What is happiness?

[Corpus]

On 19/01/2021 at 8:04 AM, Someone here said:

I don't know if you have noticed yet.. But the "classical" approach to happiness =pleasure just doesn't work.   If you just get all the money and all the sex and all the yachts and houses etc..... Sure that is a relatively better condition than begging for food as a homeless person... So there is definitely a direction towards happiness.. But you don't actually believe that's what life is All about don't you? 

Isn't this kind of happiness the kind which is conditional? This kind does "have a direction", namely predicated on getting, an event typically imagined to come to fruition at some future point. The homeless hungry person might feel that the prospect of a meal and shelter for tonight will make them happy but in his/her case and that of the other whose new yacht has just been delivered, is the experience of happiness for each the same? Perhaps the thing which unites both experiences is a sense of relief from the discomforting force which propels them towards that which will bestow happiness. An alleviation of a kind of pain. Both pertain to survival- the hungry chap is motivated by survival at a "physical level" and the proud yacht-owners survival needs are more conceptual in origin.

 

On 19/01/2021 at 8:04 AM, Someone here said:

Also ... There is what's known as hedonic treadmill... as a person makes more money.. expectations and desires rise in tandem.. which results in no permanent gain in happiness.  Because now what used to make you super happy barely dabbles with your senses anymore. So you have to chase something bigger and bigger.... And it never ends.  

  The hedonic treadmill is all too common but not inevitable. How one approaches money attitudinally depends on multiple factors including the instruction provided by ones parents, both overtly and subtly, which will depend on their history and life experiences.

 

[Someone here]

3 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

My grandma used to have multiple illnesses that would make her cry every single day for nearly a decade, and there was nothing we could do about it except giving her pointless medications, until she died. She would always cry and scream what did I do to deserve all that? I do realize that part of her suffering was psychological, but dude what about the physical? Why should anyone go through that?

c'est la vie. 

[Someone here]

@Mu_  @xxxx

Too much points all over the place.. I can't respond to all this... But will touch on depression and the well intentions behind the design of this reality.. 

Let's take one example.. Depression..

A depressed person doesn't know what he wants from this life. He tried everything to battle.  tried every thing hates himself . Never loved himself have defeated in every aspect and every form in this life. Now this stresss he had for years started to take toll over his body physically. Now he suffers every kind of pain..neck pain..body pain..shoulder pain.headache. Days are always in pain. Far worse is being a man. Nobody cares about you. We're doomed to suffer then die. No friends no one says hi no nothing fuck.. He  seriously need to disappear from this world in an instant. It won't change anything. "Yeah" "Sorry" "Try this" "That" "No" "Yes" "You're wrong" "You're right" Makes no fucking sense. Will just Keep his mind busy. And fall into all kinds of addictions and destruction. 

Depression is hell on Earth. It has a zombie-like feature -- not totally alive, not dead either.

The thing is.. no amount of books.. advice.. venting will get you out of this. Sorry. It might kinda help.. but depression will sooner or later creep in once again. Why? Because it's a chronic illness.

See depression as a chronic illness. such as diabetes. It has no cure.. but it is possible to keep it under control.. If a person who has diabetes doesn't take insulin.. things will get really bad for him. And as time goes by.. it'll get worse and worse.

About the goodness of God.. Is God good? Really? Really tho? 

the god that created this universe if it was created by God. is quite clearly a maniac. continues Fry. An utter maniac. totally selfish. 

Bone cancer in children?’ What’s that about? How dare you. How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right. It’s utterly.. utterly evil. Why should I respect a  sick minded,. stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain?’.. Prove to me that reality is not just entropy moving towards perfect madness and hilarious evil at the end? You can't. You don't know shit. Just deal with it. And lay aside some.. Not all.. But At least some of the spiritual mumbo jumbo. 

3 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

My grandma used to have multiple illnesses that would make her cry every single day for nearly a decade, and there was nothing we could do about it except giving her pointless medications, until she died. She would always cry and scream what did I do to deserve all that? I do realize that part of her suffering was psychological, but dude what about the physical? Why should anyone go through that?

How do you reconcile that with peace..goodness and love? 

(The question is for Mu and xxxx) 

Edited January 20, 2021 by Someone here

[Someone here]

6 hours ago, Nahm said:

What, like all ‘other’ vibration, is happiness. 

What is this nonsense?! 

