5 meo, almost. The party

[Breakingthewall]

The vertigo of empty death. I have just been at death's door but I have not died. The horror of the dead void. There is nothing. Nothing, it opens before you, dead. Nothing dead, without escape because it is infinite. Infinite death Guys, I can say that in my specific case it takes courage to continue with this. I've been a serious rock climber, glider, sailing alone, Atlantic Crossings, etc ... all those kiddie games. Infinity opens before me. And once again I see that it is eternal death, unimaginable, unthinkable, beyond horror. And there I have to go, my whole life has been a preparation. I have to dive headfirst into horror. Nobody has an idea, no matter how much you meditate, no matter how enlightened you may think, what I am talking about. For me 5 meo is like that, and only I exist. Maybe for others this is child's play. It takes more courage for me than a firing squad. The shot does not know what awaits him, I do, the horror of non-existence. But how is it possible not to exist? Now everything is blurred, the emptiness, ah of course, what the mystics say. it's pretty deep down, liberation. Yes yes, the horror. Today I go back, to see if God, I , as they say (I don't see any god) allows me to die completely this time. Or if not tomorrow. The total, real, absolute, empty, death. You can't imagine the horror, the infinite. Well, as it supposed it's the door of enlightenment, let's go. And I don't want to live with the fear of that infinite horror. Dear friends, the 5 meo party is waiting for all of us

[Breakingthewall]

Where are the balls to dead? Let's see if I find them, maybe they are lost

[actualizing25]

So it wasn't a positive experience for you at all?

[James123]

@Breakingthewall go deeper till no one left to talk. 

[Breakingthewall]

Just now, James123 said:

@Breakingthewall go deeper till no one left to talk. 

No one left to talk, was infinite , but still no total death. Maybe wasn't the moment. Serious thing

[James123]

5 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

No one left to talk, was infinite , but still no total death. Maybe wasn't the moment. Serious thing

Surrender the self, embody infinite and after that be nothing, singularity, pure and empty. 

Edited December 13, 2020 by James123

[Breakingthewall]

17 minutes ago, James123 said:

Surrender the self, embody infinite and after that be nothing, singularity, pure and empty. 

25 minutes ago, actualizing25 said:

 

Yes , exactly. Maybe next time. The pure empty seems to me death, the point is that shouldn't be a "me", and even with a quite big dose the horror is still there. 

But embody the infinite? There is no one to embody , only infinite and death without return (seems like)

 

25 minutes ago, actualizing25 said:

So it wasn't a positive experience for you at all?

Yes, I'm masochist and now I feel very good. Maybe because I'm not dead for now. And positive too because I think it's one step more to the real dissolution. For me seems very difficult

Edited December 13, 2020 by Breakingthewall

[James123]

4 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Yes , exactly. Maybe next time. The pure empty seems to me death, the point is that shouldn't be a "me", and even with a quite big dose the horror is still there. 

But embody the infinite? There is no one to embody , only infinite and death without return (seems like)

 

Because You are created by of the process of thoughts. Only when you dont think, you can be nothing, pure and empty. Thats why no one is there, which is equal to moment of genuinely not knowing or forgetting everything. You still think that no one is there, thats why you cant be. 

Embody infinite mean is let go the self, you must be afraid when you realize there is no one. Because you are still stuck in process of thoughts. You are just a thought. Let it go. 

[Breakingthewall]

@James123 yes, let go the self. It's a total surrender to merge with that infinite nothing. Really scary, I can't imagine how it's possible without 5 meo. Even with it it seems really difficult to me, it's the most intense thing that I ever experienced, and it's not nice at all

[James123]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

@James123 yes, let go the self. It's a total surrender to merge with that infinite nothing. Really scary, I can't imagine how it's possible without 5 meo. Even with it it seems really difficult to me, it's the most intense thing that I ever experienced, and it's not nice at all

Thats why meditation and silence mind is the key brother. After Infinite nothingness will be just a singularity, which is before the big bang. Just nothing , pure and empty? but is you, love it?

[Breakingthewall]

9 minutes ago, James123 said:

? but is you, love it?

Now I have a great sensation, like...infinite, incredible...but Everytime I was there I remember another sensation not nice at all: death, absolute absence, horror. Maybe if I go 100 times to this terrorific infinite at the end im going to love as you said

Edited December 13, 2020 by Breakingthewall

[James123]

3 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Now I have a great sensation, like...infinite, incredible...but Everytime I was there I remember another sensation not nice at all: death, absolute absence, horror. Maybe if I go 100 times to this terrorific infinite at the end im going to love as you said

If you go deeper that infinite will crash into singularity, just nothing, empty and pure. ?thats my favorite ???

[Breakingthewall]

32 minutes ago, James123 said:

If you go deeper that infinite

The definition of absolute terror

[James123]

14 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

The definition of absolute terror

Why do you need to be scare of the horror? Just love it. Because you learned that you must be scared of it? 

Edited December 13, 2020 by James123

[Forestluv]

@Breakingthewall Keep in mind this is real in a sense and a contextualized story in a sense.

[Breakingthewall]

17 minutes ago, James123 said:

Because you learned that you must be scared of it? 

Ha ha and ha. Maybe you can't understand what I'm talking about. There is nothing, absence, you aren't there, no thought, no mind, only the perception of the nothing, but the nothing reveal as infinite, there are no words for it, and suddenly a certain: death, eternal void, zero, off, bye, let's die! For the eternity. No one is there to think anything that could be learned. Is your primordial being, before the words, facing the infinite void, where is nothing, and there is no escape. You are no thinking there, only a realization exist: horror

This is the 5 meo party for me

[James123]

8 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Ha ha and ha. Maybe you can't understand what I'm talking about. There is nothing, absence, you aren't there, no thought, no mind, only the perception of the nothing, but the nothing reveal as infinite, there are no words for it, and suddenly a certain: death, eternal void, zero, off, bye, let's die! For the eternity. No one is there to think anything that could be learned. Is your primordial being, before the words, facing the infinite void, where is nothing, and there is no escape. You are no thinking there, only a realization exist: horror

This is the 5 meo party for me

Yea? Maybe i have lost everything and I accept what i am? Because nothing is absolute and pure.

Edited December 13, 2020 by James123

[Breakingthewall]

1 minute ago, James123 said:

Yea? Maybe i have lost everything and I accept what i am? 

Could be, if I'm facing that horrible shit again and again it's because I want to accept too, seems Impossible but more impossible is to stop

[James123]

1 minute ago, Breakingthewall said:

Could be, if I'm facing that horrible shit again and again it's because I want to accept too, seems Impossible but more impossible is to stop

Wait to become that infinite and after that you will become singularity, just nothing. Before big bang. You wont even remember what is infinite, any of these sentences. Deepest sleep. No thoughts whatsoever. Thats why you are dreaming now.

[Adamq8]

15 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Ha ha and ha. Maybe you can't understand what I'm talking about. There is nothing, absence, you aren't there, no thought, no mind, only the perception of the nothing, but the nothing reveal as infinite, there are no words for it, and suddenly a certain: death, eternal void, zero, off, bye, let's die! For the eternity. No one is there to think anything that could be learned. Is your primordial being, before the words, facing the infinite void, where is nothing, and there is no escape. You are no thinking there, only a realization exist: horror

This is the 5 meo party for me

Keep digging deeper!

You are that.

But it is more facets to this.

The mind draws conclusions about this experience that you had and is filled with horror.

But how do you suppose this world arose out of that state?

No stuck for eternity.