Understanding Pick Up

[soos_mite_ah]

In these last couple days, I realized that there are likely things that I'm missing from my perspective when it comes to understanding pick up. I believe one of my main weaknesses is differentiating the types of pick up (after all learning=making distinctions). I know that when to comes to attraction and developing confidence there are healthy ways to go about it and there are very devilish and manipulative ways as well. Same with pick up. 

I'm going to explain my point of view and why pick up does trigger me to a certain extent. This is to show people where I'm coming from but also to identify places where I might have blockages, limiting beliefs, and resistance towards the subject. Sometimes you need to know where you stand in order to know which way to go. Here are my experiences with men and why I see red flags in pick up. I'm not saying every woman has this same experience, but it wouldn't be surprising if many of them could see themselves in my situation. Which is why I think it's a good idea of why women are typically resistant to the idea of pick up which can give some people insight for it's limitations. 

I have had grown men stare at my tits since I was 13 years old. I have been cat called numerous times, and I will say that in none of those instances did I feel safe much less complimented. Having a man who is a foot taller than me tell me that I'm sexy and that I have nice tits randomly in the middle of the night at a gas station is what can give me nightmares. I get being confident and being assertive when it comes to women and going up to a woman you find attractive and tell her that you think she is beautiful or that she has pretty eyes. That has happened to me before and I never felt uncomfortable from those instances. In fact I felt very flattered.  What differentiates these two circumstances is that in one circumstance it was purely out of selfish intent and objectification while the other is lead with empathy. Yes in both cases there was a clear expression of I'm attracted to you but I will say that from a woman's point of view, she will have two completely different reactions to these two approaches. To me this expresses the difference between aggression and assertiveness. When I see men being told to be more aggressive towards women, I immediately think of the former instances. There is nothing wrong with being confident, humorous, or out going, and developing those qualities if you think it's going to make you more successful with women but there is a huge difference in regards to how those manifest whether it is in a aggressive way or an assertive way. Also being encouraged to be more dominant can get lumped into aggression rather than assertiveness because of the way women have been treated throughout history as those who need to be subservient to a man. Being dominant in the bedroom is perfectly fine and understandable if that is what you're into but feeling this need to be dominant in a social setting can set off red flags for women. Being dominant can also be interpreted as a disregard to boundaries and being viewed as prey when it isn't executed properly. That can have all type of negative perceptions in the eyes of women and negative consequences for her which I'm going to go into next. 

Next, I'm going to be talking about being viewed as prey. Most men don't have this experience, especially a regular occurrence of this experience. Again, like many women, I have been seen in a sexual light since I was a very young age. When I was 16 years old I had instances where grown men who are much older than me flirt with me even after I told them I wasn't interested and I was underage. To them, it didn't matter that I wasn't even a legal adult. If anything, to them it was part of my appeal. I've also had men who tried to push my boundaries or get mad at my boundaries. There has been instances where I told a guy that I wasn't interested or that I was busy and he tried to change my mind so I would go out with him or sleep with him. The initial approach might have been fine, but pushing me to do something is when it dipped into creepy territory. Sometimes when I can tell a guy is being too pushy with me, I resort to telling him I'm gay so I can get the hell away from him because like most women, I don't find being pressured as feeling safe. But even then, sometimes guy see it as "oh but I can change your mind, you just haven't had my dick before." Imagine if a gay man told you that after you told him you were straight. The cops would have been called on him. And sometimes in these instances, women are afraid of saying no because sometimes when w e do, we get yelled at an harassed. Some of these women simply don't have a backbone to speak up when they feel  uncomfortable and some of them get into situations where they are scared shitless and comply with a man against her own best interests. While I can't relate, I can empathize with that. One time I was on a first date and it didn't feel natural to kiss the guy I was on the date with and I told him that. When I said, I don't want to kiss you right now, this man lost it, yelled at me and told me I was a whore. I got the hell away from this guy. So when I hear this language of women being referred to as rabbits or fish when people say "don't ask a rabbit how to hunt" or "don't ask a fish how to catch them" I think that the person saying that right now sees women as prey to be hunted and conquered rather than human beings to be understood and to connect with and I think that this person sees themselves as a hunter of sorts (again goes back to aggression vs. assertive). Whenever I hear things along the lines of "she wants it but she doesn't know it yet" or "women don't know what they want" while I get that we can have a bias when it comes to attraction, it can come off as if  you're saying women don't know where her boundaries lie and if you manipulate her in the right way, you can get what you want from her.