Edited January 20, 2021 by Someone here

[Nahm]

@Someone here

I don't know. 

[Mu_]

54 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@Mu_  @xxxx

Too much points all over the place.. I can't respond to all this... But will touch on depression and the well intentions behind the design of this reality.. 

Let's take one example.. Depression..

A depressed person doesn't know what he wants from this life. He tried everything to battle.  tried every thing hates himself . Never loved himself have defeated in every aspect and every form in this life. Now this stresss he had for years started to take toll over his body physically. Now he suffers every kind of pain..neck pain..body pain..shoulder pain.headache. Days are always in pain. Far worse is being a man. Nobody cares about you. We're doomed to suffer then die. No friends no one says hi no nothing fuck.. He  seriously need to disappear from this world in an instant. It won't change anything. "Yeah" "Sorry" "Try this" "That" "No" "Yes" "You're wrong" "You're right" Makes no fucking sense. Will just Keep his mind busy. And fall into all kinds of addictions and destruction. 

Depression is hell on Earth. It has a zombie-like feature -- not totally alive, not dead either.

The thing is.. no amount of books.. advice.. venting will get you out of this. Sorry. It might kinda help.. but depression will sooner or later creep in once again. Why? Because it's a chronic illness.

See depression as a chronic illness. such as diabetes. It has no cure.. but it is possible to keep it under control.. If a person who has diabetes doesn't take insulin.. things will get really bad for him. And as time goes by.. it'll get worse and worse.

About the goodness of God.. Is God good? Really? Really tho? 

the god that created this universe if it was created by God. is quite clearly a maniac. continues Fry. An utter maniac. totally selfish. 

Bone cancer in children?’ What’s that about? How dare you. How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right. It’s utterly.. utterly evil. Why should I respect a  sick minded,. stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain?’.. Prove to me that reality is not just entropy moving towards perfect madness and hilarious evil at the end? You can't. You don't know shit. Just deal with it. And lay aside some.. Not all.. But At least some of the spiritual mumbo jumbo. 

How do you reconcile that with peace..goodness and love? 

(The question is for Mu and xxxx) 

Reconcile with peace goodness and love?  That was never my intent to do so, nor is there a need to.  I was merely pointing to new mountaintops and vantage points.

I get you man, I TOTALLY get you.  I spent years in this frustration of trying to reconcile what I heard from teachers about life BEING love and happiness and peace and would get so hateful and angry and frustrated about these exact matters your pointing to.  Who the fuck is this god or life that would do such things, this is NOT a loving god, this is at best a chaotic god, massively imperfect, and far from love by any meaning I then understand.

What helped me was to see leave room for what I didn't understand or see, to not assume what I was seeing and deducing was "objective", not to assume life/god had volition and caused such things with intent, to see the non-objectivity of things, to peer into and see the oneness of suchness without filters or idea's and feel the reality melting love and peace in it all.  Forgive life, forgive god, forgive yourself, this helped to.

If you assume god must of done such matters in the way you see and feel them to be, then you've already jumped many conclusions about life and see this as objectively so, and its result is your hate and frustration of something you believe to be true.  And yes this to is an unavoidable part of existence, with no good, right wrong, awful, a joke, stupid, not loving, not happiness attached to it.

Holding onto the story that life is Love, Happiness and Good, can be just as much a corner stone of belief to get worked up around when its not met to the expectations of such.  This to was a lesson to learn which helped drop more and more suffering.

 

 

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

About the goodness of God.. Is God good? Really? Really tho? 

the god that created this universe if it was created by God. is quite clearly a maniac. continues Fry. An utter maniac. totally selfish. 

you cannot understand reality, karma. do not try, the logical mind will always tell you: this is war, the world is a hostile, terrible place. misery and pain, the human being is a deformed being, made for misery, cruelty and exploitation. But if you step back and place yourself above the ego, you will see the beauty, the wonder, the love. it is something very interesting to see. I for example, if I am in ego mode, I think of my insane and addicted narcissistic father, in the war that I have gone through and I think: this life is a disgusting abortion, all should be different. After three seconds I go to the transcended ego mode, and all that is nothing, there is only beauty, harmony. After a while I think, if everything is very beautiful but it could have been this other way ... and you fall back into the same thing. that a child with bone cancer is the manifestation of God's love is not something you can grasp with your mind. in fact I can't grasp it right now. but it's real. without you there is no suffering. suffering is ego. If you go further, it does not exist, it is illusion. If It's no "I" there is not suffering, no evil, no difference between good and bad

[xxxx]

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

About the goodness of God.. Is God good?

