Masturbation problem (nofap)

[Shiva99]

I didn't masturbate or watch porn etc for over 3 months straight as a result of feeling very fucked up the last time after i did it. The 3 months went by, felt good overall most of the time, but not so much anymore after month 2.

Today i decided to masturbate again, as keeping myself from doing it was becoming annoying and it started having a weird effect on my life. The horniness was driving me insane, and i started getting aroused by my co-worker who is a 50 year old woman. She obviously is not ugly, and i would definitely have sex with her, but for the most part it was my horniness taking over. As a result i started treating her differently, and our work relationship got better, but at the same time i wanted to get closer to her in ways that was not  so good anymore. I started fantasizing having sex with her at my desk, eyeballing her even though i was trying not to etc. 

Right now after masturbating, i'm not feeling the balanced mood that i was experiencing during my period of abstinence. The Lack of motivation and zest for life that i was experiencing before this is back, and also my social anxiety is back. I'm basically feeling fucked up again. I hate the fact that i can't even masturbate once without feeling like utter shit. 

[Javfly33]

Same. I wish there would be more info in why apparently some people feel so bad after masturbation

[sApBG]

Do fap, do no fap, do whatever you man! Do not regret!

[Sleyker]

Why would you feel bad after pleasing yourself?

I tried that nofap nonsense and gave it up, I now masturbate and watch porn regularly and don't feel bad about it, no changes of mood, motivation or anything like that, I just release that desire and move on with my day.

Nofap dogma made me believe masturbating was something bad therefore I always felt like shit afterwards.

Find what suits you.

That's just my experience and my opinion.

[Danioover9000]

@Shiva99

3 hours ago, Shiva99 said:

I didn't masturbate or watch porn etc for over 3 months straight as a result of feeling very fucked up the last time after i did it. The 3 months went by, felt good overall most of the time, but not so much anymore after month 2.

Today i decided to masturbate again, as keeping myself from doing it was becoming annoying and it started having a weird effect on my life. The horniness was driving me insane, and i started getting aroused by my co-worker who is a 50 year old woman. She obviously is not ugly, and i would definitely have sex with her, but for the most part it was my horniness taking over. As a result i started treating her differently, and our work relationship got better, but at the same time i wanted to get closer to her in ways that was not  so good anymore. I started fantasizing having sex with her at my desk, eyeballing her even though i was trying not to etc. 

Right now after masturbating, i'm not feeling the balanced mood that i was experiencing during my period of abstinence. The Lack of motivation and zest for life that i was experiencing before this is back, and also my social anxiety is back. I'm basically feeling fucked up again. I hate the fact that i can't even masturbate once without feeling like utter shit. 

   Just re-commit to Nofap, get clear about what you want from Nofap, meaning be intentional about the journey. Do research on porn, endocrine system, sexuality. Try to learn about what you masturbate to, how you masturbate, and how you can combine that with the feelings of love, because the more you can bring love into your fapping sessions, the less you feel like a piece of shit for fapping. Also work on a vision for your life, as it works for me.

   Personally, I've done long streaks of Nofap, and when I've relapsed I noticed that my body is not satisfied with relapsing once, and sex binged 4 hours more than my normal sleeping time, relapsing about 4 times, a few times to a porn vid and comic, the next 2 I imagined in my mind, brought more love into the sex. The following day, despite feeling groggy, I visualized my life, and specifically about fitness and martial arts, and later that day I worked out for about 3 hours, doing isometrics, body weight exercises, and martial arts training. I'm still amazed that I could pull this off, because the day before I've sessions. So for me I've found that a vision and dream is what can pull you out of feeling like garbage.

   Also, basic self-help techs and overall health is also good to research and explore too. Also, grit yourself, A.K.A never give up!

   Good luck on your journey!

[Potato People King]

@Shiva99 Did you properly transmute your sexual energy or simply just did not release and otherwise lived the same?

If you do not transmute the incredible energy which is connected with your sexual impulse/desire while on semen retention, the common view is that you will going to have problems.

[AdamDiC]

Dude, life isn't so simple. There is no magic pill for managing sexual energy. It's a system thing.

Get a girlfriend, exercise, find exciting work, get a new hobby, do psychedelics.

If you were successful and rich and you masturbated would you care?

[Lyubov]

how is your diet and nutrition?

[Osaid]

That's very odd that you went 3 months without doing it and feel so bad about doing it now. Are you sure you're not projecting your beliefs about masturbation onto the experience itself? Or maybe abstinence acted as some sort of placebo effect? I would investigate these ideas. You shouldn't feel bad after masturbating when you've abstained for 3 months. 

I haven't had a very good experience with no-fap either. I went through what is called a "flatline" in the no-fap community, and it basically gave me a bunch of erection and libido problems. 

