Emotional release

[caveman]

Anyone else know that feeling of "I'm not feeling all of my body"? Like a certain numbness behind you, or above you? That makes your perception a bit dull and heavy? Like your repressing something without knowing that you are doing so?

Like the right side of my head, my face, my jaw and shoulders feel very very tense, almost like they're filled with concrete and about to pop.

My arms, lower body and back feels foggy, numb, like nothing.

Other times i feel like the third eye position tingling very fast for short bursts.

Using a form of shamanic breathing and sedona method for about a few years and it works because i have been feeling ever so lighter but I was wondering whether anyone found him/herself in this place and how they moved forward.

I feel like there's a big boulder in my emotional release path that just does not want to move. How do you look at that which you cannot see or your ego is hiding?

 

[seeking_brilliance]

Try TRE 

 

 

[Nahm]

4 hours ago, caveman said:

How do you look at that which you cannot see or your ego is hiding?

By ‘connecting the dots’. Life, experience, can only show you how to know yourself more deeply, by showing you what you are not, so you can realize that indeed you are that. Look for unifying perspectives where there are presently divisive perspectives, interpretations, and behaviors. The guidelines of the forum are actually a stellar resource for this. Behaviors like name calling for example. First the gross is noticed, and personal responsibility employed in regard to reaction. Then the more subtle can be noticed, and the deliciousness and inherent grounded ness of response is being. 

[caveman]

@seeking_brilliance Cheers !

@Nahm I think I understand, we're talking about non-dual experiences in a way? But it seems like there are certain divisions which are so imprinted that I find myself then reacting emotionally internally with no possibility of gaining a wider perspective to unify them, like a pinball bouncing in a basement with no windows. I remain stuck in a victim view, only for the spiritual ego to enter the room and whip me for it too. Just keep on noticing? There's also a scientist in my head saying that according to studies if you were not properly nurtured/socialized in your first years you'll be basically crippled forever (although I don't think those studies injected psychedelics and self-actualization as development tools), so I'm not sure whether that's a fact to surrender to or an illusion to dismantle.

It's feels very confusing, but I'm starting to untangle how self-image/label is the origin of outer ripples that then carry the same vibe.

Edited January 22, 2021 by caveman
grammar

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, caveman said:

I think I understand, we're talking about non-dual experiences in a way?

Yes. But also, simply put “I feel this way because of someone or something else, because of who I am or how I am, because of a past, or because of a future”. Our “me” stories are interpretations which are present only in thought, and are inseparable from untamable & un-nameable inner compass which is not of this world and immeasurably more intelligent than our this or that thinking. That which is prior to choice, prior to focus. We can let what is already leading, lead in every way. That which can’t be found as it is already present & in communication with each of us & all things, which we know, feel, as sensation in the body. In relaxation of the body mind, wether at rest or active, the body is indeed the temple, and is our antenna receiving the undying under-lying signal of our most common sense. Always there for us, always available to be heard, always there to listen to our expressions and questions, already knowing of the dream within each of us and being our biggest supporter & fan.  We can loosen up & rather entertain ourselves with varying perspectives, new interpretations and fresh understanding, bringing sensational guidance that is not of this world most intimately into our lives & ways, and essentially closing the gap individually & collectively of it and what is truly & rightfully it’s world, and yet your world, your reality, your living. Maybe ‘nondualing’, as in, always present & in action, wether listened to or not. Ignore & suffer, yet listen closely, and purify much. 

3 hours ago, caveman said:

But it seems like there are certain divisions which are so imprinted that I find myself then reacting emotionally internally with no possibility of gaining a wider perspective to unify them, like a pinball bouncing in a basement with no windows. I remain stuck in a victim view, only for the spiritual ego to enter the room and whip me for it too. Just keep on noticing?

What if the greatest challenge of mankind, is letting a single thought of discord go, by employing some trust & faith that our source will fill us with ten fold the clarity, insight & joy? Then and only then, post letting interpretation which is not serving go, new interpretations can ‘fill the cup’. If ‘keep noticing’ refers to a thought, interpretation, or perspective which is felt as discord, then...no. I would not keep noticing. I would hear the message, acknowledge the burn, and let it go. If it doesn’t resonate, I am creating the discord. The greatest game possible is my inspection of how I’m creating it. There is no bigger reward or discovery than the holy grail found within this game. 

3 hours ago, caveman said:

There's also a scientist in my head saying that according to studies if you were not properly nurtured/socialized in your first years you'll be basically crippled forever (although I don't think those studies injected psychedelics and self-actualization as development tools), so I'm not sure whether that's a fact to surrender to or an illusion to dismantle.

It’s the activity of thought, and it is up to you wether a book you read resonates with your being, and wether you continue on reading it or simply put it down. The cover story (no offense I hope) is always ‘not me’. A subconscious, a past, genes, a parent or two, the alignment of the moon & stars, a scientist, something I need to know to feel better but don’t yet, a truer theory, a more powerful psychedelic, a more efficient practice... but never, just...me...now....letting it go. It’s hide & seek at it’s most fundamental, and we all know all the best places, we all know how to fool everyone & ourselves, while we pretend we don’t feel it. But we do, because it’s always there, rather here, for us. 

3 hours ago, caveman said:

It's feels very confusing, but I'm starting to untangle how self-image/label is the origin of outer ripples that then carry the same vibe.

Yes. You create your own reality, and I for one want your vibe. Not an echo of a “past”, not an implied apparent parent, the real. ?

