Help with Metta (Loving-kindness) meditation

[ErikMeskanen]

Been doing daily loving-kindness meditation towards 4 different individuals since October 2019. Now having difficulty with finding individuals I have conflict/distress with since they are not in my life anymore or I do not have "negative" emotions towards those individuals any longer. What to do about this?

 

To solve this issue, I have just targeted my loving-kindness to 2 individuals I do not know well, but meet occasionally - "neutral" individuals.

 

I picture the individual extremely happy and try to feel their happiness in my heart as I do metta meditation. Would it be better to picture their faces in my mind as I repeat the loving-kindness phrases towards them and try to feel their happiness in my heart?

 

I use Insight Timer with an unguided timer of 25 minutes. Usually standing, eyes closed.

 

My daily metta practice:

 

First I select a close individual and repeat the following phrases in my head:

"May (name) be safe."

"May (name) be well."

"May (name) be free of suffering."

I picture the individual extremely happy and feel the meaning of the phrases in my heart. I meditate for about 5 minutes repeating these phrases (ofc NOT looking at the timer) for each individual.

Next, I continue on myself. I repeat the same phrases towards myself for about 5 minutes.

Then I continue on a neutral individual, which is usually an individual I meet perhaps once a month or once a year. Again 5 minutes.

Lastly, I try to find an individual I have conflict with. I find this extremely difficult now, since I feel I have let go of all the pain I have felt towards those individuals I used to have "negative" emotions towards. Any tips? Another 5 minutes for this individual.

 

Yes, as calculated, this is a total of 20 minutes, but usually as I don't open my eyes and look at the timer, I usually meditate longer for each individual and eventually the metta meditation session lasts for 25 minutes.

[Nahm]

God bless. ?? 

[okulele]

How about directing your loving-kindness into anything you have going in your life? For example, if you have a hard time with money, direct your loving kindness to the very core of the feeling that is behind it. If you are not totally clear with your sexuality, direct loving-kindness to the core of that. If there is anything in your life that is less than totall-loving-kindness (lol) direct your loving-kindness into the deepest core of that. Sounds good?

[ErikMeskanen]

@okulele Right. Thank you for this practical advise!

[kag101]

Does your practice feel natural? 

I think that practicing Metta can quickly become something "inauthentic", especially when I'm picturing someone I don't like... 

[peanutspathtotruth]

The most authentic and powerful metta meditation in my experience is just focusing and surrendering to the "feeling" of love in the heart, which at some point consumes everything. As such, it's an amazing entry point for inquiry and do nothing meditation. I'm not sure about this, but might the thinking about loving others and oneself just be a way to trigger this spark? To me at least directed love feels quite limited compared to the essence of the love itself, in which one can simply bathe ?