I pussied out again - Hating myself

[Striving for more]

I pussied out again & have this feeling of lingering self hatred. 

This has gone on for too long. 

I don't know what to do. Should I try find an accountability partner on this forum? Or is that me just not being independent & getting on with it. 

I only get chances to appraoch so often due a mix of factors. 

All the nootropics in the world won't work on your energy after pussying out, it depletes me inside. It's the "Loser effect".

Only so much game theory is useful. Ultimately if i'm gonna pussy oout all the game in the world is useless. I need to be a winner. 

I can't concentrate on my goals now, I hate being a pussy. I can't accept myself right now. 

My life & actions does not match my standards, it's too painful. 

Edited January 16, 2021 by Striving for more

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, Striving for more said:

My life & actions does not match my standards

then lower them

[Javfly33]

It's kind of pointless to approach with covid.

Just wait until it passes and focus on other stuff. Is what I am doing

[Striving for more]

10 minutes ago, Rilles said:

then lower them

Bad advice. No. 

Fuck that. I have higher standards, I'm making them even higher. 

 

Edited January 16, 2021 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

Just now, Javfly33 said:

It's kind of pointless to approach with covid.

Not true. Got good signals & was in open not crowded space. 

 

1 minute ago, Javfly33 said:

Just wait until it passes and focus on other stuff. Is what I am doing

Somewhat true. BUT came across the girl naturally & there was nothing to lose in the moment. 

I am not obssessed with approaching right now due to the situation, but when the oppurtunity naturally comes, it's better to take it. 

Also, because I pussied out, that fucked up my dopamine & now it's harder to "focus on other stuff". 

It's not like I expected to get laid, but I wanted that proud feeling after overcoming the fear + a bit of connection & practice is always good. 

[Striving for more]

@Javfly33

8 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

It's kind of pointless to approach with covid.

Just wait until it passes and focus on other stuff. Is what I am doing

I want to be the 1%. 

I want to be getting the majority of pussy in whatever circumstance. 

It's a long journey though, I may have to accept it won't happen soon. 

But I want to get to the point where I have abundance of options no matter what. 

I will not settle for the results of the herd. I will not lose. 

[Gesundheit]

@Striving for more It helps to remember that girls are just human beings.

It's a lot easier to approach with a wingman. Call up your best friend and get down now before the frustration goes away. Use the current emotions as a motivating energy. Go. Now.

Edited January 16, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Rilles]

34 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

Bad advice. No. 

Fuck that. I have higher standards, I'm making them even higher. 

 

Lol, then keep being dissappointed. 

[SamC]

@Striving for more

Look at what I wrote about this also. ( in my thread where you repiled)

Edited January 16, 2021 by SamC

[Javfly33]

34 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

@Javfly33

I want to be the 1%. 

I want to be getting the majority of pussy in whatever circumstance. 

It's a long journey though, I may have to accept it won't happen soon. 

But I want to get to the point where I have abundance of options no matter what. 

I will not settle for the results of the herd. I will not lose. 

I don't predict a successful future with that amount of ego stubbornness.

It's deeply counter intuitive, but Let go and surrender is part of game. Some times those cards are the best ones to play to advance

[Striving for more]

@Gesundheit

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

@Striving for more It helps to remember that girls are just human beings.

It's a lot easier to approach with a wingman. Call up your best friend and get down now before the frustration goes away. Use the current emotions as a motivating energy. Go. Now.

1. I dont have friends

2. Ive never met a friend whos into self improvement before. 

Its not easy to find. Its not common.

Especially in this time. 

Cant rely on a wing anyway. Just gotta not be a pussy

[Striving for more]

@Rilles lol, irrelevant advice. 

you get whatever matches your standards. 

my standards are obviously too low. 

good thing I think for myseld, or id be accepting shitty advice

[Rilles]

12 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

@Rilles

my standards are obviously too low. 

yet your name is "striving for more" 

[Striving for more]

@Rilles

3 minutes ago, Rilles said:

yet your name is "striving for more" 

It's a just a name. I didn't exactly spend time analysing it. & Yes I am "striving for more", doesn't mean it's a straight simple path 

I wish I had more random name with 0 connotation so people didn't go "hey look I thought you were striving for more" lolz

[Striving for more]

@SamC

1 hour ago, SamC said:

@Striving for more

Look at what I wrote about this also. ( in my thread where you repiled)

I've seen your comment. It was helpful & it did make me feel better. Thanks alot.

