I do not have any intentions to date someone

[Yoshy]

Im 20 years old , im a virgin . And yes I am not clinging to anybody else or even looking for it . 

why ? I dont know . 

When reading that you must be thinking that im some sort of incel/redpill/mgtow/frustrated ect .... 

Im none of that . It doesnt come from a place of lack and I have no resentment  . 

I love myself , im happy with myself , why the hell would i want to download tinder and spend 20 minutes a day swapping trough profiles  .

And go trough all the bullshit of small talk , dating , flirting , trying to look "fuckable" , trying to appear as a "man" is expected to be ect ....

An immense waste of energy and time for 45 minutes of hugging and shooting a nut at the end . Why do I think like that ? Because there is no way a woman my age ( 20 yo ) is on the same path as me and I know that anything else wont be a match on the long term . 

I tried it once , to fit in ,  because everybody had tinder . Had about 70 matchs , as a guy , fucked no one . 

I just dont see the value of having someone else by my side honestly , especially when most people drag you down .. 

The moment you try to play a character to get in a relationship , you messed up . You try to appear as the person this girl wants , wich is not you . This is deeply emasculating . Im not going to play games , I will let life unfold organicly and if I die alone and then I lived a happy lonely life . 

[Preety_India]

I appreciate your outlook. You just want to be yourself and not give into peer pressure. 

More men need to be like you. 

Not every person on planet earth needs to date. It's a dating obsessed culture that places a humongous amount of importance socially on how many people a person dates or even dates at all. It is not healthy. It's an illusion of competition created by society 

Why is it necessary that every person dates. It's a social game of chimpery and superiority and show off. Men love to boast how they banged so and so girl and so many girls. This is a problematic outlook, it really makes men objectify themselves and creates unnecessary pressures. 

Also a lot of men stop being authentic because of such social dating games and end up losing their real paths in life. 

I encourage you pursue your unique opinion and go in that direction and not fall for social chimpery. 

 

[flowboy]

Happy fapping!

[electroBeam]

At your age i got into a relationship out of social pressure. I had 0 sex drive and 0 drive for relationships. I just felt like an alien and so i got into one just to cover up self esteem problems. And at that stage i was basically your post. As someone whose been where you were, let me add some comments. These comments are honest. Which means they will grow you, but you wont like them. 

9 minutes ago, Yoshy said:

I love myself , im happy with myself , why the hell would i want to download tinder and spend 20 minutes a day swapping trough profiles  .

 

in covid just don't

11 minutes ago, Yoshy said:

And go trough all the bullshit of small talk , dating , flirting , trying to look "fuckable" , trying to appear as a "man" is expected to be ect ....

 

Your problem here is you're allergic to manipulation because you've got a royal idea of yourself in your head about being the honest, real one. 

Well you're playing games with yourself, harder then most - sorry.

Meditation and yoga are just as manipulating as looking fuckable. You're manipulating reality to get to altered states of consciousness. Your entire life is just manipulation. The entire spiritual path is manipulation.

Having an issue with manipulation with sex and relationships, yet being totally fine with manipulation in spirituality, is just spiritual ego. Its double standards.

15 minutes ago, Yoshy said:

An immense waste of energy and time for 45 minutes of hugging and shooting a nut at the end . Why do I think like that ? Because there is no way a woman my age ( 20 yo ) is on the same path as me and I know that anything else wont be a match on the long term . 

Dont limit your views of relationships to just fucking. Relationships also includes exploring your emotional traumas and shadow work, exploring and mastering emotional intelligence, exploring how humans work, exploring how your energy system works - I.e. spiritual work.

17 minutes ago, Yoshy said:

I just dont see the value of having someone else by my side honestly , especially when most people drag you down .. 

 

You buy your bread or rice from people, you work with people, you buy airline and plane tickets from people, you're friends with people, you learn spirituality off people, you're surrounded by social interactions and people. If you have a fear of people dragging you down, you better watch areas well beyond your dating life.