I do not want to beat around the bush, and if I do write this down, it may seem all over the place.

This video will be able to explain it better. Please watch it completely, and then we can discuss this further, in detail --- if you'd like to. 

.

 

 

.

Edited January 20, 2021 by xxxx

[peanutspathtotruth]

This Relentless Love
No matter how hard
you may struggle
to stay afloat,
how violently
you may cry out,
"No! This cannot
be God,"
you can feel it,
can't you, this
current that keeps
pulling you under,
this force that
simply will not stop.

No matter how hard
we may struggle
to keep from 
hearing it
the song goes on:

"This too, My child,
this too..."
John Astin

[zeroISinfinity]

Mr One... Liner

Infinite Goodness

[Gesundheit]

5 hours ago, Mu_ said:

Can you summarize the point your making.  Is it that because there is suffering and or pain that happens in a body, like knife slicing through my leg will hurt, makes reality not happiness and not love?  And if so, does this frustrate you and/or make you want to counter statements of life being Love and Happiness?

Of course. That's exactly what I'm saying, minus the frustration or any feelings/reactions on my part.

5 hours ago, Mu_ said:

Also I'm not saying Rape or torture feel good or not, and that its someones responsibility if they are suffering through it, or that they should just learn to like it if it happens.  Part of my point was that there are examples of pain from the body not being "from" the body, but of mind or unknown reasons why some feel pain and some dont through the same experience or situation.  And its in this point that there is a lot to maybe see and understand about your own belief of what is pain/suffering/cause/non-cause/the actuality of such.  Its a interesting investigation if so intrigued. 

Also there was no idea of me being special that I overcame my sexual trauma's and was uneffected by such, that wasn't the point.  It was to communicate that these circumstances which you objectively believe to be one way, are not objectively so.  I honestly think I was very fortunate to have the outcome that happened.  It could of been a lot more troubling. 

You've done this multiple times by now, so I feel I should alert you to what you're doing. You have referred to me many times as if I'm lacking perspective and missing something, which I do agree that it's always the case for me. But what you're missing when you do that is that you're actually avoiding that same investigation by throwing it at me because you think that your perspective is more coherent and comprehensive than mine without giving the chance to my perspective to be fully explored. This causes identification to a position. And then you tell me that I should be investigating my position when I'm actually doing that investigation already, while you're not. You have done the same thing multiple times on different occasions, so I thought you should know. Just because you disagree with me does not necessarily mean that you have the higher perspective. Maybe I do, but you're refusing to listen.

I didn't mean to say that you think you are special. It was part of the bigger point that I was making that there's no free will.

On the one hand, you acknowledge my point. Then on another, you reject it again. I don't understand your point.

This question is for both of you @Mu_ & @Snader :

Wouldn't you actually prefer a pain-free life over even a slightly painful one? I personally would like to be in a constant high state, but that's not realistic. I would never want to experience even 0.000000000000000000000000001% of pain. And I would always want to experience positive states. Is this not what all humans deeply want? Or am I the weird one here?

Now, @Snader Of course, pain is just a sensation, but it is a painful one, regardless of your thoughts. In certain coma states, the body still reacts to pain stimuli.

I don't deny Ralston's wisdom, but I don't think it's wise to take the harder route of enduring unnecessary pains when there are other, better, and easier solutions. I once read that Ralston removed some teeth or did some surgery without an anaesthetic. Well, to me, that's extremely stupid given the fact that anaesthesia exists in our modern world. To me, that's like bypassing science because he wanted to show off his spiritual muscles. Science exists so that it can make life, which is a much more difficult experience otherwise, an easier experience. So I will always root for science first when it comes to dealing with physical problems. Spiritual solutions are like the last thing on the list.

That being said, it remains absolutely true that life is not a 100% pleasant experience. So I really don't know where narratives such as happiness/love is our true nature come from except from drugs or temporary high states induced by spiritual practices, which I'm not against in practice, but I'm certainly against in value judgement.

[Mu_]

46 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Of course. That's exactly what I'm saying, minus the frustration or any feelings/reactions on my part.

