Living A Profound Life.

[Sagar Takker]

A life of purpose; adding value, serving, loving.

A focused life; no social media, no distractions, no addictions.

A life of gratitude; experiencing gratitude in everything, especially the 'unwanted, bad' stuff.

If something wanted happens, good.
If something unwanted happens, great!

A life of wisdom; studying and implementing the highest wisdom.

A life filled with fun; because fun is lovely.

Living a profound life.

[Sagar Takker]

I am working on what I would call my Life Purpose.

Most of my time is focused either on the work I am doing or on my practices and self-care.

 

Morning routine:

04:15 Wake up, drink a glass of water, do oil pulling, light stretching

05:00-06:00 Meditation/Shadow work practice

06:00-07:00 Workout + Pranayam practice

 

I work around 6-7 hours a day. I am creating videos and publishing them on youtube. For the videos, I am also writing transcripts which I post on my website.

I get up from work usually at 17:30.

 

Evening routine:

17:30 Dinner

18:00-19:00 Family time

19:00-20:00 Meditation/Shadow work practice

20:00-21:00 Study/read/learn

21:00-21:30 Go for a walk with parents.

21:35 Get on bed; meditate till sleepy.

 

I am doing Shadow Work as taught by Carolyn Elliott. I love her work. I joined her ongoing course INFLUENCE, which started yesterday.

 

Today, instead of meditation practice between 05:00 and 06:00, I recorded a video. Because it's quieter at that time; less background noise.

 

Now, I'll go and do some Shadow Work. Thanks to Shadow Work, I am enjoying the process very much.

[Sagar Takker]

It wasn't always this way.

These days, I experience so much 'flow.' I spend hours working. And I mostly enjoy every moment of it. There are moments I don't enjoy, which seem like a struggle, and they are super awesome. Because these are old programs, beliefs, stuck 'energies' that come up so that they can be released, transmuted.

Releasing and transmutation gets done. Really well. Thanks to Existential Kink practice and all the other teachings I am practicing (like Letting Go, Bentinho Massaro's stuff etc.)

Just a few weeks ago, I was confused, lost, anxious, worried. I didn't know clearly what I wanted to do. Even when I worked on something, it used to be so much struggle. Fear of failure and self-doubt would come up; sometimes with such force that I wouldn't be able to handle it and would retreat back to comfort zone.

Then I learnt to love the pain.

Let's see how things unfold.

[Sagar Takker]

It's just been a few weeks since I started working on the Life Purpose. The mind has a tendency to keep looking for results. Every now and then an urge arises to check if I got more views on the videos. I have been doing EFT on dealing with this urge. Instead of giving in to the urge, why not let it go?

Also, there is a recognition that a part of me (Shadow) loves the struggle, loves the obscurity and distraction and not having success. It loves all the drama and addiction. I have, for long, tried to fight it. And every time I fought, I lost. It's a part of me; it is me. Why fight myself? Why not choose to love it, with all my heart. That's Shadow Work in a nutshell.

I am inspired by the idea of shifting one's identity. Currently I have an identity of being someone who doesn't have success, who is struggling. My behaviour corresponds to this identity. My desired self is someone who is successful, living in abundance, aligned with his life purpose. That desired self would obviously not be checking every now and then if he got more views.

So I will do the work to shift into this identity. Let's see how that works.

[Sagar Takker]

It seems a bit frustrating to not see much success. But I know it's part of the process. It's a bit difficult to get the mind to understand to not monitor the process so much. But I think I am learning this lesson quite well as I go along. One day, this whole struggle and hard work will make a lot of sense.

[Sagar Takker]

I have spent the last 4-5 hours in deep focus; editing the video I am creating on the experience of keeping a commonplace book for 3 years. I skipped my evening meditation practice for this. And I am working way past my 'official day end' time.

Never mind. I am enjoying the process.

We had a small gathering at home today so couldn't work during the day. And this Monday, I'll be going to some place. So this 'overtime' is justified.