[nistake]

Yup, I'm pretty much in the same boat.

Never had a girlfriend, but I'm fine with that. Not because of lack of trying though. Asked a few girls out, went on dates, but no success so far. I learned from my mistakes, then I moved on. No big deal.

To be honest, I never understood the obsession with girls and dating. I always felt like some sort of outsider, because all of my friends started chasing girls around 15-16 and I was there, being single and just doing my own thing. Nowadays it's pretty much the same thing, but they took it to the next level. Getting married, having kids, etc. And here I am, still single and I really don't mind. I'm happy to be my own boss, working on myself, taking spirituality seriously, working on my future career and things like that.

Bottom line: If I find a girlfriend, fine, if I don't, also fine.

[Bando]

At least have a few sexual encounters with women before making this decision. You've never been with anybody so how do you know you dont need anyone? Your creating a limiting belief which can easily turn into redpill or incel ideology, (not saying it will but its easily to fall into one of these paths if based on your story)

I don't want to pressure you you or anything, but I would encourage you to start taking dating serious, (at least 5-7 partners over the next 2 years which should be easy enough) and then make your decision. 14-24 is where most of your socialization skills develop. Its hard for the average person to honestly get better past this age at dating as your faced with more responsibilities in life and can't delegate as much time and energy into dating.

Wait until this whole Covid situation is done and then start hitting the streets! In the mean time write down any limiting beliefs that you believe is preventing you from attracting women to you and genuinely contemplate on them.

[Preety_India]

11 minutes ago, nistake said:

To be honest, I never understood the obsession with girls and dating

Me neither. Men make a big deal out of it and make it a way of bragging or putting each other down. 

It's toxic. Dating should come from a genuine place rather than an ego boasting place. 

 

[Yoshy]

@Preety_India

I completly agree and resonate with your comment , thank you . 

[Yoshy]

@flowboy

24 minutes ago, flowboy said:

Happy fapping!

 conscious masturbation is on another level

[PurpleTree]

maybe you're right, that this is the best, most joyful path for you

but also maybe you're mostly just afraid

[Yoshy]

16 minutes ago, Bando said:

At least have a few sexual encounters with women before making this decision. You've never been with anybody so how do you know you dont need anyone? Your creating a limiting belief which can easily turn into redpill or incel ideology, (not saying it will but its easily to fall into one of these paths if based on your story)

I don't want to pressure you you or anything, but I would encourage you to start taking dating serious, (at least 5-7 partners over the next 2 years which should be easy enough) and then make your decision. 14-24 is where most of your socialization skills develop. Its hard for the average person to honestly get better past this age at dating as your faced with more responsibilities in life and can't delegate as much time and energy into dating.

Wait until this whole Covid situation is done and then start hitting the streets! In the mean time write down any limiting beliefs that you believe is preventing you from attracting women to you and genuinely contemplate on them.

To be honest , I lied a bit . 

I have been in intimate scenarios before , but because I never have a condomn on there is no penetration . 

I might try for the sake of experience but Im a bit obsessed  with self improvement now . 

[Danioover9000]

@Yoshy

46 minutes ago, Yoshy said:

Im 20 years old , im a virgin . And yes I am not clinging to anybody else or even looking for it . 

why ? I dont know . 

When reading that you must be thinking that im some sort of incel/redpill/mgtow/frustrated ect .... 

Im none of that . It doesnt come from a place of lack and I have no resentment  . 

I love myself , im happy with myself , why the hell would i want to download tinder and spend 20 minutes a day swapping trough profiles  .

And go trough all the bullshit of small talk , dating , flirting , trying to look "fuckable" , trying to appear as a "man" is expected to be ect ....

An immense waste of energy and time for 45 minutes of hugging and shooting a nut at the end . Why do I think like that ? Because there is no way a woman my age ( 20 yo ) is on the same path as me and I know that anything else wont be a match on the long term . 

