hobby paradox

[Viking]

i feel stuck

all my hobbies i used to have became boring.

on one hand i need to find hobbies to enjoy because i dont have any. the whole point of hobbies is to enjoy doing them.

on the other hand to get a new hobby i need to put in a lot of effort, which is not enjoyable, and usually what happens is that i just force myself to do it so it ends up not being enjoyable, defying the whole purpose of a hobbie.

how do i resolve this? 

[BlackMaze]

If you find something interesting enough that you never tried before it will be a little easier. You can't avoid the part that you suck at it at the start. It's either that or being stuck at your old hobbys. Or you could try taking your old hobbys to the next level. 

[flowboy]

What were they and how did they become boring?

What are you spending most of your time on during a day, and is that still interesting to you?

It would be good to provide more information, because boredom can come from a different area in your life

[Viking]

@BlackMaze@Soulbass

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

What were they and how did they become boring?

What are you spending most of your time on during a day, and is that still interesting to you?

It would be good to provide more information, because boredom can come from a different area in your life

My hobbies were:

Tv shows - My whole life I've been a huge fan of tv shows but now they're predictable and only rarely do i find something worth watching that keeps me watching.

Youtube - Used to watch a lot of varied content, and still do, but also very rarely, as most things got predictable/repetitive.

Videogames - My access has been cut off to them due to lack of a gaming PC but when I do have the chance they're sometimes entertaining, but only if they're extremely challenging like dark souls or dota, as I have the possibility to improve and overcome the challenge. Basically the rush of succeeding at something challenging.

But back in the day i remember when i played videogames often they got also boring because maybe the effort required to further advance was too high and i wasnt committed enough. I thought if I put that much effort into something I might as well put the effort into something more worthwhile and not as limited as a videogame, and since, ive been breaking my mind what could i put that much effort in.

I thought about coding, as i was good at it in highschool and maybe it could end up being more useful, and i tried and it was slightly entertaining. The problem came when i finished a coding session and when i thought some time later about doing another one it felt like a drag as the reward felt too small and i couldn't come up with things to code. it also felt pointless, i started asking myself why do i do it. just coding something random without direction felt too pointless and my motivation was gone very fast. i thought about just forcing it but the pointlessness is too strong that i cant bring myself to. (and from experience in other things if i force myself to do it ill hate doing it)

i thought about reading books and i actually read quite a bit of books (kind of proud of myself) (though didnt finish a big percentage of them), some from Leo's booklist, but i dont really enjoy doing it. it feels more like a chore and as a means to an end, to fix some problem in my life, and often i feel too overloaded with information for it to be worthwhile. also comes the thing with the tv shows and youtube that stuff starts to feel repetitive.

i thought about building electronic things but my imagination fell short and i was frustrated quickly as i was thinking what to do.

i have a bachelors of physics so i thoguht about studying it some more and i did try but it also feels directionless and pointless like the coding so i didnt get far as i quit.

basically i cant stick with things because they feel mostly pointless/directionless or i lack imagination or i feel overwhelmed with the options i have so i end up paralyzed.

i didnt find anything as engaging and consistent as videogames yet, but as i said my access to them is very limited. i think maybe what makes them engaging is that they set the pace so i dont have time to stop and think if its worth doing (though it happened a lot with videogames too, just sometimes i happen not to think about it for some reason). dont know how to let these thoughts and feelings go with other things. also videogames give me a rush like no other thing so i keep coming back. 

why do i need a 'point' to do something you ask? i probably dont, as i sometimes play videogames without a point, but it's just a thought that i cant get over, combined with my aversion to put effort into things, which make strong negative emotions (which might even feel like crying) that put me off.

p.s. what i partly meant by "force myself" in the original post is trying to force myself to do a thing despite it feeling pointless.

[flowboy]

@Viking  Thanks for providing more information.

Three thoughts here:

1. Life is too short to pursue things that aren't for you. Perhaps you simply haven't found 'the thing' yet, and should keep trying different things. Perhaps look in a different corner altogether (ever tried improv, as a random example?) Just to freshen the mind.
    