And finally, I'm going to talk about the whole concept of asking for it. Whenever a woman wears something that shows even a little bit of skin, often times men see it as an invitation for catcalling and all sorts of creepy behavior. I have had my ass grabbed in public by men I have never even talked to. I have had men look at me as if I'm a piece of meat when I was talking to them because they can't help but look at my boobs instead of my face. And in many of these instances, people automatically assumed it's my fault for provoking these men based on what I was wearing. What I was wearing is not relevant because women get treated this way whether they are covered head to tow in a burka or they are wearing a crop top and some shorts. The common denominator is men who objectify women. I understand that if you are at the club, women are more likely to probably want something sexual because of the context and setting. But even then, you need to treat a woman with respect. Dragging her away (emotionally speaking) from her friends when she clearly still wants to be with them or when she is saying that she has to go to work and can't come by your hotel room is manipulation and pressurization and in some cases can border on assault. Again often times women are conditioned to be nice and passive, even in situation where we are not comfortable because standing up for yourself is seen as being bitchy and uptight. Women can choose to sleep around, she can choose to remain celibate til marriage, or anything else in between. That's up to her and any of those things are fine. But pressurizing a woman to do something other wise in either direction, whether it is remaining "pure" or getting her to sleep around, is out of line and makes women uncomfortable. And often times when we are referring to manipulation, we are referring to this type of pressurization, not the way you do your hair or the way you present yourself in order to feel more confident. Presenting yourself in the best light to where you feel good about yourself is normal and encouraged when dating, but that's not what women are referring to when we mean manipulation. 

This video is also pretty on point with a lot of the things I have been talking about plus more. I'm just expanding on the part where Leo talks about the female perspective and agenda by showing what that means for a lot of women. 

I know this was super long and I hope that people can get a better idea of where many women are coming from and why pick up triggers them. I tried to be as detailed as possible so people know exactly what I'm talking about but even then, I still have more experiences and instances that I can talk about in similar depth. As long as this post is, it's only but the surface of the bs that I, and many women, had to deal with men. 

 

Edited January 18, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

Also note: I'm not going to be replying to many comments. I have said what I said and I expanded on it pretty extensively. Plus I want to be all ears regarding this topic and the reactions it might cause. 

[aurum]

I wrote a long respond in the previous locked thread, so I won't repeat myself here. But I will say that I agree with much of what you're saying. Pickup can be extremely objectifying and manipulative. I've seen things taught that could qualify as sociopathy. There's a general lack of empathy in the community so it's good that we also hear from women and their side of the story.

I feel that pickup is attempting to replace missing male initiations in society. But it fails to do so because it cannot separate itself from the narratives our society is based on and the general toxicity of our culture.

Reinstitute proper male initiations and PUA will disappear.

[Snader]

Undeveloped men are brutally rude and they don't care about your feelings. That's typical SD stage red behavior you've had to bear and I really understand how it has affected you and your prejudice towards pick up. 

The super ''masculine'' -- mostly SD stage red/orange ideology -- around pick up is the thing that makes it so toxic. Anyway pick up can be done with much more conscious and manly manner, which I think is the main objective here on this forum when talking about pick up.

And it doesn't necessarily mean that all the problems are within men. Women can also grow a thicker skin and improve their tolerance against those kind of men by understanding and practice. Those kind of men are not yet gone from western culture for some time.

[MrBON]

Pick up can be done in many ways, just like marketing and sales can be done in many ways. It can be very manipulative, cruel, selfish or it can be done geniounly and put a smile on your face. The cases you mentioned seem more like legit sexual harassment to me than actual pick up. No respected pick up coach will ever say "tell a girl she has nice tits in the street and grab her ass". That is something creeps do. Most pick up is actually done in clubs and bars where girls go with the idea that they will get hit on to some extent, not on the street. Street pickup happens ofc but not as much as night pickup in bars and clubs.

A lot of guys that start pick up start it because they have been ignored and rejected by girls all their lives. Have you ever felt like no one is interested in you? Like you will end up alone because you are unlovable? Have you ever felt unlovable? It is one of most disgusting feelings a human can feel. This is what pushes guys to learn pick up. Most guys that learn pick up are not the cases you mentioned above, they are the nervous nerdy guy that talks to you and is scared shitless. He seems almost like a defenseless child given how nervous he is. 

