How to get a girl you really want

[aerox1988]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You can't get any particular girl. Change your strategy to getting girls in general, not one specific girl.

If she's difficult, go talk to 10 other girls and the problem will solve itself.

HI Leo!

 

Really appreciate your help. I will do this and focus on other girls meanwhile and educate myself in this topic. Question - I really want her and we connect on phone so there is a cemestry. The problem (I think) is that I have been to pushy regarding to her and when we was gonna meet I sounded a bit stressed a desperate to book this which she then said "You make me feel so stressed" so I changed subjet and said haha ok but I need to know so I can plan my days but no worries lets decide next week. And this week she avoided the question. So my strategy no (Since I have accepted that this can fail but still really want to give it a try) is to back down a bit to not be so needy and chill and just talk with her and have fund for a few days to build connection again and when I feel that the mood is good again approach this question again about when we should meet. What do you say?

[Michael569]

On 21/12/2020 at 2:53 PM, aerox1988 said:

mindgames

Forget mind games. Manipulation always backfires in the end. Either be at least partially honest or forget dating at all

[Leo Gura]

20 hours ago, aerox1988 said:

HI Leo!

 

Really appreciate your help. I will do this and focus on other girls meanwhile and educate myself in this topic. Question - I really want her and we connect on phone so there is a cemestry. The problem (I think) is that I have been to pushy regarding to her and when we was gonna meet I sounded a bit stressed a desperate to book this which she then said "You make me feel so stressed" so I changed subjet and said haha ok but I need to know so I can plan my days but no worries lets decide next week. And this week she avoided the question. So my strategy no (Since I have accepted that this can fail but still really want to give it a try) is to back down a bit to not be so needy and chill and just talk with her and have fund for a few days to build connection again and when I feel that the mood is good again approach this question again about when we should meet. What do you say?

You are needy so she will not sleep with you.

You've already lost her. Move on to other girls.

[PurpleTree]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You are needy so she will not sleep with you.

You've already lost her. Move on to other girls.

Can you want her without being needy? Is wanting from the ego?

Can wanting not be needy, for example if it doesn't come from a place of scarcity?

How could you even approach without wanting her? 

Or are you just tricking yourself and her, or acting as if you don't care, but deep down you do care?

Staying in the moment, approaching just to approach "freedom from outcome" 

Loving yourself so much that you just want to spread that love to her and others

All those things are easily said but that's difficult.  

[Mannyb]

1 hour ago, PurpleTree said:

Can you want her without being needy? Is wanting from the ego?

Can wanting not be needy, for example if it doesn't come from a place of scarcity?

How could you even approach without wanting her? 

Or are you just tricking yourself and her, or acting as if you don't care, but deep down you do care?

Staying in the moment, approaching just to approach "freedom from outcome" 

Loving yourself so much that you just want to spread that love to her and others

All those things are easily said but that's difficult.  

If you want her in order for you to feel love, it is needy, and it is ego.

If you want to share the love you already feel, you give, and it’s God.

Best approach without wanting someone, just want to share your love with someone. ( travel bum productions is a great non dual Pua).

As long as you’re tricking, you’re playing devil ? games, it’s not ❤️.

Last 2 sentences you’re correct, it’ll take a lot of inner game tho ??.

Once you’re in a place of abundance? it will not feel difficult at all.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@PurpleTree Ill give you analogy...let say you are thirsty for drink and you havent drink for long time you are desperate needy to drink it when you see drink you start salivating grabbing spilling that drink looking weak lets say..and now picture that you are a little bit thirsty and you act normal take sips it makes you feel good nothing spectacular but you want to drink it its the same thing with women ? in both cases you want one thing but act completely opposite

[PepperBlossoms]

On 12/22/2020 at 6:02 AM, aerox1988 said:

The problem (I think) is that I have been to pushy regarding to her and when we was gonna meet I sounded a bit stressed a desperate to book this which she then said "You make me feel so stressed" so I changed subjet and said haha ok but I need to know so I can plan my days but no worries lets decide next week. And this week she avoided the question.

