Girls... who have you felt understands you the best?

[Abdelghafar]

This is off-topic here @Preety_India, but I have been meaning to ask you, are you by any chance an ENFJ/ESFJ?

[Jasmine Voit]

26 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

What she meant is that she doesn't prefer to have sex right away. 

She wants an emotional kinda relationship before the sexual relationship begins. 

And that's perfectly fine. She just wants a feeling of safety and connection with the guy. 

A lot of women feel insecure when deciding to sleep with a man. 

Women tend to loosen up if they feel a sense of emotional connection with a man and that's when they also open up sexually as well 

 

 

Yes. As long as both people involved are honestly communicating and actively listening to what one another wants— all the misunderstandings and time wasting will probably be avoided.
 

I think we all (women and men) can feel wronged if we aren’t honest with ourselves or the other person. Its also important to not force oneself onto the other because sexual assault is extremely traumatic. I am aware that that is a completely different topic, but it happens when one doesn’t listen, unfortunately. Hopefully no one here would ever even consider that

Edited January 18, 2021 by Jasmine Voit

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Ahahahahaha....

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Ahahahahaha....

Bwahahahahahaha

 

 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Abdelghafar said:

This is off-topic here @Preety_India, but I have been meaning to ask you, are you by any chance an ENFJ/ESFJ?

I'm Leo's doppelganger in that department. 

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Jasmine Voit said:

Yes. As long as both people involved are honestly communicating and actively listening to what one another wants— all the misunderstandings and time wasting will probably be avoided.
 

I think we all (women and men) can feel wronged if we aren’t honest with ourselves or the other person. Its also important to not force oneself onto the other because sexual assault is extremely traumatic. I am aware that that is a completely different topic, but it happens, unfortunately. Hopefully no one here would ever even consider that

Yeah I agree. Honesty is not taught in pickup environments. Kinda sucks. 

The whole fish thing 

[Abdelghafar]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

I'm Leo's doppelganger in that department. 

 

[Hello from Russia]

Destigmatizing PUA is such a hollow effort, It is although women's ego is served by not understanding it (while they will gladly take good aspects of it when it comes their way)

Edited January 18, 2021 by Hello from Russia

[Preety_India]

11 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

Destigmatizing PUA is such a hollow effort, It is although women's ego is served by not understanding it (while they will gladly take good aspects of it when it comes their way)

Women are selfish 

Men are selfish 

Everyone is selfish 

End of the story 

[MrBON]

Leo versus the entire female fandom of this forum

A battle of Titans

[Hardkill]

13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Women are selfish 

Men are selfish 

Everyone is selfish 

End of the story 

Have you watched Sex and the City. All of those women, especially Samantha represent a lot of real life modern western who enjoy casual sex from time to time. Also, watch this:

 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Hardkill said:

Have you watched Sex and the City. All of those women, especially Samantha represent a lot of real life modern western who enjoy casual sex from time to time. Also, watch this:

 

 

I was talking about standards. There are low standards and there are high standards. 

 

[soos_mite_ah]

20 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Have you watched Sex and the City. All of those women, especially Samantha represent a lot of real life modern western who enjoy casual sex from time to time. Also, watch this:

 

Like what @Preety_India said, this is about standards not whether or not a woman is ok with a casual relationship. I watched this video and I would say it's over all really good advice for men. As someone with standards, while I'm not looking for a casual relationship at the moment, if I were to be seeking something casual, I would want a guy to be up front with me on his intentions. I wouldn't want him to be manipulative and dishonest with me, promise me something he has no intentions with following up on, and then leave me as soon as he is done fucking me. If you want to have a casual relationship with a woman, being up front will help you a lot because honesty will build trust and even in casual situation, a woman needs a certain degree of trust to want to have sex. 

There is nothing wrong with women who want a casual relationship or want to sleep around. But even those women, if they are quality women who have standards (or hell a woman with common sense and a desire for personal safety), aren't going to put up with creepy behavior which include but not limited to feeling pressurized or manipulated by men into something they aren't comfortable with. I know they say don't stick your dick into crazy and honestly that applies for women as well. Don't let crazy stick their dick in you. If you're going to do pick up, make sure it is a higher quality of pick up that doesn't disrespect women and their agenda and most importantly their boundaries. 

Edited January 18, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[Emerald]

4 hours ago, aurum said:

Yesterday I was at a spiritual workshop where we were healing the divine feminine / masculine within us.

As I was spilling my guys to a woman who was supposed to represent the divine feminine for me, I had talk about how distorted my view of femininity and women in general had become over the years.

Because of all the negative experiences I had in the past, my perception was so biased against women. Pickup fit into that world view.

It's a nuanced issue because on the one hand, I know how it can benefit guys. I was a part of that community for a while and it did help.

