seeking_brilliance

☑️Daily Check In? - participation encouraged

42 posts in this topic

On 17/12/2020 at 6:09 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? 

Worked today. Came home and relaxed. 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

Drove home from work. 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

I don't know.. 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Distracting thoughts

5. What is now, compared to before? 

They are either the same or neither exist... Maybe... 

6. Who am I? 

Mu

5. Is this a dream?

Mumu 

-----------------------------

@Preety_India@( phone bug) 

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

Hard to tell because now Micheal is calling my name 

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 

5-6 

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? 

Probably not

 11. Am I aware of my body and mind and spirit? Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life? 

I dunno

 

Edited by seeking_brilliance

Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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6 hours ago, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? 

Not really. Walked to the mailbox with a flashlight to get some eggs my sister left for me. Watched Towelie’s best moments from South Park on YouTube.

 

6 hours ago, seeking_brilliance said:

 4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Thoughts about Towelie Thoughts about the enneagram

6 hours ago, seeking_brilliance said:

5. What is now, compared to before? 

About the same.

6 hours ago, seeking_brilliance said:

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

A little bit more

6 hours ago, seeking_brilliance said:

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go?

I could for brief instances by going into Centering prayer meditation but I’m too lazy right now. I feel good though.

 


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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14 minutes ago, BlackMaze said:

Checked in 2 days ago.

6. Am i attention? 

I advise answering the questions while in a more present state after the check in. 

6. I dunno, are you? Maybe try to find a wordless answer. One you sense, not say. Then assign a word for us all to enjoy. Just don't be tied to the word. That's my two cents. 

@Zigzag Idiot thanks to you and everyone else for participating! 

 

 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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On 17/12/2020 at 6:09 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important?  

Worked today and then had my mom over for dinner and chatting. 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

After she left I walked in here. 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

There may be a bit of evidence left in my teeth... 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Lots of intrusive thoughts, but I also snapped back and continued. 

5. What is now, compared to before? 

In a story of chronological time, it's later, (as in now.)  If one could forget about time, then... 'Now' is all I know. It's all I can qualify and touch. Even mere 'seconds' ago are but a memory. It's not that I can touch 'now'... I'm touching nothing really.  Or rather no touch at all. The touch is just as imagined as time itself.  But now isn't time. It's.... It's me. 

6. Who am I?

I am now

5. Is this a dream? 

You bet. 

-----------------------------

Bug ) @Preety_India

 

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

Yes

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 

8

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? 

Surely not everything. But I do feel focused and wanting to meditate. 

 

 

Edited by seeking_brilliance

Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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On 17/12/2020 at 6:09 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? 

Eating dinner. Leftover pot roast. 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

Walked into this room. 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

I'm doing it now, most likely. No really, as it's pulled up in memory I'm living it now. 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Got some words pop in. Was trying to feel an object like I feel the toes, and the word 'island' popped in, in a kind of childlike voice. And I thought about it and agreed that feeling for the object would be like feeling for an island.  And yes we're pretending there's really an object over there, mmkay

5. What is now, compared to before?

If there is no time,  but there's now, then now must be timeless. So then the question doesn't really make sense. 

6. Who am I? 

Seamlessness

5. Is this a dream? 

Most likely, though I am counting five fingers, whatever that may imply... 

-----------------------------

Further questions presented by @Preety_India

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

Not sure

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 

5-6

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? 

I don't think I could. But I do feel relaxed and peaceful. 

 11. Am I aware of my body and mind and spirit? Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life? 

Still questioning those supposed things... 

 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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On 17/12/2020 at 6:09 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? 

Cleaned out the junk room to make into painting room

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

Walked into room

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

Umm.. At the moment I can't see the room to see if it still looks different. But I have a feeling next time I see it, it will look as expected. 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Lots of intrusive thoughts, but at least they were about the check in

5. What is now, compared to before? 

More touchable 

6. Who am I? 

Now

5. Is this a dream? 

I don't know what isn't a dream

-----------------------------

Further questions presented by @Preety_India

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

Yes

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 

5-6 today, 6-7 now 

 

 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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Coming for a check in after some days lag. 