[Rilles]

9 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

@Rilles

It's a just a name. I didn't exactly spend time analysing it. & Yes I am "striving for more", doesn't mean it's a straight simple path 

I wish I had more random name with 0 connotation so people didn't go "hey look I thought you were striving for more" lolz

alright let me put it like this "I want to be the 1% that gets the majority of the pussy" yet you "pussy out". Youre at step 1-2 yet you want to be at step 50, of course you feel miserable, you need to be realistic about where youre at. Youre incredibly mean to yourself too, your attitude can be felt in how you speak to me too, you put yourself down in the same way as you try to put me down, work on your self-love and attitude.  

Edited January 16, 2021 by Rilles

[Striving for more]

@Rilles

10 minutes ago, Rilles said:

alright let me put it like this "I want to be the 1% that gets the majority of the pussy" yet you "pussy out". Youre at step 1-2 yet you want to be at step 50, of course you feel miserable, you need to be realistic about where youre at. Youre incredibly mean to yourself too, youre attitude can be felt in how you speak to me too, you put yourself down in the same as you try to put me down, work on your self-love and attitude.  

That's a good comment. Can't really deny your point there. 

I'm too obsessed with being at the final destination, & I compare myself to others too much in my head. when paradoxically I need to cut all that shit to be able to focus & put in the work that will get me where I want to go. 

I'm meant to be studying my online stuff right now that will help me make extra income, & my energy is already so drained from the ruminating thoughts about how I have low social status & I'm a fucking coward. Maybe I need to stop caring about social status. 

It's partly because I grew up always being verbally abused by family, teachers & fake friends, girls thinking their superior calling me a loser. Was always put down & patronized.  I just want to blow up & show people, throw it in their face & laugh at them while those lazy fucks are stuck in mediocrity. 

My ego is so hungry. 

People talk about stage green & yellow & I have that side to me, infinite love, MDMA, weed, stroking a dog & shit. But this other side ^ it fills my psyche at least 60% of the time. 

I need to let it all go I guess. 

 

I spend so much time overthinking, god dam it I need to stop it & just FOCUS, for fuck sake. So much futile mental masturbation. 

Edited January 16, 2021 by Striving for more

[Rilles]

26 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

@Rilles

That's a good comment. Can't really deny your point there. 

I'm too obsessed with being at the final destination, & I compare myself to others too much in my head. when paradoxically I need to cut all that shit to be able to focus & put in the work that will get me where I want to go. 

I'm meant to be studying my online stuff right now that will help me make extra income, & my energy is already so drained from the ruminating thoughts about how I have low social status & I'm a fucking coward. Maybe I need to stop caring about social status. 

It's partly because I grew up always being verbally abused by family, teachers & fake friends, girls thinking their superior calling me a loser. Was always put down & patronized.  I just want to blow up & show people, throw it in their face & laugh at them while those lazy fucks are stuck in mediocrity. 

My ego is so hungry. 

People talk about stage green & yellow & I have that side to me, infinite love, MDMA, weed, stroking a dog & shit. But this other side ^ it fills my psyche at least 60% of the time. 

I need to let it all go I guess. 

 

I spend so much time overthinking, god dam it I need to stop it & just FOCUS, for fuck sake. So much futile mental masturbation. 

I really suggest you work on your inner self-talk, cut out words like "failure, pussy, coward, idiot, loser" and replace it with "hell yeah, i can do this, its okay to fail sometimes because i can always get back up, im a strong motherfucker" etc. 

After all... Self-love + pussy feels better than Self-loathing + pussy.  

[Leo Gura]

There will never be a replacement for just doing it.

[Value]

Maybe try and find a way to make it fun and/or build up gradually?