Something casual

[Gesundheit2]

I keep seeing her in my dreams. My uncle's wife. Sexual dreams, but not so explicit. We flirted and kissed but haven't fucked yet.

I saw her three times so far, but not consequently. There have been time gaps.

We actually live in the same building, but I don't daydream about her. I literally don't think about her at all, but now I might.

This is crazy.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

So, my sister relapsed recently. We talked to her psychiatrist, he said we need to increase the doses, or change the anti-psychotic to something from the second generation (while risking having new side effects like weight gain). Nothing I wouldn't expect from a traditional materialistic douche bag, to be honest. I've been telling my parents to stop the medications from the very first week, but they kept refusing and preferred to stick with the doctor's plan. They're very afraid and don't understand. The doctor just doesn't understand.

Haloperidol causes tremors and other side effects, and my sister is especially sensitive to hand tremors because she's a dentist and for her that means no more work. So when the drug took full effect, the tremor got maximal, and she got paranoid and delusional again. The doctor prescribed Procyclidin from the beginning to nullify the tremor, but apparently it didn't work. He said we should increase the doses, of both drugs. But he's crazy. I say we should stop the medication altogether.

Finally my parents agreed to my plan after weeks of rejection. We stopped Haloperidol two days ago, and she started improving. All she needs is rest, and good company. I know how to treat mental illnesses cuz I treated myself from a bunch. The first thing you need to do is to isolate the cause of the illness and remove it from your life, at least temporarily for whatever time you need. In the case of psychosis, it's the stress and overthinking that cause the paranoia and hallucinations. Where do they come from? Mainly from work and her programmed thoughts. My parents thought it's okay if she went back to work immediately, even though I warned them that it was still premature. Now they see. So, no more work/stress for her until she's ready, and in the meantime I will be working on improving her thoughts, maybe I'll teach her meditation too. Nature is also important, so I'll make her go out with mom in the spring. Drugs are not always necessary, and in our case they have been harmful even. But that's essentially what healing mental illnesses takes in a nutshell, the rest is a matter of time.

The rule here with mental health is, extract the pathology from its roots, cut off its supplies, and create new healthy ways of thinking and modes of being. The thing with drugs is that they suppress the real issue without ever addressing it, and they have a lot of side effects, which by time will create more issues than they will solve. There is no need for drugs because there is no real illness to begin with. Everyone has a certain capacity and sensitivity to stress. And at some point, anyone will break. Basically just know your limits, and you will be fine.

Edited February 9, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

When I was a slimey lesbian.

 

[Gesundheit2]

Yes, please!

[Gesundheit2]

Silent mind. Perfect stillness. Peace of heart.

Throw whatever you want at me, I don't care, I don't feel hurt anymore.

I'm wide open. And I can close on demand. The gates are guarded. I am safe, and dangerous.

I have myself, what do you have?

Edited February 11, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

This level of skill made me question my entire existence!

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

The field nearby.

[Gesundheit2]

The public/central park. My favorite meditation spot.

[Gesundheit2]

Over and over...

Edited February 18, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

Guess My Number

Pig Game

Two mini-games I made a couple of months ago with the help of an instructor. I used HTML, CSS, and JavaScript. Maybe I should return to this and make some more. Maybe I should also optimize them to work better on smaller screens.

[Gesundheit2]

You're not awake, Leo. You're just privileged and delusional. It doesn't matter if most other privileged people are more delusional than you are. You're still not awake. You think you're God, but that's just a projection of your privileged situation. You say other people are God too, but in reality you think that they're an extension of your "Godhood". You're not God, not even a spiritual ego. You're just a dude who's wearing spiritual ego as a mask as a survival strategy. And you're unaware that you are that.

[Gesundheit2]

Clarity & Conclusion:

Apparently, I have a set of interconnected "problems" that cause me trouble interacting with some people. I rarely have problems with people nowadays, but it doesn't hurt to turn this rarely into a never.

Here's a list of my problems:

• Extreme aversion to victim mentality, which trigger me to try to dissolve it every time I see it. I trained myself to be 100% responsible, so it's a habit that I can refine, because in the end it's a good habit and I don't want to get rid of it, but it sure has its negatives at the extremes. Joseph Maynor always stresses that everything has pros and cons. Nothing is absolutely positive or negative. The yin is the yang, and the yang is the yin.
• Tendency for crossing boundaries, which tends to increase even more with people who let down their boundaries for some reason, which is another reason why I don't like people giving me special treatment, because I have an unconscious tendency to abuse it. Looking back, I probably picked up this habit unconsciously from my parents who are always super involved in everything we do. My parents aren't good at people, and so it's no surprise that we struggle too.
• Assuming that my perspective is obvious to everyone else, which time keeps proving that it rarely is the case. Most people aren't as transparent and direct as I am. Combined with the two habits above, this can become disastrous sometimes. So, I assume my perspective is obvious, then I see a hint of victim mentality, so I try to push my perspective down people's throat, and when they push back and resist, that activates my boundary-crossing tendency, and you know the rest.

Solutions:

• Distinguish between displaying your opinions strongly and pushing your perspective down people's throats.
• Understand that people are at different places than you are, and rarely anyone shares your opinions. But don't feel weird or alone, maybe you're just too advanced for the normal person.
• Understand that people have different abilities and capacities for learning.
• Learn to be more detached with your approach.
• Don't try to help unless you're asked to. You can't help anyone who is unwilling/unreceptive/not ready.
• Learn to communicate better, and spend more time trying to read the energy of the other person. I already have this installed, but more of it doesn't hurt.

That being said, I think I already got it all fixed, so I won't be having any more problems. Watch me and see.

Healing/Correction happens at an instant because time is an illusion. Maybe it's a unique ability that I possess and others don't, but it sure is a great ability.

To a new life, absolutely free from social struggling.

Edited February 20, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

I'm thinking about creating a thread where I debunk solipsism once and for all. I can definitely do it, but should I? I'm feeling lazy, so I could only write a short version of my thoughts. But then I would not be taken seriously, and the thread would probably get locked. I can literally destroy the illusion for Leo and everyone, no kidding. I need some more mental strength, but it's 10 pm here and I'm a bit tired. Maybe tomorrow, or maybe never.

[Gesundheit2]

I realized that at this point in human history there's almost nothing that's not been said or done before. There's no point in flexing your mind trying to reach a certain understanding. Basically, all you have to do is look, then mix and match.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

I know humans, and I know war. You're all just children.

[Tudo]

4 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

I know humans, and I know war. You're all just children.

Interesting.

[Gesundheit2]

The Ukrainian government will surrender within less than three days. The NATO won't be accepting any new members. It's over.