To me pick up is like a weapon, you can use it for good or bad depending on your moral and conscious development. 

[Sleyker]

Hey, @soos_mite_ah I'm glad you're trying to open your mind to understand pick up, that speaks volumes of you as a person and I will gladly and humbly tell you my pov around the topic.

Pick up depends a lot on the guy who is doing it.

The way I see the big picture of pick up is a just a man becoming aware of his terrible mindsets and neurotic behaviors around women and then letting those go overtime. 

A man is designed to attract a woman, so why can't he just do it naturally? Because he carries low self-esteem, judgments, resentment, limiting beliefs and has behaviors that repels women (like being too much of a nice guy). 

Pick up done well slowly strips the guy of many of these and at the end of the journey what is left is just his sacred, unconditional love and desire for the femenine, his ability to own his masculinity and naturally attract women as a byproduct of that.

That's how I've viewed my journey in pick-up. Me learning to love women, to love talking to them, to love flirting with them, to love listening to them, to love making love to them. Which I was unable to do because of all the neurosis. (I still have a ton to learn).

And so, for this to happen it is necessary to go out and talk to a lot of girls, fail miserably and then cry out of feelings of unworthiness, push boundaries and be seen as a threat to girls, it is all part of the learning experience.

Edited January 18, 2021 by Sleyker

[Gesundheit]

Well, one of the best solutions is to treat each person as an individual person that has nothing to do with any other person. This makes it easier to understand others and form deeper connections with them, instead of building walls and using experience as a way to maintain fear or even create more fear. Don't let a few bad examples shape the rest of your life.

Learn from your mistakes, but also be positive, forgive, and move on.

And ideally, work on overcoming fear in general.

[SamC]

3 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Next, I'm going to be talking about being viewed as prey. Most men don't have this experience, especially a regular occurrence of this experience. Again, like many women, I have been seen in a sexual light since I was a very young age. When I was 16 years old I had instances where grown men who are much older than me flirt with me even after I told them I wasn't interested and I was underage. To them, it didn't matter that I wasn't even a legal adult. If anything, to them it was part of my appeal. I've also had men who tried to push my boundaries or get mad at my boundaries. There has been instances where I told a guy that I wasn't interested or that I was busy and he tried to change my mind so I would go out with him or sleep with him. The initial approach might have been fine, but pushing me to do something is when it dipped into creepy territory. Sometimes when I can tell a guy is being too pushy with me, I resort to telling him I'm gay so I can get the hell away from him because like most women, I don't find being pressured as feeling safe. But even then, sometimes guy see it as "oh but I can change your mind, you just haven't had my dick before." Imagine if a gay man told you that after you told him you were straight. The cops would have been called on him. And sometimes in these instances, women are afraid of saying no because sometimes when w e do, we get yelled at an harassed. Some of these women simply don't have a backbone to speak up when they feel  uncomfortable and some of them get into situations where they are scared shitless and comply with a man against her own best interests. While I can't relate, I can empathize with that. One time I was on a first date and it didn't feel natural to kiss the guy I was on the date with and I told him that. When I said, I don't want to kiss you right now, this man lost it, yelled at me and told me I was a whore. I got the hell away from this guy. So when I hear this language of women being referred to as rabbits or fish when people say "don't ask a rabbit how to hunt" or "don't ask a fish how to catch them" I think that the person saying that right now sees women as prey to be hunted and conquered rather than human beings to be understood and to connect with and I think that this person sees themselves as a hunter of sorts (again goes back to aggression vs. assertive). Whenever I hear things along the lines of "she wants it but she doesn't know it yet" or "women don't know what they want" while I get that we can have a bias when it comes to attraction, it can come off as if  you're saying women don't know where her boundaries lie and if you manipulate her in the right way, you can get what you want from her.

