How to vibe with the people ?

[Madhur]

I have been introvert for most of my life but as i am growing up I'd like to break my introvert shell and be more out going and be more interactive. I don't have social anxiety, I can talk with people but I can't match the vibe of the conversation, like sometimes the other person can feel that there's something off about me and I am just forcing the conversation, so when I talk it seems that I am cringey or being creepy but in reality I am not, I think it's because I am not able to completely attune with the conversation and the people, I'd really appreciate any help about how to get over this.

[Megan Alecia]

 

 

[kag101]

This probably happens because you don't have enough practice. 

[xxxx]

@Madhur

[PepperBlossoms]

I find that it tends to be easier to talk with some people more than others based on if the interests are similar and if you can inspire each other to take the conversation in various ways.  If one or both parties are not wanting to do that - it will tend to not go anywhere.

[Madhur]

@Megan Alecia i like the idea of setting intention from the first video, setting intentions has helped me in many situation but i haven't tried it for a conversation. I am gonna do and notice how it'd go. Thank you.

@kag101 enough practice of talking to people ?

@xxxx thank you for the thread

@PepperBlossoms I do sometimes feel like that but now i am trying to have a genuine interest in the conversation no matter what topic it is, tho i am the only one on this journey of self actualisation among my friends so sometimes it gets kinda hard to carry on with the conversation that has no value or knowledge, so I have to just pretend to be in a conversation. 

 

[seeking_brilliance]

It could be as simple as you have outgrown the interests of the people you surround yourself with. It happens. Though one trap is to believe there's no value in what can manifest with these types of people. 

[kag101]

On 12/14/2020 at 1:27 AM, PepperBlossoms said:

If one or both parties are not wanting to do that - it will tend to not go anywhere.

I agree.

I always try to find an intersection of what I like and what the other person likes.

On 12/14/2020 at 10:29 AM, Madhur said:

it gets kinda hard to carry on with the conversation that has no value or knowledge

Careful not to be arrogant. Socializing ain't quantum physics!

If I could give you only one piece of advice, it would be to not force yourself too much and try to relax.

[BlackMaze]

Try to focus on what the other is saying and not so much to what you will say next. When you hear carefully you can take a word that you hear and make a question out of it. This way the conversation will get going. 

[Logan]

@Madhur  Learn to be open-minded, empathetic, and genuinely curious about the people you talk to. If your friends aren't interested in self actualization and are actively holding you back, ask yourself if they are people you want in your life. 

Let go of the fearful part of your mind that tries to control what others think of you. Instead turn your attention toward outward and try to understand the other person's perspective.

Read:

The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene

 

[Carl-Richard]

Stop thinking you're an introvert.

[OctagonOctopus]

On 12/13/2020 at 9:37 AM, Madhur said:

...sometimes the other person can feel that there's something off about me and I am just forcing the conversation, so when I talk it seems that I am cringey or being creepy but in reality I am not, I think it's because I am not able to completely attune with the conversation and the people, I'd really appreciate any help about how to get over this.

First of all notice that you thinking that others are thinking something about you has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the way you talk to yourself. You are calling yourself creepy & identifying with that thought. This can cause akward situation to manifest. Start creating a vision where you are flowing with the nature of the conversations you are having. Then go out and make that vision a reality, allow yourself to make mistakes, contemplate about what you felt went well with a conversation, & what you felt didn't. Learning & growth will happen the more awareness you put into it.

I find the wider the circle of things I learn about the more I have to talk about with people. Thus the easier it is to attune with the conversation. Just be attentive to their words & let approrate connections to what they are saying flow. Develop a curious attitude to see things in the way the other person sees things, this will get you far. The more connections you make to the things the other person is saying the faster you will get to a flowing converstation. 

[Gesundheit]

When you're talking with others, is your mind actually with you or elsewhere?