Can you go ahead only on the basis of negative motivation?

[RedLine]

In my opinion, no. If you have 0 interest in what you are doing sooner or later you are going to kick it and send it to shit.  You cannot fight your emotions all the time.

But what if you are a nihilistic and you don´t have interest in anything you have to do? You are f···· up forever?

I have had this problem my whole life. Always doing everything out of negative motivation. Always fighting my emotions to get shit done. Always doing things very poorly because I have no genuine interest in them.

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by RedLine

[RedLine]

Let's put it in a practical way:

 

Right now I want to get a job. Why do I want to get a job? To stop feeling bad about living with my mother and consider myself a useless person for society. I want to get a job not because I have an interest in the job itself but to avoid further suffering that comes with not having the job. I have 0 interest in the academic training of this job or in the purposes of this job. I only have the negative motivation to stop suffering because I feel like a failure without work.

[The Buddha]

Not everything is black and white. Find the merging points and start there, little by little. As this problem started also little by little, so you will get out little by little.

If you still think that your situation is black and white and that method doesn't work. Try using negative motivation to get out of negative motivation. If you say that everything is out of negative motivation (I doubt it), but if it was really that the case the only way out is the method you are already using but with that thing itself. Other examples would be how to get out of extreme skepticism, being eskeptical about skepticisim. This is for very extreme cases, if that is your case, the only way out is using the thing that is destroying all your life, to use it against itself and therefore it will destroy itself.

Hope I helped you. Have a nice day beautiful soul!

[xxxx]

54 minutes ago, RedLine said:

Right now I want to get a job. Why do I want to get a job? To stop feeling bad about living with my mother and consider myself a useless person for society. I want to get a job not because I have an interest in the job itself but to avoid further suffering that comes with not having the job. I have 0 interest in the academic training of this job or in the purposes of this job. I only have the negative motivation to stop suffering because I feel like a failure without work.

Is there something your heart aches to create?

Have you felt love? If yes, doing what? 

There must be something that makes you feel happy, right? Because if there is something that makes you feel bad, there must also be something that makes you feel good.

54 minutes ago, RedLine said:

To stop feeling bad about living with my mother and consider myself a useless person for society

I understand, independence is imperative for the overall feeling of happiness - but why do you actually care about what the society thinks? 

Ask yourself this: are you suppressing the thought of doing what you actually love because the society will look down upon you? 

The society thinks way too much; what are you going to gain living up to their standards of useless and useful? 

Another thing - is your mother hostile towards you for living with her? Or, have you created this issue, yourself? 

Moving out of your home is not difficult, earning money while doing what you love is not difficult - it’s basically your approach towards it that matters. 

You can suffer through life, or dance through it - for both have the same end. There’s always a choice. 

All the best! 

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by xxxx

[mandyjw]

You are really on to something here.

Your positive motivations are already there or it would not be motivation. You just aren't focusing on them. Spin the focus around. You want to feel better. You can go straight to feeling better and pay attention to how you feel rather than focusing on the end or future result, or meeting your own self imposed criteria for worthiness. Then because "God" is not like our mothers who gave us what we wanted when we cried hard enough for it, you get what you want because "God" gives things that feel good to people who really want them but also at the same time feel good anyway. 

1 hour ago, RedLine said:

 Why do I want to get a job? To stop feeling bad about living with my mother and consider myself a useless person for society. 

You want to stop feeling bad. This is the magic of self love and meditation. When you stop feeling bad and then it diminishes the resistance to our outer circumstances reflecting our desires. Because we are open, opportunities are realized. 

Realize- Means both to understand, become aware of and to actualize. It's a magic word. 

[RedLine]

15 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

You are really on to something here.

Your positive motivations are already there or it would not be motivation. You just aren't focusing on them. Spin the focus around. You want to feel better. You can go straight to feeling better and pay attention to how you feel rather than focusing on the end or future result, or meeting your own self imposed criteria for worthiness. Then because "God" is not like our mothers who gave us what we wanted when we cried hard enough for it, you get what you want because "God" gives things that feel good to people who really want them but also at the same time feel good anyway. 

You want to stop feeling bad. This is the magic of self love and meditation. When you stop feeling bad and then it diminishes the resistance to our outer circumstances reflecting our desires. Because we are open, opportunities are realized. 

Realize- Means both to understand, become aware of and to actualize. It's a magic word. 

I meditate like crazy but when I come back to reality problems are there again. I don´t think meditation solve personal problems. I can be more equaniomous about negative emotions with meditation but negative emotions are still there.

Edited January 12, 2021 by RedLine

[RedLine]

1 hour ago, xxxx said:

Is there something your heart aches to create?

Have you felt love? If yes, doing what? 

There must be something that makes you feel happy, right? Because if there is something that makes you feel bad, there must also be something that makes you feel good.

 

Of course a lot of things. But that things are "sensations", not things. I am nihilistic because I am only interested in subjectic experiences (ultimtely God) but I am not interested in relative things like politics, progress, builiding things, get things done, finance, sports, new, etc. I am just interested in mysticis/spirituallity/metaphysics or whatever you want to call it. I am not interested in material things.

 

1 hour ago, xxxx said:

 

I understand, independence is imperative for the overall feeling of happiness - but why do you actually care about what the society thinks? 

Ask yourself this: are you suppressing the thought of doing what you actually love because the society will look down upon you? 

The society thinks way too much; what are you going to gain living up to their standards of useless and useful? 

 

 

I don´t care what society thinks. But since I am not enlighten I am indentified with my ego; and the ego is constructed in the society. The ego=society. This is something that humanistic psychology describes very well. At this moment I identify myself as a failure and it is something that I cannot change. At other times when I was successful, I identify myself with a boss.