Edited December 27, 2020 by Sagar Takker

[platolol]

nice! keep up the good work. what's your youtube channel?

[Sagar Takker]

@platolol  It's called LiveProfound: http://bit.ly/liveprofound

[Sagar Takker]

All the hard work is so satisfying. Even if the outcome is not as desired, the act of creating is so fun. Feeling really great about what got created.

7-8 hours of work to create a 13 minute video.

But it's not just 7-8 hours; it's actually entire life till this moment.

 

[Sagar Takker]

The evolution of desire through Shadow Work.

Carolyn mentions in Existential Kink, that desires do not evolve through denial but through intense approval.

A few weeks ago, I became aware of an unconscious desire to depend on my parents. As I gave it intense approval, it seemed to have evolved. The next thing that came up was wanting obscurity (opposite of fame). As I gave this one intense approval, it seems to have evolved to wanting disapproval (and lack of approval) from the world.

For a long time, I often worried that people didn't really like me. I used to have stories in my mind that they were conspiring against me, talking behind my back. I distinctly remember having these thoughts and stories when I was a teenager.

Over time, the whole tendency kept on evolving on its own, as I became more and more accepting and loving.

Now, it seems to have come up for its final release.

Let's see how this unfolds.

[Sagar Takker]

I didn't have a very productive day after such a long time.

I didn't do much focused work. Slept after lunch for around 1.5 hours.

It's alright, I love myself. I'll work for an hour or two before I sleep; I'll finish a task that I had planned for today.

[Sagar Takker]

I was de-cluttering my laptop. A lot of space is being used by the videos and their project files etc. I stumbled upon a clip; it was a fast forwarded version of a 40 minute meditation session that I did on my terrace. I remember how cold it was and I still sat there, as still as I could. My plan was to show myself sitting in meditation as the sun was setting. A fast forwarded version would have looked amazing.

So to materialise my idea, I did try thrice to record. But each recording didn't really work in the end. None of them was close to what I had imagined in my mind. In the end, I used none of them.

The point I want to note is that I spent some 2-3 hours, subjecting myself to cold weather, sitting still and letting my knees hurt so that I could record a video and in the end it didn't really work out.

That's the journey. You do a lot of things, but the world gets to see only some of them. It is important to keep a record of these things; so that you can remember where you are coming from.

I myself had forgotten about it. Now that I remembered, I thought I would just note it down.

One day, I would read this and have tears in my eyes.

[Sagar Takker]

I just quickly read through a small ebook I had written back in 2014. I am so amazed to see that I completely agree with all that I had written. In fact, I am so surprised that I had written all the 'right' things back then, even though I didn't have much experience. After 6 years of working on the very same things, the skills I had written about, I have reached the same conclusions through experience.

It seems like I allowed Infinite Intelligence to work through me really well.

Edited December 30, 2020 by Sagar Takker

[Sagar Takker]

I had planned to do a one-on-one session with a friend to demonstrate how EFT is done. I was quite excited about it, looking forward to it. I spent some time in morning preparing for the session.
At 10:30, the scheduled time, I was ready, sitting in front of my laptop. I waited for a minute and then checked my phone to see if there was an update. She sent a message that she would get late by 10 minutes.
Now, she is someone who I believe is mostly late. It has been an experience, almost all the times I have set a meeting with her. So this brought up some feelings. I worked on letting them go, did some shadow work too. Thoughts of chastising her appeared and I kept letting go whatever arose. Around 10 minutes later she joined. Only to tell me that we won't be able to do a session right now.
What is my highest priority in life? Imperturbability! So, even though this event is bringing up certain feelings and thoughts of righteousness, wanting to change, I do recognise that this is an opportunity. To let go, to do shadow work and integrate.
Things will not always go as intended. Aversions would come up. More important than 'my' goals, 'my' dreams, 'my' intentions, is His will.

May Thy Will Be Done.

[Sagar Takker]

Happy new year!

I didn't feel like working much today. It wasn't a very productive day.

