Is casual sex harmful for women?

[Moon]

Ofc a blue religious/sexist POV will say yes and a pickup POV may want to say no ?

I mean in terms of emotional and spiritual well-being (for single women).

Thoughts? 

[Lyubov]

gonna depend on woman to woman. obviously if safe sex is practiced physically it poses little cause for concern. emotionally it's another story. is it being used to escape feeling something negative or looking for love which might be lacking in the self love department? it can be used as an escape like this. I think plenty of women have casual sex which is fine for them though. 

[Spiral]

I don’t see it as being different than from men. 

[Preety_India]

I think this depends on person to person. 

It can be both good and harmful for men and women depending on their perspectives. For example some men may not like the idea of emotional engagement in a relationship, and they are possibly looking for casual relationships to feel better, maybe that's their style. Whereas other men may get absolutely furious if their girlfriend said it was just a casual relationship, because maybe these men are looking for something emotionally deeper. The same goes for women. For some such relationships are a cure to their loneliness and need for companionship whereas others might look at it with disdain or not find peace in such relationships. Depends on an individual's POV. 

 

[Megan Alecia]

It depends on your priorities

[aurum]

@Moon

It's a really good question, one I've thought about quite a bit.

As a society as a whole, we're coming out of a Blue level of consciousness where sexuality tends to be repressed. Don't talk about, don't flaunt it, don't even think about it. And so I think it's good that people have released a lot of shame around casual sex.

That being said, just releasing shame around something does not necessarily make it a healthy choice. I might have no shame around constantly eating fast food, but my body won't be so happy about that.

Casual sex can also turn into a coping mechanism for deeper emotional / existential wounds.

So we want to eventually get beyond shame and coping to ask ourselves, what do we really want?

Is casual sex really what we want?

Or do we want something deeper?

Do we want to just get off? Or do we want to feel connection and intimacy with that person?

And I don't think there's any wrong answers here.

Maybe you've just got out of a long relationship and you're not ready for something deep. Or maybe you're tired of shallow experiences and want that connection. We all have different phases of life.

So rather than worrying about what's healthy, I'd focus on what makes us happy.

[Pilgrim]

I was told that after sex the man's energy stays longer in the body of the woman than vice versa. If I remember correctly, the energy supposedly stays around 3 months in women (I am not 100% sure about that number though) and in men it's just a few days. If we look at feminine and masculine energy that does make some sense to me.. although of course everyone has both energies.. but feminine energy generally has a "receiving" direction and masculine energy has a "giving" direction.. during penetration it's similar, the woman is in a "receiving" position and the man is in a "giving" position.. to me it does make some sense that women are longer "affected" from a sexual encounter than men.. (but men also seem to profit from sexual abstinence and NoFap, so they are "saving" their own energy and women are sort of "protecting" their own energy from someone else's energy) 

also..if we are generalizing, because there are always exceptions.. but in general women tend to also bond more during sex than men.. for men it's much easier to have casual sex without developing any feelings, for women it's much harder. 

Therefore it's of course everyone's personal choice, but I would especially advice to younger women to be very careful with whom to sleep. Just because you don't want to have just anyones energy in you for such a long time.. especially if that person's energy is not the best. Also you could develop feelings much more easily and become attached to someone who is actually not good for you.. but because of your attachment through physical closeness it's more difficult to see that and to differentiate. 

If you want to have causal sex though that's totally understandable, I would however make sure to really know the person you are sleeping with.. to be sure that they have an "enjoyable energy" and that they don't carry too much negativity in themselves. I feel like sex is really an energy exchange so I would really be careful with that. And if you don't want to develop any feelings you should make sure not to blur the lines too much.. not too much cuddeling etc. This might sound a bit strange, but I have just seen it over and over. 

Sex is so magical with the "right" kind of person and I think both sexes are highly profiting from that. However, with the "wrong" kind of person I don't think so... therefore I would choose wisely. But to each his own  

[Gesundheit]

3 hours ago, Moon said:

Is casual sex harmful for women?

Thoughts? 

Yes, thoughts are harmful.

[outlandish]

I don't think sex is ever "casual". Maybe it can get to that point for some extremely promiscuous people, but there's inherently so much vulnerability and intimacy in sex, I think it's extremely rare for sex to become a casual exchange. So the question is, in my mind, can there be too much of this kind of sharing and intimacy with many different people? 

It's definitely physically dangerous without condoms.

It's emotionally harmful if it's done without openness, respect and caring for the other person, in both (all) parties.

I think it's possible to be very promiscuous and to do it right, but it's extremely challenging and probably not sustainable for most people/women. See the book "The Ethical Slut". Not my cup of tea personally, but I think it's kind of the bible for poly people.

