What is it that the other gives us, that is so important to us?

[JD8]

Guys, help me out here.

I was thinkng about death. I’m gaining more and more conviction that there is another dimension that we enter once we leave this body. Thus, I feel like I would be rather fine with just singing off from here and opening myself to the mystery, to see what it brings. It does not give me so much fear anymore.

The part that did bring anxiety was the realization that it is the others – my fiance and my family - that I would be more scared to be without. The thought that I will be alone there, in that other dimension - with noone to share it, experience with. And my fiance will be on a similar journey, separate from me, alone as well. Somehow, that is what gives me fear.

That realization leads me to wondering:

What is it that the other gives us, that is so important to us?

Happiness only real when shared, as the guy from „Into the wild” discovered.

Why is that? Both on the physical and mental/ego level – what is it that the other brings?

Essentially, all things that happen to us are the same, whether we experience them alone or with soemone else. Is it that the presence of the other somehow validates the experience for our ego? Gives it meaning? A completely different explanation?

 I’m an introvent so it’s not like I’m just afraid of being on my own – I actually like it a lot, so it’s not about that. It’s about some deeper truth of human nature. What is it that the other ignites in us?

Edited December 14, 2020 by JD8

[seeking_brilliance]

A good excuse. Wrapped with a bow of love. Also, what makes you think some other dimension would be any less populated? 

Edited December 14, 2020 by seeking_brilliance

[PurpleTree]

well apparently we're a social animal in this realm

so this is hundred of thousands of years of conditioning

it's in way like asking why do men like boobs

[JD8]

@PurpleTree yeah I literally ask that myself too 

but what is behind that 'social animal' label?

[PurpleTree]

26 minutes ago, JD8 said:

@PurpleTree yeah I literally ask that myself too 

but what is behind that 'social animal' label?

there are many books about it and i'm no expert

but i guess it just means that we evolved in groups, we're not particularly strong but as a group we're extremely strong, that's how we hunted other animals, protected ourselves, raised our children etc. built stuff, came up with concepts until we eventually discovered agriculture and built cities, we also build upon knowledge of others, our parents teach us a lot of stuff compared to let's say an octopus which has a very big brain but they don't really teach each other a lot of stuff. Also other people give us feedback, we can bond with them through discussion, bonding, laughing etc. which releases oxytocin and so on.

 

although i'm also somewhat of an introvert who comes from a tiny family and doesn't mind being alone a lot of the time. But you can also get stuck in that when you're not getting a lot of feedback and input etc.

 

 

On a deeper more spiritual level you can also say those other people are you. So if you feel connected to them it's a kind of connection to yourself. And if you love them it's self-love.

 

 

Edited December 14, 2020 by PurpleTree

[xxxx]

Hey @JD8

I'm glad you asked this. I have been thinking about something similar lately - about human expression and its role in our existence.

Why do we wish to feel understood? Why do we want the company of others? Why do we want to feel loved? I am not talking about the co-dependency kind of relationship, I am talking about - as you mentioned - the deeper truth to feeling like this.

Then, it got me to this particular thought - we give these feelings meaning - these feelings give birth to creative expression, and we have found ways to cater to them; businesses, movies, songs, traditions, politics, and each and every aspect of human lives in this present day exists because these human feelings wanted it to. 

A super abstract example - if a tree fell somewhere, and no one saw it - did it actually  count as falling? Likewise, if something nice/bad/amazing/scary happened to us somewhere, and there was no one to share it with, would it actually count as a 'happening'? 

Into the Wild is one of my favorite movies - and we can use the aforementioned analogy here, too. He sought wilderness and lived through the experience too, only to know that everything has its own place. There's this random order to everything. Humans are a specific sample size among the infinite others - with millions of years of evolution that we just can't escape. We never used to be social animals, but with the advent of agriculture and the growth of settlements, our behavior took this turn - and now we are just this. 

Were we always like this? No. Will we always remain like this? No. 

That's the beauty of this. 

We can choose to be a part of God's creative expression - through these emotions. It's more beautiful when you are conscious of this as an aspect to God's love. 

What McCandless does is he shuns humans to go find love in nature, only to come to the conclusion that it is all God. Nature is as loving and as ruthless as any other expression of the infinite.

It just takes awareness on our part to find the beauty in it all. 

It's all love - having a family, exchange of physical, emotional, and mental space, living like McCandless in Alaska, or being this 200-year-old mummified monk in deep meditation. 

.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/04/the-curious-tale-of-the-200-year-old-mummified-monk-reportedly-frozen-in-a-lotus-position/

.

 

 

Edited December 14, 2020 by xxxx

[kbone]

@xxxx

Yes,  just walking away from society and into the mountains/forests/highlands was an important aspect for this mind-body. The simplicity of life and the splendor of nature in its majesty and details were much needed when faced with the massive monkey mind shenanigans that I, literally, asked the universe to show me. It got pretty wild, needless to say, hehe.

Be careful what you ask for! ???

[Megan Alecia]

we are animals that came from caves. We all need each other (like comment above already said). it's probably an instinct of our species

i saw this in a psych trip so please don't message me about it. yes we most likely came from apes. 

Edited December 14, 2020 by Megan Alecia

[JosephKnecht]

6 hours ago, JD8 said:

Why is that? Both on the physical and mental/ego level – what is it that the other brings?

Let us assume that once there existed One Perfect Being. The Perfect Being was perfect, but I had nobody to share its perfection with.

So the Perfect Being decided to split itself. The split made Him Imperfect. He created other beings and unto them, he gifted his perfection.  

We need others because in them we see our lost perfection. The others give us the perfection that we lost. Others make us whole.

By loving others, we regain the lost love for ourselves. By being with others, we regain our lost Being. 

[Madhur]

@JosephKnecht