Please help Leo! How can it be sustainable to always do the things you want to do?

[SamC]

In one of Teal Swan's video's she explained how one always should act according to self love, which include always doing what we want to do. In other words don't do stuff you don't want to do. This is a paradox I can't seem to grasp, cause...

I don't always want to work out

I don't alwyas want to meditate 

I don't always want to work on my life purpose

I don't always want to study

Yet... I of course, I want to do all of these things at the same time but only from a higher perspective. My point is that we all have lower drives that don't want to do anything at all... so how the fuck can one do everything that one wants to do? 

I don't get it. I know this has to do with manipulation vs accapetnce/doing what you love but I just don't get it and the confusion freaks me out. Please send help!? What's an explanation to this paradox? What's the nuance that I am missing? Thanks!

For the confusion: 

I'm doing the things I need to do regardless . What I'm trying to understand is the paradox Teal swan talks about.

@Leo Gura

 

 

Edited December 27, 2020 by SamC

[hyruga]

Just do what your higher self wants to do. 

Your lower self of course wants to rest more, eat fast food and play games all day. She cannot be trusted.

[SamC]

10 minutes ago, hyruga said:

Just do what your higher self wants to do. 

Your lower self of course wants to rest more, eat fast food and play games all day. She cannot be trusted.

Yeah but see how sneaky this is. If you always to what the higher self wants to do - than when will you rest and allow yourself to do the things you sometimes want to do aswell?  If you deny your lower self - that's not good either.

So Maybe the point is that repressing stuff also is ego which means that if you force yourself you're using your lower self and not your higher self. Therefor you have to kind of listen to what's best for you according to to higher self which sometimes means being easy on yourself - and sometimes not. It's an interesting hypothesis nontheless!

Edited December 27, 2020 by SamC

[meow_meow]

43 minutes ago, SamC said:

I don't want to work out

I don't want to meditate 

I don't want to work on my life purpose

I don't want to study

To me it actually sounds like it's the other way around, like this:

I do want to work out,
I do want to meditate,
I do want to study,

BUT

I'm too lazy to work out,
I'm too lazy/don't feel like (insert any other excuse here) to do this and that.

Isnt it that you actually want to be able to always want to work out/meditate/study and to always don't want to don't want to work out, study meditate etc?

if thats the case, you might want to look into visualizations, positive thinking exercises - Leo had an exercise where you visualize how you're life would be in 5, 10, 20 years if you did work out, meditate, study etc and how your life would be if you wouldn't. Maybe try this out.

To me it sounds more of a motivation issue, maybe take a look into this vid:
 

 

Edited December 27, 2020 by meow_meow

[Carl-Richard]

2 hours ago, SamC said:

I don't want to work out

I don't want to meditate 

I don't want to work on my life purpose

I don't want to study

Keep doing that then.

[SamC]

2 hours ago, meow_meow said:

To me it actually sounds like it's the other way around, like this:

I do want to work out,
I do want to meditate,
I do want to study,

BUT

I'm too lazy to work out,
I'm too lazy/don't feel like (insert any other excuse here) to do this and that.

Isnt it that you actually want to be able to always want to work out/meditate/study and to always don't want to don't want to work out, study meditate etc?

if thats the case, you might want to look into visualizations, positive thinking exercises - Leo had an exercise where you visualize how you're life would be in 5, 10, 20 years if you did work out, meditate, study etc and how your life would be if you wouldn't. Maybe try this out.

To me it sounds more of a motivation issue, maybe take a look into this vid:
 

 

I think I was a bit unclear. I want to do all of this stuff ( meditation, working out, studying ect) but I don't always want to do them. It's not rainbows and butterflies all the time.

Actually, I'm already doing a lot of things consistently. I visualize, meditate and do yoga everyday and I love it.. but that doesn't mean I always want to do it because it involves emotional labor. 

I still think you got a point though cause I can focus even more of my efforts towards building an even bigger vision for myself. For example i would greatly benefit from start contemplating my death and taking even more action to reinforce and build my LP  vision but I think there is one important piece of the puzzle that I am missing. 

To illustrate what I mean look at this..

