Meditation Journal

[Raptorsin7]

I want to track my meditation progress after each session so I can see what's working and what's not working.

I want a consistent meditation technique that allows me to get in touch with repressed emotions/feelings and work through them and let them go.

My general philosophy around meditation right now is a combination of BEING AWARE OF BEING, ACCEPTING EVERYTHING IN DIRECT EXPERIENCE WITH ACCEPTANCE INSTEAD  OF RESISTANCE/AVERSION, and FEELING INTO WHATEVER EMOTIONS ARE PREASENT WITH COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE.

I'll record the duration and how I used my attention during the session so hopefully I can triangulate on a single meditation technique/philosophy that allows me to move forward with my life. 

[Raptorsin7]

30 Mins- Sober-Laying Down-Music

I tried to just sit with whatever feelings are here but it's very difficult to just sit and be. It feels like I'm holding my breathe and I can't go more than like 10-20 seconds of just doing nothing without feeling like I have to breathe to deal with the discomfort.

I feel the knot of tension in my head, but It's hard to get relief and start relaxing the tension. 

I noticed i'm very reactive to thoughts and discomfort. If I just sit and be, i feel uncomfortable and I feel the need to take a breathe to cope with the discomfort. 

Summary:

I think the ideal technique for where i'm at is to become aware of what i'm feeling in the moment and to sit with that feeling and fully accept the feeling without constant aversion. And as the feeling/emotional state is accepted, calm breathing while fully accepting the feeling should have a positive effect.

Be mindful of how reactive you are to what's happening in reality. And try to sit with the current emotional state without aversion as much as possible. 

I want to find a more effective way to record these meditations, I think this is too wordy and intellectual and I feel tense just writing it. I also want to find a way to reconcile the different teachings from Rupert Spira, The sedona Method, Acceptance/Surrender teachings.