FAMOUS RANTS

[Origins]

Self explanatory (definitely need this to be a separate journal)
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[Origins]

13th of January - Legendary incident of existential non-negotiable fuckery:

Note to self:

Always remember to tell cops where to shove it like I did today.

Arrogant prick I put him in his place and he couldn't do shit about it other than watch me laugh as I walk off.

Thinking you had any authority over me after you passed your police exams completely backfired you stupid slave (not insulting cops other than this one), brain cells aren't easily grown from your DNA that's for sure.

One of the highlights of the year so far, played the guy perfectly, like a fucking guitar but with more dexterity than I usually do, now go sing Kumbaya to your fellow prison inmates as you wash out the rest of your life with your self imposed slavery (because you're too freaking ignorant about your own brainwashing).

You are owned, I am free. And I will destroy all you clowns more and more overtime.

[Origins]

Fuck it. I gotta get this rant out. Gotta let this stuff flow naturally

 

Why would I just… Give it to you? 

You think I don’t know that you like me?

You think I don’t know that you died your hair and want me to notice?

What makes you think you can break my armour?

What makes you think that I would let you in?

Because others around me think that we’d make a good couple?

This an’t some arranged marriage bullshit that’s going to fucking happen here.

What’s your game, miss everyday girl round the corner?

So you work in aged care huh, you like my father I know it, you help my sister I know it.

You know she’s a bitch so why do you help her?

What have you got to gain by entering into our psychic space?

Others are picking up on it as well, planting suggestions in every which way.

What have you got to gain by developing affections towards me?

Based on what? You barely know me.

You find me cute, huh?

You don’t know the depths of me, you never will, you’ll never be able to understand. 

You’ll just project onto me.

I need someone who wants to deeply understand, someone who wants to study me. 

You’re not going to study me. You’re just going to weave your way into my emotions expect me to hit on you we hit it off on casual, sleep together and then find ourselves in some bond that you then get to put expectations onto me. 

I don’t want those expectations that you’ve done nothing to earn and cannot earn.

If you could earn them, I know you would. But you’re not capable don’t you know?

You’re a good girl, you want me to rough you up I get it but its not going to happen don’t you know?

I’m in love with someone else and we haven’t even began yet, that’s something I want for you though.

We both don’t even know if we’re right for each other either because of various traumas, etc.

And even if it doesn’t workout, what makes you think that I would settle for anything less?

See this is where you don’t get it… You don’t get how independent I’m capable of being, my ability to be a lone wolf, I don’t need anyone, I want a certain someone and if I can’t find them that’s fine by me, I’m still going to strive towards my existential goals. I don’t just “give myself away”, I don’t just “fall in love” like a regular person. Do you know how well I’ve reverse engineered that shit? It’s got no fucking business in my life if things don’t measure up for us in a number of ways. The people in my life are there for a reason, they’re like me enough that we’re not just me are compatible enough with our life situations and intrinsic connection.

You can’t be with a guy like me, I’d work to know your deepest essence as well as I could and for what? 

Those depths you wouldn’t even understand yourself. 

What’s the point of being with someone who doesn’t know the depths of the effort you go to in order to understand the?

They’re too short sighted, they take your actions too much at face value, they compare your actions too much to how they’ve experienced similar actions from others in the past. They can’t see the novelty and uniqueness of you.

You can’t love me.

You can only love the idea of me.

I’m impenetrable to your abilities outside my wit that’s a mere amusement for me and a cheap (in my eyes, I mean are you serious?) turn on for you.

Don’t mistake the dopamine I give you for love.

Don’t mistake the oxytocin I give you for love.

I won’t let you fall in love with me. I won’t let you try to get me to fall in love with you.

Oh so you’re going to fall in love with me because that makes me more mysterious? That only makes me look even more down on you because you turn all that stuff into projective bullshit.

Listen, I KNOW you’ve got a good heart.

I KNOW you would be committed.

I KNOW we could have a cliche good relationship.

I DON’T want that though.

Don’t you know I only strive for greatness?

Don’t you know this is 

No you wouldn’t know. If I told you, you still wouldn’t be able to fathom the complexity. Take your slowly developing infatuations and invest them into someone who doesn’t need as much of a romantic connection where you collide and unite together spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, intellectually, physically.

I won’t let you get your heart broken, we can be friends and nothing else.

I’m not playing it small anymore, there’s far more to gain from friendship than being a lover from where I am these days. 