 XXXXXXX = the conecept always doing what you love but it's a paradox which I don't get. This is what I'm trying to discover via this post.

Here is a theoretical equation for motivation.

Life purpose + super detailed and concrete vision + contemplation about death + shadow work +  propor expectations  + conciousness work + XXXXXXX = a lot of fucking motivation.

I need to continue to work on all of the above but the thing is that I as of now don't know what XXXXXXX even means. I know I need it but I don't understand it.  Do you have any idea how to explain this paradox??

It's a very complicated equation to develop super motivation - and an even bigger quest to transcend yourself. My current challenge is to understand this paradox!

Thanks for your input though! The video you shared about contemplating death was an eye opener- and yeah, an even bigger vision is defintely needed!

Edited December 27, 2020 by SamC

[SamC]

42 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Keep doing that then.

The problem is that there is a split. I huge part of me want's to do stuff that aligns with my vision but a part of me wants to eat icecream. Sometimes the icecream guy in me is telling me - I want it now and then what the fuck should one do. Should I do what I want as teal swan or realize that the other part of me doesn't want icecream and three for not eat it..  but than I'm not doing what I want and I'm denying myself. What's the right approach?

Edited December 27, 2020 by SamC

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, SamC said:

I think I was a bit unclear. I want to do all of these stuff ( meditation, working out, studying ect) but I don't always want to do them. It's not rainbows and sunshine all the time.

There are generally two ways of interpreting "doing what you want":

1. Being a slave to your impulses.

2. Working towards the goal you want.

The former obviously doesn't require much long-term commitment, and it's a central part of your life, so it shouldn't be neglected, but it could negatively impact your goals. Goals require long-term commitment and sacrifices. Without a goal, your life will follow a path of degeneration instead of a path of growth. However, you can't really achieve your goals by completely ignoring your impulses. That will turn you into a hollow shell of a human being. It's about finding the correct balance between the two.

There is an interesting dynamic called "the rock-bottom theory" which says that if you just follow your impulses like a slave without tending to anything else in your life, sooner or later you'll hit such a low point that you'll either end up dead or completely change your life around. So in context to the two points I've listed, this theory posits that sooner or later, #2 will naturally emerge out of #1, but it's obviously a dangerous strategy.

Some people only learn it the hard way. For example, it's one of the only ways to get out of life-long drug addiction. You realize that it's either #2 or you lose everything. I believe that this dynamic can work in different degrees (you don't necessarily have to become homeless to get the point). In other words, keep "doing what you want" (#1) until you learn first-hand why you need some #2 in your life.

Two good examples of this theory is Steve-O and Brandon Novak (from Jackass). I really recommend this first video:

 

 

Edited December 27, 2020 by Carl-Richard

[lmfao]

@SamC You've definitely hit upon a big dilemma and paradox.
--
One piece of the puzzle might be the negative motivations and negative fuels we run on. We can use fear and negative emotions as motivation to do productive things or worthwhile things. e.g. you're intensely scared of the prospect of being a failure so you force yourself to study, being miserable whilst doing so.But if you use that negative fuel, perhaps it's self defeating and negates the whole point.

So look into those negative motivations
--

You're basically on your own to resolve it, but you in of in yourself already contain all the keys and help you need. But you can still seek outside help, in fact it might be what you exactly need.
Outside things and outside help only work by aiding and invoking the potential that's inside of you.

[SamC]

41 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

There are generally two ways of interpreting "doing what you want":

1. Being a slave to your impulses.

2. Working towards the goal you want.

The former obviously doesn't require much long-term commitment, and it's a central part of your life, so it shouldn't be neglected, but it could negatively impact your goals. Goals require long-term commitment and sacrifices. Without a goal, your life will follow a path of degeneration instead of a path of growth. However, you can't really achieve your goals by completely ignoring your impulses. That will turn you into a hollow shell of a human being. It's about finding the correct balance between the two.

There is an interesting dynamic called "the rock-bottom theory" which says that if you just follow your impulses like a slave without tending to anything else in your life, sooner or later you'll hit such a low point that you'll either die or completely change your life around. So in context to the two points I've listed, this theory posits that sooner or later, #2 will naturally emerge out of #1, but it's obviously a dangerous strategy.

