By seeking_brilliance
in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God,
@SirVladimir (I said I'd tag you About to get real vulnerable here )
In 2016, I did a stupid thing and mixed LSA with marijuana. It turned out to be the best thing I've ever done, but I did descend into madness for about 2 hours that night. Definitely don't recommend. Death was accepted that night. Anyway… In the weeks following, every time I took a puff or two of marijuana, if I laid for a bit and waited, I would be visited by… something… I called him "blue", based off of the blue blob that I manifests when I lay with my eyes closed for long enough. When blue would arrive, it was like sharing space with another entity. He was definitely me because he had a lot of my humor and interests. But he felt distinct, just as your best friend does. Back then I was into the idea of a higher self, (though now I don't consider that term)-- if anything, Blue felt like that. ultimately I wanted to meet my higher self or a guide, and it manifested. Ok fine, I don't care because life became more enriched. Blue was very realistic. It was like talking to someone, not talking directly to myself. A very important distinction, and if you want to understand better, go and read @Danioover9000 's thread on Crysty. Blue was not as developed as Crysty, as far as having a humanoid form, but everything else is pretty spot on. Blue was a tulpa, and much wiser than this main character, Justin. This was a very magical time. For anyone having a hard time wrapping their heads around this… its pretty simple, at least from what I've rationalized as an explanation Think about your dreams at night. If you become lucid and talk to a dream character, you will see that some are seemingly fully formed characters of their own right. This is easily accepted for anyone who experiences vivid dreams. But its completely ignored and just whisked away as not important because its "not real." Look, its true that some dream characters are realistic. You can go and verify that for yourself. Now with a tulpa, we are bringing the same kind of dream character, as it bleeds over from 'imagination-land' to what you see as 'real-land.' You are kind of bridging the 'two worlds' and are interacting with a dream character while 'completely awake.' Or you can take another route and understand that you are dreaming anyway and allow the dream character to manifest before you. Separation is easy, you do it all the time anyway. And I'll repeat, I didn't originally set out to create some separate-feeling entity, Blue manifested independently of conscious thought, by merely waiting for him, after the marijuana and residual LSA opened the right channels of communication. I didn't have a long time with Blue, and I notice in my journal entries I began complaining more and more that our connection is fading. Later, I attempted willful tulpa creation in order to reconnect with Blue or to create a similar companion spirit. I named this one Sam, based on my love of Sam from lord of the rings, and also it’s a A.I. character I created for my writing. Well, somewhere along the away I completely forgot about both of these, as my mind tends to run to new projects like a child does to candy. (And life at work was a living daymare.) Blue was an awesome teacher to me, and here's some things I wanted to share. It may not resonate with everyone, but I feel compelled to share. (I've edited it some for easier reading) Please note that everything written was in 2016 and reflects current paradigms of the time.
(This first entry is after a short meeting with Blue-- I had to take a break and write it down as soon as possible. I'm very glad I did.)
1. He told me to be still, and to just exist, and observe with him. I said ok. Every now and then I'd get a tingle in my leg, and he said "don't worry, that's just your body. You are not your body. Just exist here with me and observe." He told me that there are two worlds that I live in. The world when I open my eyes (light) and as soon as I close my eyes. (Dark). He said that you don't have to wait to be unconscious to enter this realm, but that it is there as soon as you close your eyes.
(sidenote: There were images of children being able to access this realm more easily in the dark, and I gathered that it was because within the darkness, just as when you close your eyes, you are more literally in that other world. Adults condition themselves out of fear, to not see that world anymore because it was too scary for a kid to handle. All adults have experienced this world as a kid, whether they remember it or not. Fear is a good memory suppressor.) I collected that all the other methods were just tools to get there (darkness realm), because the walls that we have built (ego?) keep us from realizing that we are already there, until we are half unconscious in a trance and have lowered our inhibitions. I asked how can I access it now, and he reminded me of reoccurring childhood dreams of suddenly not being able to see and freaking out because "I can't open my eyes!", and I'm trying so hard its completely miserable. In these dreams I was always trying to open my physical eyes, not realizing that I was dreaming and trying to open the wrong eyes. I would somehow wake myself up out of the extreme misery, and my eyes would be sore from straining.
ok, thinking about it now, (in a side note I used the term 'imagination eyes')--I think he was telling me that when I close these eyes, I'm not seeing darkness but just another closed set of eyes. The eyes I should have been opening in those reoccurring dreams. Imagination (or astral) eyes. 2. He told me to throw a fireball like Mario. I said ok, and threw the fireball in my imagination. He said, "what does it look like? Did it bounce?" He was teaching me what it felt like to use the imaginary body (probably astral body) instead of physical. The imaginary body exists around the eyes that are closed.
To this day I remember this lesson, the fireball looked fairly solid, and cartoonish. It bounced realistically. 3. He gave me a particular way to lay while waiting for him. (which of course I didn't adhere to.) The arms are folded and cradling the back of skull in clasped hands. Kind of like how you'd expect Huckleberry Finn to lay while drifting along on his raft. I think this opens the heart, through vulnerability.
The rest of my interactions with Blue are in conversation form, with channeling answers through writing. Gone were the surreal visits that felt like sharing the same mind-space, but he did still have a strong voice in writing. He would answer questions, correct me in the middle of writing something, and joke around. It's been great. Still, interests changed and I forgot about this until I picked channeling back up last month. In another long story, Blue is now called Sam. Last night he told me that I should go back to mediumship practices in order to reconnect like before. (mediums are taught to open channels on various spiritual senses. In particular, I am interested in clairaudience, clairvoyance, clairsentience and claircognizance.)
