Life is SO hard

[Flowerfaeiry]

Sometimes I think, what the hell have i gotten myself into? I keep wanting to quit, to just fall headfirst into addiction, toxic relationships, eating bad food, watching low consciousness shows, all the things I'm breaking out of. But I almost don't have a choice but to keep going. I will preservere. 

[Ananta]

@Flowerfaeiry Yes, I feel ya. Sometimes major changes are needed, but it take courage and analysis of the situation to see if this is the case or not.

[Elevated]

I empathize with how you feel. I remember selling all my video games after being addicted for years and getting more work done than I ever have in my life because of it. Then about a year and a half later I suddenly had the urge to buy a new console and start playing them, I just wanted to relax sometimes and not have to always be "on my purpose" all the time. I gave in. It took me nearly 5 years to finally sell them again. I spent a lot of that time being very disciplined and successful pursing a degree I'm very passionate about, but the "relax sometimes" turned into "relax whenever I have time away from studying." Missed out on a lot of personal growth because of that even though I was still doing well in school. A really good excuse. Point being, stay strong and stay on your purpose. The further you go the less all that low consciousness shit will appeal to you. 

[Matt23]

Word up... feel ya.  

One thing that's helped me a lot is communicating with the various parts within myself and trying to resolve and heal them (sort of like Internal Family Systems therapy).

Bravery - Gentleness - Honesty - Compassion...  Balance.  

 

[Ananta]

6 minutes ago, Elevated said:

I remember selling all my video games after being addicted for years and getting more work done than I ever have in my life because of it. Then about a year and a half later I suddenly had the urge to buy a new console and start playing them, I just wanted to relax sometimes

?

I think I bought my son 3 xboxes/games in his childhood, lol. 

He'd cry he needed a break and needed to sell them, then cry he needed them again.

He's a healthy/happy 28 year old now and his time spent xboxing did no harm. Thank goodness!

[Elevated]

6 minutes ago, Ananta said:

?

I think I bought my son 3 xboxes/games in his childhood, lol. 

He'd cry he needed a break and needed to sell them, then cry he needed them again.

He's a healthy/happy 28 year old now and his time spent xboxing did no harm. Thank goodness!

 

That's good to hear! I think it really depends on how you use them. I found that I was using it as an escape, first from some childhood stuff I experienced, then as an escape from "real" life. I learned to be able to tell the difference between using it as a coping mechanism and using it as a genuine source of enjoyment. The former would leave me feeling numb and tired, whereas the other would leave me excited enough to want to stop playing and talk about it with some friends haha. I came to the decision that it was too often becoming a coping mechanism. I needed to put more effort into creating a ecosystem of thriving mechanisms. 

[Ananta]

@Elevated I probably downplayed it a bit. My son did use it, much too much, and I'm sure as a numbing agent. I was worried about him many times. Guess my only point was that it was a teenage thing and he outgrew it. 

He got into ripping apart cars instead and became a self made mechanic.?

[Human Mint]

Maybe keep focusing into your honest you? You're being honest rn, keeping deepening into honesty and it brings guidance (what you really want). I hope you can find peace and clarity, as i hope it to myself.

life is shitty sometimes

Edited January 12, 2021 by Human Mint

[Human Mint]

I stopped beating me up when I have low consciousness behaviors (addictions mostly) and I feel less stressed out. I know that's not what i really want, but, in the other hand, i'm seeing what i really want coming up to the surface, slowly.

[Flowerfaeiry]

29 minutes ago, Human Mint said:

Maybe keep focusing into your honest you? You're being honest rn, keeping deepening into honesty and it brings guidance (what you really want). 

I like that

[Elevated]

1 hour ago, Human Mint said:

Maybe keep focusing into your honest you? You're being honest rn, keeping deepening into honesty and it brings guidance (what you really want). I hope you can find peace and clarity, as i hope it to myself.

life is shitty sometimes

Really good point. Love yourself, even the parts you've been conditioned to hate. Live that authentically. 

[blackchair]

im so getting banned from this forum

[Ananta]

27 minutes ago, blackchair said:

im so getting banned from this forum

Why? 

[blackchair]

everything is a joke to me, and  chaos follows me everywhere i go but on the flipside i have everything in the world literally, everything is mine so i will dance into infinity....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rilles]

6 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

Sometimes I think, what the hell have i gotten myself into? I keep wanting to quit, to just fall headfirst into addiction, toxic relationships, eating bad food

So you want to escape from your hard life by falling into things that make life even harder? Not a good strategy.  

[Aturban]

@Flowerfaeiry

 

[The Buddha]

@Flowerfaeiry

In order to something new to be born, something has to die. To open a new door you have to close and old one. Then snake has to slough his skin before a new one can appear. Go with the flow. What you are experiencing is the end of a big cycle but all ends are a new beginning. Enjoy the process and allow yourself to be reborn into your highest potential. Do not force anything, everything has it's time. No flower blossoms in one day, you neither can force it to flourish. You can only put fertil earth, water it, provide her good sun and fresh air, lots of loves and then faith that everything is going perfect.

Have a nice day beautiful soul!

[Leo Gura]

Yes, life is hard.

[Ajay0]

30 minutes ago, The Buddha said:

@Flowerfaeiry

In order to something new to be born, something has to die. To open a new door you have to close and old one. Then snake has to slough his skin before a new one can appear. Go with the flow. What you are experiencing is the end of a big cycle but all ends are a new beginning. Enjoy the process and allow yourself to be reborn into your highest potential. Do not force anything, everything has it's time. No flower blossoms in one day, you neither can force it to flourish. You can only put fertil earth, water it, provide her good sun and fresh air, lots of loves and then faith that everything is going perfect.

Have a nice day beautiful soul!

 

 

 This was very insightful and helpful.

I remember reading  similar sayings of  spiritual masters  who similarly stressed mental equanimity and calmness ...

 

If the mind wavers, difficulty will embrace you. ~ Ambalal Muljibhai Patel ( Dada Bhagwan )

 

Falling suddenly into a lake persons who do not know how to swim, can save themselves by simply preserving their equanimity. The specific gravity of man being less than that of water, he will keep floating on the surface. But ordinary human beings lose their balance of mind and by their very struggle to float get drowned. So oftentimes the very unrest for the future causes failure. ~ Rama Tirtha

 

It is good to be reminded of such wise sayings from time to time, in order to impress it better in our minds needlessly agitated by worries and fears.

 

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by Ajay0

[mandyjw]

There's no conflict in self love. Self love is eating healthy most of the time and having a treat sometimes. Self love is making time for exercise because you truly love it. Pay attention to how you feel and Awareness and Self Love become seamless. 

Pleasure is an important part of life. Pick the one TV show you really want to see and make time for it. Make time for a desert or a treat. Consciously make time for pleasures that you've carefully selected. Then you won't fall into unconscious self loathing indulgence and you dissipate the resistance to the real "work" you want to be doing. There is no such thing as resistance when we drop the thoughts judging ourselves. Are there two of you? One that can know and judge the other to its standard? Or is there just pure Awareness/Self Love? There aren't two of you.