[Red-White-Light]

@Moon The man will suffer as much as the woman.

[Leo Gura]

45 minutes ago, Red-White-Light said:

@Moon The man will suffer as much as the woman.

In a bacon and egg breakfast, what's the difference between the chicken and the pig?

The chicken is involved, but the pig is committed.

[Red-White-Light]

@Leo Gura Have you never had a bacon and chicken sandwich?

[soos_mite_ah]

I think it depends on why someone is engaging in casual sex regardless of gender. 

There are some people who engage in casual sex as a way to cope with trauma, to get over a relationship, to stroke their egos by showing people how desirable they are, to fit in, etc. In those cases, I don't think it's healthy. Those reasons are typically rooted in fear or trauma. 

But on the other hand there are people who engage in casual sex in order to get better, to try new things, or to explore their sexuality more. In those cases, I think casual sex can be healthy. There is no real reason imo why casual sex needs to be taboo.

While there are good and bad reasons why casual sex can be healthy or unhealthy, that isn't the only factor at play (though it is an important one). Some people are more predisposed to it than others. And by that I mean that casual sex can be right for someone but wrong for another person. Some people may have good reasons for casual sex but they are the type of person who get easily attached emotionally when sex is involved. For those people, it isn't right and can at it's worst have traumatizing effects. But there are also people who can sleep around and not have any issues doing so, so for them casual sex is a good fit. 

Final verdict: I think emotionally there are a lot of factors at play ranging for someone's reasons for having casual sex along with their personal preferences/ tendencies. Spiritually speaking, I guess there is a spiritual lens only if you decide to make it spiritual. For some it is, for some it isn't. And either way is ok. 

[Moon]

@Pilgrim Amazing!! You put that into words well and it's the trajectory I was thinking. I guess as women are physically affected more by being penetrated (can get pregnant and RECIEVING sperm for fertilization), they are energetically more affected by it too as you said (RECIEVING whatever aura the man gives off), as well as the emotional/biological attachment occuring after sex, particularly for women. 

The exceptions would be those women who have more masculine energy/left brain dominant perhaps, and may partake in penetration themselves so may be less affected by casual encounters. Whilst the opposite for men who are more in touch with their feminine side. 

@aurum Interesting.

@soos_mite_ah Yeah I agree that it's bad if it's used to cover up prior emotional issues without resolving them from the root. But for an emotionally healthy woman, there can still be regressive emotional drawbacks perhaps (still not 100% certain on this) depending on the situation, energy exchange and as you said, predispositions. 

I don't think there should be "taboo" either surrounding casual sex ofc. Just as alcohol isn't a taboo in Western society but people should simultaneously consider the risks more. IMO there's more risks for women to consider here (not to shame, but to maximize well-being and growth). 

[Moon]

@ColeMC01 What? ?

When was I demonizing men?

[ColeMC01]

@Moon I was referring to leo sorry

@Leo Gura

Look i do not want to be mean but is it me or do your views on how guys think about love/sex/relationships etc tend to take mostly into account the stage orange type of guys. How are you so sure that guys are not as comitted and caring as girls are? 75 percent of divorces are issued by women (some random statistic), i honestly do not think that guys are any less into the girl as the girl is into the guy in most couples. Both sides cheat, both sides have issues for sure. 

[mmKay]

Depends of context

[Roy]

It is harmful if you do it in a harmful unconscious way. So >

You need to understand exactly why you're having sex. Emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.

You need to know how to have safe sex. Get tested, learn how to scope out people that won't lie or abuse you, always use contraception's.

You need to be doing it for genuine enjoyment and pleasure, not to escape loneliness or to cope with trauma.

[Someone here]

 Is it harmful for you should be the question. Not "women" since it's about your life not about women's lives lol.

And there isn't a " catalogue answer" (this is that and therefore it's ofcourse this) answer.

If you have experienced with it.. how is your experience with it? If you didn't experiment with it you can easily imagine experiencing it and how would that feel like for your well being. The answer Will vary from woman to woman. What matters is your answer. But not only based on the experience or how does it feel so to speak but you have to take into account the social view. Or your value system or something like that. Cuz doing drugs for example feels great but it's not a happy ending down that road (not saying casual sex is like that just to explain the point lol). 

Edited December 16, 2020 by Someone here

[xxxx]

Hey @Moon

This video sums it all. It is pretty balanced, and touches on the points that people have raised on this thread.

The comments under the video are pretty sad, though.

 

Also, found another video that further explains the 7th point - Sex can lead to infatuation - but it isn't in the context of casual sex per se - but about the roles of oxytocin and vasopressin generally during the act.

 

Nonetheless, attaching this, just in case. 

 

Hope this answers your question.