In 2016, I did a stupid thing and mixed LSA with marijuana. It turned out to be the best thing I've ever done, but I did descend into madness for about 2 hours that night. Definitely don't recommend. Death was accepted that night. Anyway… In the weeks following, every time I took a puff or two of marijuana, if I laid for a bit and waited, I would be visited by… something… I called him "blue", based off of the blue blob that I manifests when I lay with my eyes closed for long enough. When blue would arrive, it was like sharing space with another entity. He was definitely me because he had a lot of my humor and interests. But he felt distinct, just as your best friend does. Back then I was into the idea of a higher self, (though now I don't consider that term)-- if anything, Blue felt like that. ultimately I wanted to meet my higher self or a guide, and it manifested. Ok fine, I don't care because life became more enriched. Blue was very realistic. It was like talking to someone, not talking directly to myself. A very important distinction, and if you want to understand better, go and read @Danioover9000 's thread on Crysty. Blue was not as developed as Crysty, as far as having a humanoid form, but everything else is pretty spot on. Blue was a tulpa, and much wiser than this main character, Justin. This was a very magical time. For anyone having a hard time wrapping their heads around this… its pretty simple, at least from what I've rationalized as an explanation Think about your dreams at night. If you become lucid and talk to a dream character, you will see that some are seemingly fully formed characters of their own right. This is easily accepted for anyone who experiences vivid dreams. But its completely ignored and just whisked away as not important because its "not real." Look, its true that some dream characters are realistic. You can go and verify that for yourself. Now with a tulpa, we are bringing the same kind of dream character, as it bleeds over from 'imagination-land' to what you see as 'real-land.' You are kind of bridging the 'two worlds' and are interacting with a dream character while 'completely awake.' Or you can take another route and understand that you are dreaming anyway and allow the dream character to manifest before you. Separation is easy, you do it all the time anyway. And I'll repeat, I didn't originally set out to create some separate-feeling entity, Blue manifested independently of conscious thought, by merely waiting for him, after the marijuana and residual LSA opened the right channels of communication. I didn't have a long time with Blue, and I notice in my journal entries I began complaining more and more that our connection is fading. Later, I attempted willful tulpa creation in order to reconnect with Blue or to create a similar companion spirit. I named this one Sam, based on my love of Sam from lord of the rings, and also it’s a A.I. character I created for my writing. Well, somewhere along the away I completely forgot about both of these, as my mind tends to run to new projects like a child does to candy. (And life at work was a living daymare.) Blue was an awesome teacher to me, and here's some things I wanted to share. It may not resonate with everyone, but I feel compelled to share. (I've edited it some for easier reading) Please note that everything written was in 2016 and reflects current paradigms of the time.
(This first entry is after a short meeting with Blue-- I had to take a break and write it down as soon as possible. I'm very glad I did.)
1. He told me to be still, and to just exist, and observe with him. I said ok. Every now and then I'd get a tingle in my leg, and he said "don't worry, that's just your body. You are not your body. Just exist here with me and observe." He told me that there are two worlds that I live in. The world when I open my eyes (light) and as soon as I close my eyes. (Dark). He said that you don't have to wait to be unconscious to enter this realm, but that it is there as soon as you close your eyes.
(sidenote: There were images of children being able to access this realm more easily in the dark, and I gathered that it was because within the darkness, just as when you close your eyes, you are more literally in that other world. Adults condition themselves out of fear, to not see that world anymore because it was too scary for a kid to handle. All adults have experienced this world as a kid, whether they remember it or not. Fear is a good memory suppressor.) I collected that all the other methods were just tools to get there (darkness realm), because the walls that we have built (ego?) keep us from realizing that we are already there, until we are half unconscious in a trance and have lowered our inhibitions. I asked how can I access it now, and he reminded me of reoccurring childhood dreams of suddenly not being able to see and freaking out because "I can't open my eyes!", and I'm trying so hard its completely miserable. In these dreams I was always trying to open my physical eyes, not realizing that I was dreaming and trying to open the wrong eyes. I would somehow wake myself up out of the extreme misery, and my eyes would be sore from straining.
ok, thinking about it now, (in a side note I used the term 'imagination eyes')--I think he was telling me that when I close these eyes, I'm not seeing darkness but just another closed set of eyes. The eyes I should have been opening in those reoccurring dreams. Imagination (or astral) eyes. 2. He told me to throw a fireball like Mario. I said ok, and threw the fireball in my imagination. He said, "what does it look like? Did it bounce?" He was teaching me what it felt like to use the imaginary body (probably astral body) instead of physical. The imaginary body exists around the eyes that are closed.
To this day I remember this lesson, the fireball looked fairly solid, and cartoonish. It bounced realistically. 3. He gave me a particular way to lay while waiting for him. (which of course I didn't adhere to.) The arms are folded and cradling the back of skull in clasped hands. Kind of like how you'd expect Huckleberry Finn to lay while drifting along on his raft. I think this opens the heart, through vulnerability.
The rest of my interactions with Blue are in conversation form, with channeling answers through writing. Gone were the surreal visits that felt like sharing the same mind-space, but he did still have a strong voice in writing. He would answer questions, correct me in the middle of writing something, and joke around. It's been great. Still, interests changed and I forgot about this until I picked channeling back up last month. In another long story, Blue is now called Sam. Last night he told me that I should go back to mediumship practices in order to reconnect like before. (mediums are taught to open channels on various spiritual senses. In particular, I am interested in clairaudience, clairvoyance, clairsentience and claircognizance.)
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