@aerox1988  This sounds so painful.  I am so sorry you are in that situation.  It is better when the other person reciprocates the effort and interest.  RIP.

There is no too pushy when the other person is interested.  

On the next open weekend/day that you can go visit her, ask her if y'all can hangout.  If she says no and does not suggest another day that would work, drop her and start talking to someone else - even if that means using social dating apps - gotta do something to change your focus away from her - (don't have to but may feel intense pain/attachment).

[Gesundheit]

2 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

Can you want her without being needy? Is wanting from the ego?

Can wanting not be needy, for example if it doesn't come from a place of scarcity?

How could you even approach without wanting her? 

Or are you just tricking yourself and her, or acting as if you don't care, but deep down you do care?

Staying in the moment, approaching just to approach "freedom from outcome" 

Loving yourself so much that you just want to spread that love to her and others

All those things are easily said but that's difficult.  

Of course you'd have to want her in order to approach. If there's no desire, there's no approach.

BUT, the difference between needy approach and non-needy approach is degree. A needy approach is stressful for the girl. It just turns her off, because it places a huge importance/pressure on her when in fact she wants to be treated fairly like a normal human being. You want to aim at a certain degree of desire, where you desire the girl enough to feel engaged, but not so much that you'd come off as desperate. Think of it this way; You have your life going; with a life purpose in place, a decent job, a good social circle, good residence, etc... You have all that, and you're looking for someone to share all of that with out of love and generosity, and desire for expansion and experience. So the girl should take like 10% of the overall picture, not 90%. That's the lesson most guys have to learn the hard way (I'm no exception). The girl doesn't want you to think of her as 90% of your life. Just 10% is okay, and then with time she earns more importance in your life because you're happy with her.

Edited December 23, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Mannyb]

17 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Of course you'd have to want her in order to approach. If there's no desire, there's no approach.

BUT, the difference between needy approach and non-needy approach is degree. A needy approach is stressful for the girl. It just turns her off, because it places a huge importance/pressure on her when in fact she wants to be treated fairly like a normal human being. You want to aim at a certain degree of desire, where you desire the girl enough to feel engaged, but not so much that you'd come off as desperate. Think of it this way; You have your life going; with a life purpose in place, a decent job, a good social circle, good residence, etc... You have all that, and you're looking for someone to share all of that with out of love and generosity, and desire for expansion and experience. So the girl should take like 10% of the overall picture, not 90%. That's the lesson most guys have to learn the hard way (I'm no exception). The girl doesn't want you to think of her as 90% of your life. Just 10% is okay, and then with time she earns more importance in your life because you're happy with her.

Yes it’s all about which type of desire, to share instead of getting love namaste?? 
@aerox1988 Life is amazing, invite her to join you on the adventure. If you truly feel good she’ll be turned on by that, only talk to her if you’re already feeling well. As long as you are obsessed with her forget about it, it’ll feel Hard before it feels Easy..  That’s why people use alcohol as a social tool. You’d fare better using a workout, cold shower, breathing session, meditate before engaging. Basically get into a peaceful state & then share your state with the girl, if she doesn’t like it then let her go. 

Edited December 23, 2020 by Mannyb

[Origins]

@aerox1988 mind games? Bro when that shit starts I’m outta here. Minimal time wasting should be your priority and right now you’re wasting hers. If you can’t be the person she wants by being yourself who the hell is she in a relationship with when she’s with you and she’s fallen for traits, things that aren’t even you? I’d dump your ass immediately as soon as I worked you out.

[Hardkill]

On 12/23/2020 at 0:47 AM, Leo Gura said:

You are needy so she will not sleep with you.

You've already lost her. Move on to other girls.

Well she may come around. After all, girls more easily change in their emotions like the wind compared to men. Otherwise, he can try her again after about a month from now.

[AnnaWhite37]

 

Girls love guys with a sense of humor