Creating an Extraordinary Life PT.2

[Average Investor]

I am really going to keep working at moving out. The amount of manipulation here is becoming to unsettling. Constant gaslighting and no desire to improve or communicate. I have to admit that I am guilty of not helping out more. However, at a certain point the amount of nagging and asking for things that don't make sense, hits a point where I cannot stand it. I am actually quite calm with being around people who try to instigate arguments with me. It seems seldom I argue these days. To be fair it is just pointless to even object usually. People tend to not want to change their way of thinking or their perception. I am quite good at rejecting peoples bad vibes too. 

I notice I still have a good bit of this victim mentality. I don't think like a winner enough in my life. There is really no reason I cannot have a good place to live and a good income. I think I have went to easy on myself for too long with things. It's been difficult with my health and energy, but it isn't too bad now. I still wonder if something health related effects my attention or motivation. I feel more inclined to try the metal detoxing in hopes that it clears up my mind more and gives me more energy. Even then I should be able to get the things that I want in life. I think being strategic is important for this though too. 

I think that I have a bad perceptions on dating and relationships just from what I have seen in my life. Both of my parents are quite dysfunctional. With how they treat me, but even how they treat their spouses. The amount of just sheer manipulation and literally physical abuse I have seen hasn't helped. I have found myself to be very avoidant with relationships these days. I was watching a video and I notice that I have a lot to work on in this area. I have a hard time committing to things. I lack a lot of results in my life from just not committing. Supposedly people do that to get a feeling of power in their life, which I think I have done to some extent. I cannot be hurt by someone if I don't date them, or fail at something if I don't try. I think I have some susceptibility of dating people who are not as valuable as me. I was unconsciously using that as a way to make me valuable. Like where the other person could not lose me in a sense. I have even kind of had a small fantasy of basically just "saving" a random girl. In the sense of being able to provide so much value to them, that they cannot return it. I am not sure how to put that into wording exactly. Basically, they wouldn't want to lose me at all. There is nothing wrong with me that I could not date a high quality person. I don't need to date people that are inferior. I have done this actually quite a bit in the past. 

 

[Average Investor]

I am getting ready to move out in under 45 days. Lot of bills and bullshit that I need to handle too. I really want to get a little bit of work on my car too. I owe about $800 or so in taxes this quarter. My yearly phone bill etc. I would expect it to cost me about 3k to get into an apartment too. I really don't want to sell any investments, but I might have to. My ebay sales have been really good, but it still seems like it has not been that crazy. It has made it easier. I am not sure how next month is going to look though. I started putting more sales on my items and paying a bit more to promote them. I would like to sell a lot too just because it will be less stuff I have to move, when I relocate. I have been having some anxiety about this for sure. It's tempting to stay in this town, but I know if I move to the city I want to go my income would easily grow with it. I would live by an amazing place to buy electronics at 69 cents a pound. 

I am a bit worried that it could be tough to get approved for a place. I make like 2-3k a month and most places want 3x rent. I would likely pay about 1,100 in rent. I also have really shitty credit because I never use it. I am going to get a credit card and build it, but that probably won't effect my credit much before I apply there. Some places probably would take it, but would want an even higher deposit. Which if I am already dropping 3k is pretty insane. I don't want to settle for some bullshit place that is not closer to this area. To be fair this is the only area I could find with a decent amount of places for rent. Anything close to me is maybe like $100-$200 cheaper, but in a bad place of town. I don't know how great it is there though to be fair. I am planning on looking into the crimes in the area before I rent too. 

Plus this area has clubs all around it too it seems like. I am not sure how much I want to try game or anything, but I would be a couple minutes away from some good night life. 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Average Investor

[Average Investor]

This moving thing really is going to be a bold life change. I have been wanting to do something like this for awhile, but have been to comfortable where I am. I am still a bit worried on how things are actually going to work out. I have been saving up, but still not at the level I need to be. I am making some good progress. So many expenses that I want to take care of though. I am doing a lot more sales and offers to try to make more money and make it easier to move everything. I am condensing things down a pretty good bit right now. 

