

Now I remind myself everyday that I'll always be better than him and that he was a piece of shit and I deserve better. 

 

Edited January 24, 2021 by Preety_India

[kras]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Feel those emotions. Don't reject them. 

Show a lot of anger against her. Imagine you're yelling at her. 

Show her in your mind how much it hurt. 

I have a lot of anger against this ex dude bf who played with my emotions. 

So I throw my  anger at him in my mind everyday, it sounds absurd but it heals me and helps me forget all the hurt and pain.. 

I threw a glass at a wall after I broke up with him. My emotions were intense and I let him know that. 

Bottling the emotions is of no use. 

Now I remind myself everyday that I'll always be better than him and that he was a piece of shit and I deserve better. 

 

Hey, when i think about it, very often i find myself in my mind thinking that kind of scenarios where i put her on her place. 

Thanks for the comment.

[kras]

2 hours ago, neutralempty said:

She will not be able to understand your perspective any time soon. all you can do is work on not letting those emptions get in your way too much.

you don't have to abandon resentment, just don't let it constantly push you.

I completely cut contact with this girl, i dont want her i my life. I just beat myself up about how i would let her treat me like shit.

[kras]

What if i just tell her that straight in her face what i think about her, what piece of shit i think she is. I feel i would feel better then.

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, kras said:

What if i just tell her that straight in her face what i think about her, what piece of shit i think she is. I feel i would feel better then.

You will simply drag it. It's no point.. 

Just forget her and never bring her thought. Defeat her in your mind.. 

[Vibroverse]

Forget about it. 

[Barbara]

I wouldn't advise you to feed those revenge thoughts. 

Feeding them would only make them bigger. It's counterintuitive since you feel like acting on them, but they'll never go away if you do so.

In my opinion, you should let them rise and face them. In any circumstance repress them. But don't let them operate in shadow. Meaning, be conscious of every single one of the thoughts you have towards this girl. Write them if needed. Then, after bringing them to the light, face them. Take responsibility. For this part, I always remember Buda's words. "If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it to whom then does it belong?" So disidentify with the person who that girl hurt. Cultivate self-love here. Don't let others shape your day nor decide what you are. 

Accept the past and work for the future. 

With the knowledge you had, you did the best you could. If this is not enough for you, learn more to grow yourself and prevent something like this happens to you again. Learn about self love, self esteem, self image, meditation, how to be present, how to be unbothered by other people's behaviors. Suffering is an amazing window to growth. 

Warm regards

[Vibroverse]

That girl is your own self dude, your ideas about her are your ideas about her. 

[kras]

Thanks for the comments!