Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott (100/10) (Powerful Shadow Work)

[Sagar Takker]

Many of us are interested in Shadow Work.

Until Leo decides to publish an episode sharing his knowledge on the topic, this book (and Carolyn's work in general) is something that I would recommend every one must check out.

 

Existential Kink (EK) is a powerful shadow work technique taught by Carolyn Elliott. The basic premise that she starts with is, 'Having is the evidence of wanting.' Which means, a part of us deeply desires whatever shitty circumstances, situations, people, patterns etc. we have in our life. Nay, (the part) not just deeply desires but loves them tremendously, gets orgasmic bliss out of them. This part is our Shadow and it's unconscious.

Before you jump up and say there is no part of you that deeply desires these challenging situations, please note that it's unconscious, which means you are not aware of it.

The technique (EK) is about getting on the side of this part and deeply loving, getting off on the situation (and the sensations it causes in your body) that you don't like. This act of loving the Shadow, 'Unites our Will.'

Most of us have divided wills. For example, let's say I want to make money by starting a business. Then, of course, the conscious part loves the idea of making money and being my own boss etc. But on an unconscious level, I might love comfort more; I might have an aversion towards all the hard work, decision making, marketing, learning etc. that is required in order to successfully run a business. This division of will would keep me stuck. I would find myself starting to work on my ideas but after making some progress I would self-sabotage my efforts.

Well, there is actually no self-sabotage! It's just that the Shadow, which loves the comfort, decides to take charge and push her agenda over my conscious intent. This, to my conscious mind, would appear to be so confusing.

'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.' - Carl Jung

However, if my will was united, I would find myself working effortlessly and joyfully and harmoniously towards my goals, even if I continue to fail or see lack of results.

 

My experience:

I wanted to work on my life purpose for a very long time. I 'struggled' for 6 long years to finally start working on it consistently. The pattern was that I would start working on something, then see no results or get tired of all the hard work, and stop working on it. For the first two years, I tried and failed many times and then stopped trying. It felt like I met a dead end. Thus, I started working towards getting a job. It took me around a year to prepare and get done with the process of getting a job in a bank. I worked there for three years.

I recently quit my job in order to work on my Life Purpose. I was living on my own when I was in the job, in a different city. When I quit the job, I moved in with my parents. It's been around 2.5 months since this move.

I got to know about EK around three years ago through Carolyn's blog, around the time I started preparing for the job. But back then, the book wasn't published. So even though I tried and did see good results with the technique, I wasn't able to do it properly and consistently. A few months ago, the book was published and I was quite excited about it. I pre-ordered it and received an EK guided meditation as a gift, too. Lucky me!

So when I returned home and started working on my Life Purpose, I also started practicing EK consistently.

And man, did everything shift so quickly!

I started with the practice by loving the pain of having this, 'start and stop' pattern. As I continued to love this pain, I discovered a deeper unconscious pain of being a burden on my parents. I discovered a part of me that deeply loves being dependent on my parents. I was totally unconscious of its existence. If someone had pointed this out to me, I would have shrugged it off as something so stupid. Consciously, I have not a tinge of desire to be dependent on my parents. Of course, it is quite taboo for a grown up to be dependent on one's parents. But the 'inner child' loves it anyway.

The result is guilt and shame. Guilt and shame keeps us stuck. Which is what was happening with me.

I have been doing EK on this pain and it has significantly dissolved. I have been working my ass off on my life purpose and LOVING the process. I work for hours in FLOW.

PLEASE NOTE that EK practice is not all roses. It's the very opposite of that. It's like going through deep shit and not minding it. For example, I don't mind being a burden on my parents for the rest of my life. You can imagine how hard it is to accept and love an idea like that. On the other hand, there is so much freedom in being able to love myself so deeply. This freedom unlocks so much energy to work on my conscious intentions.

 

I know I have written such a long post but I want to get across the power of EK as accurately as I can. It is LIFE CHANGING.

I wish you a profound life.

 

Warning: You might find Carolyn's personality a bit weird (she calls herself a witch). However, be as open minded as you can about studying her work.

[Ismael]

Thanks for sharing your experience with this shadow work technique! ? This really resonated. The circumstances and pattern described sound very familiar.

 The quote by Carl J. is awesome too. Such an eye-opener! 

