At a Spiritual Crossroads

[ChickenFeathers]

My wife and I are at a Spiritual crossroads when it comes to raising our kids. My kids are 5 and 3 and the choice of private, catholic education is approaching.

I am an Iraq War Veteran with PTSD and other mental health issues. These have helped guide me to higher levels consciousness as well is meditating, practicing yoga, watching videos, reading books, etc. These have helped me transcend my issues or deal with them more consciously. The shift in my concouisness has been profound in just 3 years. My wife has even said I've become a completely different person as I have let go of my faith and am practicing spirituality. I still go to church with her and the kids, but no hard-core practice and embodiment like I used to do while practicing catholicism. We are ok with one anothers practice, but educating our kids is where it gets complicated.

My wife and I were raised Catholic with very catholic parents. My wife seems to want to appease them and feels they need religion to cope with modern society. She feels it has helped her cope with issues in her life.. I agree to some extent as this was my childhood experience when I was alone and didn't fit in. I realized though my deep suffering after leaving the military along with dealing with childhood trauma and my other stuff; I was only able to transcend these though spirituality. This is based on my experience.

My wife has never been interested in consciousness work. She has never been interested in meditating or any spiritual practice other than her faith and thats ok. With kids though, I wish for them to grow up in the highest quality, most potent and direct teachings possible. What should I do? Are there more high consciousness resources out there for kids? Any guidance is much appreciated!

[Nahm]

@ChickenFeathers

Appreciate your service ??. Very relatable. Catholicism & coping go hand & hand, like peaks & valleys of a roller coaster. The beliefs & forcing of authority don’t resonate, but they are believed, internalized & identified with...and coped with. Odds are your entire families have been coping their entire lives and do not know otherwise, because they refuse to let beliefs go. Essentially they are choosing to be right rather then feel amazing (creating suffering). My two cents would be instead of educating the kids spiritually, spot any coping, and teach them inspecting direct experience to uproot that which they believe to be true but is not actual, the “cause” of the belief they ‘must cope’ with. They’ve already learned / mirrored the behaviors, but do not yet have the core beliefs behind it. You might say this is indirectly teaching letting go, in comparison with dogma, be it religious, spiritual, or parental personal bias. 

Just an opinion, again from a very relatable experience...your wife probably doesn’t resonate with verbiage like “consciousness work” because it’s a false basis. ‘How swift can we let go of what doesn’t resonate’ with us, and therefore recognize & get back to that we are always creating...might resonate. An individual Dreamboard , as well as one you both use as a couple, creating consciously together, makes this incredibly easy. (Letting crap go is the key). Why let this crap go right now? One look at the board answers this. Because what you want, and what you don’t. Easy. Peasy.  There is no ‘thinking’ in between, so to speak. Engaged in creating in this manor, does the work for you, you might say. The ‘Worldwide MultiBillion Dollar Catholicism Religion’ is naturally seen to be one’s own beliefs and nothing more. When what you write on the board is showing up in reality, the speed bumps of belief & dogma, (the suffering), and the limitation it is on your creating what you both actually most want, becomes plain as day. 

And is let go, more and more swiftly. Ultimately, it’s just a pass through, a witnessing of a coming & going. Without reaction, there is no call for coping. Eventually, there isn’t even the passing through of the ‘resistance’. 

Quality of life, like consciousness, goes way way up - all on it’s own. Trying to “do the consciousness work” assumes the basis consciousness needs work, or a separate self needs ‘more consciousness’ or ‘higher consciousness’. Recognize the obvious ignorance of “I need to work on infinite consciousness”. It does not make sense, does not resonate, does not feel good in ‘soul’, only in egoic righteousness...which of course has it’s coping. “The work”, in truth, is not work, it is effortlessness. Letting go. The non. Don’t replace one person’s dogma with another person’s dogma. 

I would also consider what you ‘should’ not do, for her benefit, which would be preventing her from fully feeling, including the micro day to day fall outs, from the continual holding of the dogma. Careful not to ‘cope her’. 

Here’s some family friendly Meditations. They are the ‘other than thinking’. 

The source is accessible to every one. No one has higher or more access. Consider the practicality of this. One of my kids calls the other “stupid”...and then is told to write five things they love about their “stupid sister”. Lol. Source is so Good. ☺️

[No Self]

The biggest factor as far as the wellbeing of the children go is having parents who are reasonably involved and engaged when challenges arise.

Single-sex schools are unnatural and harmful in my experience. There are a variety of alternative school systems and research is warranted - it's worth keeping in mind the temperaments and personalities of the children as well.