I publish videos every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Today, I had to publish a video by 6 pm. I kept on delaying doing the work. Around 4 pm, I finally got myself to do the set up and record. I wasn't in the best state of mind, not very energetic and emotionally high to record a nice video. Anyway, I did record one. Edited it. The final video looks good.

The lesson here is to set clear deadlines. It really helps to have a deadline. Suddenly, everything falls in place when your ass is on fire.

[Sagar Takker]

In morning, I received a message from my friend asking if we could do our session today. I immediately agreed to it; I felt happy that she took the initiative. I thought of it as a positive synchronicity because in my mind, I had thoughts that she wasn't very willing to do the work.

I arranged things in a way that would let me do the session at the decided time. Before the scheduled time, I prepared, set up the system etc. I sat in front of my laptop, the camera was on, and I waited. She didn't turn up. For 15 minutes. That brought some feelings of being disrespected. I kept letting go to the best of my ability. After 20 minutes of waiting I decided to 'give up' and undid my setup.

After around 45 minutes of the decided time, she sent a mail asking if I was available. I was surrendered by then and had forgiven her. So I agreed and we ended up doing a session.

The session didn't go as great as I would have liked. In fact, I ended up feeling not good enough, not skilled enough. It brought up some doubts, 'Should I put it out? What if people think that I am not skilled enough and decide to stay away from my channel, my work? What if someone ends up watching this and ends up doing the 'wrong' thing.'

Thanks to all the years of meditation practice, I do not believe my thoughts much; I don't take them way too seriously.

In the evening Shadow Work practice session, these doubts came up again. I started doing EFT tapping on them. And it helped clear my mind.

Yes, maybe I am not very skilled yet, but I can improve. If the ball doesn't go in the basket in the first try, try again. And again. And again. When it comes to a skill, one has to practice a lot. And I am willing to practice a lot, with my whole being; heart and soul.

And the video. Maybe it's not that bad. I am judging it from my eyes, but from the perspective of someone new to inner work, it might help. Even if it helps one person just a little bit, that's good.

[Sagar Takker]

Today was Day 1 of Inner Engineering Completion. There was a session between 06:00 and 08:30. It went well.

During the session, I received an inspired idea to create a video about the program. It would be a trending topic and would get some views form my target audience. So I decided I would create a video sharing my experience.

As the session ended, I went online to do some research on what videos were already present. In the search results, I found a video whose title had 'Freedom From Fap' in it. Freedom From Fapping is a book on overcoming porn addiction that I published in December 2018.  So I wondered if the video was about my book.

I found out that the guy in the video talked about an upcoming program on overcoming porn addiction. This program was being organised by Sarvesh Shashi, someone I have great love and respect for. I wonder if Sarvesh is aware of the title of my book, has seen it or not.

Doesn't really matter. But it does give me some mixed feelings.

I don't really know the truth about why Sarvesh chose that title for his program. So I would wait and if the answer arrives, that would be good. And if it doesn't, doesn't really matter. I am happy.

I am happy because when I search for Nofap on amazon, my book is listed in the top. It's got some good reviews.

I wasn't aware that it was ranking good in search results or about the ratings it had got. Just got to know about all that today. And I feel good.

[Sagar Takker]

I need to slow down, be more relaxed and get more clarity on what's and how's. I have been doing a lot of busywork and getting distracted quite often.

I look a lot into screens these days and have been getting dark circles around my eyes. That's a sign I shouldn't ignore.

[Sagar Takker]

I created a video titled, 'See Everything As A Blessing.'
I was tired. I had been procrastinating on posting on Medium. I just pushed through the resistance and wrote a small post on medium and embedded the video at the bottom.
I wonder what kind of response will I receive.

We'll see.

[Sagar Takker]

I got 'initiated' into Shambhavi Mahamudra yesterday. It was a nice experience. Since I attended Inner Engineering Online, I have started respecting Sadhguru more.  Especially after watching his tears during some sessions endings; that melted my heart.

The channel has grown in terms of subscribers. It's on 99 as I write this. The first benchmark, 100 will soon be hit.