Should I Tell My Family About My Self-actualizing Plans?

[Samuel]

I only started self improvement a year ago and have not really talked about it to my family other than recommending some meaningful self help books. Should I let them know I want to become self actualized?

Forum is great btw!  Gonna be spending a lot of my free time here.

Edited February 9, 2016 by Samuel

[Rob]

I told my parents. Somehow they're saying: you're just a teenager, don't put too much stress on yourself. Do what other teens do! But think critically about what your parents offers you. Overall, we are on the driver seat of our own amazing fulfilling life! 

Rob

[TruthSeeker]

It depends on why you're telling them. First do some real good introspection about WHY you want to tell them (there might be more than one reason). You might think you know the reason but in fact there is some more hidden reason. Try to be very honest with yourself. 

If you want to tell them because you think it would be good for them to self improve...so some people might feel offended by hearing "hey you need to work on yourself" (even if you don't use those words thats what some people tend to hear)

Also one of the dangers of working on one self and improving is that you can get the feeling of feeling better than others. For reasons which I will not go into now, such a feeling is antithetical  to self actualization. So telling them to sort of "show-off" is also a problem.

Just try to look deep down for reasons like these and make your that only positive things can come out of telling them and if not don't.

Also, sometimes the best "way" to tell these people about what your doing is to just live by example. If they see a real actualized guy so that will inspire anyone to "hop on the boat"

 

[T110E3]

Hey Samuel.

I myself haven't told my family anything,because I feel they just would not understand whatsoever.I would be probably called an outcast,because nobody,that I know of,aren't doing the things I am trying to do.And in any case I don't really like having deep and meaningful conversations,in real life,with other people,so I guess this is also where I need to work on,now that I think about it.If you feel like it is going to have a meaningful impact then go for it.

Kind regards.

Edited February 9, 2016 by T110E3

[JeffR1]

Hi Samuel. It's really your choice if you wish to tell your family. A couple of questions for you to ponder. Why do you feel a need to tell your family? Is your family going to be able to be open to being told? What difference will it make to you if you tell them? Is it your ego that wants to tell them? 

From my experience, it's good to talk with like minded people; some people are just not open to it. For me, it's mostly a private thing. I've talked to some people and been met with blank stares, or comments like 'that sounds weird' etc.

It's your journey, so feel free to follow your intuition. I suggest you self-investigate the questions above. Best wishes. 

[kalter000]

Self-development is something you do for yourself, it's life long journey. Why do you need to talk about it, it's nothing special and rather ordinary for all intelligent people. For me it's as strange as telling my parents "I'm gonna learn new things in the future!"
I think they will notice themselves when you'll get sufficient results, but I can't grasp your motivation right now. 
Nevertheless it's your choice.

[Sarah Marie]

I told my family I was becoming certified as a life coach, but other than that I really don't mention a lot. Mainly because we are at two very very different places in our own journeys. My mom and sister mainly chat about who is getting kicked off the bachelor and their newest fad diet . They call me an "airy fairy", LOL. So, that pretty much sums it up.

[Michele339]

First off all many thanks to all the people involved in making this forum a reality.

I am in self-actualization for the past 6 to 7 years and nobody in my life knows about it. In the past I tried to tell this to my parents, but that was a mistake. My parents didn’t had a clue what I was talking about, and they felt that there beliefs and comfort zone ware very much in danger.

So this forum is my first opportunity to interact with other people. Thank you!

[Samuel]

@JeffR1 Well, to be honest my intuition has kept me from telling them. I think I fear their critisism the most.

The only reason I would like to tell them about it is so that they had a gist of what I was doing all day, since they're always curious. I always respond with "school work" if they ask. 

Could this still be the ego talking?

Thanks

[Phrae]

@Samuel Just curious, what is it that you do?

[Samuel]

@Phrae I am currently a student in high school and am unemployed.

[Phrae]

@Samuel I mean what is the self-actualizing consisting of? Meditation/visualization/affirmations? Reading?

 

[Samuel]

@Phrae Meditation, reading, jounaling, watching leo's videos and fitness and nutrition. I have also started a master mind with my good friend and have been doing that for about 4 months now on a weekly basis. 

I also plan to want to purchase self help products such as leos Life purpose course, and since it is somewhat expensive my family would probably wonder where the money went.

[Phrae]

@Samuel I do definitely find it hard to explain. As some stuff are not clear to you but you have an intuition that it's worthwhile to explore. If you're worried about feeling eccentric I would make the argument that you're getting that either way. I tell my friends I'm reading/learning about fitness and nutrition as well and sometimes lie .

I tried to explain it once to a friend and I gave this impression people get when they hear some body is going to therapy. It is true that is is about getting rid of your problems, but I don't think I communicated it well. I would personally suggest mulling over it more and thinking things through but you can't go wrong by telling them. I don't know how much of this is true, but I think that the first impression you give to them about this is going to affect their receptiveness.

[Samuel]

@Phrae Thanks, and you're very right. Self actualizing is hard to explain to someone who had never even heard of it before without sounding shallow, even though its the deepest thing anyone could be doing. I will probably not mention it for now but maybe when I start doing workshops and such over seas it would be a good time to let them know. 

Thanks for the tremendous help!

Edited February 10, 2016 by Samuel

[Sargon]

Like others have said in this forum, look to the source of your question and get a good sense of the emotions it generates. In my experience, these kind of questions arise from two categories. The first is fear; fear of being looked at as a weirdo, fear of being an outcast, fear of not being understood, and perhaps most importantly fear of failure and people seeing you as a failure. The second is pride. I have found it easy to proselytize about my ideas self-actualization and the ego when I see issues arise in others, particularly when I am in the "zone". Sounding holier than though can pop up quite unexpectedly, especially in the beginning of your practice.

In the end, I think it comes down to being mindful and respectful of your parents selves. There is no reason to withhold who you are from your parents, but there is no reason to broadcast how wonderful you are either (not that I think you're doing either, I'm just representing what I think are the two poles). Be honest and open, but remember that they are their own selves and on their own journey and have their own ideas. Respect that.

Hope that helps. 

 

[dude]

what is emotionally the hard thing to do?

I told my parents that I was meditating for 30 minutes every day but they were not schocked their response was: "Ya gotta do what you gotta do." My parents are quite openminded so that is why they responded like that. And overall I tell my friends that I read a lot of books on the self-help subject but never had a longer conversation about it.

[Wilm]

Don't tell them, just keep following your own plan. They will probably soon start asking questions, where all you results come from. I think this is way more powerful than telling a story. Results will tell the story!

[Adam G]

Just walk the walk.

[Argue]

On February 9, 2016 at 2:58 PM, Samuel said:

I only started self improvement a year ago and have not really talked about it to my family other than recommending some meaningful self help books. Should I let them know I want to become self actualized?

Forum is great btw!  Gonna be spending a lot of my free time here.

No. Keep your business to yourself.