Please help me I need some advise

[Kyle Gjerseth]

Basically I've been doing this very toxic theorization stuff since I saw your content and became obsessed in 8th grade when I was severely depressed about a female. I was doing tabs very irresponsibly and I just turned 18 and did half a tab and I feel some clarity, this triggered me to watch the dangers of spirituality video but I realized just how severly I've been demonizing all of reality as low-consciousness and I was severly addicted to thc oil and I got way in-over-my head and now I'm withdrawling and I get panic attacks and tons of symptoms I feel like I'm having awakenings but it's all so toxic I look at all my friends who do drugs and get so depressed bc I kno they won't change and I don't know how to not be so ambitious and set myself up for failure. You said in a viedo that somebody could ruin their whole life that way and I've been scared since, I'm a virgin with extreme social anxiety and I feel like I'm going to and have been using this work to hopefully someday have sex with a female I've been locked up in residential treatment centers and at one I was drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk and I even convinced myself I was bi when I was situalionaly gay and at the same time reading peter ralston and turning everything into a dogma what can I do please help me I have professional help but it's not as deep my anxiety is out of controll

[Nahm]

@Kyle Gjerseth

What do you want? Anything that comes to mind. Things, experiences, etc. Anything.  What do you want? Not on anyone’s behalf, just your own. What do you want? 

[snowyowl]

Sorry to hear you've been going through this, and welcome to the forum. Please take care of yourself and your health, that is the most 'spiritual' thing you need to do at the moment. Give the detox time to clean yourself out, engage with the professional help. Try spending time with nature, start an exercise routine, healthy diet, good sleep routine and daily meditation. Slow down a bit and relax. Learn to have regular friendships and relationships - remember that females are whole people too, not just for sex. At 18 years old you are beginning your adult life, don't worry about awakening etc, look at Maslow's Pyramid and focus on where you are at. Please try to find peace in the moment you are in, rather than chasing after sensations and experiences to get happiness somewhere else. 

Edited December 14, 2020 by snowyowl

[Kyle Gjerseth]

This was great advise and I can feel this pull toward like good or something like that but i realize how emotionally damaged ive been my whole life and how much i care about what people think and I was severly demonizing like everything and I just feel how the legal system and so much in life is driven by anxiety or empathy serisouly thank you i was so cocky and arrogant and well ofc I still am but really just love 

[Waken]

Hi Kyle, I can relate somewhat. What for me has been quite the life changer was when I adopted a message that suggested following your excitement/passion/joy/curiosity/whatevermakesyoufeelgood/etc. in every moment the best you can. See 'following your excitement Bashar' on Google. I think a whole lot can be written and all sort of questions can be asked to you, but honestly for me it seems that that suggestion is all you ever need. 

Edited December 15, 2020 by Waken