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? 

 

Was tending my garden and looking after the Christmas decorations 

 

 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

 

Walked

 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

 

Yea. 

 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

 

I had such dark thoughts about suicide. I wanted Christmas to be a happy one. So I'm going to start a daily prayer service. 

 

5. What is now, compared to before? 

 

Maybe and hopefully positive 

 

6. Who am I? 

 

A character in a play. 

 

5. Is this a dream? 

 

Maybe a nightmare 

 

-----------------------------

 

Further questions presented by @Preety_India

 

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

 

Sort of. I'm trying to increase my focus by doing the following daily checks and along with this awareness checks to feel alive and active during this winter. 

I need to do a regular temperature check on myself from today because I've been feeling sick. 

 

Next I want to do a Daily activity and Daily alertness test.. 

So these checks or tests 

 

  • Daily Awareness check
  • Daily Alertness check
  • Daily Temperature test 
  • Daily Emotional Test (since I feel suicidal almost every 3rd day of the week) 
  • Daily Activity check
  • Daily Productivity Test 

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 

 

At most 3. 

 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? 
Not really, depends,,,, Better not say.

 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 
By just being myself. Though I often catch myself doing things the hard way.

 

3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

Yes. I was definitely and completely there.

 

  4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in?

Some inner considering regarding a friend I took a walk with this morning.

 

5. What is now, compared to before? 
About the same. I’m getting sleepy though.

 

6. Who am I? 
I am a field of impressionability 

 

5. Is this a dream? 
No

 

8. Am I more focused now than before? 
About the same. I feel a little more balanced though.


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? - I was doing a brainstorm session in my notebook, a lot of planning stuff to be done before the new year

2. How did you get to where you are now? - i stumbled here 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread? - yes and no? o.O

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? - I've been feeling a bit scattered with the obligations and things I want to get done in the next two days. I decided to stop whatever I was doing and thinking for a moment 

5. What is now, compared to before? - slightly calmer..and suddenly tired (its 2 a.m!)

6. Who am I? - i am right now, and after that, movement and squiggly wigglyness

5. Is this a dream? - hm not sure

8. Am I more focused now than before? - yes a bit

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? - ranging from 4-9

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? - yeah right now I can. I can't always do that though

 11. Am I aware of my body and mind and spirit? Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life? - YES more than usual. I'm usually a 5/10 misalignment on average, so I feel more aligned than usual. Even if it's temporary

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On 17/12/2020 at 6:09 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? Working

2. How did you get to where you are now?  Drove home, bushed my dog a little outside, then walked into here. 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread? What if I'm never really doing anything, would it make this question obsolete? 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Seemed like less intrusive thoughts than before, and they were still about the exercise itself

5. What is now, compared to before? 

It's nothing, I think... I can't define it... 

 

6. Who am I? 

Who knows

5. Is this a dream? 

Who knows

-----------------------------

Further questions presented by @Preety_India

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

Yes, I think

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 

6-7

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? 

I think I could let go alot

 11. Am I aware of my body and mind and spirit? Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life?

I don't know what those things are 

 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? - I was cleaning the kitchen and listening to music. My mind was racing a bit, I was thinking about what I was going to do tomorrow. Then I wrote a bit in my journals on this forum

2. How did you get to where you are now? -  walked outta the rabbit shed, into the kitchen, into my room

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread? - yeah! I think so.

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? - like, all of my thoughts

5. What is now, compared to before? - a lot calmer, the slow breathing technique really worked

6. Who am I? - right now i feel like music and words, so idk

5. Is this a dream? - it feels like one

8. Am I more focused now than before? - yea

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? - 8. I feel very focused and clear headed on my daily walk/hike. I was focused, but at the same time, I hardly remember what I did today..? It's a blur. Sleep in, pet rabbits, draw, work, hike, cook, draw.