And gain for me, shit I still don’t know what your gain is. You want “a relatively compatible partner”, I want “a deep soul connection”, these are totally and completely different from one another.

No flirting, any flirting and I’ll just outsmart you and keep it as friendship over and over again.

You won’t throw yourself at me.

You’re smart.

That’s good I like that.

We’re too incompatible though.

I need someone very high on openness.

I need someone who’s got their shit together (you do I know).

I need someone that’s creative, don’t get me wrong I know you’re resourceful, intelligent, dutiful, but I need someone that can expand my mind, heat and spirit so that I know what I’m devoting myself to.

Do you know how devoted I am? Probably one of the most devoted people on the planet when it comes to my causes.

Why would I just… Give that to you? Why would I just… Give that to…. Any “body”? This an’t just bodies physically colliding in the bedroom babe. If you want that cheap porn I’m not your guy. Friends and zero benefits because I already know what game you’re playing in advance. Do you know how fucking intuitive I am? No, you wouldn’t. And you never will. That’s the problem here.

I’m sorry. I love you (not in a romantic sense in a spiritual sense). I can feel your energy. I get it. I totally do.

But you and I deserve different people.

I don’t want to be with anyone capable of doing the things I need that would settle for less either.
Here I am, naked and misunderstood as usual, and in advance (foresight). Doing the “understanding” towards others. Fuck you. And love you, I know you can’t help it. I know you try. It’s okay, I forgive you. Goodbye before any inevitable romantic break and a sincere hello to friendship if that’s what transpires. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll make that clear to you in my dedication to potential friendship. 

 

 

[Origins]

^ this is what's known as "psychic buildup".

Both the build-up, the necessary release and the nuanced learning that follows completely changes the dynamics that further result, the future is unequivocally never the same again. So never foil with action, you plant fruit on the life that is you a tree without you even being aware.  

This is why I don't underestimate the simplicity of the act of just simply venting. You can easily become self-judging afterwards, believing yourself to have done exactly that, "foiled action", not realising that the judgement itself is a part of the false standard that needed to be a part of the learning that changed all the elements in sum. Once you break that barrier, where you're able to vent and learn without judgement, you open up channels to higher levels of being within yourself; you're free from the societally prescribed limits they put on your capacity to self evolve. You'll see yourself change in unpredictable but ultimately, paramount ways. Releasing that inner critic by seeing it as a part of the transmutation process which motivated you to vent in the first place will allow you to not see the inner critic as separate but instead as noted, a part of a whole gestalt that needs to transform.

I mean what are the alternatives: Get caught in a "neurotic love" or a "neurotic" anything if relationship entanglements aren't the corresponding example here? On neurotic love, that is, the kind of love that you never intended for. Both intentionality and fluid non-intentions are vital for real love. She's invaded my psychic space, I didn't ask nor do I want her too. Her feelings are natural but so is my venting. One of us has to do it, I'm the more advanced one so I have to, followed by learning from those energies that's a bit like vomiting. She just simply does not have a chance. I won't need to do a thing now really to show that because I've changed the psychic space via this transformation here. The potential social problem will vanish because I've gone through (nearly the whole way) the transformation without anybody knowing. It changes their thoughts before it even changes mine, I've removed any awkwardness by altering my frequency. This is how this works. This is how the universe works, everything we do matters in this sense as the universe is the matter that is constantly evolving in the sum of it all; there are no distinct colours, they're all always blended and blending together into one energetic psychic all/whole.

I don't give a fuck about the status quo, which is why any kind of needless self judgement exists when the action was a vital part of our transformation. Society and its social standards can kiss my ass, revolution to evolution is far more vitally and existentially important to me. Society needs to evolve, I'll meet it on the other side. Rinse, repeat; see your metamorphosis on the other side, others see you as the same person, you're not. You've changed now. You're more useful to the universes ongoing expansion now.