I did talk to my dad. I just feel like there is not that great of communication. We haven't talked in 6 months anyway. It still bothers me that he never paid me back. He sure didn't sound eager to, but I never asked. I did tell him what I am working on though. So obviously he would know it would help. I mean it is possible he forgot, but I would have a hard time forgetting taking over $1,000 from someone. Even if it was 8 years ago. I guess the reality of it is that I am having a hard time just letting that go. I have worked on forgiving him for a lot of stuff. It's just one of those things that he could easily make right and he doesn't. It really makes me question even bothering with him at all. I can tell it effects how I communicate with him. I feel like he is not sorry for anything that he has done. He never admits to anything and just pretends it didn't happen. So of course there is not really any discussion of things he did in the past, when we talk. Really $1,000 isn't really that much money at all. It's just that he doesn't make it right. He never paid for much at all, when I grew up. I lived with him and had one pair of boxers at one point and I would not ask him for them. I had clothes all the time that didn't fit right and other kids would point that out. He was making over $100,000 a year with a paid off house and car. He had that basically the whole time I was with him. My mom that I didn't even live with would pay for all of this stuff. Even my lunches at school because there would not be anything to take. 

I had so many issues as a kid with money. I remember getting in trouble for getting free items at lunch from kids in second grade. The only thing I had to eat was a peanut butter sandwich. I mean sure I was being picky, but that was basically it. That also was not really promoted as an option until my teacher called home anyway. If we got anything new at home we would instantly eat it because generally it was just the same old stuff. I got treated pretty well though overall. Just things like that have probably ingrained a lot of negative beliefs with money. The irony to it was my dad still made that kind of money the entire time. 

I get angry with my mom a fair amount. However, I realize that she has taken very good care of me. She is quite dysfunctional though herself. Her dad would molest her as a kid and this has caused her to have a lot of issues. Still even then she has done good. For whatever capacities she could she has taken care of me. I should work on forgiving her more and just accepting her. Both her and my dad were never really emotionally available to me. So I suppose they are similar there. I can see how a lot of this stuff has shaped the person that I am today. 

I feel like just leaving all of this behind will really help me heal. Just moving away from all of this. I can still work on it and integrate it. Just not partake it much of this stuff anymore. Family is not something that I have really had in abundance. Most of them are quite dysfunctional or just unrelatable. It makes it quite easy to move really. There is nothing in this town that is really offering much for me to stay. 

[Ulax]

You got this dude re moving out.

[Average Investor]

@Ulax I am working at it. I am kicking it into gear for sure!

[Average Investor]

I am so excited to move to this new city. It seems like things are starting to work out. I am getting the money together and things are looking good for this. I hit a record sales month and really have been just trying to push out any inventory that will be hard to move with me. I can feel a bit of overworking creeping up on me though. I am having days that it is hard to not just waste time on the internet. I need to take a solid couple days off soon. I am really going to need a 10-15 a day listing habit to prepare for the increase in my bills too. I will need all next months to help build back up my inventory. I am going to work on liquidating anything not worthwhile or just hard to move. 

I notice a fair amount of people want to talk me out of moving to the city. Some have been surprisingly supportive though. I notice it seems like there is now an increasing need for me to help out around here now too. So the idea of me moving far away doesn't sound like as good of an idea to others. Of course a week ago that was a different story. I cannot live my life around helping my mom do chores and things. 

I am so glad that I am pushing to make this change in my life. I have been stuck in too many cycles here for too long. This should really propel my growth. 

[Michael569]

14 hours ago, Average Investor said:

I notice a fair amount of people want to talk me out of moving to the city

yop! I remember this one when I was moving out as well. Family dynamics can be quite toxic at times like these when the pendulum is swang. All the best in days & weeks to come. 

[Average Investor]

@Michael569 Thanks! I am going to double down on it! 

