My Social Anxiety Morphed Into Extreme Awkwardness

[The Don]

Hi.

By becoming more aware of what's happening inside my own mind, I somehow managed to get rid of my social anxiety. It's not that bad as it was before. I no longer get nervous around people and my beating heart is pretty relaxed.

But when I'm interacting with someone, after 20 seconds or so, I'm becoming awkward. An internal feeling of awkwardness bubbles up without having control over it.

I can observe that the people I talk to can sense that. They become awkward as well. It's so unpleasant!

It's a strange situation to move from social anxiety to social awkwardness.

Should I interact more with those around me? Do I have to be the one who opens up the conversation with someone?

And are there any of you who finally overcame social awkwardness or social anxiety?

Thanks in advance!

[PurpleTree]

well it seems like a step up, which is good because anxiety basically just blocks you to do anything.

you also seem sensitive if you can sense that feeling in other people. it might also be projection though, maybe they're actually not feeling awkward?

Edited December 12, 2020 by PurpleTree

[LastThursday]

From my experience there are two sides to social awkwardness.

The first side is that there are unwritten rules to social interaction. You know, correct level of eye contact, saying the right things, talking enough, being relaxed. And a hundred other things. The only way to improve, is to pay attention to when you feel awkward and ask yourself "why?". The awkwardness is a signal that you've broken one of the rules of social interaction; find out which ones and correct them.

The second side is that the feeling of awkardness is not real. It's not life or death, it's just a feeling that will pass. It's good practice to just let the feeling wash over you and to "own it" rather than to shrink away from it. Admit to yourself you feel awkward and say to yourself "so what?" and let it pass. If you can learn to do this with confidence, then it won't be a problem for you.

 

Edited December 12, 2020 by LastThursday

[xxxx]

 

Hope this helps, @The Don

[aurum]

@The Don

Hate to say it, but if you're being awkward you're still anxious. The two go hand in hand.

Likely what has happened is just that your anxiety has diminished. It's still somewhat there, but it's become more subtle. Which then makes you act it subtle weird ways.

Just spend more time socializing with people and doing the spiritual work. Notice any habits or environmental factors that may be contributing to your anxiety.

The awkwardness will continue to diminish over time as you become more in alignment. Right now, it's like you're an instrument that's playing out of time with the rest of the orchestra. So you gotta get back into the flow.

[mandyjw]

What wrong with awkwardness? I love awkwardness. I would prefer to have a conversation with someone who is interested in the conversation or interaction itself and not so concerned about what I'm thinking of them that they don't really hear or see me. 

[Logan]

@The Don You are stuck in your own head, worrying about what people think of you, trying to hide your flaws or ignorance from others. Me just telling you this and you believing me won't help you. Investigate why you are feeling awkward.

 

Ask yourself:

What belief or assumption about myself is causing this feeling? 

What am I trying to hide from this person I am speaking to?

How am I trying to manipulate this person so that they will think highly of me?

 

Learn about empathy. Become genuinely interested in other people. You need to understand human nature.

Resources:

The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

 

 

Start a meditation habit. Your mind will calm and you will be able to tune into others.

 

Calm the monkey in your mind.

[meow_meow]