2. You might want to figure out why putting in effort gives you strong negative emotions. I bet that goes back to some childhood events, or just the way you were raised. Since anything worthwhile requires effort (that's just the way the game of life is set up), this blockage might remain a problem until you go deep and do some shadow work on it. There's multiple ways you may be able to clear this blockage, after which you might find putting in effort rewarding, like many others! And just imagine how that will change your life in the long term!
    
3. You used to like coding, but then there was no point. You studied physics. You like video games. Can you use the physics degree to get a good job, buy a decent PC, and learn to code video games as a new hobby?

[Soulbass]

since leo released cook-greuter's video, i like the idea "satisfaction in life comes mostly from inner work" (also the concept of requisite variety was eyes opening).

the things i used to do have lost a bit of fun, what motivates me now is social/community stuff.

now, i'm more into things like meditation, clean sleep & diet, lucid dreaming, building resistance to running long distances, building resistance to cold showers... things which can't be shared with the external world, because it would be weird or boring.

[AlphaAbundance]

The fuck does that have to do with hobbies? Are hobbies everything in life?

Hobbies are optional. Look into a full revamp, re-understanding of your life.

There are many other forms of happiness. Take a look at this model based on one of Leo's earlier videos:

• Lowest Tier
  • Drugs
  • Food
  • Partying
  • Drinking
  • Beauty
  • Money
  • Shopping, Materials
  • Media, Entertainment
  • Gossip, Idle Socialization, Shallow relationships
  • Fame, Sucess, Status
  • Validation, Approval
  • Porn, Sex
  • Romantic Infatuation
• Mid Tier
  • Hobbies
  • Exercise, Health Habits
  • Strong friendships and relationships
  • Family
  • Deep Loving Companion
• Highest Tier
  • Learning, Education
  • Excellent work and flow states
  • Inner development
  • Therapy
  • Coaching
  • Exercises
  • Journaling
  • Meditation
  • Seminars
  • Workshops
  • Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem, Confidence
  • Gratitude
  • Integrity
    • Living up to values, doing meaningful activities in your life, honoring commitments, not stealing, not cheating, not harming others, keeping commitments to yourself
  • Kindness, Contribution, Altruism
  • Being, Existing, Enlightenment, Awakening
  • Practice through meditation

I doubt your problem is simply feeling bored with hobbies or life as unless you have zero problems, then there is an issue you can fix (or some suffering you can eliminate). Also, there are other higher goals/endeavors (or some enjoyment you can create) than pursuing "hobbies" (although you can do whatever you want if you want to pursue  "hobbies" you can do that as well).

I find the notion of "hobbies" kinda stupid, restricting, and limited. Ideally, everything should be a "hobby". It's not like you want to have set aside time for all things hobbies/fun, that should be all day. Unless you are already rich / financially free or in some sort of dream job/profession/career (which doesn't make sense because you are having trouble with hobbies), you already have a major problem (I. E wage slavery) to overcome. You should focus on solving problems (eliminating suffering) and maximizing value (creating enjoyment) in your life, not fucking around with "hobbies".

Take a look at

Some major endeavors/areas to look into are

• Purpose/Passion
• Financial Freedom
• Enlightenment/Awakening
• Sexual/Romantic Abundance

Unless your life is perfect (and it will never be), there is really no "reason" to feel bored, life has infinite possibilities. Do you really think you have fully explored life, and all the value, enjoyment, enrichment, and interests it has to offer? Then your choosing to feel bored. And even if you have explored significantly, there is always something beyond. Trust me

Go out there and create an amazing life, not only with "hobbies" but with all areas and valuable endeavors

 

Edited December 17, 2020 by AlphaAbundance
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[mandyjw]

Lots of focus on pointlessness in your descriptions. Try to look more at the journey or the discovery. What are you truly seeking to gain as an end goal from these things? 