 

1 hour ago, xxxx said:

 

Moving out of your home is not difficult, earning money while doing what you love is not difficult - it’s basically your approach towards it that matters. 

 

 

Well, in my country it actually is haha. I applied to literraly thousands of jobs in the last 2 years.

Edited January 12, 2021 by RedLine

[mandyjw]

1 minute ago, RedLine said:

I meditate like crazy but when I come back ro reality problems are there again. I don´t think meditation solve personal problems. I can be more equaniomous about negative emotions with meditation but negative emotions are still there.

Try become more aware of the thoughts you are thinking when you feel bad. 

I made this wheel to visually show various ways that we suffer and how you can just spin around and experience emotions of all kinds and varieties as thought tries to solve the problem of thought with thought. It mistakes its thoughts about a circumstance (not having a job makes me such and such) for the circumstance itself (complete current freedom of opportunity and choice perhaps?). It believes in the validity of the circumstance and it believes that the circumstances center around it, and so it avoids all the positive emotions it actually seeks which are, already, the true center. In the center there is no illusion of separation between me and a thought of myself. The only true movement is to move closer to the center, rather than spinning around or flipping back and forth between opposite emotions. It requires letting go of thought or seeing through the validity of a thought about yourself (or someone else, which is always comparison or mistaking a thought about yourself for someone else) that feels bad. 

So meditation is great to raise your vibration and move to greater awareness in the center, but you also have to start really questioning thought when it's active to see the movement of it. 

[RedLine]

8 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Try become more aware of the thoughts you are thinking when you feel bad. 

I made this wheel to visually show various ways that we suffer and how you can just spin around and experience emotions of all kinds and varieties as thought tries to solve the problem of thought with thought. It mistakes its thoughts about a circumstance (not having a job makes me such and such) for the circumstance itself (complete current freedom of opportunity and choice perhaps?). It believes in the validity of the circumstance and it believes that the circumstances center around it, and so it avoids all the positive emotions it actually seeks which are, already, the true center. In the center there is no illusion of separation between me and a thought of myself. The only true movement is to move closer to the center, rather than spinning around or flipping back and forth between opposite emotions. It requires letting go of thought or seeing through the validity of a thought about yourself (or someone else, which is always comparison or mistaking a thought about yourself for someone else) that feels bad. 

So meditation is great to raise your vibration and move to greater awareness in the center, but you also have to start really questioning thought when it's active to see the movement of it. 

 

That is very useful what you are saying.

 

The devil is still very strong on me. I am very attach to thoughts and emotions. And I still don't know very well how to combine get thing done with letting go. They look like opposite forces. Anyways, much work to do (personal and transpersonal)! Thank you.

 

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by RedLine

[mandyjw]

@RedLine You're welcome.

Also learn to flip around thoughts of unwanted to wanted. I don't want to live with my mother, to where I do want to live. Envision the apartment and lifestyle you really want to have. Should your apartment be close to the park or the gym? Go for a walk when you feel good and look around for a place you might like to live. Dream about it. Pick thoughts that feel good. Drop the ones that don't or turn them around and use them to discover and define what you do want. Don't doubt your desires, or just be aware when you do this, and just let them be pure desires. Pick small ones (example, I'd love to have my own refrigerator) until you can work up to bigger ones. 

[xxxx]

48 minutes ago, RedLine said:

Of course a lot of things. But that things are "sensations", not things. I am nihilistic because I am only interested in subjectic experiences (ultimtely God) but I am not interested in relative things like politics, progress, builiding things, get things done, finance, sports, new, etc. I am just interested in mysticis/spirituallity/metaphysics or whatever you want to call it. I am not interested in material things.

 

What is your dream lifestyle? Draw me an outline, perhaps? 

 

48 minutes ago, RedLine said:

At this moment I identify myself as a failure and it is something that I cannot change.

 

This is something you can change. You are not a failure, but someone who is still learning about themselves - their likes / dislikes.  

Choose your words wisely, for they affect you. You got to build a better narrative for yourself. The quality of conversations you have with yourself matters.

I read this somewhere - imagine you love someone a lot - they are in a bad place in their life, and they ask you for some advice; you’ll give them good, kind advice, right? Now imagine that you are that someone you love the most, and apply that advice on yourself. 

.

About not finding a job in your country, albeit you have been applying for the past two years : I am sorry about that.

I would like to ask you one thing, though - what else do see yourself doing, apart from being an employee in the traditional sense?

Do you see yourself as a freelancer? You can earn a lot if you provide great value, I am sure. You don’t have to be ‘under’ someone technically, and can do things at your own pace, on your own terms. 

.

 

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by xxxx

[RedLine]

Just now, xxxx said:

What is your dream lifestyle? Draw me an outline, perhaps? 

 

Have enought money so I don´t have to do thing I dont like and I don´t have to think about money or jobs anymore. Spend the day in spiritual work, some exercise, social life, nature, woman, drugs, family...

 

5 minutes ago, xxxx said:

 

This is something you can change. You are not a failure, but someone who is still learning about themselves - their likes / dislikes.  

Choose your words wisely, for they affect you. You got to build a better narrative for yourself. The quality of conversations you have with yourself matters.

I read this somewhere - imagine you love someone a lot - they are in a bad place in their life, and they ask you for some advice; you’ll give them good, kind advice, right? Now imagine that you are that someone you love the most, and apply that advice on yourself. 

 

.

 

 

mm I don´t think is something I can choose. It is like a biological mechanism. Man is a sociable animal and if they stays out of society they begins to touch depression. 

[hyruga]

You can use both positive and negative energy to work. 

Watch Zig Ziglar for real positive motivation.

[RedLine]

1 minute ago, hyruga said:

You can use both positive and negative energy to work. 

Watch Zig Ziglar for real positive motivation.

any specific video?