You've done this multiple times by now, so I feel I should alert you to what you're doing. You have referred to me many times as if I'm lacking perspective and missing something, which I do agree that it's always the case for me. But what you're missing when you do that is that you're actually avoiding that same investigation by throwing it at me because you think that your perspective is more coherent and comprehensive than mine without giving the chance to my perspective to be fully explored. This causes identification to a position. And then you tell me that I should be investigating my position when I'm actually doing that investigation already, while you're not. You have done the same thing multiple times on different occasions, so I thought you should know. Just because you disagree with me does not necessarily mean that you have the higher perspective. Maybe I do, but you're refusing to listen.

I didn't mean to say that you think you are special. It was part of the bigger point that I was making that there's no free will.

On the one hand, you acknowledge my point. Then on another, you reject it again. I don't understand your point.

This question is for both of you @Mu_ & @Snader :

Wouldn't you actually prefer a pain-free life over even a slightly painful one? I personally would like to be in a constant high state, but that's not realistic. I would never want to experience even 0.000000000000000000000000001% of pain. And I would always want to experience positive states. Is this not what all humans deeply want? Or am I the weird one here?

Now, @Snader Of course, pain is just a sensation, but it is a painful one, regardless of your thoughts. In certain coma states, the body still reacts to pain stimuli.

I don't deny Ralston's wisdom, but I don't think it's wise to take the harder route of enduring unnecessary pains when there are other, better, and easier solutions. I once read that Ralston removed some teeth or did some surgery without an anaesthetic. Well, to me, that's extremely stupid given the fact that anaesthesia exists in our modern world. To me, that's like bypassing science because he wanted to show off his spiritual muscles. Science exists so that it can make life, which is a much more difficult experience otherwise, an easier experience. So I will always root for science first when it comes to dealing with physical problems. Spiritual solutions are like the last thing on the list.

That being said, it remains absolutely true that life is not a 100% pleasant experience. So I really don't know where narratives such as happiness/love is our true nature come from except from drugs or temporary high states induced by spiritual practices, which I'm not against in practice, but I'm certainly against in value judgement.

Im sorry if you've taken my actions this way.  Can you point out how in this instance I said your lacking perspective?  I just introduced stuff and said if your interested there may be something there if intrigued.  I've agreed with some of your points and felt differently on others.  I often take the side of bringing more into the picture for perspective sake. 

Can you point out where I'm not looking at your perspective because i believe mine is more coherent and larger? 

Not that it bothers me but your first comment on the last page which seemed partially targeted at me since it seemed very targeted at the type of wisdom you thought was woo woo or unicornical and was right under my post,  "I always say it's easy to talk philosophy as long as you're living a comfortable life. But what happens when someone comes and rapes and tortures you? All of the sudden, you'll be suffering and in pain. All of these unicornical ideas about happiness and peace of mind will fly out of the window. And you will be left with hatred towards life and God and everything. Hippies on drugs won't understand, because the high effect is stronger. But drugs don't last forever."

This was right after I was responding to Someonehere on some views about happiness.  None of it was about saying life is love, happiness, and nothing else, that was never my claim and none of it was responding to you in anyways.  Maybe you lumped me into a larger idea going on in this topic or something that rubs you the wrong way about such idea's. 

Also to your same point your bringing to my attention, how was a response like you gave at all respectful of what I was talking to someonehere about.  If anything it seems like you made no consideration or responded to anything I said, just gave some idea's you had with utmost certainty and called such notions as unicornical.  I then went on to explain in a non condescending way my points about such claims.

Perhaps I've taken a position in the past, but in this instance it seems like its not the case, and it is perhaps you who should take in your own criticism in this instance (I honestly don't care if you do or not, but since you seem interested in this line of respect).

Im open to hearing your side and looking at this more, but as of now I've said my piece.

Also in my brief recollection of our past talks, youve asked me questions or challenged notions and I would go about explaining my reasoning (Your not the only one on this forum who's done this, its pretty much the norm).  Not once have you I felt you took anything into consideration, which is odd, since it was you who asked, and most of your responses have been on the defensive convinced end of he spectrum (again, a very common norm).

I'll try and be more aware in future exchanges, and please bring up anything you feel in regard to such, but as of right now, I've said what I feel is true, even if I'm wrong.