Some people only learn it the hard way. For example, it's one of the only ways to get out of life-long drug addiction. You realize that it's either #2 or you lose everything. I believe that this dynamic can work in different degrees (you don't necessarily have to become homeless to get the point). In other words, keep "doing what you want" (#1) until you learn first-hand why you need some #2 in your life.

Two good examples of this theory is Steve-O and Brandon Novak (from Jackass). I really recommend this first video:

 

 

Super interesting mate. Yeah I know rock bottom is one approach but the thing with that approach is that it is negatively motivated. This approach often leads to jojo effect and it is at the same time as you're saying a dangerous path.  I think there is another approach where you do what you want and you do it with love and positive motivation and higher conciousness ( and that somehow also includes sometimes letting your ego get what it wants - which in reality is getting you what you want.

I think it's a procces where you almost take the ego's needs as your own and don't repress it but at the same time - doing what you want, aka what you think you need to be happy and move closer towards where you want to be. Sometimes that may mean skipping a day of working out. Idk.

David goggins would tell me to shut up and go carry the fucking boats - but that's clearly not sustainable. 

I'll look at the videos though. Thanks!

[Leo Gura]

You're missing stage Blue discipline and work ethic.

You have been spoiled rotten. You gotta spend years building up your work ethic.

[SamC]

36 minutes ago, lmfao said:

@SamC You've definitely hit upon a big dilemma and paradox.
--
One piece of the puzzle might be the negative motivations and negative fuels we run on. We can use fear and negative emotions as motivation to do productive things or worthwhile things. e.g. you're intensely scared of the prospect of being a failure so you force yourself to study, being miserable whilst doing so.But if you use that negative fuel, perhaps it's self defeating and negates the whole point.

So look into those negative motivations
--

You're basically on your own to resolve it, but you in of in yourself already contain all the keys and help you need. But you can still seek outside help, in fact it might be what you exactly need.
Outside things and outside help only work by aiding and invoking the potential that's inside of you.

Love this so much. Yeah this is 100% the case. I've been manipulating stuff my whole life and been working super hard and pushed myself into the wall. All because I have felt like I've been worthless and felt like I HAVE TO do X.

I'm moving drastically towards loving myself and acceptance of everything but it's still very forigien to me. This is why I face this challenge now. It's one of the thing's that is involved with loving myself more.

[SamC]

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You're missing stage Blue discipline and work ethic.

You have been spoiled rotten. You gotta spend years building up your work ethic.

I think you're wrong actually. I work super hard - often also even way to hard so I end up burning myself out.

My problem is not that I can't do it, my problem is that I am driven a lot by negative motivation and that it robs my life. I need to step towards positive motivation - cause the negative motivation is self destructive.  

 

Edited December 27, 2020 by SamC

[OctagonOctopus]

1 minute ago, SamC said:

I need to step towards positive motivation - cause the negative motivation is self destructive. 

Practice Loving Presence, get more a feel for the love feeling so you can follow that rather then bouncing off of pain. 

[Carl-Richard]

19 minutes ago, SamC said:

I think there is another approach where you do what you want and you do it with love and positive motivation and higher conciousness ( and that somehow also includes sometimes letting your ego get what it wants - which in reality is getting you what you want.

I think it's a procces where you almost take the ego's needs as your own and don't repress it but at the same time - doing what you want, aka what you think you need to be happy and move closer towards where you want to be. Sometimes that may mean skipping a day of working out. Idk.

To find something that aligns with both #1 and #2 in a good way requires a higher spiritual drive that must nevertheless be cultivated. This is what is called passion, love, desire for truth. It's an integrative force that pulls everything upwards in unison, but it fades if you let the two aspects get out of balance. It's a non-linear, interactive, transactional process. Work on finding the balance.

[The_Alchemist]

It's not....

It is.....

How?

You have MANY projects

6 hours of their passion DAILY on average
12/16 exercised
8/16 had other projects

Edited December 27, 2020 by The_Alchemist

[StarStruck]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You're missing stage Blue discipline and work ethic.