[Average Investor]

I've been working so much it seems like lately. Sales have just been insane. I have been taking a lot of offers, but getting old with everyone offering 50% off lol. I am trying to move a lot of stuff though, but some of the stuff just seems better to donate. The shipping time has just been insane. I spent most of today just shipping out orders. I really need to get into a few niches to cut this kind of handling time down. That is way too much. 

The youtube stuff has been pretty fun. I am surprised at the results I am getting even though they are not that crazy. I am not really doing a lot of heavy marketing though. I really want the SEO stuff to work, but it just seems like there is so much content out there in the areas I want to make stuff. Either way, I am happy with my speaking progress even just over the last few weeks. I am really getting some good training in compared to before.

I can feel the stress building up from working so much. I really need to relax, but it hasn't really been much of an option lately. The shipping alone has just been insane. I need to really cut off sourcing items too. I can maybe do a little here and there, but I don't want to haul a bunch of crap, when I move. I need to catch up on all of the stuff that is just laying around anyway. Although, it has actually got a lot better than it use to be. I don't carry around too much extra stuff. I am going to dedicate some time to relax. I need to at least take a day off probably Wednesday. 

 

[Average Investor]

I really want to focus on cutting out more BS from my day. The more truthful I am to myself about how I spend my time the better it seems. So many times I get sucked into looking at garbage on the internet. I cut out a lot today and I got way more done. I will have time to read and do all of the stuff that I want. I am trying to build up a 10 listings per day habit as well. I really should be trying to go for 15, but I need to just slowly ramp things up. Once I move I bet that I could do 20 a day much easier. I will pick a lot better items as well. I am going to trim fat there too with my time. 

I really need to kick it into gear for applying for places. I am actually getting really close to having enough money in cash for a deposit with first and last months rent. I am amazed at how fast I came up with this money. I was able to make this money in a few weeks. Sales were just insane. I am going to work on trying to liquidate some of my inventory locally. That should help free up more cash and make it a bit easier. I really need to come up with whatever money I can still. There is bound to be more expenses than what I am thinking. I still feel really good about how this has gone though for me. 

 

[Average Investor]

It feels like I am getting my reselling stuff done much better now. I am still working on butting out distractions. That was one thing I wanted to hit on this year and it seems to be doing okay. I feel like I am less stuck on the internet, but I still have more to work on here. My goal has been to work on my speech articulation too and I did miss two days. However, it has been going pretty good. I am making sure that I actually track how much I do and if I miss out. I can tell I have got a bit of progress. I want to work on adding back in my LP stuff that I have slacked on a bit. I have not really been so focused on that. Granted, I feel like I am a little overwhelmed with stuff. 

I bought myself a little more time here. I am still going to move out, but not having a set date is nice. I have a couple hurdles that I need to address. I need to still put in apartment applications to see what I can get though. If I get something sooner I will take it. It's nice to have the pressure off for a date, but at the same time it is nice. I just don't want to hastily take some crappy place and sell off a bunch of stuff cheap to move faster. This is giving me a bit more pace to finish off my inventory and save up some more money. I have been doing great saving up. I am trying to be able to pay 3 months of rent and have a deposit. Someone might want a a little more, but I think this would be okay. Then ideally a bit of money to invest into reselling and an extra month of rent laying around would be ideal. That would take the pressure off of things once I move. I have been researching what I need and it seems like I can rent through my LLC, so I am not sure what is best yet. I have really thinned down my reselling business too. I have a bit more to work on still though. 

The situation here has been better just because the focus has been taken off of me for now. My moms boyfriend has brain cancer and it is not looking good. A good bit of the issue here was just my Mom wanting me to do more stuff and since her boyfriend came back, she had him do it all. Well, he might go blind soon and might die. So that kind of took that off the table. I think it made her realize that I do help a lot. I helped him a good bit already with doctors stuff. I am not going to just cab him around though all the time. I feel for him, but it really is not my responsibility. I am not going to have this take off too much focus from moving out. I can see myself really growing and expanding getting out of here. So many new opportunities too. I can't wait to see what kind of inventory I can get too.  

