Mindfulness Newbie Seeks Needed Advice

[AmandaA]

Hello everyone,

So I very recently began practicing meditation and becoming more mindful. I can begin to see some small changes in my daily lifestyle, which I am very happy about. One reason I wanted to start adopting these practices in my life is because I react emotionally to situations in life instead of respond, and it really sets me back. I have practicing steps like repeating emotions in my head, recognizing to them, taking steps to respond, and so forth. One time I received harsh criticism from a friend, and before I would begin to get emotional very quickly. However, I was able to recognize I was I was upset, respond to the situation and everything moved on.

Yet, after using these techniques for a couple of days, I find myself triggered by such small situations and sometimes I feel like I could burst out in emotion, or begin to just cry, over something so small. It feels awful, like all of a sudden Pandora's box is opened and I am flooded with emotion. I know I must be doing something wrong- how could I be mindful of my emotions for a couple of days, and then all of a sudden just burst?

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to what might be going on, any guidance, or suggestions as to how I can make these overwhelming waves of emotion subside?

[Kyle007]

 Your awareness is increasing. It can feel very discomforting when you start to become aware of the negativity that was built up due to being unconsciously lost in your mind, It's sort of like when you shine a flashlight in a dark room you will see things that you couldn't see before. This phase is only temporary. Your not doing anything wrong just allow yourself to feel these emotions without trying to get rid of them and they will dissolve eventually.

[FindingPeace]

14 hours ago, AmandaA said:

Yet, after using these techniques for a couple of days, I find myself triggered by such small situations

This work takes time - years. You're only just beginning. The problem is when you start to expect results. Then you become frustrated when you don't get them. There is no time scale to this work. You have to be patient and be accepting of the process, including the parts where nothing seems to be changing or working. Just being aware of these moments is valuable in itself.

You're doing good here. Just keep at it. Abandon the expectation that it will all just fall in to place at some point. You don't know when that point will be. But it will come with time, practive and awareness. Accept the frustrations and learn from those experiences.

An important part of mindfulness is just observing your thoughts and actions. Without judging them. So when you have occasions when you are still triggered, observe it, watch it, notice it. Don't judge or criticise it. Just allow it to be and perhaps analyse it in retrospect. You can still learn from these moments.

 

[kurt]

@AmandaA

Have compassion for the other person and yourself.

Understanding and acceptance goes a long way.

When you understand, accept and have compassionon for yourself and others who irritate or offend it frees you. 

At the moment you are facing the pain of all those injustices. Before you just acted on them by being reactive. But now you're doing mindfulness all the pain you ignored is being presented to you for processing. 

Process the pain. Have compassion for yourself and give yourself the gift of love and acceptance. 

Everything will be ok in the end, it's not forever, it's temporary. Imagine you had neglected the basement for years, just chucked things in there willy-nilly without consideration or maintenance. Then one day you decide to clean it up. It's going to feel overwhelming at first because of all the disorganised stuff in there. But a little bit of love and patience and effort and the basement begins to look clean again. Even a haven?? Perhaps soon when the garbage is clear you might consider decorating and maintaining it? Put in a sofa and a sound system to make it a super comfortable place to hang out?  

It's the same with your mind. Treat it well and it will come good. !

[30secs]

On 9/26/2016 at 8:46 AM, AmandaA said:

how could I be mindful of my emotions for a couple of days, and then all of a sudden just burst?

well your already mindful, do you? mindfulness is not about stopping emotions but by watching it carefully, so when it starts to grow let it go! just remind your self that this emotions remains as emotions no meaning whatsoever, be a conductor to all types of emotions. It is a habit of letting it spread.

[Fantastic_Times]

It takes times...a long time to master meditation. Don't feel so rushed to feel mindful. Your emotions won't go away, neither will your thoughts. What you have to learn is how to watch them and separate them from your being and your life. "What you resist, persists" is a good quote here. If you're able to watch your emotions and thoughts, you're doing a good job for starters. Lastly, sometimes with meditation things get worse before they get better. Be patient, breathe, relax, and observe. Be present. This has been my experience so far. I wish you all the best with your meditation practice. 

Peace, 

FT