I went to an all-boys Catholic school and there were far too many serious abuse issues, including a couple of cases of pedophilia, affecting the boys there. Everything was covered up as they are obsessed with their public image. It amazes me that the Catholics never lose credibility no matter what they do.

[ChickenFeathers]

@Nahm

Thank you so much for your kind reply.  I will continue to reflect on this and apply is to my life.

I am faced with a binary decision knowing that sending her to Catholic school would program the very beliefs into them that I needed to transcend. I feel public school at least where we are from, would provide a higher quality education and allow for potentially more experiences to learn from.  Its a hard decision, especially when my wife is still very much attached to those beliefs and proir experience. Do I allow her to make the decision and just be with it and build from there?

I already do a dream board on my own digitally, I will certainly try one with my wife. I wasn't aware that this would help let go but see it more now in myself as I have let go of many attachments recently.

I do feel that through life experiences, my wife resignates more with spiritual teachings.  I will allow the flow of these to continue to shape us more effortlessly. I myself made the most progress spirituality when I did this. I am not attached to changing her, but allowing for opportunities to teach.

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

@ChickenFeathers

Appreciate your service ??. Very relatable. Catholicism & coping go hand & hand, like peaks & valleys of a roller coaster. The beliefs & forcing of authority don’t resonate, but they are believed, internalized & identified with...and coped with. Odds are your entire families have been coping their entire lives and do not know otherwise, because they refuse to let beliefs go. Essentially they are choosing to be right rather then feel amazing (creating suffering). My two cents would be instead of educating the kids spiritually, spot any coping, and teach them inspecting direct experience to uproot that which they believe to be true but is not actual, the “cause” of the belief they ‘must cope’ with. They’ve already learned / mirrored the behaviors, but do not yet have the core beliefs behind it. You might say this is indirectly teaching letting go, in comparison with dogma, be it religious, spiritual, or parental personal bias. 

Just an opinion, again from a very relatable experience...your wife probably doesn’t resonate with verbiage like “consciousness work” because it’s a false basis. ‘How swift can we let go of what doesn’t resonate’ with us, and therefore recognize & get back to that we are always creating...might resonate. An individual Dreamboard , as well as one you both use as a couple, creating consciously together, makes this incredibly easy. (Letting crap go is the key). Why let this crap go right now? One look at the board answers this. Because what you want, and what you don’t. Easy. Peasy.  There is no ‘thinking’ in between, so to speak. Engaged in creating in this manor, does the work for you, you might say. The ‘Worldwide MultiBillion Dollar Catholicism Religion’ is naturally seen to be one’s own beliefs and nothing more. When what you write on the board is showing up in reality, the speed bumps of belief & dogma, (the suffering), and the limitation it is on your creating what you both actually most want, becomes plain as day. 

And is let go, more and more swiftly. Ultimately, it’s just a pass through, a witnessing of a coming & going. Without reaction, there is no call for coping. Eventually, there isn’t even the passing through of the ‘resistance’. 

Quality of life, like consciousness, goes way way up - all on it’s own. Trying to “do the consciousness work” assumes the basis consciousness needs work, or a separate self needs ‘more consciousness’ or ‘higher consciousness’. Recognize the obvious ignorance of “I need to work on infinite consciousness”. It does not make sense, does not resonate, does not feel good in ‘soul’, only in egoic righteousness...which of course has it’s coping. “The work”, in truth, is not work, it is effortlessness. Letting go. The non. Don’t replace one person’s dogma with another person’s dogma. 

I would also consider what you ‘should’ not do, for her benefit, which would be preventing her from fully feeling, including the micro day to day fall outs, from the continual holding of the dogma. Careful not to ‘cope her’. 

Here’s some family friendly Meditations. They are the ‘other than thinking’. 

The source is accessible to every one. No one has higher or more access. Consider the practicality of this. One of my kids calls the other “stupid”...and then is told to write five things they love about their “stupid sister”. Lol. Source is so Good. ☺️

 

[ChickenFeathers]

@No Self the abuse scandals really drove me from the church and to really question it after being a devote catholic for 33 years. It was the final straw in many aspects. The church has seen huge declines in attendance pre pandemic. I feel as the world becomes more concouis, this will accelerate.

[Nahm]

2 minutes ago, ChickenFeathers said:

Do I allow her to make the decision and just be with it and build from there?

? What comes to mind is taking a few minutes together and writing the pros and cons on paper to see and discuss. Both of you letting reaction & impulse go, staying in communion, or true open communication with each other, and being mindful to be objective about it. I think the data might speak for itself. 

[ChickenFeathers]

@Nahm Thank you so much! ?