Gaslighting & Deconstruction

[Tim R]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

I'd like to bring some attention to the problem of gaslighting and the deconstruction of reality.

I think there are some similarities between the two, but the main difference is obviously the intention behind it: gaslighting is purely malicious, manipulative and has no interest in getting any closer to truth.

However: the structure can be similar and the effects can be similar too. Therefore, the deconstruction of reality (which has been the enterprise of Actualized.org for quite some time now) can easily be regarded by some individuals as something rather detrimental and resembling the nature of gaslighting (which is also the reason I think for the numerous accusations of Leo leading a cult, since gaslighting is a very, very common method used by cults).

Those individuals can be left with mostly nothing but the damaging effects of deconstructing their, assumptions, memories, perceptions, beliefs, and overall sense of reality. Which itself can start a whole cascade of psychological and emotional problems, ranging in severity. 

I know, Leo made it clear many times that this work is literally a threat to your life (not your physical life) and that there are dangerous aspects to it, but especially on this forum I sometimes get the impression, that people don't quite understand that there are real threats to this and that not everybody will break through to truth. Some people might simply get stuck in a semi-deconstructed reality full of uncertainties and destructive doubts. 

PS: this is not an accusation; I don't think that the intents of Actualized.org are malicious in any way.

[mandyjw]

I've considered the similarities a lot too. I think the difference is that in true meditation nothing is avoided, but the nature of thought is to separate and the nature of separation is to avoid. So while we can seemingly avoid thinking about things, we often DO think about them in a negative light but avoid dealing with them in a productive manner, or seeing them clearly. As you meditate and put how you feel above your mental judgement of the situation, some subjects are "avoided" until you get to a place of inclusion and understanding that it can be understood in an entirely new light. 

For an everyday example, If I try to help my kid with his homework when I'm completely exhausted, I'm no help and end up yelling at him. If I avoid the homework and meditate for 15 minutes, then I will be in much better position to be of an help to him. You can apply the same principal to serious problems such as traumatic events in your life. It's not wise to tackle problems when you aren't in the position of being able to see clearly and you can tell by how you feel. 

5 hours ago, Tim R said:

I know, Leo made it clear many times that this work is literally a threat to your life (not your physical life) and that there are dangerous aspects to it, but especially on this forum I sometimes get the impression, that people don't quite understand that there are real threats to this and that not everybody will break through to truth. Some people might simply get stuck in a semi-deconstructed reality full of uncertainties and destructive doubts. 

PS: this is not an accusation; I don't think that the intents of Actualized.org are malicious in any way.

It sometimes concerns me that joy, love and inspiration are glossed over here, maybe to make enlightenment seem bad ass, difficult and therefore worthwhile?, when joy, love and inspiration are the way. Danger is not danger when you're in Love. You can imagine anything you want about your situation. If you're aligning with joy, love and inspiration, you're never stuck. Alignment with feeling comes first. The rest follows. 

Edited December 28, 2020 by mandyjw

[lmfao]

@Tim R The way I see it, gaslighting means in abstract that you're degrading or invalidating someone else's emotions and values. A woman might have it done to them if someone says "She's just on her period" if she's acting a little 'crazy'. Another example would be someone who's undergoing moral injury by being forced to conform to some superficial social standards, and in expressing that they're labelled as "just sensitive". 

A lot of people gaslight others everyday, unconsciously most of the time. 
--
Deconstruction might be telling someone that they're not seeing things correctly, but you don't invalidate their current being or make this an issue of them being inferior. And you tell them to not give anyone else control and authority over their internal emotional state. 

Edited December 28, 2020 by lmfao

[Arcangelo]

Back in my day the word gaslighting didn't exist. If you got gaslighted it just meant you where stupid.

 

[Arcangelo]

^I am older than anyone on this thread that's for sure.

Pick up was called: Trying to get laid or a girlfriend

Gaslighting was called: Let's see how stupid this guy is

Incels where called:  Guys that can not get a girlfriend

 

[Forestluv]

28 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

^I am older than anyone on this thread that's for sure.

Not anymore ?