[Viking]

@AlphaAbundance for me hobbies arent just that, but a starting point from which to achieve all of the above.

u saw i included reading as my hobbies and youtube. they encapsulated a lot of what you're talking about.

hobbies for me eventually turn into passion and life purpose so its not just "hobbies"

[Viking]

4 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Lots of focus on pointlessness in your descriptions. Try to look more at the journey or the discovery. What are you truly seeking to gain as an end goal from these things? 

pretty simple. just things i could occupy my time with while enjoying. also maybe life purpose/wisdom eventually, as inquiring into metaphysical matters could be considered a hobby, but as of now i derive no enjoyment from these things so i need to start somewhere 

[Soulbass]

david deida the guy who talk about tantrism, says once you've fulfilled a goal in life you realize there is another goal underneath (like onion peeling) and everything you do in life is a journey to the core, deep down we all wants to merge with the infinite (it will happen, no worries...)

note: i wouldn't recommend deida's book.

tho it's fun to enjoy life and do useless shit, it's just fun.

[mandyjw]

9 minutes ago, Viking said:

pretty simple. just things i could occupy my time with while enjoying. also maybe life purpose/wisdom eventually, as inquiring into metaphysical matters could be considered a hobby, but as of now i derive no enjoyment from these things so i need to start somewhere 

Maybe start with the understanding that the activity doesn't bring you enjoyment, but you bring enjoyment to the activity. 

[AlphaAbundance]

@Viking

Developing hobbies won't (or isn't an efficient path) to developing financial freedom, enlightenment/awakening, romantic/sexual abundance, or really most of the different happiness items in the tiers above. The only real thing it will help you do is inefficiently find your life purpose.

And are you telling me you have absorbed and read everything of value from all of YouTube and of what can be read? ?

You can split the motivation for those activities into two main goals

• Productive / Educational
• Playing / Entertainment

I highly doubt you have absorbed everything of play/entertainment value and productive/educational value on YouTube and from reading.

In terms of productive/educational value, it's better to learn with a purpose/goal that you are trying to achieve such as reading Ekhart Tolle in pursuit of enlightenment or watching investment guides in pursuit of financial freedom.

What you can do is find a problem you can fix. The mindset of solving problems is a good place to start. Unless your life is perfect, you have a problem you can work on (and no I don't mean the problem of feeling bored but something else, that will likely be solved indirectly) To start:

• How are you supporting yourself? Do you enjoy, or mind how you are supporting yourself? Or are you financially free?
• Are you satisfied with your romantic/sexual life? Are there any endeavors, goals or exploration in this domain, that you would be interested in?

Or better yet,

• What do you desire? What do you want?

 

Edited December 17, 2020 by AlphaAbundance

[nistake]

I'd say this is just a phase. I also experienced this and I came to the conclusion that all of my previous hobbies were pretty much just meaningless distractions. They didn't give me joy, relaxation, fulfillment. I did all of those things just because I was bored and I didn't know what to do with my life.

After some contemplation I realized that this is maybe a common 'by-product' of self-actualization. You grow and your interests change. Nothing wrong with that. What really helps is having a vision and trying out new things. Contemplation is also huge. Maybe ask yourself questions like: What would I do if I had all the money in the world? What would be an ideal career for me? What would give me joy? Am I creative? What do I like to create?

[Logan]

@Viking Boredom is the product of loneliness. If you can Be by yourself with contentment, then boredom is not possible. Incorporate a meditation habit and read up on consciousness practices.

 Those aren't exactly high quality hobbies and you should see it as a sign of progress that you are growing out of them. Use the time you would normally spend in your hobbies to improve yourself and work towards your life purpose. You can do this through Leo's Life Purpose Course, , visioning, strategic planning, etc.  

Check out the author Robert Greene, specifically his book Mastery. It shows how masters are made, traps to avoid, and provides a framework for creating massive value that you can provide to the world.

If Truth Be Told by Om Swami is good too. It is a biography of a man who became a millionaire, realized material wealth and luxury was unfulfilling, gave away all of his money and became a monk. Very inspirational and shows the trap of a success oriented lifestyle and mindset.

Edited December 20, 2020 by Logan