You have been spoiled rotten. You gotta spend years building up your work ethic.

Is there a best way of doing that?

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

@Leo Gura It's really nice to see you acknowledge the importance of a protestant like work ethic and not just dismiss all work ethic

Of course

Quote

as having no value like how I've seen Gurus do.

What guru dismisses work ethic and discipline? You're making stuff up. Any good guru will be the first to tell you how important discipline and work ethic is.

6 hours ago, SamC said:

I think you're wrong actually. I work super hard - often also even way to hard so I end up burning myself out.

My problem is not that I can't do it, my problem is that I am driven a lot by negative motivation and that it robs my life. I need to step towards positive motivation - cause the negative motivation is self destructive. 

In that case you gotta do your work more consciously, balancing it out with self-love, authenticity, and time for rest and contemplation.

Working like a robot is not enough. You must work CONSCIOUSLY. Stage Blue falls into the trap of being disciplined in an unconscious and mechanical way without pausing for deep self-reflection. Blue tends to work hard but not wise.

Sounds like you're falling into the trap of being a robot and not doing the kind of work that your heart calls you to do.

Make a distinction between mechanical work for the purpose of survival and material gain vs conscious work for a higher life purpose. When you start to follow your heart and LP, you might find that your work output decreases as you slow down and dive deep into exploring yourself. When you do this you're building up your root system that will enable much deeper work in the future but at the cost of less output in the short-term.

Balancing all this out is tricky. It's easy to fool yourself and fall into on extreme or another.

[SamC]

36 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

 

In that case you gotta do your work more consciously, balancing it out with self-love, authenticity, and time for rest and contemplation.

Working like a robot is not enough. You must work CONSCIOUSLY. Stage Blue falls into the trap of being disciplined in an unconscious and mechanical way without pausing for deep self-reflection. Blue tends to work hard but not wise.

Sounds like you're falling into the trap of being a robot and not doing the kind of work that your heart calls you to do.

Make a distinction between mechanical work for the purpose of survival and material gain vs conscious work for a higher life purpose. When you start to follow your heart and LP, you might find that your work output decreases as you slow down and dive deep into exploring yourself. When you do this you're building up your root system that will enable much deeper work in the future but at the cost of less output in the short-term.

Balancing all this out is tricky. It's easy to fool yourself and fall into on extreme or another.

its so true @Leo Gura

This is exactly what I'm figuring out currently but it's hard though cause I don't know how hard I should push it. I'm doing meaningful work and that's thanks to the LP course , I even sended you a great testimony *** I have the best words

Right now for example, I want to do some kriya yoga followd by self compassion before I go to bed. It's late, but I know it will befinift me. At the same time I of corse am aware that I am kind of driven by fear, which means that what may be the right answer is to not push. Than Again maybe the right answer is to push. Sometimes you should push and sometimes not.

so then.. is it really wise to continue pushing If I'm driven by fear? Isn't that repeating the same fear pattern? Shouldn't I just let myself a brake and not be so neurotic about me having to do this? At the same time if I'm scared I'll repeat the fear pattern ain't I then by default repeating the fear pattern? soo, what's the paradox? What's the nuance I'm missing?

Edited December 28, 2020 by SamC

[Leo Gura]

50 minutes ago, SamC said:

so then.. is it really wise to continue pushing If I'm driven by fear? Isn't that repeating the same fear pattern? Shouldn't I just let myself a brake and not be so neurotic about me having to do this? At the same time if I'm scared I'll repeat the fear pattern ain't I then by default repeating the fear pattern? soo, what's the paradox? What's the nuance I'm missing?

Yes, I know it is difficult.

But what would you do if you were acting from consciousness, love, and no fear?

Personally I've invested several years just letting go and pushing less. It cost me a lot of productivity and money, but that's the cost of learning new ways of living life.

Pushing constantly, mechanically, might have gotten you here. But what got you here will not get you to the ultimate stage. You must learn to do things in new, more holistic ways. Neurotic habits must be surrendered. This is "the work".

You cannot just go through life like a mule. Stage Blue tends to be mule-like and there is a price to pay for that.

Life requires requisite variety. See my blog video about requisite variety.