[Origins]

I hate it when they treat it so casually as well, you're taking up my fucking time with a relationship bitch. Fuck off. You've got no fucking idea what I have to accomplish by the rest of my life. They try to lure you in, it disgusts me. They can't do "natural" with intelligence. It's so disrespectful as well, to just assume you're "in" someone when they've never given any indication that they want you to be in their space. They try to "normalise" it (talking about being together etc) so you lower your guard, it's completely repugnant. To just assume future responsibility on me like that. This "normalisation" process is how cultural norms are turned to shit as well with shitty technologies hitting the sociocultural space, aka social media destroying our prefrontal evolution as a human race. You have to be a snob with your time in these situations paired with a mask of politeness between unavoidable interactions. Do they not care who else you're connected to? The very reason they haven't earned your respect. Dunning-Kruger effect on the capacity to understand the person they're thinking about, the very reason you have to be hyper selective in your relationships if you have at bare minimum a respectful standard in relation to who you as a human being wish to be understood outside others merely perceiving you as a body to exploit for their subconscious thought planting for a relationship you would never objectively choose. It's so freaking manipulative. 

(You've gotta be assertive sometimes, at least energetically. And have that demeanour)

[Origins]

I HAVE ONE FUCKING CONNECTION (in a relationship sense) ON THIS PLANET AND THAT DOESN'T FUCKING CHANGE

AN'T NO BITCH GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND UNTIL THE TRUTH OF THAT CONNECTION EMERGES INTO SOMETHING OUT OF THE GRAVITY OF THAT

I'm done with this fucking journalling until I get back now.

FUCK.

Consider this now into the blackhole trash can of the universe and into the dimension of reality that gets recycled. PEOPLE have no fucking right to mess around with what they don't understand about another, or in this case, others, and true connections. They should NOT make assumptions.

FEEL MY FUCKING WRATH. SEE ME AS A FUCKING HUMAN BEING WITH MY OWN INDEPENDENT CONSCIOUSNESS. No they can't. I have to be the "dude" that sympathises with them. Go fuck yourselves, stuck being the "in case of an emergency" fail safe for those charlatan consciousnesses sometimes. 

I don't WANT the status you give or could give me, I WANT THIS UNIVERSE TO EVOLVE with human beings the primary focus here in light of their dominance and sentience on this planet. Do you know how pesky your status is in comparison to this extended objective I have here? Do you know how trivial, menial, shallow and essentially weak your games look in comparison? I want your consciousnesses to grow, I want you to serve the universes ongoing expansion by serving your higher self. That is all. Put what you think you can give me in that fucking blackhole along with the other stuff and just focus on that and you'll be giving me everything I want anyhow, any relationship is met on those terms, but not with you in this lifetime.

No.

As I said. 

I have 1 connection. 

TRUTH = PURITY, SIMPLICITY, BEAUTY.

Now they can go fuck themselves playing with their own inner neurosis amidst me simultaneously generating the space to move to and maintain their trajectory towards their higher self / highest being outside all of this nonsense psychic space I don't want any part of. I'm evolving and I'm changing this fucking human race.

That's how you (meaning the people I'm talking about) view me now do you know it? That's the energetic posture I have towards you? SHIT you're fucking lucky for who else would truly want that for you all?

Okay. DONE.

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Well, although its in complete seriousness without a touch of humour in my expression, I did state that I was going to end with humour so in that sense I can express the freedom to perceive it from a humorous angle. Don't take that liberty beyond necessity though of course.

[Origins]

Wrapping this up as one final post:

And finally a quick formula that can be followed and improved as needed. You won’t find it anywhere else (likely, though share yours if you have them):

1. Vent

2. Fluidly map the patterns of the vent and any residue combined with any other behaviours you notice in yourself post the vent I.e. anger, inner critic. etc

3. remind yourself of your life purpose, mission (I,e, some people like to use a vision board)

4. Calm - close your eyes, in relation to everything experienced dually practice self compassion and self acceptance, shifting back and fourth between the energies until a new energy is consolidated, this will aid with any inner critic you have that follows. 

5. Shift into the energy of self respect, moving back and fourth between here and self acceptance like you did in 4

6. Write down practical statements about the venting  situation that you want to become a reality in light of your life purpose, meaning make sure those statements fit with your purpose on this planet. These statements will reflect your higher self’s ambitions

7. visualise those statements in conjunction with everything in 3 until they become a natural part of your purpose I.e. corresponding vision board as well / analogous 

8. As you did in 4 and 5, shift between the energy of self acceptance and the desire to achieve your highest goals 

9. Done. Rinse and repeat as needed

10. As an extra step as needed, practice the energetic frequency of non self sacrificing (because you’re achieving the ambitions of your higher self) universal love to bring stability to the psychic space in the context of achieving your vision, these other statements now serving as a supplementary and micro goal only as required. This informs the subconscious to place only intelligent priority here (the vent), you don’t want to make it the centre of your world of course, you want your life purpose to be the centre of your world 