And finally, I'm going to talk about the whole concept of asking for it. Whenever a woman wears something that shows even a little bit of skin, often times men see it as an invitation for catcalling and all sorts of creepy behavior. I have had my ass grabbed in public by men I have never even talked to. I have had men look at me as if I'm a piece of meat when I was talking to them because they can't help but look at my boobs instead of my face. And in many of these instances, people automatically assumed it's my fault for provoking these men based on what I was wearing. What I was wearing is not relevant because women get treated this way whether they are covered head to tow in a burka or they are wearing a crop top and some shorts. The common denominator is men who objectify women. I understand that if you are at the club, women are more likely to probably want something sexual because of the context and setting. But even then, you need to treat a woman with respect. Dragging her away (emotionally speaking) from her friends when she clearly still wants to be with them or when she is saying that she has to go to work and can't come by your hotel room is manipulation and pressurization and in some cases can border on assault. Again often times women are conditioned to be nice and passive, even in situation where we are not comfortable because standing up for yourself is seen as being bitchy and uptight. Women can choose to sleep around, she can choose to remain celibate til marriage, or anything else in between. That's up to her and any of those things are fine. But pressurizing a woman to do something other wise in either direction, whether it is remaining "pure" or getting her to sleep around, is out of line and makes women uncomfortable. 

@soos_mite_ah The phrase, "don't ask a fish how to hunt it " is used in pick up because girls don't know what attracts them. The man needs to " hunt" aka attract the girl to get the girl, but hunt doesn't mean that all guys just see you as flesh and bones with a hole. Sure the asshole player that you probably have encountered do - but most guys who get into pick up want to get good with girls, cause they can't even " hunt" aka attract a single girl to save his life. Not all guys are manipulative dominant low conciousness assholes.

Listen I of corse get why girls don't like it when that phrase is being used, cause this makes you feel objectified. This because they draw the conclusion that this saying, is encourageing guys to manipulate girl and than use them for sex like that asshoke guy.

That's from how I understand it the biggest problem girls see with pickup, and honestly, it is valid in a sense.

But remember, the saying don't ask a fish how to hunt it, doesn't have to mean that guys should manipulate you, lie to you and use you for sex - but to attract you.

Cause that's basically what all pick up guys want - to attract you. Than some will abuse that power and that's sad, but don't let them take away the meaning of what pick up is. Cause all guys are belive it or not - not psychopathic assholes.

Second. You have to appreciate that attracting a girls is hard. It's not a passive act, as it is for girls. If guys want apperience, girls choose personality. See..

You won't sleep with a homeless 42 year old incel who has an half inch of a dick and who lives in his grandma's basement. You just won't..

This guy, would benefit from learning pick up, cause if he wouldn't than you would discriminate against him.

" But guys want to find someone who accept them as they are - who will accept them even if he is creepy, socially awkward, uncharismatic and needy"

Yet no woman will pick him, no woman will look in the ocean of men and choose to " eat" this fish. That's why pick up was created.

Men try to hunt girls, and girls try to gather men. Both objectifie eachother. Why can't you love that guy? That's so discriminating. In fact guys want to be loved as who they are, not only if you can get what you want from them. ( confidence, security ect)

another way of looking at it is that- guys have to attract woman, and woman choose which one they want. Both are selfish.

Again, Pick up is about learning to attract girls - and without it, you would have a harder to find a valueble man to pluck. Cause there would be less high value men in the ocean, swimming towards you. Girls also like to hunt, but only the big fish 

 

 

Edited January 18, 2021 by SamC

[RendHeaven]

@soos_mite_ah Pickup can also teach shy, harmless men to attract a lovely girlfriend.

Ideally, the process is so seamless that you the woman wouldn't even know that pickup is happening.

Ideal pickup looks like an interesting conversation. Nothing more. 

Catcalling, physical grabbing, and pressuring is not actually a part of any (good) pickup repertoire.

It seems to me like you're conflating degenerate men and horrible, butchered pickup with all pickup.

Everything that you said is real and valid. It's just not the full picture

[Leo Gura]

This again??

[Applegarden]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This again??

Well, its a sign to keep up with the enlightenment work, otherwise this will come and go again and again...

[MrBON]

@Leo Gura When will you start to release videos again? We miss your videos ;(

[mmKay]

pick up = exposing yourself to massive experience with girls.

what you may be missing is just how much less socially savy men are. We are literally autistic compared to women, and that's one of the reasons girls cant fathom why would you ever practice social skills.

I've had extremely introverted female friends and yet I'm just amazed at how naturally socially intuitive and callibrated they are .

Catcalling and grabbing asses on the street is no pick up. Drunk guys hitting on girls is no real pick up.  That's like the opposite. There zero social awareness and empathy to that.

