Envy of others - what's the root causes and solution to this?

[SamC]

I have a spiral dynamics red/ orange shadow which boils up as me feeling envious and jealus when people get things I don't. I'm super scared I will miss everything in life and that people will succeed and that I won't. ( Fomo in other words)

I am because of this fear constantly acting and playing a role in order to get the things that I am lacking, and to not look inferior to anyone. What are some ways to work on envy? What are the root causes to envy? Would love your tips and guidance. Thank you!

 

@Leo Gura

 

Edited January 3, 2021 by SamC

[kag101]

[JosephKnecht]

On 1/3/2021 at 3:24 PM, SamC said:

I am because of this fear constantly acting and playing a role in order to get the things that I am lacking, and to not look inferior to anyone. What are some ways to work on envy? What are the root causes to envy? Would love your tips and guidance. Thank you!

 

Imagine that everyone is you.

Imagine that in the next life, you will actually be reborn into their body and will have everything that you currently envy about them.

Imagine that the other person is YOU. Would you still envy them? Why would you envy yourself?

The best way is not to imagine all this, but to realize it as actually Real. 

Use your Imagination until it becomes a Realization.  

[Rilles]

You said it yourself. You have a Shadow. Grab your flashlight and look into it. 

[SamC]

10 minutes ago, Rilles said:

You said it yourself. You have a Shadow. Grab your flashlight and look into it. 

Yeah but the question is, is there something else I am missing?

[SamC]

5 hours ago, kag101 said:

I think lack of self love and self esteem is what is lacking actually. This pic gave me that intuition.

Thanks for sharing

[Rilles]

24 minutes ago, SamC said:

Yeah but the question is, is there something else I am missing?

1. You live in a society that tells you your self-worth depends on your amount of success, ambition, passion.

2. You havent looked in these parts of yourself, now they are starting to show up as youre becoming more conscious.

3. You dont have confidence in your work because you dont really believe it is of value.

4. You dont really love yourself enough. Do a Loving meditation towards yourself, tell yourself you are beautiful and good enough despite what you do. 

Those are my guesses. 

Edited January 9, 2021 by Rilles

[Hulia]

@SamC It´s easy. Just look attentively around you. All people are suffering. The reasons might be different. But the substance of emotions is the same. Envy is absurd. 

[SamC]

4 hours ago, JosephKnecht said:

Imagine that everyone is you.

Imagine that in the next life, you will actually be reborn into their body and will have everything that you currently envy about them.

Imagine that the other person is YOU. Would you still envy them? Why would you envy yourself?

The best way is not to imagine all this, but to realize it as actually Real. 

Use your Imagination until it becomes a Realization.  

Might have to plug some 5meo in my ass

[SamC]

3 hours ago, Rilles said:

1. You live in a society that tells you your self-worth depends on your amount of success, ambition, passion.

2. You havent looked in these parts of yourself, now they are starting to show up as youre becoming more conscious.

3. You dont have confidence in your work because you dont really believe it is of value.

4. You dont really love yourself enough. Do a Loving meditation towards yourself, tell yourself you are beautiful and good enough despite what you do. 

Those are my guesses. 

Bingo

3 hours ago, Hulia said:

@SamC It´s easy. Just look attentively around you. All people are suffering. The reasons might be different. But the substance of emotions is the same. Envy is absurd. 

Yeah I know. Yet, I still want certain stuff so bad that people have and that I don't have.

It's an ego thing.  Almost like, if you have something and I don't - no one should have it. It's a neediness

Ahh

Insight popped,Now I get it I think. Cause that thing that X person has Is valueble and if someone has that X Thing that I don't have and that means that he is valueble and deserving of love, while I am not and therefore I don't want the person to have it cause I see it as a zero sum game where if that person has it and I don't - I lose ( don't get love)

[Hulia]

46 minutes ago, SamC said:

Insight popped,Now I get it I think. Cause that thing that X person has Is valueble and if someone has that X Thing that I don't have and that means that he is valueble and deserving of love, while I am not and therefore I don't want the person to have it cause I see it as a zero sum game where if that person has it and I don't - I lose ( don't get love)

Yes, and that all is happening only in your thoughts. 

It´s like imagining 1 Mio $ on your bank account - it feels good. Then imagining 0 on your bank account - it feels miserable.

But there is no bank, no accounts, no values to be distributed.  They are all just thoughts.

[SamC]

2 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Yes, and that all is happening only in your thoughts. 

It´s like imagining 1 Mio $ on your bank account - it feels good. Then imagining 0 on your bank account - it feels miserable.

But there is no bank, no accounts, no values to be distributed.  They are all just thoughts.

Thoughts and concepts baby

It's just an idea that is created to get love - yet love is all there is

[Osaid]

 

[SamC]

On 2021-01-09 at 6:09 PM, neutralempty said:

??? Hahahah

[Vision]

Watch the 2 part series on Survival by Leo.

Also watch the 2 part series on Fear by Leo. 

[kag101]

On 09/01/2021 at 6:21 AM, SamC said:

I think lack of self love and self esteem is what is lacking actually. This pic gave me that intuition.

Thanks for sharing

 

[Setzer901]

@SamC

 

Hey man. I understand your pain. This is something that most people struggle with. And it is okay. 

Focus on self-love, like other commenters mentioned. You have an aspect of you struggling to fill that lack of love in your soul. Do some loving-kindness meditation. Forgive your ego, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. 

You kinda answered your own question right there.' to not look inferior to anyone'. You feel inferior = lack of self-worth/feeling useless. Like I said nothing wrong with feeling these things. You aren't alone. 

 

 

[SamC]

42 minutes ago, Setzer901 said:

@SamC

 

Hey man. I understand your pain. This is something that most people struggle with. And it is okay. 

Focus on self-love, like other commenters mentioned. You have an aspect of you struggling to fill that lack of love in your soul. Do some loving-kindness meditation. Forgive your ego, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. 

You kinda answered your own question right there.' to not look inferior to anyone'. You feel inferior = lack of self-worth/feeling useless. Like I said nothing wrong with feeling these things. You aren't alone. 

 

 

@Setzer901

You write exactly like me lmao, it feels like I wrote this to myself. Yeah I am aware bro, I'm actually doing exactly that. I do a loving kindness meditation everyday and have started to accept what I'm feeling.

What I'm trying to grasp however is that nuance that I am not aware of. I'm feeling I'm about to break through via an insight that changes my perception around this. I can't explain it but I sense it for some reason. I'm looking for that one aha moment, and I'm calling it, I will soon start to grasp it. ( than there will be deeper levels to it of corse, but I think you get it)

Thank you for your super kind words man, I really appreciate it. You're compassionate and understanding af - and thats more unusual than one could think. (:

 

 

[Heaven]

You’re not happy with what is and seeks happiness somewhere else. So your mind tricks you to think that once you’ll have this you will be happy. It’s a never ending cycle cuz there are infinite things to have.

Once you’ll be happy with yourself, you will understand that you don’t need anything external to be happy.

If you still don’t know how to be happy, I’ll try to help..

[Setzer901]

@SamC

Glad to help my dude!

Check out Eugene Gendlin's Focusing. A great resource to help you reach those AHA moments by understanding yourself deeply.