Benefits of a process like this: Avoids getting stuck in the venting stage while at the same time making best use of it, this prevents it going to the negatives of venting while moving to the positive simultaneously. Never punish yourself for it, instead learn to shift those energies in your own way onto the next stage of energetic alignment/realignment as best as your intelligence serves 

 

 

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Based on the above protocol:

And you can pretty much call “vent” X, in this case x can say reflect any psychological state / body state (especially emotional)

It’s the initial loop, x, between expression and identification, for the former we have pure venting because identification is too difficult by this stage, but before it gets to the venting stage we have identification and expression

 

venting is there because we didn’t notice it early enough, thus practicing identification to expression in an endless loop followed by the other steps is what protects you from needing to vent as you’re already installing the necessary protocols to avoid having your boundaries further crossed while simultaneously healthily releasing said venting as the need arises

 

Venting is done without awareness, awareness comes afterwards so don’t worry too much there just focus on getting it all out of the system don’t judge it’s not meant to come out perfectly

 

identification is through awareness where you become hyper intelligent overtime about what you’re experiencing, and through that learn how to further identify and express what you’re experiencing. The expression is of course a natural part of the identification process, make sure you sink into the experiences of the body shifting back and fourth between bodily experiences and mental associations with those experiences. semi to standard awareness here. Greater introspection again comes after.
 

Sometimes you will follow venting with identification to expression other times you’ll start from the latter, generally overtime though with the latter you’ll always increase your mastery. There’s so much to vent about regarding the world though so remember, just don’t fucking judge yourself but remember it’s a process. Your emotions are there to tell you something fucking intelligent, express and listen to them, then move more calmly through the other steps to develop strategies and plans based on those emotions. If you don’t go from expression to strategy the emotions even if you’re expressing them will sometimes be like “why aren’t you listening to me?”, and it’ll just get worse and worse before it turns into a vent of some sort

very straightforward example:

Identification: I feel a mixture of anger, empowerment, peace and love 

- try to identify as best and as many as you can, the more the better, the more descriptive the better, sometimes this is where creative writing can be useful where said emotions become depicted in metaphor stored in the mind rather than the body because say perhaps that emotion was trapped in the body and that’s the only way it knows how to be heard

Expression: already done as noted it’s a natural part of the identification process, but this is where the other steps come in handy, you’re going to utilise those emotions towards some self efficacious action in light of your higher visions reflected in those steps 

 

 KEY: PAY ATTENTION!

Don’t fucking ignore what’s happening within.

YOUR energy is YOUR kingdom.

learn to identify and express it through these steps or ones you’ve constructed for yourself I.e. including perhaps various things you have appreciation and gratitude for (that could be its own step or inputted anywhere however you like for example), or to its opposite if it’s a part of that vent/related but then come back around 

this is YOUR life

YOUR energy and how you use it THROUGH ATTENTION is the KEY to living this life well how YOU want to on your OWN terms.

you MUST make it a duty to YOU and no one else to become a MASTER here for your OWN SELF DISCOVERY and SELF RULERSHIP

You are QUEEN/KING here

ipad out.... don’t care for gram nazis 

 

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And very important:

Whatever you're experiencing. However long its been there.

There's no shame in it.

None. Don't let the world fool you, it's just on an unself-aware socio-chemical feedback loop that wants you to be a part of experiencing the same reactions, etc for various situations (I choose evolution because that's the pattern that life chooses).

You don't "have to" get over anything, this is an ego game. You can have freedom right here and now. 

All you can do is do what we're capable of doing and let everything else fall as it may then experience the freedom of that.

There is the order: the processes you follow to repair to extend ones state and then, to that end, the intelligent acceptance of chaos however it arises, there is a simultaneous co-existence and separation, with the former reflecting the order that you utilise to manage said necessary chaos for ongoing universal expansion (these notes will be added to my transcendence notes when I'm back).

Once you develop acceptance of "state" however it is, manifests, etc while still doing your regular intelligent practices as you personally see fit to do them, that's your peace, irrespective of whatever else you're experiencing. 

Next in a couple to few weeks I would have finished my writings on Existential Transcendence (if that's the name I give it). Gotta write a book on this by the end of the year, I've written enough on it here and personally to do so.

That's how you want to be when it comes to writing books, you want to be a natural writer on the topic, then just synthesise pre-existing writings you have into greater formalisation.

Edited April 3, 2021 by Origins