Spirituality has made me frustrated with 99.9%+ of humanity

[BipolarGrowth]

One of my ego’s greatest frustrations in life is caused by people not wanting to actually have a deep understanding of things. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a beer with your friends or watching a football game rather mindlessly, but don’t you want more? To have a conversation with most people about my deepest passion, I have to start with Consciousness 101. There are almost no people with an advanced understanding of what is actually happening. Even many people who pursue this or spirituality for their entire lives just end up caught up in groundless, speculative belief after belief. I was caught up in this for years. I still am to an extent as much as it benefits my human vessel and mind’s survival as I’ve naturally, of course, grown attached to the most consistent aspects of this current dreamstate. Understanding reality is a process of constant revision, editing, throwing out old beliefs, adding new ones, and eventually it evolves into experiencing reality devoid of belief entirely. Understanding as a word doesn’t even do what I’m talking about justice as understanding is just the attempt to put seemingly more developed layers of belief on top of others. What I’m really talking about here is the deconstruction of all ideas about reality. That is the “highest understanding” of reality one can develop. Even enlightenment, awakening, or literally coming in contact with that which is typically considered to be divine or otherworldly is just an illusion dreamt up by consciousness. I’ve had all of those things happen to me to varying degrees, and yes, they are fun. The problem is they aren’t any more true or false than a pothead staring at a bagel listlessly while stoned. It’s all really on the same level. There are no true elevated states of consciousness or low states of consciousness. There is just consciousness. There seem to be better or worse states of consciousness merely because one aligns more with your ego’s desires than the other or one experience is outlandish compared to your typical experience of reality. Sure, things like science or medicine are useful tools for us to live this dream reality as we desire, but we are still just dreaming. Tonight you may dream that you are in pixie mystical fairy land where all entities worship Joseph Stalin. In that reality, it behooves one to worship Stalin. In this reality, it behooves one to understand or at least use the gadgetry of science and medicine. At the end of the day, none of these experiences have any inherent meaning or higher-order purpose to them. No experience is above another in an absolute sense. The experience of seeing Jesus walk on water is, from the absolute perspective, just as meaningful as you killing a fruit fly to keep your home free from pests. Of course, these experiences have relative differences in meaning and perceived purpose. As far as what can be verified by direct experience, there is nothing outside of these different dreams we find ourselves in whether it be a dream at night or the dream you find yourself in while you are reading this. The only consistent thing you will find in any reality/dream is consciousness. When consciousness is not present, nothing is present. To exist is a function of consciousness. Try to show someone something without first using consciousness. You can’t do it. You may think there is a table in your dining room when you are in your bedroom, but there isn’t unless you have a video camera or other device operating that brings it into your consciousness. Now I know many of you are whining at this notion, but please realize that it is a BELIEF that your table exists in your dining room when you are not present rather than an EXPERIENCE. All that we really have is experience. Sure, this dreamstate follows relatively predictable patterns compared to some other dreamstates, but you don’t KNOW for all certainty that the table is there. Following the seemingly rational laws (logic and rationality are 100% human constructions btw) that most people believe govern our reality, the table could’ve been stolen, and thus your belief could be false. Let’s take it one step further. Once something leaves your specific bubble of experience, it no longer exists at all. That could be the planet Earth that you think is outside your house, your mother, etc. You also have absolutely no evidence based in direct experience that other consciousness/conscious entities exist other than yours/you. Finally, I’d like to make it a point that you don’t have consciousness. No beings HAVE consciousness. Consciousness has you and all beings or objects ever perceived. I’ve said phrases like “your consciousness” for the sake of maintaining a relative chance of simplicity in understanding for you. One last thing, the process of finding Truth is actually against survival. That is one reason why it is so rare for people to understand or experience Truth. To live and function successfully as a human being, you have to have countless beliefs. Real Truth at the most extreme level might look like sitting in a chair experiencing consciousness until you die and your body decays.

[LastThursday]

4 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

One of my ego’s greatest frustrations in life is caused by people not wanting to actually have a deep understanding of things.

 

4 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

It’s all really on the same level. There are no true elevated states of consciousness or low states of consciousness. There is just consciousness.

Two levels. Two truths.

Is the ego state of consciousness any better or worse than any other state of consciousness? Why the frustration if you already know the truth?

[BipolarGrowth]

@LastThursday there is the frustration as I currently inhabit the ego level of consciousness most of the time regardless of knowing the Truth and having experienced it. I don’t have the combination of mental health and will necessary to meditate myself to a constant experience of consciousness without the ego. 
 