14 hours ago, Sagar Takker said:

‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.' - Carl Jung

[Rilles]

will definitely read

i know i have some unconscious drive for sure that puts me in dangerous situations, would be nice to know why

I read and did the exercises from Debbie Fords book a couple years ago, it was good for learning self-love and self-acceptance, but this might be more deep

Edited December 21, 2020 by Rilles

[hyruga]

Thanks. It looks like a cool book. 

Like you, I have a habit of seeking comfort. Definitely I need to confront my shadow to find out why. 

 

Edited December 23, 2020 by hyruga

[Sagar Takker]

 

I am glad it helped you. Keep up the great work.

 

3 hours ago, hyruga said:

I am practicing making spontaneous video whenever I have new notes.

PS: Video was pretty bad as I switched on the fan too strongly and it blew my curtains on and off, allowing sunlight to come in. I also feel itchy because of the fan.

Your video looks nice. Let the sun shine...

[hyruga]

1 hour ago, Sagar Takker said:

 

I am glad it helped you. Keep up the great work.

 

Your video looks nice. Let the sun shine...

Thank you.

Haha the sun is too bright sometimes. Need to make sure the light is optimal.

[Rilles]

Listening to this book right now. Its giving me heart palpitations and nervous sweat. Frightening if its true that I want all the horror I've put myself through...

[Sagar Takker]

4 hours ago, Rilles said:

Listening to this book right now. Its giving me heart palpitations and nervous sweat. Frightening if its true that I want all the horror I've put myself through...

Stay courageous, friend! There's a better experience of life on the other side.

[Eva]

Found this book thanks to your suggestion and binged it within couple of days. I've never read anything like that before, mind blowing stuff. Thank you.

[Sagar Takker]

22 hours ago, Eva said:

Found this book thanks to your suggestion and binged it within couple of days. I've never read anything like that before, mind blowing stuff. Thank you.

Wonderful! Good luck with the practice. Enjoy the kinky experience.

[hyruga]

Maybe this EFT technique is helpful for some?

[Sagar Takker]

Combining EFT and EK is a wonderful idea. In my experience, it works really well; in fact, it gets better.

Carolyn also recommends EFT (and The Work of Byron Katie, Sedona Method/Release Technique too) in her book.

I often combine all the above mentioned tools and they all work well together. In my opinion, one should definitely learn all these four tools. That will skyrocket one's emotional growth.

Here's a video I made about sharing my experiences with these tools:

 

[hyruga]

Ok wow great video you have!

I have a confession to make: I didn't read existential kink because I didn't have the book.

What I did was check out a bunch of reviews, book summaries and interviews. Also check out some shadow work videos.

[nistake]

This sure looks interesting. I'll definitely check this one out!

[Renee_7777]

Thank you for sharing 

[nistake]

@Sagar Takker Man, thank you so much for recommending this book. Yesterday I bought it and I'm already halfway through it. Just did my first EK session and holy shit, this is definitely some powerful stuff!

Absolutely mind-blowing book.

[Sagar Takker]

In case you want a guided EK meditation, here's the link: http://carolyngraceelliott.com/ek-bonus

[Captain_Diabetes]

On 12/27/2020 at 3:45 PM, Rilles said:

Listening to this book right now. Its giving me heart palpitations and nervous sweat. Frightening if its true that I want all the horror I've put myself through...

ofcourse it true otherwise why would you do all the horror unless you wanted it..

this is just what being aware is... you are the awareness but dont be confused.. this is the devils work ,dont accept the shadow as this is just a temporary thing. the devil is the trickster and this is the trick if you side with the shadow it will make your life better at first but you will end up paying for it eventually.  you dont need to worship the shadow but just aware of it, soon as you are aware of it your light will send the shadow back to hell. 

the biggest problem is people ignore it as Sagar Takker mentioned he ignored it before when all he had to do was become aware if it instead he chose to join the dark side and give the shadow an identity , this is wrong and I hope Sagar Takker you understand this before its too late.

dont be fooled 

[Sagar Takker]

@Captain_Diabetes Did you read the book, my friend?

Accepting the shadow doesn't mean taking it's commands.

[Captain_Diabetes]

getting it now... will report back in 6hours

do i need a live chicken and a knife handy ? just dont wanna stop the book if i start it. gonna bindge through it

 

.. if you accept that you are a meth head and agree that smoking meth is fun and you take joy from it do you really think you will stop ?