my bf feel humiliate because of an idiot game

[helloWorld]

Hi my name is Isabelle

At first I need to apologizze for that terrible english but, as u did guess, it's not my native language.

So Im a beautician and my bf, for 4 years now,  just become policeman. All is great but with the job, daily things to do, my yoga… I struggle to get some time with him To fix that, we did decide to make some sport together. Few month before the pandemy… What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa but he refuses, he wants tennis but i hate racket sport… So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let’s try it…

Finally, after a dozeon of  lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the “fight part” in the end of the lesson. With the covid, we can’t go anymore, so a few days ago, he asked me to practice at home. Sure why not? We used a mat for safety and worked on the moves as in training. After one hour he challenged me in a friendly match, like for the normal session “if I dare” and he’ll show me “who’s the boss, it’s not like polish nails or yoga things…”, "let's fight fatty". Im a bit overweight (1m70 for 78kg of full love) but it has never be a problem for me, i accept me as I am and im ok for gentle teasing. I do it too for policemen..

We hang each other pyjama and turn around. I quickly noticed the previous exercices tired him more than me. I pull his sleeve, to the left, to the right, I straighten my leg out and fall on him to the ground. He struggle to escape but I hold his wrists, i pin him and count to 10 (we need to pin the opponent 10 sec to win). I gently tease him "ow your fatty got you babe" but it didnt make it smile...

I  help him to get up and we prepare for 2nd round. Now he seems really focus. I still smile while he seems really serious. He tried to crotch my leg but I counter him, he fall and so I lie on his back. I catch one of his arm and bend it on his back. I can't stop my laugh and I tease him "you are under arrest young male for lack of respect to elders" while I gently pull out a bit his pant and tap his butt with my hand. Yes I forget, i am older I am 29 and he is 25 so Im his "old wife"(dont know if there is an equivalent to my language)

I get up and can't stop giggling. I prepare for another round telling him "ready for another spank babe?" But he was mad saying "no no stop that" and leave the room.

Well it seems silly for me but atmosphere is now so cold. He just ignore me, dont talk and isolate himself... I tried to talk him but he instantly get mad and leave the room... I asked him if it's because judo is said na and anyway that sport is sh*t and he doesnt want to do it anymore....

I think i've been too far on my teasing but during the action I just find it funny and I didn't exept at all it could have hurt his ego...
 

Any ideas on how I can deal with that?

[aurum]

@helloWorld

Your boyfriend is pissed because you beat him at judo and now he feels emasculated.

Not saying you did anything wrong. Honestly he is being immature about it. But know that he is likely feeling like he just got his ego crushed.

This is tricky because if you now try and do something obvious to reinforce his masculinity, it'll likely come across as even more emasculating to him. "I know I just whopped you in judo, but you're such a big man!" .

At the same time, it would nice if you could just honestly communicate about this. I'm sure you don't see him as "less of a man" because of this, so it's largely just a misunderstanding.

You might have to let him sulk for awhile before he's ready for a conversation.

[helloWorld]

@aurum

Hi thx for your answer

 

Well I feel responsable and I feel bad that if he feel a bit humiliate by that. I dont even know if it's the fact that I beat him, i tease him or the spank..

it changes obviously nothing for me.. I just find the situation funny and cute..

 

Any idea on how I can reinforce his masculinity in a subtil way?

[Preety_India]

He is not dependable if he freaks out over such little things. 

In my opinion, he is too immature. 

Such relationships don't go too far.

Cry baby behavior from an adult man - Huge Red Flag.