[Gesundheit]

@Mu_ The problem with your approach is that it's usually a straw-man of the discussion at hand. I might be discussing certain points, but then you bring something else up as if it actually diminishes the points being made or ends the discussion somehow. I understand how you make relevant and practical responses, but again, this becomes a straw-man because these responses are not the whole picture.

Here, for example, I am talking about the experience of physical pain. And then you come and tell me to do an investigation into the relationship between the mind and physical pain. I don't know why you would bring that up time and time again when I made my point crystal clear that I'm talking about pure physical pain. I understand how deceiving the mind is, and still, I'm in no way claiming that I'm enlightened or above my mind. But this is different, and even you acknowledged that physical pain is not a comfortable/desired experience. But then you return to the same straw-man that it's not really painful except for the mind. And then I return to my original argument that this is silly and unicornical. And then repeat endlessly.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Mu_]

45 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

@Mu_ The problem with your approach is that it's usually a straw-man of the discussion at hand. I might be discussing certain points, but then you bring something else up as if it actually diminishes the points being made or ends the discussion somehow. I understand how you make relevant and practical responses, but again, this becomes a straw-man because these responses are not the whole picture.

Here, for example, I am talking about the experience of physical pain. And then you come and tell me to do an investigation into the relationship between the mind and physical pain. I don't know why you would bring that up time and time again when I made my point crystal clear that I'm talking about pure physical pain. I understand how deceiving the mind is, and still, I'm in no way claiming that I'm enlightened or above my mind. But this is different, and even you acknowledged that physical pain is not a comfortable/desired experience. But then you return to the same straw-man that it's not really painful except for the mind. And then I return to my original argument that this is silly and unicornical. And then repeat endlessly.

Well the subtly to what I'm pointing to is that "physical" pain can't be separated from as you call the mental and/or elements out of ones control.

One guy sprains a leg, no big deal.

Guy two sprains his leg and its the worse physical pain he's ever known and needs to be taken to the hospital, can't eat, sleep, complains at the top of his lungs.

Guy one, not only sprains his leg, but continues to run a marathon, get in a fight and sleeps just fine at the end of the day.

Guy one goes on to heal his leg, doesn't think anything of it, life doesn't change.

Guy two is afraid to play sports, go down stairs, do anything that could possible hurt his leg again.  Develops back pain as a result of muslce disorders because his walk is constrained due to the guy protecting his leg even though there is no injury to it any longer. 

Example 2:

One person can put needles through their arm no pain, or perhaps some discomfort.

Person two almost has a heart attack, nearly dies, freaks the fuck out, goes through excruciating pain.

 

Do you see what I'm pointing to?  Pain is not a you do this to the body, it does this in response, and as a result it means its a horrible or good thing about life, the individual, or the causer of such.

And I hear your points as well, and agree, not everyone is prepared for every type of pain or issue and as a result discomfort and suffering will and does happen.  What this means about life is another matter which I also point out as well.  Such does make life itself horrible, good, right, wrong, malicious, sad, not worth living, and many others that get added onto ones outlook as a result of going through difficult, painful, suffering, hard times (and yes this unavoidable to).

Again, I never made a claim in this topic that life is love or happiness itself.  I will say though, its not negative.

[Ananta]

 

"This part of my life....this little part....is called happiness"

 

Edited January 21, 2021 by Ananta

[Gesundheit]

26 minutes ago, Mu_ said:

Well the subtly to what I'm pointing to is that "physical" pain can't be separated from as you call the mental and/or elements out of ones control.

One guy sprains a leg, no big deal.

Guy two sprains his leg and its the worse physical pain he's ever known and needs to be taken to the hospital, can't eat, sleep, complains at the top of his lungs.

Guy one, not only sprains his leg, but continues to run a marathon, get in a fight and sleeps just fine at the end of the day.

Guy one goes on to heal his leg, doesn't think anything of it, life doesn't change.

Guy two is afraid to play sports, go down stairs, do anything that could possible hurt his leg again.  Develops back pain as a result of muslce disorders because his walk is constrained due to the guy protecting his leg even though there is no injury to it any longer. 

Example 2:

One person can put needles through their arm no pain, or perhaps some discomfort.

Person two almost has a heart attack, nearly dies, freaks the fuck out, goes through excruciating pain.

Do you see what I'm pointing to?  Pain is not a you do this to the body, it does this in response, and as a result it means its a horrible or good thing about life, the individual, or the causer of such.