12 hours ago, Shiva99 said:

Right now after masturbating, i'm not feeling the balanced mood that i was experiencing during my period of abstinence. The Lack of motivation and zest for life that i was experiencing before this is back, and also my social anxiety is back. I'm basically feeling fucked up again. I hate the fact that i can't even masturbate once without feeling like utter shit. 

Maybe try a dopamine-detox or start exercising, or both.

[Shiva99]

@Javfly33 @sApBG @Sleyker @Danioover9000 @Potato People King @AdamDiC @Lyubov @Osaid
 

Thanks for all your answers. I've been contemplating alot on this issue of mine this weekend. I came to the conclusion that i'm using masturbation and porn as an escape from my real desire for intimacy and sex. I feel like this is also why i keep feeling unfulfilled and empty after the deed. Fapping is too boring and doesn't fulfill my true desires. I'm fooling myself, and i've noticed how i'm coming up with all sorts of rationalizations of why i'm not able to get a real girl and intimacy in my life. Besides this i'm also aware that i'm nowhere near ready to be in a commited relationship, but rather want to experience a lot with sex. Ultimatly i know that's not gonna fulfill me longterm either, but i feel like that's the way i should go right now.

There is a fuckton of work to do for me still, and i honestly don't know where to start. I've never even approached a girl, and i've only had 2 serious relationships ( 2 years and over ) that happened out of the blue. 

 

[Javfly33]

@Shiva99 Same here bro. We must start hard on pick up once covid wears off 

[Shiva99]

20 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

@Shiva99 Same here bro. We must start hard on pick up once covid wears off 

Ya i don't know man. I didn't do pickup even before covid. I feel like it's weird to just walk up to a girl and start talking to her out of nowhere. 

A lot of conflicting beliefs towards woman and dating. As i said i have a lot of introspection to do.

Edited January 4, 2021 by Shiva99

[hamedsf]

you just neutralized the nuclear bomb when it was at 98.34%.

Just wondering what would it be like if you dropped that nuclear bomb on her right on the desk ??

Edited January 4, 2021 by hamedsf

[Shiva99]

4 hours ago, hamedsf said:

you just neutralized the nuclear bomb when it was at 98.34%.

Just wondering what would it be like if you dropped that nuclear bomb on her right on the desk ??

Lol it wouldn't have lasted for long, that's for sure ahahaha.

[Danioover9000]

@Shiva99

On 1/3/2021 at 5:26 PM, Shiva99 said:

@Javfly33 @sApBG @Sleyker @Danioover9000 @Potato People King @AdamDiC @Lyubov @Osaid
 

Thanks for all your answers. I've been contemplating alot on this issue of mine this weekend. I came to the conclusion that i'm using masturbation and porn as an escape from my real desire for intimacy and sex. I feel like this is also why i keep feeling unfulfilled and empty after the deed. Fapping is too boring and doesn't fulfill my true desires. I'm fooling myself, and i've noticed how i'm coming up with all sorts of rationalizations of why i'm not able to get a real girl and intimacy in my life. Besides this i'm also aware that i'm nowhere near ready to be in a commited relationship, but rather want to experience a lot with sex. Ultimatly i know that's not gonna fulfill me longterm either, but i feel like that's the way i should go right now.

There is a fuckton of work to do for me still, and i honestly don't know where to start. I've never even approached a girl, and i've only had 2 serious relationships ( 2 years and over ) that happened out of the blue. 

 

   Your welcome. On average, how many boners did you have before/after Nofap?

[peanutspathtotruth]

@Shiva99 I feel you! I'm also on my way out of this, but I learned this much: It is an addiction. And it most probably is connected to some suppressed feelings - as you said, maybe suppressing sexual desire, but could also be guilt, shame, etc. Of course these are tied to the act, and when you relapse - there you go. I really think it's immature and myopic of people to be skeptical about why you feel this way after three months. You do feel this way, so penetrate the feelings and learn what they are telling you. I doubt an addiction is worked through in such a short timeframe. Depends on how long one has been primed. I feel like the only way is to confront and welcome the feeling of horniness, not giving in to thinking and fantasizing as best one can, and indeed transmuting the energy, using it for spiritual practice, exercise, relationships, creativity etc. You got this  

[Captain_Diabetes]

On 1/1/2021 at 1:14 PM, Javfly33 said:

Same. I wish there would be more info in why apparently some people feel so bad after masturbation

you never see what monkey do after they finish with each other ? 

[Nahm]

@Shiva99

Must. Discover. Letting thought go. 

Source is looking for every possible angle in. 

Must. Let. Thought. Go. 

?

[Grateful Dead]

You should check out the book 'The Multi Orgasmic Man'. It's a technique from taoism and they teach you how to masturbate and have an orgasm or even multiple ones without losing your sperm. You wont experience any of the negative effects you described after masturbating but actually you will feel peaceful and energized.

It takes a few months to learn how to do it and lots of will power. I only had a multiple orgasm once and it's so crazy good a normal orgasm is literally nothing compared to it.

I can hook you up with the ebook if you want just pm me!