There is one level and one truth in the same way that time doesn’t exist. Of course the idea of time exists, but time itself is nowhere to be found in direct experience. The idea that there are two levels exists and two truths exists and can seem quite valid just like the idea of time, but that is not found in direct experience. It is found in the illusion of the mind. 

Edited December 31, 2020 by BipolarGrowth

[LastThursday]

It seems to me like you're seeking the answer to a question you already know the answer to.

8 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

I don’t have the combination of mental health and will necessary to meditate myself to a constant experience of consciousness without the ego. 

That's just a story of the mind. Why get rid of the ego? Why meditate? What has will and mental health got to do with it? Why the struggle?

As you say, with or without ego, with or without meditation, with or without will and mental health, with or without struggle, "There is just consciousness".

[BipolarGrowth]

@LastThursday I’m not really seeking an answer at this point. I’m not sure what you’re getting at with that. I’m expressing some frustration as well as doing some writing. 
 

It is a story of the mind, but even stories of the mind are just consciousness. I’m believing that there is the possibility of experiencing a permanent ego-less state, but that is just a story. 
 

The purpose of getting rid of the ego would be to avoid suffering permanently. You meditate to get rid of the ego and thus get rid of suffering. 
 

There is just consciousness as all of these things are just aspects of experience/consciousness. There really is no separation between ego and consciousness in truth, but you can certainly think and experience life as if they are separate things. The real question is what do you do experience with? What do you do the ego with? What does mental health exist within? What not only serves as the framework for all of these things but also permeates every aspect of them and can never be experienced separate from it? Consciousness. 

[LastThursday]

Ok maybe my wording was weird. I meant question in a rhetorical kind of why. Maybe goal is a better word. You want to reach a goal of "constant experience of consciousness without the ego", but you have already reached that goal. 

It's like saying: I want to experience a room without a chair, because the chair is ugly and makes me suffer. The room is Truth, but the beauty and ugliness of its furniture is not Truth. You're already standing in the room, but the furniture is distracting you.

[Guest SirVladimir]

First of all, good thing you've identified where the frustration is stemming from. Although there are a thousand miles to go, you have already gone a thousand. Secondly, people don't need to understand Truth because they are Truth. Understanding is like a great trickster -- he dances round you, he cavorts with words, he whispers to you, "You, my king, are more enlightened than others because knowledge is power." Well, here's an ironic revelation. Everyone is just as enlightened as you are. In other words, you are only as enlightened as you deem the weakest human to be. If you believe there's a criminal, unbridled and boisterous human living somewhere on the planet, that's you -- that's your level of enlightenment, that's your innermost embryo, the ego's citadel, the unloved ugly duckling. As a supposed king, you have claimed the frontmost seat to the tourney of life; you have installed yourself as the frontrunner of spirituality and knowledge while everyone else, seemingly, has been eating your dust. Nothing could be further from the truth. As always, you have been the last one to awaken, you have always been the backmost runner. You are the Alpha and the Omega. Do not claim this age-old cliché to be of no avail: "When you awaken, you are taking the entire Universe with you."

Edit: What is your life purpose? Are you working on something to help your fellow men? 

Edited December 31, 2020 by SirVladimir

[seeking_brilliance]

'people' continue to surprise me, on both ends of the spectrum, non stop. And I bet it's been this way since forever. Hell, I surprise myself on both ends of the spectrum, every day.  At least it's not boring, right? ?

[Brittany]

2 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

One of my ego’s greatest frustrations in life is caused by people not wanting to actually have a deep understanding of things. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a beer with your friends or watching a football game rather mindlessly, but don’t you want more? 

No. I don't want more from my friends. LOL

This reminds of a Benjamin Smythe video. 

What are you using your friends for? You are using them for something, if you need anything more from them other than a football game and a beer. You want something from them. You are trying to get something.

If you need people to intellectually stimulate you or entertain you, that's something you are trying to get.

There is nothing wrong with using friends or hanging around like minded people. Or enjoying a deep conversation. But this all serves the ego. 

On a deeper metaphysical level, other people don't exist as separate from you. Friendship is dualistic division of life and ultimately an illusion. But this goes deep down the rabbit hole. And is another topic altogether.

[Farnaby]

@BipolarGrowth IME this is a phase that comes and goes. 

I think of it as another thought story from the ego that needs to feel special, different from other people, etc. 

I do think that many people numb their consciousness more often than others, but I'm not sure that means they are generally less conscious. Maybe they embody some spiritual stuff more than we think. 

When this thought story is transcended, you can start to appreciate every relationship for what it is.