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? - mostly. tension comes back over and over again 

 11. Am I aware of my body and mind and spirit? Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life? - yeah more than usual. Although I was thinking today, what is spirit? what is soul?

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On 17/12/2020 at 6:09 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? 

Did some channelling earlier end then TRE. 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

where am I exactly? Lol, or otherwise, walking around the house. 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

Who knows

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Dog started doing the peepee dance in middle of check in. 

5. What is now, compared to before? 

Huh? 

6. Who am I? 

Really awesome actually 

5. Is this a dream? 

What isn't

-----------------------------

Further questions presented by @Preety_India

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

In a way

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 

4-5 at work, maybe 5 now

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? 

No I am standing here waiting for Charlie to pee

 

 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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On 17/12/2020 at 6:09 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? 

Came home from a long, but relatively good day at work.  A friend's book arrived today I looked it over real quick. 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

Walked into room

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

I'm doing it now, recalling it.. 

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Micheal is blaring music. He has a bad day  yesterday and reenergizing, I suppose. 

5. What is now, compared to before? 

Love

6. Who am I? 

Does not compute

5. Is this a dream? 

It's here. 

-----------------------------

Further questions presented by @Preety_India

8. Am I more focused now than before? 

Maybe not but some barriers seem relaxed 

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now?

4-6 

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? 

Not with the blaring music 

 11. Am I aware of my body and mind and spirit? Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life? 

Surely

 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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On 17/12/2020 at 6:09 PM, seeking_brilliance said:

1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important?  

Working. 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

Drove home

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

I'm here now, that's all I really know

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 

Lots of thoughts. Weird day at work. 

5. What is now, compared to before? 

The only thing I know

6. Who am I? 

Here now

5. Is this a dream?

 I count five fingers. 

-----------------------------

Further questions presented by @Preety_India

8. Am I more focused now than before?

 No

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 

5-6 today, 3-4 now

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? 

Somewhat 

 11. Am I aware of my body and mind and spirit? Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life? 

I'm mental 

 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important?  
Eating breakfast and talking with a friend who dropped by right after I woke up.

 

2. How did you get to where you are now? 

I haven’t been anywhere. Just walked to the kitchen and back to the bedroom.

 

    3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread?

Yes. What is stated above.

    4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? 
The opinion the I should be sensing the body rather than feeling.   (My mr. know it all self,,,,,) Also thoughts about my friend and his drunk girlfriend who stopped in unannounced.

 

5. What is now, compared to before? 
As it stands, two elements conceptually created within the timeless but done so on the relative plane in time.

6. Who am I? 
All and everything and nothing as well as a bipetal, gaseous vertebrate.

5. Is this a dream? 
Possibly when put in a frame of reference beyond the scope that I’m aware of.

-----------------------------

Further questions presented by @Preety_India

8. Am I more focused now than before? 
Definitely

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? 
6,,,,,?

10. Can I let go everything in this moment? How does it feel when I let go? 
At this moment it would be a possibility but actuality in all honesty, no.

 11. Am I aware of my body and mind and spirit? Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life? 
Yes, somewhat, but not in an optimal way. 
 

Are they all aligned to my inner sense of purpose and direction in life? 
Only marginally, at the moment.


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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@Zigzag Idiot do you suggest any reading on the difference of feeling versus sensing? I think I've been confusing this since forever. It's possible I meant sensing, but not realizing the difference I used the words of feeling in the check in


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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@seeking_brilliance I can’t think of anything right off. It’s something I’ve picked up in bits and pieces over the last few years. I’ll see if anything comes to mind in the next day or so. 
I do have a practice concerning this written down somewhere. It’s quite intense.  I’ll see if I can find it.

Doing a bing search a few minutes ago I found this article. I haven’t read all of it but it looks pretty decent.  https://www.jgbennett.org/distinction-sensing-feeling/

 

 

 


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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