Yes , practicing social skills and attaction may be cringe. But do you know what's more cringe? NOT LEARNING SOCIAL SKILLS and attraction.

EDIT : I read your post. Your idea of what pick up actually is is reeeeally far off. All of the examples you have written are about people that specifically have not practiced attraction and social skills. This cringe and lack of social awareness and empathy is what real pick up cures.

Edited January 18, 2021 by mmKay

[North Sea]

All your feelings are completely valid.

However due to your trauma you can be deluded in your path. That was the biggest issue for me with dealing with trauma, the self deception it causes in situations surrounding your trauma.

I of course dont know whether you are deluded, some of the things you said I agree with some not. But keep your mind open to the possibility that you are deluded.

One thing i will comment about, you said you don’t know whether a man approaches you out of selfish intent or empathy. I hate to break it to you but those things are not close to separate from eachother. Ego is a complicated thing.

 

 

[Parththakkar12]

@soos_mite_ah I understand what you're saying. I'm going to show you the potential solutions and challenges from the male side relative to resolving these issues.

1. Objectification - This is something that humans do to each other in general. The only real way I've seen to not objectify someone is to be enlightened and to see that the other person is you. A human perspective is fundamentally selfish and the only way to not see the other as something to be used to get what you want is to see that the other isn't actually an 'other'.
2. Manipulative control - What you're talking about is shadow leadership, unconscious leadership. To change this strategy requires the male to step into a space of conscious leadership. Really tall order for most men. Most men do not know what this means or how it's done. You would need a man who is constantly checking in with you and whether you feel safe or not. (Which I think is a normal need for women, it's just not normalized because men don't know how to meet it) Most men do not have the incentive to do this.
3. Creepiness - Direct result of objectification. Objectification gives you a free pass to not care about the other person's safety.

Solutions you can implement as a woman from your side:

• Have more control over creating personal safety in general. This could mean creating a list of things that make you feel safe and doing those. Things like warm showers, watching Netflix, etc.
• You can step into your feminine power. This means you get to take full responsibility for who you attract, for what kind of guys are attracted to you. You then get to see what message you are unconsciously sending them that they see as 'asking for it'. I know, it's not deliberate, it's unconscious. It is really hard to face. This will help you see though what attracts guys to you. You can then use that as your strength when it comes to attracting guys you actually want, i.e. repurposing your 'assets' consciously.
• This one could be advanced - committing to the practice of sensuality. If you do this, paradoxically, guys who don't care about your safety will find it very difficult to approach you or figure out how to contain you. Maybe they'll be attracted to you but you will not be controllable. The only guys who will get with you will be the ones who have the patience to get to know you first.

[RendHeaven]

Lol I didn't realize this thread started right after the previous "dumpster fire" 

[soos_mite_ah]

7 hours ago, aurum said:

I wrote a long respond in the previous locked thread, so I won't repeat myself here. But I will say that I agree with much of what you're saying. Pickup can be extremely objectifying and manipulative. I've seen things taught that could qualify as sociopathy. There's a general lack of empathy in the community so it's good that we also hear from women and their side of the story.

I feel that pickup is attempting to replace missing male initiations in society. But it fails to do so because it cannot separate itself from the narratives our society is based on and the general toxicity of our culture.

Reinstitute proper male initiations and PUA will disappear.

Yeah I saw that comment and I thought it was pretty insightful. And I agree with the proper male initiations thing as well. I think I remember seeing a vaush video where he talks about how now a days the proper way of being masculine is muddied by notions of the past that are possibly regressive and an unknown future that we are moving towards and how in order to have a healthy expression of masculinity, men also need to be comfortable with femininity. He also talked about different archetypes of masculinity and how the vast majority doesn't integrated the feminine. If I find that video I'll put it in this thread. 

7 hours ago, Snader said:

And it doesn't necessarily mean that all the problems are within men. Women can also grow a thicker skin and improve their tolerance against those kind of men by understanding and practice. Those kind of men are not yet gone from western culture for some time.