I did experiment with having a glass of wine a couple times. It's strange in how it effects my mind now. I actually missed my base state a couple times. It's almost strange to have to just relax like that to be okay with it. I feel like I tried to convince myself this stuff was better than what it was. I might buy a bottle or two a year. But it really isn't all that exciting. I don't see anything wrong with having 4oz every now and then. 

[Average Investor]

I've been working quite hard at making some really good videos now. It has been quite fun doing this and it is pushing me to grow my speaking skills a lot. I wish I had a bit more time to put towards this stuff, but it has been going really good. I am now over a month of being consistent with uploading. 

 

 

[Average Investor]

I stayed up super late to produce some content. I have felt like crap for a bit now. Yesterday in particular I felt like garbage. I felt so much limiting beliefs and just a negative attitude towards it. Still, I did manage to produce some content. I am not quite as happy with it, but I still made something. I really want to get on ahead and actually make content in advance. Right now I am having a hard time finding items to resell, so I could just work more on this and get it ahead. 

I have actually considered getting a job to help me move. I would be much more likely to get approved for an apartment. Since, my business income and job income would be good. Not only that, right now it would be ideal to really stack up a lot of extra money. Once spring starts to hit I can get a ton of inventory if I move. I notice again, that I am having some backlash to moving. I also hate the idea of working at a job honestly. I have not worked at a job in probably like 5 years or more. Since, they need help here and my time restrictions are not in place. I can tell right now I don't make enough. I did for a few months, but I am just simply not finding much inventory. I sold all of my best items and I am still selling a lot of stuff, but it is not nearly as good of quality. I don't have enough stuff to replenish it. Thrift stores in town are a waste of time right now. I am probably going to travel up to where I want to move and go sourcing once a week. It will be a bit more work, but I can get a bit more of an idea on the kind of thrift route that I want to make.

Ideally, I would like to figure out how to just make the money with my reselling business. If I were already living there I would have surplus of inventory. I have like $3,500 saved up or so. I have been taking a beating with returns, taxes, rent, etc. Still that is solid. That is actually enough to move into a place right now if they did not want more upfront. Still, I want a few thousand bucks ready for inventory. I will need it for sure.  Ideally, I need a few months extra of rent too. Reselling is not always that consistent, so having something to fall back on is ideal. Consistent efforts would help a lot to level this out, but some seasons are intense if I am buying a lot. 

[Average Investor]

Invested a good amount of time into my editing. I am really happy with the results. I have a bunch of more deep research topics to come. 

 

[Average Investor]

I have been struggling to really set times for myself to get videos done ahead of time. I am going to make sure by Wednesday that I know the topic I want to shot. That is my biggest issue currently. Life has been going quite well though. I am busy and getting things in order a bit it seems. I am learning a lot about heavy metal chelation right now. Made a really good video considering how much time I had. I think that I could provide a lot of good information on this as I continue to read and learn about this stuff. 

 

 

[Average Investor]

I gave a speech evaluation today and the speaker said it nearly brought a tear to their eye it was so through. It is so crazy how far I have come doing this kind of stuff. I have really be doing more deliberate practice these days and it is showing more and more. I wish that I could have been more serious on my speaking skills, but even then I have come a long ways. I was petrified of public speaking, when I was younger. I had such bad anxiety too. This almost feels effortless these days. 

I have been doing some heavy research on heavy metal detoxing. I think it is time for me to do some test rounds and see how it goes. I have seen some report placebo earlier on, but I want to actually thoroughly document how I feel and what changes. Hopefully, I can get some good benefits from trying this. It seems safe and effective, so hopefully this will help me. These days I am way better off than before as it is, but the healthier I get the more things I notice that are wrong lol. 

I feel a lot more momentum going with my reselling business. Slow and steady, but it is going well. I am really redoing the business. I am only selling used shoes, stereo equipment, vacuum parts, golf clubs, and kitchen appliances. Still a good mix of stuff, but that is the best that I can do in this smaller area. I have to have a mix of stuff. I do want to start traveling more. I might start selling more clothes though too. So clotches might become one of the top categories. Just getting the most abundant things and selling more of them. 