I tried it once , to fit in ,  because everybody had tinder . Had about 70 matchs , as a guy , fucked no one . 

I just dont see the value of having someone else by my side honestly , especially when most people drag you down .. 

The moment you try to play a character to get in a relationship , you messed up . You try to appear as the person this girl wants , wich is not you . This is deeply emasculating . Im not going to play games , I will let life unfold organicly and if I die alone and then I lived a happy lonely life . 

   I can only assume your post is truthful, because it's much easier to lie than be honest. Having been practicing and experienced being social and dating, it's great because it develops assertiveness, authenticity, empathy, open-mindedness and communication abilities. Part of dating and being social is that parts of you personality is reflected in the person in the interaction.

   If you have other priorities, then it's fine to pursue them, but don't neglect dating or being social for too long. Currently on Nofap, so I'm not into dating at the moment. 

[Yoshy]

34 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

At your age i got into a relationship out of social pressure. I had 0 sex drive and 0 drive for relationships. I just felt like an alien and so i got into one just to cover up self esteem problems. And at that stage i was basically your post. As someone whose been where you were, let me add some comments. These comments are honest. Which means they will grow you, but you wont like them. 

in covid just don't

Your problem here is you're allergic to manipulation because you've got a royal idea of yourself in your head about being the honest, real one. 

Well you're playing games with yourself, harder then most - sorry.

Meditation and yoga are just as manipulating as looking fuckable. You're manipulating reality to get to altered states of consciousness. Your entire life is just manipulation. The entire spiritual path is manipulation.

Having an issue with manipulation with sex and relationships, yet being totally fine with manipulation in spirituality, is just spiritual ego. Its double standards.

Dont limit your views of relationships to just fucking. Relationships also includes exploring your emotional traumas and shadow work, exploring and mastering emotional intelligence, exploring how humans work, exploring how your energy system works - I.e. spiritual work.

You buy your bread or rice from people, you work with people, you buy airline and plane tickets from people, you're friends with people, you learn spirituality off people, you're surrounded by social interactions and people. If you have a fear of people dragging you down, you better watch areas well beyond your dating life.

Ah ... to be  hairless monkeys in a monkey society . 

I am not a zen devil because I distance my self from this giant circus . All sage firgures / role models went trough phases of isolation in their lives , It is valuable . 

[Yoshy]

@electroBeam

You may be right to some extent and I might have developed a shadow . And if I had no egoic problems i would be an enlightened being , and that is not the case yet . But I wont go into some self guilt and self hate because I have disdain for interactions .

I disagree on a massive point tho , spirituality is LETTING GO of manipulations . Manipulations are for survival .

Edited December 17, 2020 by Yoshy

[electroBeam]

6 minutes ago, Yoshy said:

 

I disagree on a massive point tho , spirituality is LETTING GO of manipulations . Manipulations are for survival .

Hehehehehehehehe...

Yeah you disagree massively for a reason. You'll wise up eventually. Dont say I didnt warn ya.

 

[Preety_India]

@electroBeam

I disagree with you. If anything I see spirituality an outlet for freedom for the soul from the boundaries of the world, as a safe refuge for the soul. 

Maybe you look at spirituality as an escapism from life, that's why you think it's manipulation. 

But I'd say that's not true. Spirituality is a way of entering a new dimension, a more healing relaxing loving space that is more in tune with the spiritual needs of the soul than material needs of the body. 

 

[electroBeam]

@Preety_India You're God, not a mere human. You really think you need spirituality to be more of yourself?

What games ya playing?

[Preety_India]

@electroBeam God needs spirituality more than anyone. 

 

[electroBeam]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@electroBeam God needs spirituality more than anyone. 

 

All games

[aurum]

@Yoshy

After reading everything you've written, I think you'd be wise to at least challenge this belief system you've created.

Your perspective on relationships and dating in general is very pessimistic and comes off as jaded to me. So if I were you, I'd question myself.