Girls... who have you felt understands you the best?

[Hardkill]

1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Like what @Preety_India said, this is about standards not whether or not a woman is ok with a casual relationship. I watched this video and I would say it's over all really good advice for men. As someone with standards, while I'm not looking for a casual relationship at the moment, if I were to be seeking something casual, I would want a guy to be up front with me on his intentions. I wouldn't want him to be manipulative and dishonest with me, promise me something he has no intentions with following up on, and then leave me as soon as he is done fucking me. If you want to have a casual relationship with a woman, being up front will help you a lot because honesty will build trust and even in casual situation, a woman needs a certain degree of trust to want to have sex. 

There is nothing wrong with women who want a casual relationship or want to sleep around. But even those women, if they are quality women who have standards (or hell a woman with common sense and a desire for personal safety), aren't going to put up with creepy behavior which include but not limited to feeling pressurized or manipulated by men into something they aren't comfortable with. I know they say don't stick your dick into crazy and honestly that applies for women as well. Don't let crazy stick their dick in you. If you're going to do pick up, make sure it is a higher quality of pick up that doesn't disrespect women and their agenda and most importantly their boundaries. 

Yeah, I totally agree. That's why I've always followed the authentic honest ways of seducing women.

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It is a myth that girls at the club are "sluts". They are no more sluts than any other girl. All girls will have sex when emotionally stimulated in the right ways. Stop thinking you're special or above that.

Well I learned that word from you. 

 

Edited January 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Hardkill]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It is a myth that girls at the club are "sluts". They are no more sluts than any other girl. All girls will have sex when emotionally stimulated in the right ways. Stop thinking you're special or above that.

That's true. In fact, there are more girls than you would realize who have had casual sex before.

[Emerald]

51 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

To each his own. Everyone has different perspectives and preferences. 

I don't have internalized misogyny so don't put that to me. 

I was talking about standards and boundaries. 

And different people look at the same aspect differently. 

I'm just pointing out that you're passing judgment towards women by making these hard and fast categories. And I'm telling you that this is unhealthy because these judgments can create internalized misogyny. This is because those judgments will come back on you... as a judgment outward always becomes a judgment inward. 

It's not about having a preference for abstaining from sex for a certain length of time. That's perfectly fine and healthy if it is an expression of what feels right to you.

The problem comes from you categorizing women into this worthy vs unworthy binary based on their sexual behavior... which is a symptom of internalized misogyny. And I say that with no judgment towards you. I'm just pointing something out.

And I feel like you're bringing up the fact that everyone has different perspectives and preferences to avoid owning up to the problems inherent in your perspective and what it reflects in regards to your feelings about women.

So, while you are entitled to your perspective, that doesn't mean that your perspective is healthy.

Mind you, I never said you weren't allowed to have your own perspective. I just pointed out that there are some things that are fundamentally not good for your self-esteem about your perspective. 

Edited January 18, 2021 by Emerald

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The problem comes from you categorizing women into this worthy vs unworthy binary based on their sexual behavior... which is a symptom of internalized misogyny.

Oh now come on, I should not have a perspective on sexual behaviors. That's like unhealthy to me tbh. 

 

[Preety_India]

15 minutes ago, Khr said:

I have a fucking right to judge when someone is being toxic, lmao. Get off your high horse. Calling other women sluts says more about you and how insecure you are to have to put down others to feel good about yourself and what a “high quality” woman you are.

Everyone has their definition of what that word means. And you can't decide what someone thinks. 

 

[Emerald]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Oh now come on, I should not have a perspective on sexual behaviors. That's like unhealthy to me tbh. 

It isn't about the behavior. You can believe that hooking up is unhealthy in the same way that you can believe that eating a certain type of food is unhealthy.

But the issue I'm pointing out, is about the people attached to the behavior whom you're judging the worth of.

There is a difference between the two. You can believe that promiscuity is unhealthy without diminishing the value of those who are promiscuous and creating these binary categories of female worth.

You can also understand that your belief in the unhealthiness of hooking up doesn't actually reflect a universal truth... and that women who hook-up might be simply subscribing to a different value system.

 

Edited January 18, 2021 by Emerald

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Khr said:

Stop the gaslighting and own up to your mistakes. I mentioned the formal definition of a slut (aka a prostitute) as someone who has sex for work. You obviously used it in a derogatory way. 

Actually the word slut, as a derogatory term, refers to a woman who enjoys sex and has a lot of sex with many partners.

The derogatory term whore is the word that refers to prostitutes. 