I have to admit right now income is not that amazing. So it was good that I did not move. I need to really figure this out. I think that I am going to be a bit out of commission though if I start chelating. I will see if I can get that under control. Ideally, I want to move still though. It might take a bit though. 

[Average Investor]

I feel amazing since I started adding in supplements. I feel like dancing almost, which I don't even dance. I am almost positive that I was deficient in at least zinc. My mood and energy has just been much better since I started taking them. I am going to be experimenting with some stuff like ashwaganda ksm-66 soon to see if it can help my adrenals.  

I still notice that I need to work a bit on my digestion. I could try some digestive bitters soon. I was considering looking into some digestive enzymes though too. 

My overall ability to work has improve a lot. I feel like I am tackling a lot of the tasks that were harder to get into now as well. 

[Average Investor]

Put a lot more work into my video this time. It seems like it went a lot better. I need to work on shortening things up. This is work that I actually feel good about producing into the world. I think there is a lot missing in the world for being healthy. Out toxic culture doesn't care about health much at all, or simply doesn't know. I am excited to see how this goes moving forward. 

 

[Average Investor]

It is getting quite a bit easier to do all of my work it seems like lately. I have still been playing around with improvements for my energy. I am preparing to do some chelation, but I have to admit I am a bit worried about how my energy might be then. It has been nice to be getting on top of things and not be behind, or not have much going on. I feel like my income is going to keep growing well if I can keep this up. I feel really good about how my youtube channel is going as well. It isn't blowing up, but the results to me feel really good considering how little advertising I do. 

I am working on cutting out stuff that is not serving me as much. I had been playing video games while I was eating dinner, but I am going to switch that to learning stuff. I bought this course for taxes that is specific to my reselling business. I think this would really help me enhance my business a lot. I want to be a lot more prepared for this stuff and get better discounts on taxes. I could use this for more courses in the future too. I want to buy a speech course sometime in the future as well. I still have a bit of the LPC to do still. I don't know why I put that off so much, but at least I am actively working on my life purpose. 

I am tired of being in a time crunch or late etc. I a working on getting my youtube and ebay business ahead for listings and uploads. It seems like it is going pretty good. I feel like the bar is set pretty low for ebay right now. To be fair it is not quite the season for inventory just yet either. It will be soon. So maybe I should try to get a bit of surplus of videos ready to be uploaded. It is a bit difficult to do that though sometimes. I struggle a lot with video ideas, but it has been getting better. 

 

[Average Investor]

Found a huge lot of nintendo stuff that will really help me boost sales. Super easy to list and I should make a good amount from this. I have been running low on inventory for a bit, so this will really help. I am going to focus on getting everything ready for summer. Since it is starting to get nice out. I need to work on finishing out my old inventory. I want it to be smooth going this summer. 

I feel so much better it seems like. I have been testing sleep times and actually sleeping in a bit. Even with a bit less time in the day it feels like I am more productive. I should start getting my schedule down a bit more though. I want to really be on top of things. It was really nice this week to feel ahead on everything. I wasn't rushing to the last minutes to get my new video out or anything. I am going to use my lot of games that just came in to help me get all caught up on my future listings too. I am going to keep working on having that buffer of listings ready. I would love to have a buffer video ready, but it takes a good bit of work to have one ready. I think having video ideas and keywords ready though is really important. 

I am working on getting myself ready to move out financially. It feels like I have taken a few steps back. I have been investing a lot into myself. I am going to do some chelation and stuff. Still it feels like I should be producing more income. I think this summer will be excellent. I feel like my business is really ready to double in income this year at least. I have so much more processes in place and I know so much more. It will be tough to keep pace with youtube, but I really want to commit to it. I feel good making videos and I enjoy it. I have no clue what I am doing with it, or what it will lead to, but it feels right. 

I feel really good about this new version of my sibo food guide.