Yeah those types of experiences can give a woman a different point of view when it comes to the themes in pick up more so than pick up itself. Like I said this scratches the surface. I have friends who have encountered much worse. From what I understand, pick up if it is done right and consciously, is going to look pretty natural and charismatic, not sketchy and manipulative like @RendHeaven mentioned. It can be a way of gaining confidence and increasing one's social skills. As for the thicker skin comment, women have been taught to suck it up and brush this stuff off as "boys will be boys" and often times we are blamed for these situations instead of holding men accountable. I know we have a long way to go and this type of thing will stick around for god knows how long. Pretty sure my grandkids would have to deal with this. It seems like trauma to yall, and it is don't get me wrong, but a lot of this has also been normalized as part of the female experience, which I think is dangerous. 

4 hours ago, SamC said:

@soos_mite_ah The phrase, "don't ask a fish how to hunt it " is used in pick up because girls don't know what attracts them. The man needs to " hunt" aka attract the girl to get the girl, but hunt doesn't mean that all guys just see you as flesh and bones with a hole. Sure the asshole player that you probably have encountered do - but most guys who get into pick up want to get good with girls, cause they can't even " hunt" aka attract a single girl to save his life. Not all guys are manipulative dominant low conciousness assholes.

I think that phrase is a good way of describing self bias and self agenda. To a woman, it's more about the themes that it draws parallel to (predator vs prey, being dominated in a social setting, manipulation etc.). Again, I'm not trying to disagree, I'm just trying to explain our perception is coming from and what is shaping it. I guess the other thing with women is that the decent guys don't approach as often and it usually the loudest, most obnoxious individuals that end up getting the attention so we get this false sense of scarcity. Because if a guy never approaches me, I'm never going to know if it's because he is anxious or simply not interested. Instead it's the bold ones usually the creeps or fuck boys that approach and sometimes they do it in cringy or low conscious ways. 

2 hours ago, mmKay said:

Catcalling and grabbing asses on the street is no pick up. Drunk guys hitting on girls is no real pick up.  That's like the opposite. There zero social awareness and empathy to that.

Yes , practicing social skills and attaction may be cringe. But do you know what's more cringe? NOT LEARNING SOCIAL SKILLS and attraction.

EDIT : I read your post. Your idea of what pick up actually is is reeeeally far off. All of the examples you have written are about people that specifically have not practiced attraction and social skills. This cringe and lack of social awareness and empathy is what real pick up cures.

I have tried to raise the point of leading with empathy instead of blatant sexual intent in other threads numerous times. You can be empathetic and direct when approaching a girl and not be overtly sexual to where she gets uncomfortable. She will still get the message that you are interested in her. A lot of the times when I say this, I get told by  guys "oh you're just saying that because you're self biased, this is how guys get friendzoned." Because of that, sometimes I get this image of pick up being devoid of empathy. But if what you are saying about pick up being about social awareness, I'm for it even if in the intial stages of learning social skills is a little awkward. I'm willing to look into this subject tbh. 

2 hours ago, North Sea said:

One thing i will comment about, you said you don’t know whether a man approaches you out of selfish intent or empathy. I hate to break it to you but those things are not close to separate from eachother. Ego is a complicated thing.

I mean you won't really know if it's selfish intent or empathy until you spend some time getting to know a guy. But when it comes to approaching, often times women can get a general impression. I guess what I mean by my examples is blatantly selfish and lacking social tact, so maybe that's where the miscommunication lies. Telling a woman you think she is attractive is much more empathetic than catcalling her for example.  That's what I was talking about. 

Edited January 19, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[Arcangelo]

7 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

when people say "don't ask a rabbit how to hunt" or "don't ask a fish how to catch them"

It's just a metaphor

 

7 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

if you manipulate her in the right way, you can get what you want from her.

That is true and it works both ways

 

7 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

The common denominator is men who objectify women.

Yeah we live in a stage orange society. BUT a lot of women objectify men, they see them as walking wallets. So it goes both ways.

 

 

 

[diamondpenguin]

We might need to fire extinguisher to put out this dumpster fire. ?

[aurum]

4 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

think I remember seeing a vaush video where he talks about how now a days the proper way of being masculine is muddied by notions of the past that are possibly regressive and an unknown future that we are moving towards and how in order to have a healthy expression of masculinity, men also need to be comfortable with femininity.

Yes that's right.

This is what Elliot Hulse and other "make men strong again" promoters seem to be missing.

Certainly, men can have repressed masculine energy. But from I see, the reason most men appear weak is because they haven't integrated their feminine.

But because we associate femininity with weakness, anything that smacks of the feminine can't be the solution. It must mean we need more masculine energy.