I'm starting to like a girl. She's my co-worker!

[The Don]

Hello.

I'm starting to like a co-worker.

I wonder about her all the time and I'm subtly observing most of her moves. I can't stare at her all the time; that would make me a stalker and it would definitely freak her out.

From studying and observing human behavior, I've learned that it's better to play "the observation game" in the most subtle manner.

I've been noticing that women are playing "the observation game" as well. In general, women are better observers than men and more subtle when they examine somebody.

Returning to the subject, I've been considering approaching this girl to talk to her in my own unique way. I want to be myself without hesitation.

I wanna talk to her about my hobbies and about the fact that I like to read books, to study psychology and human behavior.

The only thing that keeps me away from her is a negative mindset: I don't want to bore her with my subjects.

What can I do in my situation? Should I speak whatever comes to mind? I would love that but I don't want to bore her.

What can I talk about with a girl? From your experience, what kind of subjects don't bore women?

Thanks.

[kamill]

I dont want to disappoint you but you probably already lose. You think about it too much a thats what gonna kill the vibe.

I just always try to feel my body especially my legs (idk why) and i go to approach.... best is to be present a then it doesnt matter what you say 

requires practise.

Good luck tho  

[xxxx]

30 minutes ago, The Don said:

I wanna talk to her about my hobbies

First, talk to her about her hobbies. 

 

Edited December 25, 2020 by xxxx

[The Don]

6 minutes ago, xxxx said:

First, talk to her about her hobbies. 

She likes to travel.

18 minutes ago, kamill said:

I dont want to disappoint you but you probably already lose. You think about it too much a thats what gonna kill the vibe.

That's true. I will be present and tell whatever comes to mind without planning it or trying to force my way through a conversation.

That is what you mean, right?

[xxxx]

2 minutes ago, The Don said:

She likes to travel.

If this is her area of interest, there’s so much you can talk about, while incorporating your areas of interest. Talk about places you’ve been to, the culture, food, places you wish to visit - there’s so much to discuss about human behaviour, psychology here - a good intersection. 

Let it be natural. Don’t force it. Don’t try to be someone you are not - just try to establish a good rapport by getting to know her- because you wish to take the initiative, first.  

 

 

 

 

 

[Chew211]

Don't overthink it. Ask her out on a date soon, and see if things work out. 

The longer you drag things out the more time you'll spend just thinking 

[The Don]

1 hour ago, xxxx said:

Let it be natural. Don’t force it. Don’t try to be someone you are not - just try to establish a good rapport by getting to know her- because you wish to take the initiative, first.  

Wow! This advice gives me hope and motivates me to be myself. I'm working hard on this aspect; I wanna be myself around people without hesitation.

I don't like being someone else or acting just to please others. I noticed that acting puts a lot of pressure on you and it doesn't do you any good, especially when it comes to your mental health.

The truth is going to set me free.

Thanks for the advice.

1 hour ago, Chew211 said:

Don't overthink it. Ask her out on a date soon, and see if things work out. 

Yes. I'll be 100% natural, without thinking in advance what I'm about to say. I'll say whatever comes to mind and be OK with it.

I won't judge myself and I won't overthink everything.

I will be practicing my social skills by approaching more women, just for the sake of talking to them for the purpose of getting better in the social world.

Edited December 25, 2020 by The Don
To add the word 'will' to the last sentence. ^^

[SamC]

And show intent. That you are there to fuck here - not to be her friend. This is according to my research one of the most important thing.

[The Don]

1 hour ago, SamC said:

This is according to my research one of the most important thing.

You mean sexually? Are women really that interested in sex?

[PurpleTree]

12 minutes ago, The Don said:

You mean sexually? Are women really that interested in sex?

if you don't show intent you'll end up in the no go zone named friend zone, then she'll tell you about her lover while you hold her hand and nod while you say "yasss friend"

Edited December 25, 2020 by PurpleTree

[meow_meow]

19 minutes ago, The Don said:

You mean sexually? Are women really that interested in sex?

Yes

And as mentioned above, don't beat around the bush talking about hobbies all the time. Without showing intention you'll just land in the friend zone, and she'll land on some other dude. Also look for choosing signals, watch her body language.

Edit: BTW while we're at it - I've breeded with 2 coworkers (female) in my ex work place, the stupidest thing I did was keep them in my 'fuck-buddy' rotation and eventually they found out about each other, and well there was drama in workplace and management got involded - long story short I don't recommend dating coworkers unless your sure that it won't affect you and your work.

Edited December 25, 2020 by meow_meow

[The Don]

17 minutes ago, meow_meow said:

And as mentioned above, don't beat around the bush talking about hobbies all the time. Without showing intention you'll just land in the friend zone, and she'll land on some other dude. Also look for choosing signals, watch her body language.

Okay. But how do I show intention? Should I touch her? Benter?

Give me a few examples, please.

[SamC]

Just now, The Don said:

Okay. But how do I show intention? Should I touch her? Benter?

Give me a few examples, please.

 

We got you bro

[SamC]

32 minutes ago, The Don said:

You mean sexually? Are women really that interested in sex?

Woman love sex. I know I still don't belive it but it's true?. 

[meow_meow]

7 minutes ago, The Don said:

Okay. But how do I show intention? Should I touch her? Benter?

Give me a few examples, please.

 

 

Edited December 25, 2020 by meow_meow

[Arcangelo]

^That video made me Cringe.

 

[Javfly33]

On 25/12/2020 at 10:11 AM, The Don said:

Hello.

I'm starting to like a co-worker.

I wonder about her all the time and I'm subtly observing most of her moves.

 

Forget it already. That´s a way too needy attitude. She has already seen that from miles away.

Your better off going to the next girl. 

Also, dating co-workers is a terrible idea.

[Arcangelo]

I was going to say it but I didn't want to be a downer:

                                                                                Don't shit where you eat