But ultimately, it still presents a distorted form of sexuality / dating.

What's even more interesting is that the feminine is so repressed, that even women don't always seem to realize it. They think this is normal and what healthy sexuality looks like.

And certainly we don't need to moralize against people who engage in a more surface level form of dating. But I don't find it fits with my current world view.

Pickup paints this picture that you are in charge of your dating life. Meeting a girl is an act of will that you can control. When in reality, I find that I meet a girl when the time is right. And most of the time it's not because of anything I "did".

If anything, it's like the universe decides that it's time for us to meet. And when that happens, the most bizarre circumstances can bring you together.

That timeline for that happening is also not necessarily on the "pickup" timeline. It could be fast, but it also could take a long time.

It's not about being passive. It's about really listening to what you want and feels good. What you feel guided to do.

Maybe that's approaching. But maybe it's nothing at all.

In other words, there's a lot of "force" that goes on in pickup. Guys trying to force themselves to approach. Guys trying to force themselves to be attractive. Forcing everything.

Maybe that's a useful paradigm for a while, but eventually you got to let that go.

I don't doubt that there's a conscious way to teach guys how to meet women. But so far I've seen very little of it.

This is exactly what I'm trying to get across. 

It isn't the fact that pick-up exists that's a negative thing. It's totally understandable that such a need exists. And I probably would do some pick-up if I were a guy. It's probably the best thing to do if a guy is in a space where he doesn't really know how to interact with women or has a fear of approaching. Or if a guy just wants to have a variety of sexual experiences, that's understandable too. In this way, it's really helpful.

The issue is that it sets up a simplified and distorted view of female sexuality that's both straightforward and easy to systematically respond to... to where certain formulas can be applied. It kind of compresses female sexuality into the format of male sexuality to make it more understandable and user friendly.

And because it's an easy and effective system for attracting sex, a lot of men stay in that simplified conceptualization of the female sexual experience. This is because it gives the illusion of truth and thus control over the situation, it can really get in the way of their ability to genuinely connect with and understand women beyond the attraction phase. But not just that. It really chokes out and invalidates what's real and true about the female perspective relative to dating and relationships.

And I can personally attest to the fact that the PUA perspective is a distortion, even if it is a useful distortion. And that's because I have done a lot of introspection into my own sexuality and internal attraction dynamics with the same lens that I explore other things with. And the insights that I've had, have been hard-won, even as I am a woman... largely due to society misrepresenting the female experience (particularly in regard to sex/relationships). I've really had to reinvent the wheel to get to know myself on that level.

So, it does irk me a bit that so many PUAs will be like "Don't listen to her. Women don't know better. Don't ask a fish how to catch them" when I'm giving some really honest direct insights into the female experience over here.  

And the ability to look deeper at female sexuality will be necessary if the man in question really wants to cultivate a deep connection to a particular woman.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

In that case the relationship hasn't begun. 

But I understand what you're trying to get at. 

You're saying that you wanna date the guy, get to know him before you are in his bed. 

And that's perfectly normal.

Women don't simply go around having sex. 

Don't let the guys on the forum fool you. No woman does that, trust me. 

Any woman who does that is a perfect fool 

There is no free sex in this world. 

 

They need to know if the guy is safe or not. They have to do their checklist. 

Real women aren't looser than a baby tooth. 

That's why these pickup men flock clubs to find club sluts to sleep with because they are loose 

With real women, these men are going to have a much harder time. 

Just think for a minute. If these women slept with one man who looks attractive, then they get approached every week, are they gonna sleep with a different dude every week??? 

If they did that, they will end up with all sorts of STDs 

 

A lot of the numbers these guys make up are fake numbers or just club sluts. The type who would bed over a drink or Coke. 

Just dont listen to all this bullshit. 

You're a high quality woman. 

High quality woman wait for a nice guy to come along and only offer sex when they know he is the man they want.

 

No dignified woman simply goes around spreading her legs to all sorts of men she finds attractive just because she thinks he is a good guy. 

Don't listen to this western bullshit. Half of what you read is bollocks and not true at all. 

I speak to western women everyday. 

And no dignified western woman simply sleeps with a man.. 

Don't let Pick up men fool you into believing that that's the norm. 

There is a reason why all these dudes having such a hard time getting laid. 

Because no woman wants to simply sleep with them for nothing. 

A woman wants a solid relationship that these men just cannot provide and they come heckling here. 

 

 

With all due respect, this is just not a healthy way to look at women with the 'real women don't have sex right away" or the 'real women are looking for a solid relationship' narrative. This can pit you against your natural sexual drives, which may become stained with shame as a result. It can also lead to some internalized misogyny and come back to impact your sense of self-worth. 