Basically, the idea is that sluts do it for the enjoyment, whores do it for the money. 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Khr said:

Stop the gaslighting and own up to your mistakes. I mentioned the formal definition of a slut (aka a prostitute) as someone who has sex for work. You obviously used it in a derogatory way. 

 

No that's not what it means. It can mean a lot of things.

It can mean promiscuous sexual behavior.

Stop preaching me and teaching me. 

There is absolutely no mistake in what I said. 

Most people are aware of what that word generally applies to. 

[Emerald]

Just now, Khr said:

Yes, thank you for clarification. In any case, my point was that no one should label a woman as a slut because it is very toxic - both internally and externally.

Agreed

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Khr said:

So what does promiscuous sexual behaviour mean, oh the wise? Is slut someone who has 2 men? 5 men? You know that some people may call you a slut because you had sex and are not married. Do you want to go down that road?

It means different things to different people. 

Omg that's an ambiguous term. 

 

[Preety_India]

10 minutes ago, Khr said:

Yes, of course. Because when you are being toxic it’s just “omggggg.... it’s not a big deallll”, but you are so quick to jump down other people’s throats.

Owning up to ones mistakes is maturity.

No its you who thinks something is toxic. Having a definition on a term is not toxic just because you want to sit on your high horse and judge me as a bad. You're nobody to say that it's a mistake. 

There is no mistake and there is no immaturity.

Stop acting like you have the right to preach others on how they should think. 

Edited January 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Just now, Khr said:

I am not a nobody. You don’t even have basic respect towards people. I am seeing big ego issues here (my opinion that I have a right to). The reason why I even engaged in this argument is because it is a fact that it is toxic to call someone a slut and I will always call it out - no matter how you try to protect your ego. I won’t waste time on this because this is hopeless.

You think that it's toxic. I don't think that it's toxic. 

I am fully within my right to hold my views and opinions. I have called a specific behavior promiscuous behavior. 

You're the one who is acting like you have the higher ground here.

Nobody has a superior or inferior opinions. People can think what they want as long as it's not a personal attack on you. 

Stop guilting me when I'm sorry for nothing. 

I'm not replying to you anymore because you won't stop.

I already said the same thing a dozen times. 

I'm done with it. 

If you can't move on, your problem. 

 

[Gesundheit]

@Emerald 

Please stop painting women's sexuality as something more special and sophisticated than men's. We're all just human beings with human emotions/desires and survival needs. There's nothing more sophisticated about women's survival than men's survival, just the ways each of them manifest in.

Pick Up is not designed to boost the survival of women. It is designed to boost the survival of men, regardless of women's agendas, because everyone is equal and out there for themselves. Just like feminism is designed to boost women's survival, not men's. (You can't have everything). And both of them absolutely work.
Pick Up boosts a man's attraction, and there's not a single bit of doubt about that. When a woman finds a man attractive, it's absolutely identical to when a man finds a woman attractive. There's no need to paint women's sexuality as more sophisticated than men's, because it absolutely is not. When a woman finds a man charming, she is likely willing to be sleeping with him as soon as possible. That's the rule of thumb, but there are rare exceptions. And the same thing applies to men. A man just can't wait to be sleeping with a hot woman, but there are rare exceptions too. The exceptions in general are women who are strategic thinkers/have social expectations or people have certain standards/conservatives. And even within these exceptions, there will be exceptions, and people will fail severely and repeatedly at holding themselves against an attractive person. Because sexual desire is such a strong force that almost no one has the ability to stop or perfectly control, especially when young. When an experienced PUA plays his moves on a woman, it's more or less like a woman showing her boobs to a man. At that point, the woman won't likely think that he might be a serial killer or that he's even playing a fake persona, because these possibilities couldn't exist in such a charming guy, according to her worldview. You see how this works? In the emotional/intuitive system, this is how it's interpreted: Charming Character = Natural (irreversible equation). This is the basic code of how women judge men. But notice, it's not the other way around. Natural does not necessarily mean having a charming character. And this is a huge bug in that evaluation system (emotional/intuitive), which can be, and is most certainly exploited.

You may be an exception here, but most people aren't above their sexual desire by any means. And a lot of women lie about their history, rightfully so, for social inconvenience. Men exaggerate, and women do the opposite. So, excuse me if I don't take most women's input into this.

