So I have this disease called POIS (post orgasmic illness syndrome). And every time I fap I literally become ill for like 1-2 days duration. It is like having flu. All the exhaustion and loss of energy and muscle pain hit me after finishing jerking off. It is also challenging emotionally. I tend to become more depressed and less motivated for life.  So that's it I will never fap ever. Not until I find a solution for this problem. One might be is raising my baseline level of consciousness which worked previously but I still don't know for sure.