Now, some women ARE looking for a solid relationship (probably most) and others are just looking for sexual experiences. And that's okay.

And some women will want to wait for a while once they're in a relationship. And other women will want to have sex right away when they're in a relationship. I know I'm usually in the latter camp when I really like a guy. I just do what feels right intuitively. I don't have hard and fast rules. But the thing that makes this possible for me to do is that I can always tell when a guy is really interested in me... versus just being interested in sex. So, having sex right away in a relationship just feels natural.

And I don't even get into the thought about sex being transactional and something I have to withhold and all that stuff. That just complicates things and gets people out of touch with their natural sexual feelings. 

Sex can be an expression of love and appreciation at its best. And this requires following your heart and not getting caught up in the weeds of these kinds of mindsets around sexuality and relationship. It's difficult to do because there's a lot of slut shaming and a lot of guys who are users out there. But once you get the spidey sense for who's trustworthy and a deeper connection to the intuition, it becomes a lot clearer who is a solid person and who is flakey.

 

 

[Preety_India]

10 minutes ago, Emerald said:

With all due respect, this is just not a healthy way to look at women with the 'real women don't have sex right away" or the 'real women are looking for a solid relationship' narrative. This can pit you against your natural sexual drives, which may become stained with shame as a result. It can also lead to some internalized misogyny and come back to impact your sense of self-worth. 

Now, some women ARE looking for a solid relationship (probably most) and others are just looking for sexual experiences. And that's okay.

And some women will want to wait for a while once they're in a relationship. And other women will want to have sex right away when they're in a relationship. I know I'm usually in the latter camp when I really like a guy. I just do what feels right intuitively. I don't have hard and fast rules. But the thing that makes this possible for me to do is that I can always tell when a guy is really interested in me... versus just being interested in sex. So, having sex right away in a relationship just feels natural.

And I don't even get into the thought about sex being transactional and something I have to withhold and all that stuff. That just complicates things and gets people out of touch with their natural sexual feelings. 

Sex can be an expression of love and appreciation at its best. And this requires following your heart and not getting caught up in the weeds of these kinds of mindsets around sexuality and relationship. It's difficult to do because there's a lot of slut shaming and a lot of guys who are users out there. But once you get the spidey sense for who's trustworthy and a deeper connection to the intuition, it becomes a lot clearer who is a solid person and who is flakey.

 

 

To each his own. Everyone has different perspectives and preferences. 

I don't have internalized misogyny so don't put that to me. 

I was talking about standards and boundaries. 

And different people look at the same aspect differently. 

 

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Khr said:

How is it ok for you to call a woman who is maybe a bit more sexually free a “club slut”? You would go craaaaazy if a guy called a woman that way. Especially since you are a woman yourself and you constantly complain about all the struggles women go through. You even made a post about this recently - why is female game frowned upon. This shows extreme lack of self awareness. 

Because that's my perspective and I've every right to my perspective. Everyone has a right to their opinion. I'm not looking at that as slut shaming. Maybe if a woman is flirting with a guy and being looked at with contempt is slut shaming in my eyes. So different people are going to have different definitions of the same thing. 

You can't control how people think. 

Edited January 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Khr said:

You don’t have a right to be abusive and name call people. You literally used the word slut - how much more slut shaming can it get? Unless a woman takes money for sex she shouldn’t be called a slut. And how do you call people who gaslight and don’t take responsibility?

Hello, I didn't name call you ok. Spare me your outrage. I have the right to define what the word slut means in my own way.

Who are you to dictate me what it's definition should be? 

Who are you to decide that a woman who takes money for sex is a slut? 

Don't impose your opinions on others and dictate them how to define things. 

Did I call you anything? No.. So you shouldn't have any reason to be outraged. 

 

Just like how you think that a woman exchanging sex for money is a slut, I think that a woman who sleeps around with several men is a slut. 

If you can call women idiots and you can have your own opinion, then hello, why can't I have my opinions ?? 

 

 

Edited January 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Khr said:

I have the reason to be outraged, it doesn’t matter who you call a slut. Lmao, who are you to tell me when I should be outraged? Check your own crown princess. Plus I am not outraged, I am pointing out the idiocracy and hypocrisy here. But I think I learned my lesson here - some people just always need to be right and there is no point in trying to talk rationally to them. 

The hypocrisy is when you freely call women idiots. That's the real hypocrisy. 

 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Khr said:

That is not a mysoginistic gender based term that women have been fighting against for ages. Everyone can be an idiot.

But you don't have the right to judge if you get outraged by others judgement 

[Leo Gura]

It is a myth that girls at the club are "sluts". They are no more sluts than any other girl. All girls will have sex when emotionally stimulated in the right ways. Stop thinking you're special or above that.