Edited January 18, 2021 by Gesundheit

[soos_mite_ah]

@Khr @Preety_India @Emerald

This might be a tangent but I have seen the term slut be used in two ways. The most commonly used one is where a woman liking sex and having a lot of sex is referred to as a derogatory term used to undermine female sexuality. The other way is where a woman doesn't have many standards and doesn't have the healthiest reasons for having a lot of sex (I've seen slut be used in this way a few times here and there but not too often). There seems to be a overlap because there is a common misconception where if you have a lot of sexual partners, then you either don't value yourself highly or you don't have standards. But in a lot of cases, having standards or a lack there of and having a lots of sexual partners vs having a few, are two separate traits. 

For example, lets say you have a woman who has a few partners, lets say 2 and she slept with them because she wanted to prove something to herself or she didn't want to express her own boundaries. To the person who uses the second definition of a slut where a slut refers to a lack of standards and a lack of healthy reasons for having sex, this woman is a slut. To the person who uses the first definition of a slut, this example isn't an example of a slut. 

Another example is a woman who sleeps around a lot but she is doing it for healthy reasons like lets say she wants to explore her sexuality more. This woman isn't coming from a place of trauma, sleeping around is actually the right decision for her and her self discovery. To the people who use the first definition of a slut, this woman is a slut but if you use the second definition, this person isn't a slut because her desire to engage in this type of behavior is coming from an authentic source. 

Sometimes I see this type of miscommunication where one party is using one definition of slut and the other party is using the other. And the best way I deal with it is by not having slut as a part of my vocabulary (mainly because it can be seen as derogatory in many cases) because it can lead to miscommunication. To me, a woman's (or really any person's respect for themselves) respect for herself is not reflected in where her boundaries lie and what she is ok with but rather her ability to enforce her boundaries and stand up for herself regardless of where she stands. Every person's expression of authenticity is different and different things can be healthy and empowering to different people so you can't say any hard and fast rules about what should and shouldn't be ok or where boundaries need to lie. But it is up to an individual to respect their own authenticity and stand up for themselves if they personally feel that their boundary might be crossed.  I hope that makes sense and I would like to know what yall think. 

[Snader]

I'd like to share my view on this topic before Leo closes this thread

About the ''whether women should have sex before or after some dating'' part: To be honest, women always want something from men if they are to take things any further; it could be sex, long term relationship, intimacy and bonding, a friend, experience, money, social status, security, etc... you name it. It could also be a mix of many. If you see it's more right from one particular perspective, you're being biased. What is the thing women want is a combination of their beliefs, values and personality which are linked to ones consciousness development. But that's only the logical part.

About the effect of emotional hype when let's say trying to get her in bed: Yeah for some women who tend to be more masculine it is harder to let go of the principles and norms of what they want, but I've experienced so many times that on the right state of mind under the right emotional stimulus woman's notions of who they think they are and who they want to sleep with can disappear like a fart in the wind. That's also why alcohol makes women more spontaneous as it paralyzes the part of the brain that evaluates things from rational perspective. I would say that in general as a woman it is very easy to speculate this matter behind a screen when not being affected by the emotions.

When I studied there was a girl few years older than me in the party circles who's looks I found perfect but I decided not to move on because all the male traffic around her. I never really even spoke to her. One night at a club she just randomly came to me and asked me to leave the club with her. She wasn't into one night stands AT ALL -- even bit against them. To her one night stands were ''too awkward''. But she found me too attractive at the moment to give a shit. We ended up dating for almost 2 years.

[Preety_India]

@soos_mite_ah  the problem is not so much with the definition of a term or its miscommunication. 

The problem is the perspective and the right to hold that perspective and not impose your (does not mean you here) perspective on someone else's. 

For example, I can call Trump a dictator, maybe for someone else he is not a dictator. But I perceive him as a dictator. 

There is no common ground in such a case. There is no acceptable definition because most terms that are descriptive are ambiguous and their meanings are heavily conditioned by the opinions of the perceiver. 

Same goes for the terms like ugly or beautiful. And the same applies to terms like slut and player. 

I can call a guy a player for having multiple relationships whereas for someone else his behavior could be considered perfectly normal.

We only have to accept that people have different perspectives. 

 

[Leo Gura]

Welp, this turned into a dumpster fire. Thanks for playing.

[Moon]

Although I don't agree with everything being said (the recent heated discussion). 

Lovely girlies @Khr @Preety_India
Use this as a learning experience, if you're going round in circles during arguments, increase your awareness/mindfulness and take care of yourselves please! Your peace of mind is more important than getting at the other person (which turns into an endless argument and waste of time!) ??

Try putting yourself in the other person's shoes (even if you hate where they're coming from), empathize deeply and move on! You can't change anyone with such arguments.