[caveman]

@Nahm  <3

It could be that i substituted merely noticing with ruminating at a certain point. And yes, I am seeing also what you say about the cover stories, that we look anywhere but here, so in a way I am looking at the world through some basic limiting beliefs that I never even realized/questioned were simply a pair of glasses, and pulling the mirror straight onto my face literally feels like a sloppy muscle to be practiced.

So after I see that, you say not to dwell on it, so perhaps here we are moving also into "law of attraction"/subconscious programming principles? I.e. the second step is then to shift my awareness onto a more empowering vision? My body/breathing? I kind of do both moment to moment but am curious to hear what your thoughts are on this.

I think sometimes the biggest hurdle is that whenever I try to perceive and enter a more abundant vision, especially of good and happy things, that would be defined as currently out of my league, I feel a reaction/constriction in the body, and it's so automatic I feel I have no say in my "manifesting" without first fully feeling all the pain and tension - which works, it's the letting go process, but it also may end up pulling me into rumination without me realizing, so back at square one like mentioned before.

[Nahm]

10 minutes ago, caveman said:

So after I see that, you say not to dwell on it, so perhaps here we are moving also into "law of attraction"/subconscious programming principles?

(In staying with the thread context of emotional release)

No, not more thinking / psychology / strategies, but rather just because of how it feels. “Dwelling” or “not dwelling” is focusing on dwelling, which still feel as discord. Discord won’t do, & doesn’t resonate (simple and inherent) because you are unthinkably awesome. You are not a thing. Thought is a finite illusory appearance. You can not be thought. You are literally more awesome than can ever be thought. You are sofa king awesome in fact, that the illusory finite mind is terrified of your love, and it runs to every corner of this universe, trying every possible thing, trying to establish it’s “rightful” separate reality. It tries everything possible. (Left uncheck that is, un-inspected. With inspection of thought, none of that is experienced, none of that time is wasted, not of that suffering is perpetuated).

Appreciate that “it” can’t see what “it” is doing because “it” fully believes “it” exists and is “doing”. It will never be “fixed” per se, or ‘find a way’ to make “itself” whole. Only when the finite mind redirects back upon the source of “itself” and discovers “its’” actual unreality, only then the true nature is unfettered. Everything else but the quieted, perfectly still ‘mind’ is the seeking. Which is fine. Not a “problem” (that’d be dwelling again). It’s what suffering is, but this is up to you. No one else is suffering. 

10 minutes ago, caveman said:

I.e. the second step is then to shift my awareness onto a more empowering vision? My body/breathing? I kind of do both moment to moment but am curious to hear what your thoughts are on this.

(Again, in respecting the inquiry & staying rather strictly with emotional release...) There is no such ‘thing’ as causation, cause & effect, steps. There is nothing one need to do to be, feel, and know the true nature, and everything one does is actually a step away. A veiling made bigger, thicker, more complex and convoluted, with each step (every single thought) away. Every step away is a step of emotional suppression, and the resistance, the avoidance of feeling is, felt (suffering). A journey of “fixing” what is only believed to be in need of fixing, but which in actuality doesn’t even exist. If breathing consciously from the stomach feels good and brings relief by withdrawing attention from over activity of thinking, it can be said to be sane, right, appropriate, etc. Having said that, if focus upon an empowering vision resonates, there is no call to ask. Allow the resonating of feeling to be recognized as alignment with the unthinkable goodness of you. You are the ultimate, and only, authority, to such an absolute true extent in fact, that there is no such “thing” as “authority”. It’s really just another thought.

10 minutes ago, caveman said:

I think sometimes the biggest hurdle is that whenever I try to perceive and enter a more abundant vision, especially of good and happy things, that would be defined as currently out of my league, I feel a reaction/constriction in the body, and it's so automatic I feel I have no say in my "manifesting" without first fully feeling all the pain and tension - which works, it's the letting go process, but it also may end up pulling me into rumination without me realizing, so back at square one like mentioned before.

(Staying true to the thread) Only the quieted mind will do. Every thing else is a thing, and there is no existence of things. 

[caveman]

@Nahm I'm getting the feeling this is pointing to the idea of embodiment of the "Absolute", without manipulations. It makes sense but I just don't see how awesome I am, I mean I kind of do as actualizing consciousness but not in such a way as to shatter the mental lies fully, especially when it comes to relationships. Will have to meditate on this for a while - in the meantime thank you... for the sofa king awesome insights.

[Nahm]

@caveman ?

I often find that in times of even light confusion a consideration from the complete opposite angle can be most relieving. So you could consider, rather than there being a you which could embody an absolute, there is an absolute being a “you”, already. ? Likewise, a refreshing perspective might be that the “manipulation” referred to equals the thoughts, which were basically rooted in having that backwards. 

In that same of vein of considering wildly different perspectives, you could entertain the possibility that there is not a you per se which is actualizing consciousness. It is worth considering that you are already consciousness, and are already actual. That would however imply there are no “mental lies” to be shattered, because it was a misunderstanding that there is a you prior to absolute which could embody it, and or a you prior to consciousness which could actualize it. These are just perspectives to try on like shoes. What fits, what resonates, is always up to you, and there are sofa king many perspectives we get to try on. 

[caveman]

Ok I see. The actualizing/spiritual ego is still ego.

Like in the engraving, my head is able to peek into your words, while the (emotional pain) body into which the ego is rooted is still inside having convulsions.

"I" "need" to "close" the "gap".

?