This is basic enlightenment stuff. Nothing new or nuanced here, honestly. And I most definitely agree with it and encourage everyone to take it seriously because it helped me remove a lot of the unnecessary suffering that I used to cause to myself. When I compare myself to others, it becomes crystal clear to me that I'm at some very advanced level, given the fact that my material life is such a shitty one in comparison, and yet they suffer and I don't. Yet, my life is not the worst thing I can imagine. It could get a lot worse, and I think I'm extremely fortunate to be who I am. In fact, I would not trade my life with anyone, even with you, even though I'm 100% sure your material life circumstances are better than mine. I mean you have a YouTube channel, I can't even afford a new phone.

Yes, I have overcome most of my imaginary problems. But I would certainly want to change my life to the better as long as I could. Even though, technically, "better" does not seem to be a real thing. I mean what's better than a healthy body and a peaceful mind? I honestly could not ask for more, but I also would never want for any of that to be removed or taken away from me. I hope that gives you a clearer idea of who I am. And yes, I agree that it's not right to put labels on reality, neither positive nor negative. It's just what it is.

Now, beyond that, notice that it's philosophical and not practical at all. Because beyond the labels and prior to them, there's the ground reality, which contains pain and suffering, and also happiness and love and all that.

[Mu_]

3 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

This is basic enlightenment stuff. Nothing new or nuanced here, honestly. And I most definitely agree with it and encourage everyone to take it seriously because it helped me remove a lot of the unnecessary suffering that I used to cause to myself. When I compare myself to others, it becomes crystal clear to me that I'm at some very advanced level, given the fact that my material life is such a shitty one in comparison, and yet they suffer and I don't. Yet, my life is not the worst thing I can imagine. It could get a lot worse, and I think I'm extremely fortunate to be who I am. In fact, I would not trade my life with anyone, even with you, even though I'm 100% sure your material life circumstances are better than mine. I mean you have a YouTube channel, I can't even afford a new phone.

Yes, I have overcome most of my imaginary problems. But I would certainly want to change my life to the better as long as I could. Even though, technically, "better" does not seem to be a real thing. I mean what's better than a healthy body and a peaceful mind? I honestly could not ask for more, but I also would never want for any of that to be removed or taken away from me. I hope that gives you a clearer idea of who I am. And yes, I agree that it's not right to put labels on reality, neither positive nor negative. It's just what it is.

Now, beyond that, notice that it's philosophical and not practical at all. Because beyond the labels and prior to them, there's the ground reality, which contains pain and suffering, and also happiness and love and all that.

Haha, dont let my youtube channel fool you into thinking I'm wealthy, I make no money on it.  I'm pretty average by society standards, perhaps lower class for the boston area.

I'm happy to hear your as content with your life as you are, its a great place to be.  Ya what I shared is pretty basic enlightenment 101, but that basic lesson does go very deep.  Deeper then I've taken it.

I'm not sure i agree that this is all philosophical, and not practical, but ya, this ground IS.  If you want to use the words, pain, suffering, happiness, love and all that, I'm ok with that.

[Roy]

Happiness is simply being radically content and accepting of reality in the present moment.

[Gesundheit]

33 minutes ago, Mu_ said:

I'm not sure i agree that this is all philosophical, and not practical.

You will when you lose all the control you think you have on reality, and discover that no amount of philosophy/thinking can help you regain that control, because it was an illusion all along.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Gesundheit

[PureRogueQ]

10 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

You will when you lose all the control you think you have on reality, and discover that no amount of philosophy/thinking can help you regain that control, because it was an illusion all along.

If control was illusion all along then what are you talking about, going into illusion that you don't have control? 

It is not that you don't have a control , but that your control in certain areas is very limited.

Happiness by science standards is chemical reaction in brain, why exactly our actions can cause certain chemicals to form is a mystery , but what is not mystery is that most of your actions , feelings are determined by your habits, habits of thinking certain way,  acting certain  way, such habits are not easy to break in long term without rewriting them with repetition.

What you must understand is that in a sense  there is nothing logical about most of stuff we think, do,  I guess for some of us it is even  common to  know that way we act does not make sense, or rather we don't know why we do it,  or  question of sense no sense will not even arise, in your case you can start to think that you don't have a control, because you already convinced  yourself with some logic of there being no control.

In truth, you can make any truth!