Back again?

[Applegarden]

Hmm, yes hello...

Thinking about creating a proper youtube channel of microtonal music theory and pieces. I have deleted many, even the one that had 20 subs.  Something bad happens and I just delete it. I don't want to share anything when I am miserable. Just meditate the sorrow of and go existential-mode until the courage happens again and again. Yes... the neighbour, the wage slavery... ups and downs... but there have been many ecstatic ups that makes me wanna quit music for good. But I feel like I have something unique to share, it just requires presitence to do, in this lifetime.

Bought a voice recorder for the neighbour, just in case... for the legals. And buying a saraswati figurine, that used to be my profile pic. I have some consciousness experiments to do meanwhile I can't do anything. Yesterday I got a bit of an awakening or little experience, maybe enlightenment related, I do not know.

Anyway I feel like a proper educational yt would be nice since I can do everything quietly, except narration. And slowly working up pieces of music of two types. Guitar based, electronic based or both - only microtonal. I am particularly interested in avant-garde with the electronic stuff. Could be cool to structure avant garde in a structure like mathcore while keeping it's qualities in tight rythm. Seems like a lot of trial and error. Marryane Amacher did it her way. But she did it full time. Anyway. Despite everything I am so grateful for this life.

 

[Applegarden]

Easily one of the best pieces/albums in music I have ever listened to.

 

[Michael569]

Aaaay ?‍♂️ haven't seen you around for a bit. Or maybe it's the lack of Shiva with guitar ?

[Value]

@Applegarden This shit is fcking amazing.

[Applegarden]

23 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Aaaay ?‍♂️ haven't seen you around for a bit. Or maybe it's the lack of Shiva with guitar ?

Yes, I decided to fall back a bit with the journaling. Good to see you doing great, Michael. That was not shiva esentially, that was devi Saraswati. The symbol (and acctually not a symbol at all but more like an energetic entity or a conscious machine or higher being) of intelligence, education, knowledge, art, music, wisdom. In hindu mythology (in my opinion, hindu history) many actual enlightenes beings created these forms or even forms of themselves, like devi Menaakshi, who was a south indian saint and many, many others. You can even feel the divinity from the symbol of christ, buddha, krishna, shiva e.c.t., but with devotion, rituals e.c.t. it goes much deeper than that. Since devi saraswati is mentioned in baghvad gita, it is pretty ancient devi, altho it doesnt even matter, you could create your devi to whatever image, or your image, and still derive the benefits of entertaining the aspects of your higher self, playing with divine. It can even develop psychic powers or these deities come and bless you in form or in dreams, of course, that is what I have heard, so I bought exact figurine and plan to do something with her and myself.

But apart from that, everything is shiva, either me, you or saraswati, so you are also right.

This time i don't want to share too much, I have not quit music, and I am planning on how to come to a place where I can practice. And I am more happy wheb journaling privately as I don't have to validate myself to anybody. Thanks for the welcome! :))

3 hours ago, Value said:

@Applegarden This shit is fcking amazing.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Immagine what is out here so amazing e.c.t., but we will not hear it.

[Applegarden]

Microtonal shred from me:

19 tet shred.mp3

Edited January 17, 2021 by Applegarden

[Applegarden]

 

[Applegarden]

Really hard to not enjoy pros playing their best on the games I absolutely adored.

Seeing Serral lose to protoss from time to time is also very nice, especially after the bullshit zerg late game.

Anyway I do have long term guitar solutions, things in mind but I will not disclose them, only when they come out as this little hell continunes. This period really showed me how much I want to play guitar and that I am willing to give up alot of stuff to do so.

The plan for now is very simple. 

Getting a car with an autonomous heater and bunch of power banks/electronics to go to the countryfield and play all day whenever I have a free day from work.

Thinking of a few 19 tone guitar covers and some crazy tuned guitar metal original stuff later.

Ok, I spoiled a bit. But I really don't want to talk about what has not happened, because of doubt and possibility of somebody ruining my life so to say. But at least I know one thing for absolutely sure. I am not the problem, I am perfectly capable to produce discography and very creative music, besides I already have the skills and method of composing, recording, practicing and polishing the sound. It is the unfortunate social circumstances in where alot of people exist that don't want to live their lives and don't want others around them to live their lives. I know i am not powerless and I know exactly what I want. Any criticism of "you can't play guitar" "your music sucks" is not worth anything because I, first of all, see the tremendous possibilities to jam and produce cool music in various degrees, simple or complicated, depending on the circumstances and the criticism of me being umable to play or me playing bad or me being not organized to produce music today doesn't mean much because tomorrow I can have all those things. And I have adopted this renouncing mindset also and just constantly renouncing all the posessions, activities, identities, goals, achievments... and then dping them anyway as I am constantly renouncing them, almost like a zen mindset.

Cheers.

Applegarden, maybe I will make music under a different name, who cares, I am doing this to empty my prarabdha karma anyway and to enrich other music lovers.

[Applegarden]

8) 

 

[Applegarden]

Wow, just remembered this guy and how big of an influence he is on my dreams to conduct my downtuned microtonal jazz/metal experiments...

Hits like a truck...